Fighting is such a Waste..Love Comes and goes so quick Message board

  • View author's info Posted on Jul 07, 2005 at 11:06 PM


    All, I know it is a rare moment when you find me serious, but I need reflect for a moment on how so many of us get so caught up on the bickering little details and let things that are really minor in the big scheme of things tear lives apart and destroy relationships.
    My best friend of 15 years called me tonight, and as much as she tried, she could not fake the sound in her voice.
    Years ago, like so many of us, she fled an extremely abusive relationship, and I do mean abusive, she was literally taken underground and was hid for two years until her exhusband was shot and killed by his next girlfriend for abusing her. She raised her only child alone and built a successful life, put herself thru college and became a nurse, and focused on her son and never dated. Her son is my son's age, that's how we met, he's 22. She finally decided, at about the same time I started dating you-know-who, that she would try again, and she was re-introduced and fell in love with one of the men who helped put her underground years ago. They spent the past few months dating and weekend before last, June 26th, he asked her to marry him. She accepted and was elated. He was riding his motorcycle home from Tulsa to Ardmore (about 3 1/2 hrs) on June 27th and was rear-ended by an 18 wheeler truck going 90 mph; the driver of the truck was high and never saw him; "Peanut's" motorcycle went under the truck and he was drug 300 yards; These two people spent the last 20 years apart, in the past 3 months found love again, and it was short lived. Remember to tell those you love that you do so, and bury the hatchet over things that really don't matter. And to all of you here, my friends..thanks for being my support system, and I love you for it.
  • 19Comments

  • View author's info Posted on Jul 13, 2005 at 03:11 PM



    ThighSyn write:
    BHG~
    I was at work today when I read this thread. I can honestly say, tears of heartbreak swelled for you and your friend and all involved. Even for those in anger that may be lashing out at her, perhaps now it is their way of dealing with the shock and pain. You are a dear friend to her and she will be blessed by having you with her.
    My prayers to you and all of them!!

    I have a family situation where anger and turning the backs has hurt many of us.

    Between you and Seeme with the threads I have read today, you both may have reached much further than you will ever realize. I think I have someone to go see.

    Thank you!



    Thigh, I hope all works out for you.
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 13, 2005 at 03:10 PM



    ridinsolo write:
    i'm saddened to read your letter...i too lost my best friend of 12 yrs , 2 yrs ago i was devastated and still am..(i'm getting better at handleing the pain) But that day of her funural...i knew with all the plans we made together about our future as friends.....it was all dashed in a slit second....it rocked my world.....my point: i will not agrue fuss or fight...and i realize first hand how fast things can change.....it is not worth having the negitive or drama in my life..i will be your friend or lover but i only have room for the positive in my life........i will not say an unkind word to anyone....i am not vindictive.....(if you don't like me, just leave me alone as i will you) i will not hollor or scream at anyone...(it does not make someone hear you, it just shut them down).....and I HATE DRAMA...that is the most unsettling thing to deal with for me......there is enough BS in this world...i want to be surrounded by positive people in my life..people who can say..."good job..aj...or..that was real nice of you.."you did the right thing...." what was the question...he he.aj



    I am sorry to hear of your loss as well Solo..and I too understand. And that was the reason for my post. Life is too short. You have learned from your lossand have chosen to push negative people from your life, because there is no time for it.
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 13, 2005 at 06:19 AM


    i'm saddened to read your letter...i too lost my best friend of 12 yrs , 2 yrs ago i was devastated and still am..(i'm getting better at handleing the pain) But that day of her funural...i knew with all the plans we made together about our future as friends.....it was all dashed in a slit second....it rocked my world.....my point: i will not agrue fuss or fight...and i realize first hand how fast things can change.....it is not worth having the negitive or drama in my life..i will be your friend or lover but i only have room for the positive in my life........i will not say an unkind word to anyone....i am not vindictive.....(if you don't like me, just leave me alone as i will you) i will not hollor or scream at anyone...(it does not make someone hear you, it just shut them down).....and I HATE DRAMA...that is the most unsettling thing to deal with for me......there is enough BS in this world...i want to be surrounded by positive people in my life..people who can say..."good job..aj...or..that was real nice of you.."you did the right thing...." what was the question...he he.aj
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 13, 2005 at 05:32 AM


    SO SORRY
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 12, 2005 at 02:30 PM


    BHG~
    I was at work today when I read this thread. I can honestly say, tears of heartbreak swelled for you and your friend and all involved. Even for those in anger that may be lashing out at her, perhaps now it is their way of dealing with the shock and pain. You are a dear friend to her and she will be blessed by having you with her.
    My prayers to you and all of them!!

    I have a family situation where anger and turning the backs has hurt many of us.

    Between you and Seeme with the threads I have read today, you both may have reached much further than you will ever realize. I think I have someone to go see.

    Thank you!
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 11, 2005 at 08:06 AM


    damn ...wish there were words to make it better. I'm so very sorry.
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 10, 2005 at 11:32 AM


    Thanks to all of you who have posted and written your support and given your kind words. As you may have guessed, I have been in frequent contact with her, she lives about 1 1/2 hrs from me right now. She had given notice to her employer that she was getting married and moving to Ardmore; after the tragedy her employer asked her to reconsider, she told him that more than ever she needed to leave her position and move "home" back here where I am; she is a hospice nurse, which means her patients are all terminal so it is even more difficult for her now. More facts about the situation, apparently the long haul driver told the HWY patrol officer that he had been on cocaine for 3 days and never even saw the motorcycle, he didn't know what had happened and some other vehicles boxed the truck in and forced him to slow down and pulled him over; some other cars called for help. Peanut was drug under the truck about 300 yards until his motorcycle came out from under the truck and fell to the side of the road. The driver is still in jail and has not bonded out. Sharon said that Peanut's motorcycle club has been very supportive of her and very helpful, but that his immediate family has turned their back on her and is very angry because they blame her as he was returning from her home when the accident happened and had he not been with her, he would have been at home safe. She is feeling guilt and pain of her loss, and has not yet been able to return to work as her work is constant death and dying. I will be going to Tulsa next weekend; am going to get in touch with Abate as we have a pending law on the books (Jagger's Law) for this exact reason (Failure to yield/Right of Way) regarding motorcyclist's killed/injured and we have a memorial ride to promote awareness, and in touch with Downed Bikers to see about financial assistance with a run.

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  • View author's info Posted on Jul 08, 2005 at 11:52 PM


    My Prayers for you and your friend BHG ,my deepest apolegies to your friend for the wrong that has been done. being a driver i know i can speak for many of my brothers when i say this.
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 08, 2005 at 04:11 PM


    BHG, my heart goes out to you & your friend. I know it is of little comfort but she knows he loved her. Probably had all these years. Be there for her, hug her, or just sit quietly beside her. She will draw from your strength. Let her know that folks here send their love & prayers her way.
    For the rest of you, take heed from her loss. Don't be afraid to tell those closest to you that you care for them (even if you can't bring yourself to the "L" word). We never know when we will face that time when "tomorrow never comes". Don't let that time arrive, leaving you to say "if only".
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 08, 2005 at 09:31 AM


    BHG
    My thought and prayer are with you and your friend. Losing a loved one is never easy. She'll need you the most in about 2 weeks, when everyone has left her to grieve. Just hold her and love her thats all you can do. We haven't talked much, but I feel you pain. Stay strong you have alot of friends here.
    "A friend is one who knows our faults yet finds our virtues too, then LOVES us unconditionally."
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 08, 2005 at 07:35 AM


    blondie we are the family ......

    we feel your loss..

    don't let go on the feeling we all bring here everyday...

    my hug is in your arms...hold it tight.. and I'll give you a real one soon....

    we use that word a lot here..

    soon.......
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 08, 2005 at 07:32 AM


    BHG what a sad and tragic story. You in my thoughts and prayers, sweetie.
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 08, 2005 at 05:32 AM


    (((((((BHG))))))
    you, your friend and families are in my prayers
    i always make sure i tell the people around me that i love them
    the other thing society has gotten wrapped up in is the things we have instead of sharing ourselves with the people we love--so love,hug, cuddle and kiss the people because actions speak louder than words sometimes

    and don't run away from love either when it comes knocking open the door and let it in--look thru the peephole 1st if you must but open it because it may not come knocking again

    i love ya'll like family--and will get to meet alot of you this summer
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 08, 2005 at 04:03 AM


    BHG...what a tragedy to happen....she has you as her friend, she will survive this....yes you are right, the stupid littler pickering needs to go, and just love who is in your life and let them hear it often........
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 08, 2005 at 03:58 AM


    You never know when it's tome to go. As ole Garth Brooks said.
    "I hope the last love that I gave her will be enough to last"................
    My Golden Rule.
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 08, 2005 at 03:16 AM


    OMG blonde!...this has just pulled a few too many heartstrings...I know you don't know me from a million other faces out there,but my heart is with both your friend for her great loss and to you for feeling her pain...I'm with bikeman...thanx for the reminder of what really matters...peace and hugs from the west coast
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 08, 2005 at 02:59 AM


    You're right Doc! My prayers are with her, and everyone else that this man touched in his life! Blondie, I couldn't agree more about the "I love you" part! I'm one of those that say it and say it often...amd that's something that I've been told I overkill on...I'm sorry, but I know we aren't promised tomorrow!

    God be with your friend and you...she's gonna need all your strenght!
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 07, 2005 at 11:27 PM



    blondeharleygirl write:
    All, I know it is a rare moment when you find me serious, but I need reflect for a moment on how so many of us get so caught up on the bickering little details and let things that are really minor in the big scheme of things tear lives apart and destroy relationships.
    My best friend of 15 years called me tonight, and as much as she tried, she could not fake the sound in her voice.
    Years ago, like so many of us, she fled an extremely abusive relationship, and I do mean abusive, she was literally taken underground and was hid for two years until her exhusband was shot and killed by his next girlfriend for abusing her. She raised her only child alone and built a successful life, put herself thru college and became a nurse, and focused on her son and never dated. Her son is my son's age, that's how we met, he's 22. She finally decided, at about the same time I started dating you-know-who, that she would try again, and she was re-introduced and fell in love with one of the men who helped put her underground years ago. They spent the past few months dating and weekend before last, June 26th, he asked her to marry him. She accepted and was elated. He was riding his motorcycle home from Tulsa to Ardmore (about 3 1/2 hrs) on June 27th and was rear-ended by an 18 wheeler truck going 90 mph; the driver of the truck was high and never saw him; "Peanut's" motorcycle went under the truck and he was drug 300 yards; These two people spent the last 20 years apart, in the past 3 months found love again, and it was short lived. Remember to tell those you love that you do so, and bury the hatchet over things that really don't matter. And to all of you here, my friends..thanks for being my support system, and I love you for it.


    That is a tragedy!! But you bring up a valid point that is always worth being reminded about!!

    Even not knowing these people, I feel her pain and was moved to tears by what you wrote. Tell your friend she will be in my prayers, as I'm sure she will be in everyones prayers on BK
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 07, 2005 at 11:24 PM


    I am so sorry to hear about your friend and my thoughts and prayers are with her and you as well. Be a good friend to her now she really needs you. If you need anything or just someone to talk with contact me. Take care and God Bless