FYI Today's Score The 6 Don'ts of Online Dating for the Men open for discussion Relationship

  • View author's info Posted on Nov 06, 2005 at 05:08 AM


    this was emaled to me this am---thought i'd share--i did have a good laugh when i read these


    The 6 Don'ts of Online Dating
    By Jack Conway


    In previous articles on Internet dating, I outlined what you should
    do when writing your
    personal ad, how to exchange e-males with a woman who has replied to
    your ad, how to
    conduct an effective IM (Instant Messaging) conversation and what to
    do to land a first
    date.

    In this article, I'm shifting gears. I'm going to tell you about the
    Six Don'ts of
    Internet dating.

    These are things you should never do when it comes to picking up
    women online, regardless
    of how much coffee you drank.

    1- When conversing through e-male, don't write your life story

    Nothing turns off a woman more than a man who can't shut up. If you
    don't believe me, the
    next time you're corresponding with a woman you've met online, write
    a one-page e-male
    about what you like to do on weekends, and see what kind of response
    you get. Nine times
    out of 10, a woman won't even reply to you. She'll simply delete
    your e-male and move on
    to the next guy. Why is that?

    First, women usually perceive
    a long-winded man as needy.
    And most women want a
    challenge.

    Needy men aren't challenging.

    Second, quite frankly, women want to do all of
    the talking. And they want you to listen.

    What to do:
    Keep all your e-male replies short
    (i.e. no longer than three sentences). The
    first two sentences should be used for answering a question (or
    questions) she may have
    asked, and the last sentence should be reserved for asking her a
    question. Remember:
    Questions keep the 'dialogue' moving, and give her the sense that
    you are thoughtful and
    interested.

    2- Don't initiate $exual talk

    Many women think men have nothing but $ex on brain. Though there is
    some truth to this
    statement, you'll get further in the game by not hinting at or
    talking about $ex.

    Besides, in this politically correct world, who wants to take the
    chance of offending
    women with $ex talk, especially if you don't know them well?

    What to do:
    Just don't do it.

    In fact, you'd be surprised by how many women will actually
    initiate a conversation about $ex.

    When a woman initiates talk about $ex,
    consider that a
    green light,
    though I suggest that
    your comments be very well thought out.
    Besides, if
    you're looking for
    aggressive $exual dialogue with a woman,
    there are plenty of 'adult'
    oriented personal sites that cater to that.

    3- Don't lie

    It's a known fact that a significant percentage of men and women lie
    about themselves,
    whether it's about marital status, income, education level or
    occupation, when it comes
    to creating an online profile of themselves.

    I'm a true believer that the lies will catch up with you -- sooner
    rather than later. And
    if you find a woman who is really interested in you, and you've lied
    to her, it's just a
    matter of time before she finds out the truth.

    What to do: If you think your income is too low, or if your
    occupation isn't exactly
    exciting, simply 'up-sell' other qualities about yourself. Focus on
    the good instead.
    Never lie to impress a woman. Ever.

    4- Don't send too many e-male or IM messages

    Again, you don't want to appear needy.

    One way to appear needy
    is by sending a woman
    three or four e-male or IM messages a day.


    Of course, if the e-male or IM conversation is moving along at
    breakneck speed and is
    interesting and stimulating, then by all means, have a full-fledged
    dialogue with her. In
    other words, don't hold back. You may even try to close the deal
    right there and ask her
    out on a date.

    But if you're in the early stages where you're still in the process
    of getting to know
    each other, then I suggest keeping your interactions to a minimum.

    What to do:
    I know it's difficult,
    especially if the woman is hot,
    but you have to be
    disciplined.

    Limit yourself to two e-males per day,
    and keep streaming IM conversations
    to no longer than 15 minutes.
    If the dialogue exceeds this time,
    then excuse yourself and
    end the conversation,
    saying that you have some things to take care of --
    and don't go
    into detail about it.

    By doing this,
    you'll remain mysterious,
    something that turns most women on.

    5- Don't spread yourself too thin

    One of the better problems
    to have with Internet dating is corresponding with too many
    women.

    Yeah, I know exactly what you're thinking:

    What man doesn't want to be chased by dozens
    of beautiful women?
    But truth be told, having
    an effective personal ad that generates a
    lot of responses can backfire on you if you're not careful.

    For instance, in the past month,
    I've received 56 responses to my personal ad.
    That's a
    ton of women to e-male.
    In fact, it's too many. Way too many.

    If you try to reply to every single woman
    who responds to your ad, you'll soon find
    yourself spending your days writing e-male.
    More importantly, you'll start forgetting
    what you've said and to whom.

    I can't tell you how many times I've been embarrassed because I
    asked a woman the same
    question four or five times.

    What to do: Though I encourage you to be polite, you may find
    yourself physically unable
    to reply to every woman who has responded to your ad. In fact, I
    recommend that you don't
    reply to every woman who responds to your personal ad.

    Instead, if you're getting dozens of responses each week, only reply
    to the women you
    wish to pursue further. Furthermore, if these leads don't work out
    for you, then you can
    always go back to the other women you didn't reply to originally.

    6- Don't appear too eager to go on a date

    Unless a woman immediately
    asks to meet you (and some will),
    a rule of thumb about asking
    a woman for a date is to wait
    at least a week after the initial
    contact before asking her
    out.

    If you ask her out too soon,
    when she's not ready and comfortable,
    she'll disappear.

    If you wait, one of the things
    that will go through her mind is,
    why isn't this guy
    asking me out?

    When that happens,
    you'll instantly become more attractive to her.

    What to do:
    Let her make the first move.
    If she's the kind of woman who wants to be
    pursued,
    she might be a high maintenance princess,
    and that's the last thing you want to
    deal with.

    Play it safe, play it cool

    Now, we're all a bunch of macho men,
    but you can never be too safe.
    The last thing you
    want is to be involved in a real-life fatal attraction.

    So in addition to these six 'don'ts,'
    I also advise against handing out your telephone
    number or your address.
    Take your time to get to
    know the woman before revealing your
    personal information.

    Now go score!

    Jack Conway
  • 26Comments

  • View author's info Posted on Nov 17, 2005 at 10:11 AM


    MIG_64 write:
    the bed is destroyed! Kitchen table broke! Couch flattened! Shower curtain tore down! Be covered with "dear rubs"! Hahahahahaa! Over & out!


    I told you not to let Doc visit until you got everything reinforced. They never listen (shaking head). Jeesh. Oh well, guess you'll be spending the weekend at American Furniture Warehouse, huh?
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 16, 2005 at 06:10 PM


    MIG_64 write:
    Thanks Dave...your comment made my heart happy. There aint nothing wrong with You, either. Love is in the Eyes of the Beholder. One of these days...I hope to have that Special Someone looking at Me, I hope the same for You...ahem, but a Special Lady looking at You with Eyes of Love!

    Thank You also. Your Special Someone will indeed be a very lucky man.

    I joke about the way I look but I'm very happy with who and what I am. If you can't laugh at youself something is wrong.

    I'm a natural born smart azz making people laugh is very rewarding. If I put a smile on your face it makes me happy.

    Now if I just had a little less of the azz part. lol

  • View author's info Posted on Nov 15, 2005 at 01:32 PM


    Thanks Dave...your comment made my heart happy. There aint nothing wrong with You, either. Love is in the Eyes of the Beholder. One of these days...I hope to have that Special Someone looking at Me, I hope the same for You...ahem, but a Special Lady looking at You with Eyes of Love!
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 13, 2005 at 05:33 PM


    Thanx h4h.....glad you've found someone who makes you smile...
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 13, 2005 at 01:06 PM


    MIG_64

    You really want to see ugly just look at the picture next to this post. I've got it sewed up. You're a very pretty lady.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 10, 2005 at 10:36 AM


    BigDaddyDOC write:

    Hey Peg!! So am I mysterious or just nuckin futs???

    WHERE ARE MY MEDS???????


    Doc--you are a sweetie and think with your heart 1st--a good thing but it allows you to get hurt more often

    the trick it to balance someone's actions and words and look at them realistically--not with the blinders we sometimes put on when "in love"

    and i think i may have some of your meds here!!!!!!
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 10, 2005 at 10:05 AM


    seeme1st write:

    yes indeed---i think alot of us have been with the needy and realize we just can't fix them--they need to fix themselves in order to truely be in a healthy relationship

    Hey Peg!! So am I mysterious or just nuckin futs???

    WHERE ARE MY MEDS???????
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 10, 2005 at 06:07 AM


    DoubleDelight write:
    Keep all your e-male replies short
    (i.e. no longer than three sentences).
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Boy, I sure don't agree with that. If a man takes the time to write me a longer and more interesting note, I am impressed.
    It also reveals a lot about the person. The point is: I want to get to know them! I believe in moving slowly in a physical sense. However, I want to get to know a man faster than 3-6 lines a day! I like to talk on the p*hone shortly after feeling a genuine interest. The timber of a person's voice is very important to me.
    We all have needs. That's human nature. The question is: Can we meet theirs and can they meet ours in a romantic relationship? That takes a lot of talking!
    I liked the part about not being able to answer all the e-males* and if you have a good profile, you will get a lot of email it is impossible to answer.
    Sexx talk: Fogggetaboutit! It's like having the bumper sticker on your car that has been altered to say: "In and Out Urge."
    Redundant, unneccessary (sp) and tacky.
    P.s. Really happy for Roxie and Dynamal.
    Yabadabadoo!
    DD


    i know DD i laughed when i got it

    i also want to hear the way you talk about your ex--nasty means you haven't gotten over it not that you have to put her on a pedastil(sp) but at least civil
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 10, 2005 at 04:35 AM


    Thanks DD...He's a wonderful man
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 09, 2005 at 06:07 AM


    Official MIG warning...I feel sorry for my future Love! Cause i'm going to WEAR him OUt! Or he may be like me...saving up his love & attention...we will COMBUST...together!!!!! Ooooooh, did just say that?!?! Incoming! Incoming! LOL! Upon further investigation...the bed is destroyed! Kitchen table broke! Couch flattened! Shower curtain tore down! Be covered with "dear rubs"! Hahahahahaa! Over & out!
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 09, 2005 at 05:58 AM


    Keep all your e-male replies short
    (i.e. no longer than three sentences).
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Boy, I sure don't agree with that. If a man takes the time to write me a longer and more interesting note, I am impressed.
    It also reveals a lot about the person. The point is: I want to get to know them! I believe in moving slowly in a physical sense. However, I want to get to know a man faster than 3-6 lines a day! I like to talk on the p*hone shortly after feeling a genuine interest. The timber of a person's voice is very important to me.
    We all have needs. That's human nature. The question is: Can we meet theirs and can they meet ours in a romantic relationship? That takes a lot of talking!
    I liked the part about not being able to answer all the e-males* and if you have a good profile, you will get a lot of email it is impossible to answer.
    Sexx talk: Fogggetaboutit! It's like having the bumper sticker on your car that has been altered to say: "In and Out Urge."
    Redundant, unneccessary (sp) and tacky.
    P.s. Really happy for Roxie and Dynamal.
    Yabadabadoo!
    DD
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 09, 2005 at 05:01 AM


    MIG_64 write:
    Hey...what can I say...I appreciate your positive feedback, 'stillme'. I took my sons to the movie last nite, "Chicken Little". Hilarious kids movie! The Ugly Duckling was co-starring. I have to say...I'm evolving quite nicely...into the Swan. Thanks again...M


    MIG we all have been doing that--like the butterfly emerging out of a cacoon--you go g/f----some of our past relationships have hindered us in being the best that we can be!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 09, 2005 at 04:18 AM


    Mig...thank you. I think the heavens have smiled upon us
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 08, 2005 at 03:18 AM


    Ooooooh, that is soooo sweet....the Best of Love & Happiness to You, Dyna & Roxie! Awwww, how cool! (-;
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 07, 2005 at 05:10 PM


    Ok...I've got a big mug of Chai Tea, a comfy chair and I'm ready to read...type away.....
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 07, 2005 at 02:36 PM


    Hey...what can I say...I appreciate your positive feedback, 'stillme'. I took my sons to the movie last nite, "Chicken Little". Hilarious kids movie! The Ugly Duckling was co-starring. I have to say...I'm evolving quite nicely...into the Swan. Thanks again...M
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 07, 2005 at 08:04 AM


    stillme67 write:

    also could be said to be true for men. i personally don't want a needy woman. a strong woman, a compliment to a relationship, my equal, my partner, that's what i'm looking for.


    yes indeed---i think alot of us have been with the needy and realize we just can't fix them--they need to fix themselves in order to truely be in a healthy relationship
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 07, 2005 at 06:03 AM


    MIG_64 write:

    .... Wasted 21 yr in a marriage only to find out he wants a he. Oh, I'm fine now, yeah, but have personal issues...I'm trying to get rid of the ugly duckling mentality...evolve to a swan.


    oh chit! him wanting a him had nothing to do with you. so u can't take the blame for that. now i've seen ugly and you ain't it. so get busy livin', plenty of good peeps on here to meet.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 07, 2005 at 05:22 AM


    wait...wait..I think I'm getting this

    The guy that wrote the rules was emailing 56 women at once...phew. So if there is a limit of 2 emails per day... and I am only emailing 1 WOMAN... hmmmm that's 112 emails per day...I better get caught up...
    Babe...put on your reading glasses and grab a cup of tea...this is going to take awhile..