BET YA THOUGHT THIS OLD HAGNALENA MAGNA HAD DIED ON YA DIDN;T YA ...WELL GUESS AGAIN ,I BEEN BUSY AS A ONE LEGGED GRASSHOPPER AT A CATFISH REVIVAL SOOOOOOOOO GUESS WHOS' BACK ? NOW DON;T GET ALL CHOKED UP ,I AINT DOING NO CPR ON THIS HERE PUTER BEEN THERE DONE THAT LOL
ooopppsssiiiee...some one is playing with me head..i am the only paddy in town now there are two.what shall we do? look see fer youself! impersonating a paddy well that just ain;t right.TTT please help me girls ya recon it is some feller trying to get me dates scured off? mercy what about that mean ol man?think he is in on it? if you know any info please help..signed paddywaddy not paddypoo...(sssooobbbb)
HI GUYS..I DIRTIED MY BRITCHES..DIDN;T MEAN TO ..BUT WAS WAITING IN LINE AT DIXIE DINER AND RUB DOWN OUT ON 62 NEAR UNCLE FESTUS;S CHIKEN AND CHOKE..THOUGHT I WOULD DROP IN AND SEE IF ANY OF YOU FELLERS HAS A WARSH RAG,WIPEY OR MAYBE SOME OF THAT THERE TOULET PAPER.NAW THAT STUFF IS STILL STUCK ON FROM CHRISTMAS.WELL DON;T EVERYBODY GET UP AT THE SAME TIME..I CAN SET A SPELL...MAN I SURE DO SMELL RIPE..
HI GUYS I AM BEAT ,EVERY SINCE I HAD MY HEARTY TACK ,CAN;T SEEM TO GET MY GET UP TO GET UP N GO ANY SUGGESTIONS? MIRACLE MEDICINE MEN HERE? TLC? BUT RUB? WD40?HELP!!!!!!!!!!! BY THE WAY I STILL LUB YA GUYS,MISS YA ,I AM WORKING THO SO IT ISN;T LIKE I DIED OR NUTTIN.SO DON;T EVEN THINK ABOUT REPLACING ME !!!
PADDYWADDY HAD A LITTLE ONE,SCARED ME TO PIECES,PLEASE NO MORE ELEPHANTS SETTING BENEATH MY BOSSUM,YEP I AM OK WELL MAYBE NOT OK BUT I AM ALIVE,AND GETTING BETTER ALL THE TIME ..LOVE AND MISS YA ..IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT SAY A PRAYER FOR ME ..THANKS GUYS GOD BLESS YOU ALL ...PATTY
There was a midget down in Texas who complained to his buddy that his testicles ached almost all the time. As he was always complaining about his problem, his friend finally suggested that he go to a doctor to see what could be done to relieve the problem. The midget took his advice and went to the doctor and told him what the problem was.
The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor put him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doc put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough-the usual method to check for a hernia. "Aha!" the doc and putting his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again. "Aha!" said the doctor and reached for his surgical scissors. Snip, snip, snip, snip on the right side then snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip on the left side.
The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told the midget to get dressed and see if they still ached.
The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around the doc's office and discovered his testicles were no longer aching. "Gee, what did you do, Doc?" he asked.
The doc replied, "I cut two inches off the tops of your cowboy boots."
AS WE GET TO THE END OF YET ANOTHER CHANCE, TO BE WONDERFUL,REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE ,SO GO FORTH ,INTO 2008,BE THE BEST YOU CAN BE, LOVE AS THO THERE ARE NO BROKEN HEARTS,AND TREAT EVERYONE THAT YOU CARE FOR, LIKE TODAY IS ALL YOU HAVE TO GIVE THEM ,MAY GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU ...PATTY
HAPPY NEW YEAR FRIENDS
Would you give up a nite life,a life syle,a couple of your no good friends,the bottle grass,hoeing,etc. if you felt like she /he was the right one,the one you had waited for all your life?have you given up ?would you?could you ?and how much is enough ?
How to Tell if You're a Grinch
1. You reuse last year's Christmas cards and send them out under your own name.
2. You steal light bulbs from you neighbor's outdoor display to replenish your
own supply. (5 points, 10 if neighbor's whole light sets or lighted Santa goes
3. You have dressed a dog or cat as Santa Claus, elf helper, or reindeer. (10
points for each; if you dressed an endangered species, 5 extra points)
4. You put out last year's stale candy canes for children. (1 point for each
piece of sticky candy). If you put out a chocolate or marzipan Santa also, add
5. You enclose a shoddy and inferior gift from Target, Walmart, or K-Mart in a
Bloomingdale's or other prestige box to impress your friends. (5 points for
6. You make collect long distance phone calls to your family on Christmas day.
(5 points, 10 if from a cell phone), claiming you are stuck in a phone booth.
7. At the office Christmas party, you horde huge stockpiles of goodies for
later consumption at home. (5 points; 15 points if you use this stuff for your
8. You steal the wreath from a parked car to use on your own [Southern
California only, others ignore]. (5 points -- nobody but Angelenos are dumb
enough to dress a car)
9. After an invitation to a friend's house, you bring a commercially produced
fruitcake and try to pass it off as home made. (5 points; 15 points if the
fruitcake is from last year).
10. Any stealing from the Toys-for-Tots collection bins is a definite no-no.
Evaluate your score on the "Grinch Scale" from 20 to 100.
20-30: You are just a cheeseball.
30-50: You are an apprentice in Yuletide larceny and are probably wanted by
the police for overdue parking tickets.
50-100: Grinch, move over. The Meyer Lansky of Christmas crime has arrived.
SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do You Hear What I Hear?
MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: We Three Kings Disoriented Are
DEMENTIA: I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas
NARCISSISTIC: Hark, the Herald Angels Sing About Me
MANIC: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and . . .
PARANOID: Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Me
PERSONALITY DISORDER: You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why
DEPRESSION: Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All Is Flat, All Is Lonely
OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER: Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock
PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PERSONALITY: On The First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me (and then took it all away)
BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER: Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire.
CHRISTMAS IS NEAR,ALL IS AGLOW,FIREPLACE IS BURNING,YARD FULL OF SNOW.INSIDE MY ROOM I HUDDLE WITH FEAR,CAUSE DADDY IS DRUNK,AND NO ONE WILL HEAR.NO ONE ELSE CAN TELL HIM IT;S WRONG,TO ABUSE HIS DAUGHTER,THE WHOLE NITE LONG.TIME AFTER TIME ,I;VE TRIED TO TELL ,GRANDPA,GRANDMA,AND MY COUSIN NELL.NO ONE BELIEVES ME NO ,THEY LAUGH WHEN I CRY,FOR IN THEIR MINDS,IV;E A STORY TO TELL.THE PARTY FOR CHRISTMAS ,IS TWO DAYS AWAY,AS I HIT THE FLOOR ,AND TRY HARDER TO PRAY.AND NOBODY HEARS ME ,NO BODY SEES A BROKEN LITTLE GIRL,AT A QUARTER TIL THREE.IN THE FRONT ROOM THEY LAUGH ,FOR THEY ARE SNORTING AND HIGHER THAN A KITE,AS I TURN TO TEDDY AND TELL HIM GOOD NITE.IHAVE PRETTY PAPER ,MY TEACHER GAVE ME,TO WRAP MOMMA;S PRESENT,FROM BABY JOHNNY ,SAM ,SISSY, AND ME.PRETTY PAPER,PRETTY RIBBON,I THINK AS I CRY.TELL DADDY TO GO AWAY,AS MY HOPE,AGAIN DIES..
Anger is a condition in which
The tongue works faster than the mind . You can't change the past,
but you can ruin the present
By worrying over the future !
Love...and you shall be loved.
God always gives His best to those
who leave the choice with Him.
All people smile in the same language.
Everyone needs to be loved....
especially when they do not deserve it.
The real measure of a man's wealth
is what he has invested in eternity.
Laughter is God's sunshine.
Everyone has beauty
but not everyone sees it.
It's important for parents to live
the same things they teach.
Thank God for what you have,
TRUST GOD for what you need.
If you fill your heart with regrets of yesterday
and the worries of tomorrow,
you have no today to be thankful for.
Man looks at outward appearance
but the Lord looks within.
The choice you make today
will usually affect tomorrow.
Take time to laugh, for it is
the music of the soul.
Patience is the ability to idle your motor
when you feel like stripping your gears.
Love is strengthened by working
through conflicts together.
Harsh words break no bones
but they do break hearts.
To get out of a difficulty,
one usually must go through it.
We take for granted the things
that we should be giving thanks for.
Love is the only thing that can be divided without being diminished.
Happiness is enhanced by others
but does not depend upon others.
For every minute you are angry with someone,
you lose 60 seconds of happiness
that you can never get back.
Do what you can, for who you can,
with what you have, and where you are.
HAVE A NICE DAY .. YOU ARE DEEPLY LOVED.
ANY ONE EVER HAVE A FRIEND ,WHO HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE THRU THICK AND THIN? HAS BROUGHT SUCH A RAY OF SUNSHINE TO YOUR WORLD? A PERSON ,THAT IF THEY WERE GONE,WOULD CAUSE A GREAT DARKNESS TO ENVELOPE YOUR VERY BEING? A FRIEND ,MATE, RELATIVE,ANYONE,..... EVER REALLY TOUCH YOU?
MINE IS MY DEAR FRIEND RHONDA.I HAVE KNOWN HER SINCE I WAS 10,ALWAYS THE WIND BENEATH MY WINGS,ALWAYS THERE TO HEAR ME OUT,ALWAYS THERE EVEN WHEN I DON;T WANT TO HEAR WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY,A PERSON WHO IS STILL THERE WHEN OTHERS HAVE RUN OUT.
WANTING TO TAKE A MINUTE TO SAY I LUB YA AND HAVE A BLESSED THANKSGIVING TO ALL .
REMEMBER SOMEONE CARES ABOUT YOU AND YOURS
WRITE AND TELL US WHAT YOU ARE THANKFUL FRO IF YOU WILL LOVE PATTY
I AM SO THANKFUL FOR GOD;S SAVING GRACE LORRIE, MATTHEW, KAINEN,MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS
IF YOUR PANTS ARE STAINED WITH BLOOD IS IT OK FOR A STRANGER (MALE OR FEMALE ) TO TELL YOU? WHAT ABOUT IF A MAN;S FLY IS DOWN? A BURGER BIG AS TX. IN YOUR NOSE? FOOD PARTICAL IN A MUSTACHE? WHERE DO WE DRAW THE LINE?WOULD YOU LIKE SOMEONE TO TELL YOU ?YES OR NO
I DON;T WEAR A RED HAT ,THE COLOR ISN;T RIGHT ,BUT I AM NOW A FAT ASS ,A BUT LOVERS DELIGHT.
IF YOU SEE ME ROUND THE BEND TELL YOU WHAT I'LL DO ,BEND RIGHT OVER IN THE MID OF DAY AND HAVE A MOON FOR YOU..HAPPY MOONING ......BY THE WAY MY CHEEKS ARE LILLY WHITE , SO I WILL PUT POLKA DOTS ON EM WITH A BINGO MARKER JUST FOR YOU ..hot pink purple yellow that is if demoman gets the markers to us lol
OK GUYS AND GIRLS HERE GOES...LOL A MAN FRIEND OF MINE THINKS MASTRBAISHUUUNNNN IS A SIN AGAINST GOD;S WILL ,I TALKED TO HIM BUT I GUESS ONE OF US IS WARPED NOT ME OF COURSE LOL SHED SOME LITE ON THIS ,PRO AND CON I REALIZE NO ONE TALKS ABOUT SOME THINGS ,BUT WE ARE AMONG FRIENDS THIS PERSON IS MISERABLE WITH HIS GUILT...WE ARE JUST FRIENDS BY THE WAY,SO I CAN TELL HIM WHATEVER I WANT...NOT LIKE A BOYFRIEND WHO YAKS BACK SORRY BOYS HAD TO SLING THAT ONE AT YA TO KEEP YA ALIVE LOL