So, me and my friend Laurie were goofing off with the computer after a few margaritas and we decided to check out a online dating site (not THIS place) for shits and giggles.. We were looking to see how many funny or unique ads we could find. Some are funny and some are creepy!
Here are some of the highlights that we found in titles and profiles:
"I live in an apartment that has a view of the ally. Garbage goes out on Tuesday and I never see the landlord only if it snows. He shovels the walk and ally. I dont have any pets or anything that makes alot of noise.
I work hard and stay home and watch TV and get drunk and call all my friends and tell them I love them and that I will fly out to see them. I drink vodka it does what I ask it to do.
I would like some noise. I would like to get to know you. I am very shy and lonely. I have a dark side that is cold and calculating. I will wait for your response dont take a long time.
?I always tell the truth,even when I lie?
?nice gay with edge?
?Never fry bacon naked!?
?Forget friends, i want sex only.....?
?I fear Glamour Photos?
"Here's to you, Mr. Single Guy. You thought you would meet a nice girl in a bar or club. Brilliant! You thought you would meet new girls to date through people you know who are married. Nice try! You thought you would move back to Peoria after 8 years and pick back up where you left off. What were you thinking, Mr. Single Guy? So, here's to you, Mr. Single, not finding any nice women-to-date single guy,
?lets go rob some picnic baskets?
?Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner?
"I was born the son of a poor sharecropper. We'd eat crawdads. When we didn't have crawdads we'd eat rock soup. When we didn't have rock soup we'd eat sand."
?May I help you find someone??
?i want what most men want........?
?Loyal as a dog; not quite as cute?
"i am seeking a dominant Woman who knows what i mean! Chastity and being a keyholder very important as well as taking control and keeping control!! At Your feet and under Your strict, merciless control i seek! Put me where i belong and confine me mercilessly and without remorse!"
Make Possums Scream!
?When Life gives you Lemons.......? .....Add Vodka and Chill!
?I was only kidding about my height?
Can you find the man's head in this picture within 3 seconds?
According to medical experiments:
If you can find the Man?s Head within 3 seconds, your right brain is more developed than normal people.
If you can find the Man?s Head within 1 minute, your right brain is developed normally.
If you can find the Man?s Head within 1-3 minutes, your right brain is slow in reacting, you should eat more meat protein.
If you can find the Man?s Head in 3 minutes or more, your right brain is a disaster? extremely slow in reacting, and Yes, there really is a man in there ..
From my local paper. perhaps he thought it was the TP Tavern?
Man arrested in toilet again
SYCAMORE TWP. -- Just six days after a bike cop heard Gil Duff snoring inside a port-a-potty and found the 45-year-old snoozing on the john - pants up, a beer by his side - Duff was once again back on the toilet.
Police arrested Duff at 3:45 a.m. Monday inside a portable toilet in Sycamore Township's Bechtold Park, the same place they found him on April 22.
According to the arrest report, Duff was "found passed out and extremely intoxicated." The report noted that Duff was been warned "countless times" not to be drunk in the park.
Duff's April 22 arrest report stated that it was the third time he'd been seen passed out and intoxicated in public. Duff was jailed on a charge of disorderly conduct while intoxicated.
Okay, I don't want to drag anybody down, but this is VERY important. Anyone who has a teenager in their life should read this and take the time to talk to them about it.
Let's start with a post I made on a blog from back in the fall:
"My son's best friend Jesse hung himself back in April...he was 17 and 2 months from graduation. He had gotten in a bit of trouble and saw no way out, though it really wasn't major trouble, he had just been kicked out of the Catholic high school. What a waste... and I still see this kids' parents, and let me tell you, his strong firefighter dad has aged 10 years in these few short months. His mother suffers from depression and blamed herself, since she is the one who found him hanging in the basement. The worst part about this kids' death is the fact that among his peers, he has been given a cult like saint status."
Now I get this email from my son at college today:
"Mom,I doubt the news has made it your way yet, but I got a phone call last night that I never want to get again. Apparently a guy I went to high school with Evan(he was the kid at Kairos who got really pissed off b/c his parents weren't there) hung himself last night. I got few different calls, but it was even worse calling people who didn't know. Depending on when the funeral is I might be home for a day or two. I'm doing alright(I wasn't as close with him as I was with Jesse but it brings back those feelings), I just really don't want to talk. So if I don't answer my phone don't take it personal. I just need a day or two to accept what's going on."
Both these boys hung themselves. I don't know the detail of Evan's death yet, but the fact is teen suicide has been running rampant in the last few years. I became concerned about my son, who is prone to depression, after Jesse's death, he had his car window painted with Jessee RIP, he still has Jesse's obituary hung on his wall, and the worst thing of all, when I checked his myspace page I saw that under "heroes" he had listed Jesse. This was a red flag to me, and we have spent much time talking about this issue.
Please, please, if there is a teen in your life take the time to sit down and talk to them about teen suicide. Get them help if needed. My son has lost two friends in 12 months to hanging, there have been many other reports in the local papers of teen suicides.
Here was my reply to my son, just to let him know I was behind him and that he was loved:
I understand your being upset about Evan. I remember Evan's tirade at the Kairos
assembly, it almost made me cry and want to find his parents and hunt them down
and kick their asses for not being there on one of the biggest days of his
school life. Being the only kid whose family did not show up must have been like
a kick in the gut to him, not to mention embarrassing.
Evan was a very troubled boy, as you know, he needed help very badly. Grieve
however you must, but also be strong enough not to romanticize Evan and Jesse's
deaths. There is a tendency for young people to do this, but that's just fucked
up. THEY ARE NOT HEROES!
You are welcome to come home for the funeral, and I will gladly give you the
money to do so. I will also hug and you and kiss you when you get here and tell
you just how much you mean to me.I do want you to know as I've said before, you
are depression prone yourself. If you see it coming get help, call me, do
whatever it takes to protect yourself. There is no shame in that.
The shame is in 2 boys who had their whole lives in front of them selfishly
taking those lives, and leaving their parents with questions that can never be
answered. You know I love you, and can forgive you for most anything, but that I
would never forgive you for. You are my heart and soul, and I just want you to
know that. With you gone I would have no life left in me. You have a mamma who loves
you very much and would do anything for you.
Just keep in touch and let me know you're handling this okay. I'd feel better if
you came home for a few days. We don't have to talk, you can just sit in your
room and grieve, and eat non-cafeteria food.. :>)
Any other thoughts on why our teens are doing this to themselves?
I thought some of you would like to know spring has begun in SW Ohio. The gnomes and fairies are slowly coming out of hiding and tending to the flowers.
It's rainy here today, so enjoy some spring pictures (and please don't step on any fairies or gnomes while on your tour, they squish easily)
Just a bit of a need to vent today, after having the same old thing happen all week long.***sighh***
I landed a very good contract building cedar swing sets and playhouses for a client vendor in Walmart for Walmart to use as their display pieces. The pay is very good and I hired my helpers and scheduled my stores.
So how come when I show up lugging my tool boxes and helpers, and introduce myself to management I get asked, "where's the builder"? or they start talking to my male helper automatically to ask questions, instead of me? I am the one who called them and set it up right?
Even my hottie asked me when I scheduled his store, "who's coming to build it"? Uh duh, that would be me and my helper...he seemed totally flabbergasted that I would be able to do such a thing, and man, he of all people should know better!
Today I am filling out some required paperwork while my helper is sorting lumber. The manager comes up and says "guess you're glad that you don't have to build this thing huh"? I loved the expression on his face when he came back later and saw that my male helper was only 50% done with the simple platform, while I was 75% done building a playhouse that included many, many, many more pieces and included a bench, stools, toybox, etc to boot.
Then there was the maintenance guy who came over while we were chilling and taking a break. He looked at the tools spread out and said to my helper, "Man, you've got some nice tools there". My helper quickly informed him that the only tool he brought was a ratchet, and that the "cool" tools
belonged to "the boss". The guy then asked if "the boss" was on break too. My helper pointed over at me and said, "yeah, she's right there". Priceless look on the dudes face.
Then there is the matter of hiring helpers. So many I've interviewed seem less than interested when they find out they will be helping ME, not some guy. I always tell them if they have doubts to just do one build with me and then make up their mind. I have never had a helper not return, and most say I am one of the quickest, most competent, and most fun bosses they have ever worked with. Plus every new helper gets bought lunch or a beer after every job.
I don't get it...because I have boobs and wear make up and perfume on jobs it's assumed I can't build? I can build rings around most guys, and faster. I can look at a technical drawing and see it in my head after a quick glance, where some very experienced helpers have to keep flipping through the instructions to see how pieces fit.
I also don't understand why when I'm in the same stores doing stuff like fixing their interactive CD boxes, and programming GPS units, or wiring up their IPod cases, they don't think nothing of it, but just because it involves wood and power tools, it is assumed that I am a pseudo helper, like I am just there to bring the tools in and stand around.
Okay, Cinny is done ranting, and will instead think of all the money she is making. ;>)
Being the weirdo that I am, I am one of those folks that like to stop in cheesy, weird places when out on rides. You know, old Americana type of places to see the world's largest ball of string, mystery spots, Grizzly Adams' grave, etc etc.
You can find a list of some of these places on RoadsideAmerica (you add the you know what after that). Do any of you have some places like that to share, so we can check them out for kicks while on the road?
Has anyone else living above the Mason Dixon line noticed that folks have just been plain bitchy and cantankerous lately? I think I have it figured out... it's a chronic case of biker PMS....
PARKED MOTORCYCLE SYNDROME
The weather is breaking, so get on your bikes and ride! Please do your part to help eradicate Parked Motorcycle Syndrome.
This public service message has been brought to you by Cinnamon, BK union president, (cause Treasure elected me as such) ;>)
I know this blog has probably been done before, but I thought it would be fun to do again, especially since we have some new folks on here. Please do not post names if the date involved anybody from BK, in order to protect their privacy.
So let's hear your stories! We can even vote to see who has the worst story.
Since not many new blogs have been posted today, I thought I'd share with you all something I thought about the other day after reading the blog on what's a biker...
I have decided the Amish must be some of the original bikers, even if it is in spirit only, since they don't ride motorcycles or drive cars. Many of their core beliefs mirror that of what bikers are supposed to be.
For those that don't know, I was raised in a part of Ohio that has a large Amish community. We were not Amish, but many of our neighbors were. The place was called Tranquility, how idyllic sounding is that?
Brotherhood is a big deal to the Amish, just like bikers. While protective of their community, and wary of outsiders, once you have proven trustworthy, the Amish welcome you with open arms. You will never be homeless, hungry, or lacking in social get togethers in an Amish community.
When heavy snow caused a roof collapse on one of the buildings that housed our commercial turkey operation, (this was also the building that contained the hatchery and poults), our Amish neighbors arrived within a short time and brought supplies to fix the roof. The men worked through the day and into the night to repair the roof. The women and children gathered up the new poults and took them back to their own homes to take care of until the hatchery was safe for them again. Mrs. Yoder took some of the tiniest new babies and kept them in her kitchen to assure they'd be warm and safe.
When our other non Amish neighbor, farmer Taylor had a heart attack and had to be hospitalized it was the Amish who came and took care of his stock and cut his tobacco for him. If you've ever cut tobabbco, it is back breaking work. They cut his entire field, while also taking care of their own crops and stock. Money was not exchanged, they simply felt this was the right thing to do.
Live and let live is a concept most wouldn't attribute to the Amish, but it's true. They do not judge people, nor how they live. They feel it is not their job to do so. In most orders you cannot become a member of the church until you are 21 years old. They do this to make sure you are committed to the way of life they live, as it is often a hard life and requires total committment for the communities to work. At about age 16 Amish go through what is called "rum springa", which means "put away the things of a child".. Some young Amish at this point go to the city and live what we would consider a "normal" life. Some dabble in alcohol and other things we don't think of when we think of the Amish. Most young Amisgh do return to their communities and become committed members after this. While the Amish do not condone per se, the things these young people experience on the outside, they understand all too well the need for the young to make their own decisions about joining the community and marrying and starting a family. Thus, live and let live...they always welcome the young back, no questions asked, no matter what they have done on the outside.
Family is the backbone of an Amish community, with large extended families. They take care of their elderly, and every Amish child has many stand in mothers, fathers, aunts and uncles around to correct their misbehavior.
Respect is another Amish value. While you may have to prove you are worthy of it, once you have it, you are guaranteed friends for life. They will respect you, your family, and your life choices with no hesitation, even if they don't agree with it.
Just some random rambling thoughts here to compare how alike in many ways the two groups are. I have many happy memories of the time I spent with these people, and I could only hope to one day to be as kind hearted, respectful, selfless, and humble as they are.
Just to let everybody know that I think I'm outta here.
This place really sucks anymore,with all the bitching and childish behavior. Reminds me why it took me four years to blog here....the same bullshit has been going around the entire four years I have been here...and it's not likely to change, I don't think.
I don't use this site to date, so I see no reason to have to weed through blog after blog of bitterness and hate, just to kill a little time. I'm not that bored.
I think I'll just pop into my kids' rooms instead, where the "he said she said" and "you suck", "I hate you" comments are uttered by those who are at least of age to act that way.
No disrespect to anybody here, but this cyber fighting shit is not for me. Why waste the keystrokes?
I hope all my BK friends keep in touch.
How about some happy news on the blogs? I am so stoked about this...
I'm a high school drop out due to being a professional hooky player and dope smoker in high school. It never bothered me until my kids started getting older. When I'd lecture them about how important school is I'd feel like a big hypocrite. Little teenage comments from my son like, "how would you know,you never even finished school?" cut me like a knife. It bothered me mostly because ever since then if people (in jobs etc) know I'm a drop out they tended to talk down to me like I'm stupid.
It's never been worth explaining to most that I was actually a gifted child, and was promoted ahead a grade in high school.
Well anyway, I had been considering getting my GED for years. However, feel of failure has kept me from completing the task. That's just plain stupid, cause I know I can walk in and pass it...it's my inner self that has the doubts and keeps putting it off.
I decided to try to go for it. Teach gave me web sites that have tutorials and I looked them over a bit, then decided to go to the career center here and take the practice test. I aced it all except the math, but I still passed with a good score!!
Now I'm going to schedule the real test,wish me luck!After 24 years, Cinny will be a graduate of the class of 2008!
(Teach you didn't really think I would tell you I was taking the practice test in advance, did you? Never, I might have failed... LOL)
Top 8 Morons of 2007
1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
2.WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland , CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, 'Please come out and give yourself up.'
3.WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka , Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: 'Give me all your money or I'll shoot', the man shouted, 'that's not what I said!'.
6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the phone: 'My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart'. 'Is this her first child?' the doctor asked. 'No!' the man shouted, 'This is her husband!'
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto , CA , Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!
8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!
The Pastor's Ass
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the
race again, and it won again.
The local paper read:
PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered
the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day, the local paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey.
The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The bishop fainted.
He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so
she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the bishop, so he Ordered the nun to buy back
the donkey and Lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE .
The bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is:
Being Concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery even shorten your life.
So be yourself and enjoy life.