If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve, then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is two way street.
You need time to heal between relationships... there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... look for someone complimentary...not supplementary. Dating is fun... even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes... when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother's house.
Never co-sign for a man.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other women and men (just so they know)...you'll make someone smile, another rethink her/his choices, and another woman prepare, and a man aware.
I posted on here that I didn't write the piece, Falcon, but thanks for your input. And another thing...I never said I lived and breathed by this writing, I just thought it was interesting and somewhat useful...for men and women alike.
Thanks, I needed the reminder of why I was single and still workin on me, it maybe lonly at times but I need the time to heal, it's been 4 or 5 yrs now but still workin on my career I gave up to help the ex out to get him on his career, some good it did me, but happy to say, I am back on my bike of choice and workin to live and live to work, lol, I've met some friends and not so good friends, but my life is mine and I say yes and no when I want, free as a bird and the highway is my home, lol. The only thing at the moment that moves my soul is my babe Jess (he's my main man, my bike, lol)
Hey Hooch, wish I read this six years ago. So right about all of it. Just be yourself, and I want to add one thing. If you see you're in a relationship and this guy likes to take take take, and you are NEVER receiving , get the hell outta it cause that person isn't ever gonna change. Been there. GAWD AWFUL.
But time to move on and I have!!!!
Hey, thank you all for your kind words of thanfulness. If this helped ONE person, then I accomplished something!!! Wish I could take credit for the writing, but alas....I can't even remember the author's name!!!
Now, if I can just put these words into practice myself!!!
I agree,several years ago as my daugther(my only child)prepared for her wedding I sat her down an ask her if she was happy,she said "Dad we trust each other and he makes me search for the happiness witin me".Years later I see she was ridht.
Well it was great you took the time to share your thinking with us, it has a lot of validity. I don't know if we will ever get it figured out this relationship deal!
I just had a amazing ordeal that I went through. Boy they say women are great actress's I met the best male actor around!!
Beginning!! We met about 2 years ago and had a great encounter, but for some reason (he said was my fault)we didn't see each other more than 2 times. Well he saw my profile posted and wrote me from here. He called said I broke his heart 2 yrs ago and he wanted to see me again and don't break it again. Yeah well, we went and watched the game and to the movie and it was instant chemistry as before. The thing was all night he was telling me how beautiful I was, and how good it was to be with me, yada yada yada, ended that night and he asked me to go for a ride the next day. He never called, so I called him, "oh my daughter is sick I will call you later" ok fine, NEVER HEARD FROM HIM AGAIN!!!I called and left a messege on VM and never heard from him!! Ok girls, we thought we could be bad!! So what was it, he was getting back at me, or he was already involved with someone??? NO HONESTY AROUND!
Hey CRAZEE!!!!!! Damn, girl, miss ya! I'm not a paying member here either, thats why I always just post on the forum when I want to say something or get in touch with someone. Dang cheap ass broad that I am....
Glad to hear you're coming down for Biketoberfest!!! We will work something out to get together for sure. .
Thanks, Char, Smile, and Wind for reading this and I'm glad you found it beneficial. Now lets all practice as much of it as we can!!!
hoochie mama!!! I am unable to get into the other site where I emailed you alot. I am not a member here but would like you to try to get ahold of me somehow...how can we make it work? I am coming down for Biketoberfest unless my health denies me of it!!!
Thank you Hooch for sharing these...I think I should print this out & read it often. Wasn't it you Char that posted something awhile back about "red flags"? I get so mad at myself when I sense something but yet I push it aside & don't truly listen to my gut. Then 3 months later...I feel then that it was a wasted 3 months of my time...But? Always a lesson learned. And to always remember not to settle. I'm worth more than that...
Thanks again Hooch...I'm going & printing this out now.