Promise or History? Relationship

  • View author's info posted on Jan 01, 2006 08:29


    HarleyGurl35 write:
    And even AFTER you've lived with them, sometimes you STILL don't know them.

    THAT I do know...ugh, just thinking about it makes me gag. I should have left sooner. Oh well..

    BB..you're even cute when you're fussy!



    now i was told you really don't know them until you divorce them!!!!!!!
  • View author's info posted on Jan 01, 2006 07:59


    LOL Thank you HG. ; ) Perhaps I'm just reminding folks that even old snuggy bears still have fangs and claws.

    But you surely know how to make me smile again.
  • View author's info posted on Dec 31, 2005 22:31


    And even AFTER you've lived with them, sometimes you STILL don't know them.

    THAT I do know...ugh, just thinking about it makes me gag. I should have left sooner. Oh well..

    BB..you're even cute when you're fussy!
  • View author's info posted on Dec 31, 2005 21:18


    My take on this is...I was NOT THERE. And since I was NOT THERE, I can only offer condolences to both, with out judgement, condemnation or remarks about anyone's style of writing or if it's the characteristics of a Sociopath or not. I will say this....until you have lived with someone, you do not know them.
  • View author's info posted on Dec 31, 2005 18:22


    I do agree with Kitty and the others, that this should be left private.

    ALTHOUGH...

    You have to notice WHO brought it out in public. It was their situation and they chose to share it. The sadness was chosen to be shared, just like the happiness was.

    We (well...MOST of us) know both of these people, whether in person, or from here. They chose to make us a part of their lives...and they BOTH have chosen to make us a part of their ending by BOTH posting. They are both reaching out in hopes of finding a way to stop the hurt whether they realize it or not. That's why people talk.

    Neither one of them can control our reactions to what they have chosen to share with us. THAT is a chance they take by sharing. They both have to be prepared to take the good along with the bad.

    It was nice to see a little friendly 'discussion' between Seeme and Suz not turn ugly and be handled maturely. You both are great women.

    I, personally, chose to keep quiet. I have spoken to Rev outside of this forum and she knows my feelings and what I have offered to do for her. And I know she appreciates it.

    The ONLY thing that doesn't set well with me is the comment Tripper made about Greenie, Suz and H4H.

    These girls have been here a LONG time and know both parties and each other. For Tripper to say "You girls have so much pizz in your vinegar, you could find something wrong with Mother T, based just on a rumor!" is not right at all.

    It's obvious by the 21 postings linked to your comment that you maybe haven't been around very long and don't really know ANY involved. Please don't make judgement calls on them as YOU asked them not to do.

    At least these girls KNOW the people they are referring to, and they know the history of what's being discussed. They were in no way being 'self righteous' as you stated.

    Please remember there are many of us who have been around a long time and we know more about each other than just what you may be reading at that particular moment.

    And believe me, if the shoe was on the other foot...they would have been defending SS just as hard.
  • View author's info posted on Dec 31, 2005 14:17


    I personally believe this stuff should be left in private for everyone involved.
    I am truley sorry for any pain that one goes through but should not be dragged around the web.
  • View author's info posted on Dec 31, 2005 08:07


    I neither condone nor condemn the behavior of either. I am Mama Char and I love both unconditionally.

    It is not in my job description as a Christian to be 'judgemental'.

    I know 'the truth' b/c I see.

    I am here for both whenever they want/need me.
  • View author's info posted on Dec 30, 2005 11:29


    seeme1st write:

    Suzananana write:
    Sorry guys.....but I don't think that we are doing any judging, or forming any opinions here. It's plainly written in black and white. (Well not exactly plainly - you have to read between the sugar-coated bullshi*t to "get" it - but it's there....)

    WHAT I READ IS YES MAYBE GUILT THAT THE MISTAKE WAS MADE IN THEM GETTING TOGETHER AS QUICKLY AS THEY DID--THIS WAS WRITTEN PRIOR TO ANY PHYSICAL ABUSE CHARGES BEING MADE

    The confession of abuse is written in the garbled, pretentious words of the person who started this thread. Clear your minds and re-read it my friends. Or try to anyway Greenie lol....

    You may be able to discern the words of guilt, and the asking of forgiveness for "past behaviors", no matter how clouded they seem to be.

    FROM WHAT I KNOW--EMAILS BETWEEN HIM AND HIS PAST G/F WAS INADVERTENTLY READ AND DISTRIBUTED TO OTHERS JUST BEFORE THIS POST

    I for one, am sickk and tired of the "abuser" getting the benefit of the doubt in every avenue of our society....especially from his peers.

    PERSONALLY I KNOW OF SEVERAL PPL THAT WERE THE RECEIVERS OF ABUSE--AND THEY WERE THE ONES CHARGED--WHAT I'M SAYING IS WE AREN'T THE JUDGE AND JURY--I HAD TO GET A PERMANENT PROTECTIVE ORDER AGAINST MY EX--SO I DO UNDERSTAND--I'M NOT CONDONING ANY BEHAVIOR--I'VE BEEN ON THE RECEIVING END AND IT IS TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE

    Omg - next are ya gonna tell me, "She deserved it" ???.....

    I WOULD NEVER SAY SHE DESERVED IT OR ANY ONE DOES--I'VE PUT MYSELF BETWEEN PPL AND ALMOST GOT HURT MYSELF--IF THINGS WERE BAD PRIOR TO THE INCEDENT-I KNOW THAT THERE WERE 2 OFFERS FOR HER TO STAY ELSEWHERE--I LEFT MY HOME BEFORE THE THREATS TO KILL ME TOOK PLACE

    Plain and simple... He picked up his hand to a woman. He struck her. He needs to pay the price. And part of that price is being left by his woman and being chastised by his peers. Sorry - no sympathy from me. Nope. None...

    ALL I'M SAYING IS WE WEREN'T THERE AND WE DON'T KNOW THAT IT HAPPENED THAT WAY--MY BROTHER WAS FALSELY ACCUSED AND AMONGST OTHER THINGS HIS FEMALE PARTNER DID AT THE TIME WOUND UP WITH HIM COMMITTING SUICIDE--SHE EVEN ADMITTED TO US AT HIS FUNERAL THAT SHE LIED

    It's wrong man.... just wrong.....

    And don't you all let such deceptively sweet words fool you the same way the writer is using them to fool himself....

    Isn't it time to stop protecting the abuser ???

    YES IT IS--WHEN WE KNOW THE TRUTH!!!!!!!!! NOT BEFORE IS ALL I'M SAYING--I'M NOT HERE TO DEFEND OR JUDGE ANYONE--I KNOW THAT THINGS GET MESSY AND THAT SOMETIMES WHEN WE HEAR ONE SIDE WE TEND TO ACCEPT WHAT IS TOLD TO US--AS I SAID THERE ARE 3 SIDES TO EVERY STORY--AND I WON'T CONDEMN ANYONE WITHOUT THE 3 SIDES--IF EITHER ONE OF THEM HIT THE OTHER THAT PERSON NEEDS TO GET HELP AND NEEDS TO HAVE THE FULL EXTENT OF ANY THING REQUIRED BY LAW


    Ok Seeme....Point taken.....Well taken.

    I apologize if I came down too hard on one particular member, but it's my experience that if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and talks like a duck...well it MUST BE a duck....

    I tend to have a very bad reaction when it comes to seein another person physically abused, so if I have been verbally abusive to that person, I do apologize. Two wrongs never make a right.....

    I just can't help but see red when I see physical abuse of any kind against a woman, a man, a child, or an animal, and my anger kicks in and I go off.... I was told, in detail, that this did in fact occur, by a third party..... a trusted third party, but an outsider to the situation nonetheless. I took their words as gospel, and perhaps I jumped the gun. Thank you all for pointing it out to me.

    Until I hear all THREE sides of the incident, which I probably never will, you'll hear no more outta me about this.

    I just sincerely hope that both parties involved find the help and solace that they need.....

    Peg -- I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your brother.... I can see why my opinion of the situation warranted your words.... Please accept my apology for stirring this up in your head again... I never meant to cause you any pain....
  • View author's info posted on Dec 30, 2005 11:01


    For crying out loud! You people remind me of a flock of chickens after the same june bug.
    Yeah, I heard a version and am sorry it didn't work for these two, but life happens and it's none of my business. I also understand coming to the defense of someone you care for and giving thenm support, but why not in private, instead of scattering these seeds of anger in public forum.
    To Rev AND Ss: I'm truly sorry it didn't work out and if either of you need to talk, please feel free to email me. All will be kept in confidence.
    BB
  • View author's info posted on Dec 30, 2005 03:48


    Sorry guys.....but I don't think that we are doing any judging, or forming any opinions here. It's plainly written in black and white. (Well not exactly plainly - you have to read between the sugar-coated bullshi*t to "get" it - but it's there....)

    The confession of abuse is written in the garbled, pretentious words of the person who started this thread. Clear your minds and re-read it my friends. Or try to anyway Greenie lol....

    You may be able to discern the words of guilt, and the asking of forgiveness for "past behaviors", no matter how clouded they seem to be.

    I for one, am sickk and tired of the "abuser" getting the benefit of the doubt in every avenue of our society....especially from his peers.

    Omg - next are ya gonna tell me, "She deserved it" ???.....

    Plain and simple... He picked up his hand to a woman. He struck her. He needs to pay the price. And part of that price is being left by his woman and being chastised by his peers. Sorry - no sympathy from me. Nope. None...

    It's wrong man.... just wrong.....

    And don't you all let such deceptively sweet words fool you the same way the writer is using them to fool himself....

    Isn't it time to stop protecting the abuser ???
  • View author's info posted on Dec 29, 2005 14:34


    See alot of judgements made on here. Only thing i havent seen is where any of you were there to see what had even happened. It's easy for some to be judgemental when they only see or hear one side of anything. Just hope if i ever go to court again NONE of you are on the jury
  • View author's info posted on Dec 29, 2005 05:25


    WestsideFred write:
    The dude needs to go work making Hallmark cards for a living.Then he can give the proceeds to a battered womens shelter.Just one mans opinion.


    .....
  • View author's info posted on Dec 28, 2005 16:43


    The dude needs to go work making Hallmark cards for a living.Then he can give the proceeds to a battered womens shelter.Just one mans opinion.
  • View author's info posted on Dec 27, 2005 01:35


    Hot4Hogs write:
    Suzananana write:
    Oh my, the pain that I am hearing in these posts.... and the reality I am hearing as well.

    It all comes down to this for me... Walk like you talk !!! If your actions in real life don't look a thing like the words you write, then you are a liar... plain and simple, and you have no business subjecting another human being to your cruelty and deceit. If you are dishonest with yourself, how can you possibly be honest with anyone else ???

    Actions speak way louder than mere words....

    H4H... your words are right on...and I salute you, once again, for the balls to post 'em. You have my deepest respect.....

    Thanx Suz! Yes, I do have a set...and they're chrome!


    Hahahahaha.... I'm gonna ask PBG is I can borrow the necklace Weenie bought her... Brass Balls....

    Helllll... I'll buy you your own.... in chrome of course lol..

    But all kidding aside, any man who can spew such words of compassion and understanding, and then turn around and act so totally opposite, and THEN come back and try to defend those acts with more insincere words, is just rationalizing those bad acts, and trying to make it ok within himself.

    Your words can't fix you SS..... No words can. Perhaps its time to seek out the professionals who may be able to help you.....
  • View author's info posted on Dec 26, 2005 10:57


    Oh my, the pain that I am hearing in these posts.... and the reality I am hearing as well.

    It all comes down to this for me... Walk like you talk !!! If your actions in real life don't look a thing like the words you write, then you are a liar... plain and simple, and you have no business subjecting another human being to your cruelty and deceit. If you are dishonest with yourself, how can you possibly be honest with anyone else ???

    Actions speak way louder than mere words....

    H4H... your words are right on...and I salute you, once again, for the balls to post 'em. You have my deepest respect.....
  • View author's info posted on Dec 23, 2005 05:08


    HDRIDER629 write:
    I think that your past is what shapes who you are, and the main thing to remember is to learn from your past mistakes, for if you do not learn from them you are doomed to repeat them. Every good thing in our lives, and every bad thing that happens to us is a learning experience. Take what knowledge you can from each and move forward. If you do not you are doomed to stagnation and will not grow.

    Cool HD...I like to leave the door of my past open about 6 inches...just to take a peek once in awhile...that way I don't have to repeat anything unless I want to... at my age...I need visuals. Cause my past sure "shaped" me...at least it shaped my nose ... ha...ha.
  • View author's info posted on Dec 23, 2005 01:03


    Hot4Hogs write:
    SpringerSoul write:
    Hot4Hogs write:
    Springer,actually when ONE speaks for HIMSELF, he should speak in first person. There is no 'One' who can 'face their...' Try, 'I face MY...' and let others decide for themselves.

    Interesting, the part of my post you chose to rebut. Guilt is an easy offense to avoid.

    Guess I am guilty of poor English. Given the porn and slang on this site, I didn't think it was at academic levels.
    I will strive to double check grammar and spelling better. Hope you can forgive the error.
  • View author's info posted on Dec 23, 2005 00:19


    Creek write:
    The PAST has SHAPED my soul to love my "LETS" no one would ever understand what I'm talking about!!

    As the river bed is shaped to hold the River, but the river can change its shape and carve its way through rock to find its deep ocean of promise.

    Peace be with you Creek, you hold LETS in your canyons of deep devotion and I pray if he is still among the mortal that he feels the current you are sending him.
  • View author's info posted on Dec 22, 2005 21:19


    The PAST has SHAPED my soul to love my "LETS" no one would ever understand what I'm talking about!!
  • View author's info posted on Dec 22, 2005 21:09



    SpringerSoul write:
    Personal history often creates in us addictive patterns of behavior and perception.
    Personal attraction and mate selection is often unwillingly part of the patterns and images of history that thwart the promise one seeks.
    One need hardly speak when it is realized that history hasn't been as golden as myth would have it and many have a battered past whose affects continue to last because be they for ill or well our bodies have adapted their sensory messengers to the familiarity of the pattern en countering thee and we find more attention given to familiarity than a strange uncertainty and often times though promise sits upon our very nose; we can not see it because we do not know it!
    What is this crazy fool trying to say for all his battering words?
    Only this --that though you seek the "promise" your guide is your "history" that doesn't know what your promise even looks or feels like. If you have not met your promise how can you know it?
    Give yourself time to rest in the unfamiliar and explore the unusual relationship even if you must keep it at length just to brave its discovery for it may hold the key to the promise and not your history.
    History has a powerful resonate affect that bathes one in familiarity but unless you truly have searched the depths of self and know what comforts thee and why...do not be so certain it is good for thee. Refined sugar is a sweet that gives the pancreas an early grief.

    A young fool
    I've searched the depths of self and know what comforts thee and why... "LETS" would know if he was here! Love you Baber! (Even though you'll never see this!) Thanks! Springersoul It's Beautiful!
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