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Being a Mommy...new and old
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Posted on Tue, Nov 01, 2005 07:28

Birth Order of Children

Your Clothes:

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon
as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as
possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular
clothes.


Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that
last time, breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth
month.


The Layette:

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes,
color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the
baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are
clean and discard only the ones with the darkest
stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?


Worries:

1st baby: At the first sign of distress -- a whimper,
a frown -- you pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails
threaten to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind
the mechanical swing.


Pacifier:

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put
it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you
squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it
back in.


Diapering:

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour,
whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three
hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others
start to complain about the smell or you see it
sagging to their knees.


Activities:

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics,
Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and
the dry cleaner.


Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a
sitter, you call home five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you
remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to
call only if she sees blood.


At Home:

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just
gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be
sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or
hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding
from the children.


Swallowing Coins (a favorite):

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush
the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you
carefully watch for the coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct
it from his allowance!!

Pass this on to everyone you know who has children...
or anyone who KNOWS someone who has had children...

(The older the mother, the funnier this is!)

GRANDCHILDREN: God's reward for allowing your children
to live.
Birth Order of Children

Your Clothes:

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon
as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as
possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular
clothes.


Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that
last time, breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth
month.


The Layette:

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes,
color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the
baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are
clean and discard only the ones with the darkest
stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?


Worries:

1st baby: At the first sign of distress -- a whimper,
a frown -- you pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails
threaten to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind
the mechanical swing.


Pacifier:

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put
it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you
squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it
back in.


Diapering:

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour,
whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three
hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others
start to complain about the smell or you see it
sagging to their knees.


Activities:

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics,
Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and
the dry cleaner.


Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a
sitter, you call home five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you
remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to
call only if she sees blood.


At Home:

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just
gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be
sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or
hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding
from the children.


Swallowing Coins (a favorite):

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush
the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you
carefully watch for the coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct
it from his allowance!!

Pass this on to everyone you know who has children...
or anyone who KNOWS someone who has had children...

(The older the mother, the funnier this is!)

GRANDCHILDREN: God's reward for allowing your children
to live.

  


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Posted on Wed, Nov 09, 2005 20:43

thunderunderme write:
hahahahaha ain't it the truth.....

It is that Sister Char...it is that!

  


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Posted on Wed, Nov 09, 2005 20:42

reno52 write:
OMG, not a mom but a dad... Home run sweetie, home run.... reno

I knoooooooooow! When my son was born, I made sure he was clean 24/7..almost three years later when my daughter came along, they were lucky that I washed them up for meals! LOL New mommys..and daddys..are soooooo a*nal! But Gawd! What fun it was, huh???

  


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Posted on Wed, Nov 09, 2005 12:05

hahahahaha ain't it the truth.....



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Posted on Wed, Nov 09, 2005 11:21

OMG, not a mom but a dad... Home run sweetie, home run.... reno



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Posted on Wed, Nov 09, 2005 05:59

Hey angelrider....I'm going to have a baby and will be at the #1 stage
but It's good to know If everyone else got away with the #3... I can too lol.

  


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Posted on Mon, Nov 07, 2005 10:14

I only have 2 children...and I can reflect on how different I was with each one! LOL!

Thanks for pointing all those out! They're great! LOL!

  


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Posted on Wed, Nov 02, 2005 06:44

Angel Girl this is Too Funny!...Thanks for posting it.....I have 3 and a granddaughter!

  


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