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Posted on Tue, Nov 08, 2005 19:32

I pick up my new street bike next month. This is something Di and I had promised ourselves for many years. It's going to be bitter sweet to fulfill this dream without her.



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Posted on Tue, Nov 08, 2005 17:59

Today would have been our 36th wedding anniversary. I remember our last one 2 years ago. We went out to eat and had our favorite..lobster..we splurged as we often did on our anniversary. We were so happy and had such a fun night. Little did we know it would be our last anniversary.

Does this particular day make me any sadder than yesterday or than tomorrow? No..it's just a number.

My closest times to him since he his gone is when I am riding. When I climb on Thunder I ask God to watch over my ride and then I say "Come Rock..Let's ride." He rides with me, I always feel him there. So as we were for 34 years we are still "in the wind".



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Posted on Mon, Nov 07, 2005 21:07

Well I guess that it is my turn to jump on in here. Not quite sure what to type so I guess it will just come to me as it usually does. First, I want to say that my heart goes out to all of you who have lost loved ones. I have read through these threads and there are some beautiful and touching words of advice for others. Bea said she was told that she would not dream until she could deal with the pain. My husband died when my 2 children were babies. He died suddenly, a result of a motorcycle accident. Although it was many years ago I remember that night as if it happened yesterday. First the headlights of his friends coming up the driveway in the middle of the night to break the news that he had been in an accident, the frantic calls to the hospital, the visit from the coroner, the days that followed. You never forget! You never forget them, and as many have said you never forget someone you loved... and memories are not something to be ashamed of. Memories are a good thing. I did go to counseling Bea. My Boss was worried about the state I was in and told me that they had support groups. I was sleeping around the clock. I lost a year of my life. I can't even tell you where I was or what I did during that time. I slept so I did not have to face reality. I guess we all deal with the pain in our own way and in our own time. My counselor was great. He was a friend from high school. He told me that I had to allow myself to grieve in order to get through it and get on with life. It hadn't even dawned on me that it was ok to do so as grieving is also the road to healing. Well I cried myself a river. To this day, if I hear one of our songs I will cry. I look into my Son's face and I see his Father. I think how proud his Father would be of him today. I heard news last week that my Son and his wife are expecting a Son in March. This was such awesome news. Life goes on.... we go on. We become stronger people because what we have had to endure. We have an empathy, and understanding, that only those that have lost a significant other can understand. V, this is an excellent forum. Hopefully these sharings will help those who have recently lost a loved one. Again, my heart goes out to each and every one of you.... and I would like nothing better than to be able to reach out and give each and every one of you a "real HUG!" Peace and Blessings!

  


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Posted on Mon, Nov 07, 2005 11:21

Have read this thread twice but got too upset both times to put finger to keyboard.all the posts were very moving.
I lost my hubby suddenly one monday morning to a massive heart attack,he was only 44.I spent 40 minutes trying to help him on the hallway floor waiting for the ambulance but he died in my arms.Our 4 girls and I were devastated to say the least.Part of me wanted to give up but i love our daughters too much.
It has been 20 months now and I feel him with me always.How could it be any different when we were and still are soulmates?He will always be part of me and our girls.Always on my mind and forever in my heart.
Will post again soon,take care all & keep dreamin.x



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Posted on Sat, Nov 05, 2005 12:38

WINDSPIRIT50 write:

verdaineg write:

WINDSPIRIT50 write:
I belong on this forum and I keep coming back but I can't seem to touch it except to let you know my heart is with you all!.....Mo



Howdy Sweet Lady,
Mo.. You will touch it when you are ready. You have touched us just by posting this.


Thanks! Maybe Someday!

hey mo, how are you girl, you come in when your ready, no hurry we will be here for you....always have been.....luv ya.......

  


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Posted on Thu, Nov 03, 2005 16:12

I'm glad you posted to keep this thread alive.
The challenge has become to look forward without forgetting. Start building new memories to stack on top of the old ones.



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Posted on Wed, Nov 02, 2005 11:26

Just trying to keep this from falling off the radar scope. I know there are other widows and widowers out there that can use this thread.

It is ironic that I posted what cosugarbabe said to me two days before she crashed.



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Posted on Mon, Oct 24, 2005 10:24

Yesterday I talked with another widow. She has a great outlook on life. She is a nurse and is on BK. Her name is cosugarbabe. She has stopped looking at dates as anniversaries and started remembering all the good years she and he had together. She said, "I think of him everyday, why would I want to pick certain dates to be sad. I celebrate the time we had together rather than morn one day of loss." What a great attitude. Last night I started takin' dance lessons. I started lookin' at our time together and I will continue to celebrate life rather than morn one day of a lifetime.

When you see a friend, wheather they are the same sex as you or not, give them a hug to celebrate their presence and when you depart, give them another because it may be the last. Celebrate life, ride like crazy and feel the wind dancin' on your skin. Take a risk, make a fist and shake it at your fears. Then dry the tears and celebrate.
Yesterday I talked with another widow. She has a great outlook on life. She is a nurse and is on BK. Her name is cosugarbabe. She has stopped looking at dates as anniversaries and started remembering all the good years she and he had together. She said, "I think of him everyday, why would I want to pick certain dates to be sad. I celebrate the time we had together rather than morn one day of loss." What a great attitude. Last night I started takin' dance lessons. I started lookin' at our time together and I will continue to celebrate life rather than morn one day of a lifetime.

When you see a friend, wheather they are the same sex as you or not, give them a hug to celebrate their presence and when you depart, give them another because it may be the last. Celebrate life, ride like crazy and feel the wind dancin' on your skin. Take a risk, make a fist and shake it at your fears. Then dry the tears and celebrate.



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Posted on Fri, Oct 21, 2005 19:40

verdaineg write:

Angelle write:
hello to everyone that has posted in this particular forum topic. I just wanted to share abit of my experiences of whats happened to me and my sons in the last 4 years. My husband passed away after a 6 month struggle with cancer. My sons were 9 and 12 at that time. I have found that basically we are doing it alone as the family have abandoned us or more me in particular. My kids have struggled in so many ways, at school, with friends and just life in general.
Ive tried councilling for them but its so hard for kids to accept that they can benifit from that sort of thing.
I did counciling for a while then had to start again late last year when things got really hard. I found myself struggling too hard to please everyone in my life. I had the school on my back and my younger son being suspended on a almost weekly basis. I have had a few relationships with men but Ive realized that it will take a very special man to want to take the journey with me and accept my sons as part of the package deal. Many people have no idea about grief or even have empathy for people that have experienced a loss. I want to have a great life again and I know that Ive tried so hard to be everything for my sons, they are growing and getting slightly better but its been a real hard slog.
I have no idea how my sons feel, I have only lost a partner not a parent.
Everyone associated with the departed loved one has a different grief and different coping skills. I guess what I wanted to say is that life goes on and we must be glad that we can wake up every morning and put our feet on the ground and keep walking. Life is to be cherished and we should take the time to enjoy even the simplest things.
Hugs to everyone - Cazzie



Howdy Cazzie! Thanks for the great post. My thoughts and prayers are with you. It sounds like you are moving along in the process. I hate hearing that myself but .. sometimes ya gotta say what ya gotta say. Please stay in touch with this string. The more of us that post the more others may understand. The more they understand the more likely we and they will be able to cope with each other when we meet that special someone again.

Ride free. Ride like there is no tomorrow. Hug those you are with when you first see them to celebrate their presence and hug them as they leave as if you may never see them again.

LRB Dane

DANE
Thanks for your support and taking the time to read my post. I think there are alot of people in situations similar to ours and we have learned a great deal from what has touched us, I think we stand as better folk. I keep thinking that maybee one day I shall share my life with someone special and someone that can UNDERSTAND ME. Until then I just keep smiling (most days) and look forward to greater things.
One thing that Ive enjoyed is the kinship from people on this site and although Im far away in Australia I have made so many friends that I dont always feel so lonely.
Good luck with everything and drop me a line sometime . Cheers and warm wishes from Oz. Cazzie

  


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Posted on Fri, Oct 21, 2005 19:31

Thanks for you support Expander.
my best wishes to you in your life journey. Cazzie
Thanks for you support Expander.
my best wishes to you in your life journey. Cazzie

  


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Posted on Tue, Oct 18, 2005 07:18

hey there Mo, Im not a member but if you are and u wanna email me please do.
that offer is open to anyone that wants to chat or talk about your experiences. Yes they hurt and they hurt badly but remember a problem shared is a problem halved. Just remember I might be in Australia but Im not that far away. Hugs from Oz - Cazzie

  


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Posted on Mon, Oct 17, 2005 17:18


verdaineg write:

WINDSPIRIT50 write:
I belong on this forum and I keep coming back but I can't seem to touch it except to let you know my heart is with you all!.....Mo



Howdy Sweet Lady,
Mo.. You will touch it when you are ready. You have touched us just by posting this.


Thanks! Maybe Someday!

  


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Posted on Mon, Oct 17, 2005 15:33


WINDSPIRIT50 write:
I belong on this forum and I keep coming back but I can't seem to touch it except to let you know my heart is with you all!.....Mo



Howdy Sweet Lady,
Mo.. You will touch it when you are ready. You have touched us just by posting this.

  


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Posted on Mon, Oct 17, 2005 15:26


Angelle write:
hello to everyone that has posted in this particular forum topic. I just wanted to share abit of my experiences of whats happened to me and my sons in the last 4 years. My husband passed away after a 6 month struggle with cancer. My sons were 9 and 12 at that time. I have found that basically we are doing it alone as the family have abandoned us or more me in particular. My kids have struggled in so many ways, at school, with friends and just life in general.
Ive tried councilling for them but its so hard for kids to accept that they can benifit from that sort of thing.
I did counciling for a while then had to start again late last year when things got really hard. I found myself struggling too hard to please everyone in my life. I had the school on my back and my younger son being suspended on a almost weekly basis. I have had a few relationships with men but Ive realized that it will take a very special man to want to take the journey with me and accept my sons as part of the package deal. Many people have no idea about grief or even have empathy for people that have experienced a loss. I want to have a great life again and I know that Ive tried so hard to be everything for my sons, they are growing and getting slightly better but its been a real hard slog.
I have no idea how my sons feel, I have only lost a partner not a parent.
Everyone associated with the departed loved one has a different grief and different coping skills. I guess what I wanted to say is that life goes on and we must be glad that we can wake up every morning and put our feet on the ground and keep walking. Life is to be cherished and we should take the time to enjoy even the simplest things.
Hugs to everyone - Cazzie



Howdy Cazzie! Thanks for the great post. My thoughts and prayers are with you. It sounds like you are moving along in the process. I hate hearing that myself but .. sometimes ya gotta say what ya gotta say. Please stay in touch with this string. The more of us that post the more others may understand. The more they understand the more likely we and they will be able to cope with each other when we meet that special someone again.

Ride free. Ride like there is no tomorrow. Hug those you are with when you first see them to celebrate their presence and hug them as they leave as if you may never see them again.

LRB Dane



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Posted on Sun, Oct 16, 2005 19:57

Amen to Angelle



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Posted on Sun, Oct 16, 2005 19:10

I belong on this forum and I keep coming back but I can't seem to touch it except to let you know my heart is with you all!.....Mo

  


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Posted on Fri, Oct 14, 2005 05:46

hello to everyone that has posted in this particular forum topic. I just wanted to share abit of my experiences of whats happened to me and my sons in the last 4 years. My husband passed away after a 6 month struggle with cancer. My sons were 9 and 12 at that time. I have found that basically we are doing it alone as the family have abandoned us or more me in particular. My kids have struggled in so many ways, at school, with friends and just life in general.
Ive tried councilling for them but its so hard for kids to accept that they can benifit from that sort of thing.
I did counciling for a while then had to start again late last year when things got really hard. I found myself struggling too hard to please everyone in my life. I had the school on my back and my younger son being suspended on a almost weekly basis. I have had a few relationships with men but Ive realized that it will take a very special man to want to take the journey with me and accept my sons as part of the package deal. Many people have no idea about grief or even have empathy for people that have experienced a loss. I want to have a great life again and I know that Ive tried so hard to be everything for my sons, they are growing and getting slightly better but its been a real hard slog.
I have no idea how my sons feel, I have only lost a partner not a parent.
Everyone associated with the departed loved one has a different grief and different coping skills. I guess what I wanted to say is that life goes on and we must be glad that we can wake up every morning and put our feet on the ground and keep walking. Life is to be cherished and we should take the time to enjoy even the simplest things.
Hugs to everyone - Cazzie

  
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Posted on Thu, Oct 13, 2005 14:45

who knows ver, but I am thinking our experiences would make a great movie....except let it be a horror movie. Bea, I feel for ya...I was the same way....did what my hubby wanted. All is right by him...i know this.

Ver, FInd out what your son likes to do...spend time with him, just keep trying....you can break through..its just going ot take time, and hey, I have ashoulder, an ear, a listening heart if you need someone to just vent to. Bea you too. I can be reached at olred61 at yhoo, if ya need to talk.



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Posted on Thu, Oct 13, 2005 11:34

My inlaws may also be part of that cloning project. Just before the funeral started I sat next to my mother in law. I stuck out my hand trying to hold hers. I wanted to tell her how much I tried with Sweet Pea and how much I loved Sweet Pea. She slapped me and pushed me away and said she didn't want to see me again. None of Sweet Pea's family helped us in the battle. I just looked at it as little lady loosing her child and being angry at the world. But, she has never called her grandson to talk with him since because he stayed with me and not his birth father. The youngun' has been abandoned by his family after loosing his mom. Now he and I are trying to learn to communicate but we are not having much luck at it. Tonight I will go to his parent teacher conferences at the HS. He doesn't want me to go and he has not given me a list of his teachers names. But, I care and I will ride over there and hunt down the teachers he has somehow.

Where did that gene pool come from and why did anyone want to clone it?

Ride like there is no tomorrow. Keep your knees in the breeze and a grin on your chin cause it keeps ya smilin' to be ridin'.



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Posted on Wed, Oct 12, 2005 15:46

STRV.......I HEAR YA, BUT IT IS THEIR LOSS, NOT THE KIDS AND GOD ONLY KNOWS HOW RICK TURNED OUT SO COOL....HE USE TO TELL ME "WAIT TILL YOU MET THEM, THEN YOU WILL KNOW WHY I LEFT AS SOON AS I COULD".......LOL....AND YOUR RIGHT, YOU KIDS DON'T NEED THEIR CHIT, AND WILL BE FINE WITHOUT THEM....I HAVE NO REGRETS WHAT I DID FOR RICK EITHER, HIM AND I TALKED ALOT ABOUT WHEN THE TIME CAME, WHAT HE WANTED AND SO FORTH.....AND I DID IT AS HE WISHED, FIGHTING WITH PEOPLE ALL THE WAY, BUT I KNOW IN MY HEART ALL IS RIGHT WITH HIM....AND AFTER ALL THAT IS WHAT COUNTED AT THE TIME, JUST HIM.....ISN'T IT AMAZING WHAT WE HAVE TO GO THRU IN LIFE, PEOPLE SOMETIMES STILL LOOK AT ME WITH HORROW IN THEIR EYES.......HAHAHAHAHHAHAH

  


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