Early warning signs "oops, wrong Person!" Romance

  • View author's info Author posted on Aug 31, 2005 05:50


    Hi,
    I would love to hear what you all think are the early warning signs of romatic possibilities who are liars, users, posers, insincere, etc.
    If a guy wants to get in your panties, SOME of them will say or promise anything.
    I use my gut instincts, but I've certainly been wrong before. I'd rather find out very early on: The whole truth and nothing but the truth. This can make me seem feisty to some men, but I AM feisty and deserve a great guy.
    So, what are the early warning signals you have recognized?
    DD

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  • View author's info posted on Jan 26, 2007 16:09


    Show61...you are so right...I however have found a great man...and struggling to keep my head above water...(someone pinch me...am I awake) women will push the good ones away, yes, because they are scared..they start trying to FIND things wrong, so he's not quite right..I have been guilty of it, and working hard not to let this one slip away.
  • View author's info posted on Jan 17, 2007 18:15


    ALGIEJIVE write:
    WOULD YA KNOW A REAL ONE ???? I SMELL SMOKE ALOT AROUND HERE,,YOU GIRLS THINK YOUR THE ONLY ONES THAT HAVE BEEN BURNED?? THATS JUST TOO FUNNY,,US GUYS GET OUR SHARE,,,WE JUST DONT CRY ABOUT IT I GUESS,,AS FOR ME,,I JUST KEEP TRYIN,,



    I agree with ya AJ, But not all us gals cry about it. Some of us don't think the world needs to hear about it. It's better to walk with a clean slate and take with us the good that comes from every relationship. After all, if there wasn't some good there to begin with, what was the point of even being in it?
    Just my view... ;}
  • View author's info posted on Jan 01, 2007 22:27


    it is my experience that those red flags go up...i didn't listen to the the first time ...but won't egnore them again.......annie
  • View author's info posted on Jan 01, 2007 09:50


    redchapps write:
    Re Warning Signs
    Behavior is predictable and the traits (character) of a person can be determined by looking at their level of compassion and their satisfaction with their life. If they are compassionate and have reached their goals and are happy with their place in this world, then it is likely that they will be the person they initially project. *Also, developing a relationship takes time, look at the pattern and pay close attention to inconsistencies. It is those inconsistencies that are most telling. Another area to look at for compatibility is social-economic background. This is broad...culture where were they raised, the values they have, do they have close family ties (be careful if they do not), what they spend their money on, religious/spiritual views...etc.
    I have been fooled before, but have the mantra that its not about me, but about who they are and flaws in their character. Not pleasant to experience, but the only thing we can do is remove ourselves from their presence. Pax J

    Re:





    Wonderful words of wisdom you shared. That's it in a nutshell.

    Grazi!

    DD
  • View author's info posted on Dec 23, 2006 07:28


    Re Warning Signs
    Behavior is predictable and the traits (character) of a person can be determined by looking at their level of compassion and their satisfaction with their life. If they are compassionate and have reached their goals and are happy with their place in this world, then it is likely that they will be the person they initially project. *Also, developing a relationship takes time, look at the pattern and pay close attention to inconsistencies. It is those inconsistencies that are most telling. Another area to look at for compatibility is social-economic background. This is broad...culture where were they raised, the values they have, do they have close family ties (be careful if they do not), what they spend their money on, religious/spiritual views...etc.
    I have been fooled before, but have the mantra that its not about me, but about who they are and flaws in their character. Not pleasant to experience, but the only thing we can do is remove ourselves from their presence. Pax J
  • View author's info posted on Dec 21, 2006 17:18


    WOULD YA KNOW A REAL ONE ???? I SMELL SMOKE ALOT AROUND HERE,,YOU GIRLS THINK YOUR THE ONLY ONES THAT HAVE BEEN BURNED?? THATS JUST TOO FUNNY,,US GUYS GET OUR SHARE,,,WE JUST DONT CRY ABOUT IT I GUESS,,AS FOR ME,,I JUST KEEP TRYIN,,
  • View author's info posted on Nov 12, 2005 06:27


    sexybaby write:
    A daughter of a friend of mine asked me at about 15 yrs old about boys. she wondered what was the truth and what was love. we were always very close and I wanted to give her good advice. I could see from our conversation that she was considering going beyond kissing and "playing" ...suddenly I remembered a gift a GF of mine had given me earlier in the year when I had the same questions... I ran to my underwear drawer and came back with some pantie's ... I then told her... the only thing you need to remember , when it come's to boy's wanting to take these off..is just one thing.. and I held up the cute thong pantie's that said on the front.."BOY"S LIE"...nuff said..LOL!!!


    That's great Sexy. : ) But by the time I got to the panties, I wasn't much interested in reading. LOL
  • View author's info posted on Nov 12, 2005 01:38


    and btw DD you do deserve a great guy!!! I've seen e-nuff of them on here that would like to qualify!!!you will know it when you see it.
  • View author's info posted on Nov 12, 2005 01:36


    A daughter of a friend of mine asked me at about 15 yrs old about boys. she wondered what was the truth and what was love. we were always very close and I wanted to give her good advice. I could see from our conversation that she was considering going beyond kissing and "playing" ...suddenly I remembered a gift a GF of mine had given me earlier in the year when I had the same questions... I ran to my underwear drawer and came back with some pantie's ... I then told her... the only thing you need to remember , when it come's to boy's wanting to take these off..is just one thing.. and I held up the cute thong pantie's that said on the front.."BOY"S LIE"...nuff said..LOL!!!
  • View author's info posted on Nov 10, 2005 09:34


    WINDSPIRIT50 write:

    mojo2005 write:

    DoubleDelight write:

    So, what are the early warning signals you have recognized?


    ...as for me..ref to insincere..been told "I give mixed signals" I get that from my four older sisters, a guess..lol..I try to use the gut also, usually right on most times...and listen to what they (people) say but go off what they don't say, and what they do..or don't do....hope this made some since for ya..and go get what you deserve lady, don't settle for less...better stop before I reveal what is in the *men's manual for women*...lol


    MO.....the gut always tells you what's right or wrong....The problem with that is do we listen or stuff a sock in it!....In my life today I'm choosing to listen!.....and DD...You'll know what to do when it presents itself.......Mo

    I agree with you totally on this, Mo. Listen to that inner voice. Also, look in to their eyes. Eye's do not lie. If they can not look back into yours? RUN don't walk away.
  • View author's info posted on Oct 09, 2005 23:37


    HOw about if they never show up when you ahve plans or are always very very late for those plans. Also, the cell # is another. I use my gut instincts also. I have been fooled, but I have learned lessons along the way!
  • View author's info posted on Oct 09, 2005 20:33


    U

    Comfy1 write:

    Nodey write:
    Lol,yes ladies. I was so sure this creep did it,I called and confronted him with it. He told me he couldn't believe I had the audacity to accuse him of such a thing. When he said that,I let it rip. There was nothing I didn't call him. I have had money go missing before,but never accussed anyone of stealing it before this man.

    Lol..he had the nerve to email me 4 months later and try to talk to me.

    And when I thought I had seen it all.



    YIKES!

    Kinda makes you wonder.......
    What could he have been thinkng?

    Ummmm...that he was all that and a bag of chips too?????
  • View author's info posted on Oct 09, 2005 12:13


    Norbu: Hi there! I loved what you said: "I think the best thing to do is take your time, kinda like toasting a marshmello; too hot too quick and somthin gets burnt"
    ~~~
    Norbu-Got burnt! lol. Takin' it slow now.
    ~~~
    Falcon: Loved your long post. Thanks.
    ~~~
    Lady V- and Knotsofast-Hope life is fun and happy up in your neck of the woods.
    ~~~
    DD
  • View author's info posted on Oct 09, 2005 10:55


    I think the best thing to do is take your time, kinda like toasting a marshmello; too hot too quick and somthin gets burnt. Observation, common sense, and intuition. Watch how the person you meet deals with waiters and waitresses ect. Watch their driving habbits, rude and aggressive or mindful and curtious.

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  • View author's info posted on Oct 08, 2005 08:44


    wait a minute ,,,comment on cell number,not fair,,,im hardly ever home too use house number anymore,unless to get online. keep that one in mind now!!!!!
  • View author's info posted on Sep 14, 2005 23:56


    A big warning sign definite "Red Flag".....When they say one thing and do another and say don't be mad as they're telling you and then your at fault for getting upset!..... (fndrbny) We do watch each other around here! Good to see you hitting the forums girl!
  • View author's info posted on Sep 14, 2005 23:41


    Falcon.... Thanks for putting the time into that post......It is so on target....More people need to read that!
  • View author's info posted on Sep 14, 2005 14:44


    Oh, and fndrbndr? You sure you aren't more like 29? Jeesh girl, what's your secret? Great profile, by the way. It's a wonder you don't have all those NY guys lined up by now.
    Just one more proof that the girls on BK rock!!
  • View author's info posted on Sep 14, 2005 14:41


    Online dating safety tips taken from various internet sources. I've a shorter list, but since you're all looking for information.....

    If you have decided you want something of a more personal relationship with someone you've met and they give you a contact number try ringing it. If you can never get hold of them be very wary, even if they give you a seemingly reasonable excuse. If you have to page or text them so they ring you back this is a real warning sign when considering your online dating safety. Presumably they have something to hide.

    If you seem to be the only half of the relationship that is making the effort to progress your relationship to the next step you should step back and take a good look at exactly what they are saying.

    Asking for financial help or other kinds of help should be a sure fire online dating safety warning sign no matter how polite, sweet and charming they are. An online relationship has in no way progressed to the level where they should be asking you for money.

    While it's true that you should take before you give out your personal details once you decide that's the level you want to move to, it should be a two-sided thing. If the person you are talking to is entirely unwilling to give out personal details and you're sure that you've had long enough to get to know each other then their lack of commitment in wanting to meet you might indicate a secret.

    Insecurity and a need to get married are more common than you might think in both men and women and if either of these factors crop up on a regular basis then you need to decide whether this is something you can cope with and whether you can stand back it make the relationship go slower. If not, then you are being pressurized into moving your relationship further forward than you want to.

    A final online dating safety warning sign is to avoid embarrassment and upset. Online dating sites are sometimes frequented by people looking for something more than a quick chat, and might be looking for someone to indulge in their requirements with them. Make sure right from the start that this isn't the case.

    Dating Violence Warning Signs
    Are you going out with someone who?
    Is jealous or possessive toward you? Won't let you have friends? Checks up on you? Won't accept breaking up? Tries to control you by being bossy? Giving orders? Making all the decisions? Doesn't take you seriously?

    Is scary? You worry about how s/he will react to things you say or do? Threatens you? Uses or owns weapons?
    Is violent?has a history of fighting? Loses temper easy? Brags about mistreating others?
    Pressures you for se*x? Is forceful or scary around se*x? Thinks of you as a se*x object? Tries to guilt trip you by saying "If you really loved me you would?"? Gets too serious about the relationship too fast?
    Abuses drugs or alcohol and pressures you to take them?
    Blames you for the mistreatment they might say that you provoked him/her, pushed his/her buttons, made him/her do it, led him/her on?
    Has a history of bad relationships and always blames other people for their problems?
    Believes that in a relationship one person should be in control and have all the power and the other person should be submissive?
    Your friends and family have warned you about the person or told you they are worried about your safety?
    If this sounds familiar? get help!

    Finally, don't believe everything you read. Most online dating services ask participants to fill out long questionnaires about themselves. Women usually put a lot of thought into these, but men don't. A man may indicate that his favorite movie is When Harry Met Sally and he loves romantic walks on the beach. This will certainly attract women. But, in reality, most men would choose to watch basketball on TV over the beach walk, and Dirty Harry is a more likely contender in the "Favorite Movie" category.

    Make Sure to Delete Mr. Wrong
    "Little white lies" on someone's profile may be harmless, but there are some creeps trolling the online dating services. If you're going to cyber date, here are some screening tips to help you delete Mr. Wrong:

    Ask a man for a photo. If he doesn't send one, or keeps making up excuses, there's something wrong. Of course, if he has too many photos with his ad, that can be equally problematic.
    Ignore men who write form letters or send only a "wink" or a "rose," or who write something like "you're se*xy."
    Don't answer email from men with "player" names, such as "MeTarzan." (oops, there goes over half the people on BK, lol)

    Sherrie and Ellen also advise women not to "have se*x" online. The Rules girls say, "Delete/Next" to these men.

    A Word About Online Dating Safety
    If you meet someone online, take it slowly. You may think that you know the person because you have been corresponding via email, but remember to use common sense.

    Guard your anonymity. Most online dating services use a "double blind" system that protects your identity. Be sure not to include your last name, address, place of work, ph*one number or any other identifying information when corresponding online.
    Request a photo. Appearance can help you determine whether the person is someone you want to correspond with. If the person doesn't send a photo and makes excuses, stop corresponding with him.
    Speak on the pho*ne. While the Rules Girls advise women not to push the "relationship" from email to ph*one (let the man call you!), a pho*ne call can reveal much about a person's social skills. If you decide to speak with someone on the pho*ne, give your cell pho*ne number or ask the person for his number. Also use telephone-blocking techniques so he can't get your number through caller ID.
    Meet in a public place. If you decide to meet, choose a safe place, such as a restaurant during a busy time. Tell a friend where you're going and what time you plan to return. Give your friend the person's name and pho*ne number. Never arrange for someone to pick you up at your home or office. Take your own transportation. When the date is over, do not allow the person to follow you.
    Watch for warning signs. If a person displays anger, tries to pressure you, gives inconsistent information about himself (even age!), refuses to speak to you on the pho*ne after you've established an email correspondence, something isn't right. Move on.
    Protect yourself. If you feel uncertain about someone, get offline. If you're in a public place with a person, excuse yourself and call a friend from the ladies room and ask that person to come and meet you. If you feel unsafe, call the police. Don't be embarrassed. Be safe.
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