Bikeman- just rummaging around in old posts and found your March post in memory of your mother. Reminded me what I needed to get me through Mothers Day. Mom died in September of 1994, and Mothers Day in 1995 was tough for me too. This one has been devastating, with an anniversary on one end of the week and Mothers Day on the other, but you gave me a direction to look for help. I haven't been tracking well today. I've been forgetting what I was doing; I put primary lube in my tranny (caught it in time tho) and hadn't really had any way to come to grips with the pain. I was in the mall last night with the kids and a clerk asked us what we were doing for Mothers Day. I know my face froze up, and I hope it didn't scare her too badly. She looked like she'd just found Freddie Kreuger in the dressing room. I mumbled something and we left. I had thought I was doing OK until that point. I hope nobody minds if I post this- it was cleansing for me, and I hope it will help others who are remembering Mom instead of celebrating with her. It was on the announcements for my wife's funeral in February. We had covered about a third of the available verses at the funeral home when I found this. I closed the book and said, "This is the one." I know if I had written it, there are things I'd tighten up; and I know Springer would work his verbal voodoo on it and make it shine, but there it was, and I was in no shape to write anything. Maybe in another year or so.
Hey brother, that was a kool verse. Yea I've been hangin with friends all day and just kinda tryin to think about anything but Mother's day for the most part.. I have conversations with myself trying to convince myself I'm supposed to remember and be grateful for what I had when she was alive instead of what I lost when she passed. Sometimes I'm successful, sometimes not so much so. I can't believe it's over 10 years, sometimes it seems like yesterday, sometimes like 100 years. I wish she didn't suffer so long, I don't think that there will ever be a time where that doesn't dam near kill me to think about.
Pretty messed up, I'm 47, my kids are grown, I even have a grandson, and I still miss her more then I can say. Ah chit, enough of that, I've been fightin the funk all day at least now I know she's dancin and smilin and not suffering.
Sorry to get all blah, tuff subject for me, but reality is a muthafukka ya know??
Anyway, I try to remember what I got from her, which is most of my humor and my "don't give a fuk attitude" and be thankful that I was able to receive and give unconditional love from birth which I now know as an adult is by no means a given.
Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free
I'm following the path God laid for me.
I took His hand when I heard Him call
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day
To laugh, to love, to work or play.
Tasks undone must stay that way.
I found that peace at close of day.
If my parting has left a void
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss,
Ah yes, these things I too will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life's been full, I've savored much,
Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief,
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your hearts and share with me
God wanted me now
He set me free.
I just wanted to take a moment to wish all of the BK Mother's a very Happy Mother's Day. Today is a special day for Mother's every where, and I hope that all of you were surrounded by your loved ones and children, and showered with love and hugs.
To all my sisters and brothers out there im back... Thank you for some of the letters I recieved and for your concern.. I was very happy to hear from some of you and hope to keep in touch. Thigh thank you very much.. HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ALL......
Yes, I got the announcement today. It was dripping wet with his smile all over it...I am talking about the picture...JuiceyDeucey is staying and doing his thing..
making the ladies smile, the guys are laughing their a**es off and everyone can be themselves and live a little... or alot...
Spring is here ~Enjoy the nuts, oh sorry....Ride~