we must remember we do the best we can do with what we were given!!!!!!
be proud of yourselves for reaching the point you are in your life
i am an adult child of a very abusive alcholic father--no i never touched my kids--but i know there were things said that wasn't always nice
i stayed in a relationship toooooooo long because of MY fears--and when all the past trash fell out of what i call my feelings closet in 5/01 i realized i needed to fix ME--which i did--and i've never been happier and more content with my life--i like and love ME
my 23 yr old daughter lives with me and about 2 yrs ago told me she really likes the real me--not that she didn't like the old me--but i'm more at ease
the reason i'm back in jersey was to heal--and i'm the only person my father ever admitted to to having a problem with drinking and he finally admitted in a public forum that he was physiclly, emotionally and verbally abusive to all--i would have missed that--he passed away 4/10/03
so congrats to all that have made peace with their past
ragosa...i understand what you went thru with your dgt...after my husband died, they were still young (young teen), and yes, i did f**k up, little by little i started drinking more and more and then needed more pills and it becames a cycle of destruction....and looking back the sad part was the kids tried to save me-pick me up off the floor, ect...one time i woke up in icu with more wires and leads on me (don't even know how i got there)came around at about 4 am with my sister sitting next to me crying...did that stop me-hell no...walked out ama, and was in a bar that night..the more liquor and pills i could find-the futher away from the pain of my husband i could go---yea right---or so i thought---my sister and her husband finally came and got jake and nicole away from me, and at that time i hit rock bottom, couldn't get lower....i finally got help and well, but the damage i had done to the kids....then they entered hell, no suprise there.. my daughter for a little while and she was home and ok, my son kept falling deeper in...one time his friends called me as said he was asking for me and he wasnt looking to good-when i got there he was getting close to the edge, and i don't know how i did it, but i picked up the 6 foot man and carried him in my arms to the er, they got things working and i stayed by his side for 48 hours until he woke up....didnt scare him enough though...he had sold everything he had and stuff from his dad just to get drug and liquore money...he asked for some from me---and being so full of guilt, gave him what he asked for knowing in my heart what it was, until my daughter said mom you just have to walk away from him now if you love him...i did walk away with my heart torn out (more for him then me), and said no more help from me jake you will either make it or die....i never lit so many candles in my life and said so many prayers---because i knew in that mess of a guy was a heart of gold and a good guy....when i saw him when he came to the house to tell me something-his apperience chocked me-he had hit bottom....said he joined the navy because it he didnt he would die...his brain was always his problem for him...he was gifted and tested so high on the math and science, they placed him in the nuke program and school for two years and ran them on the aircraft carries...he went to aa, finally called and told me and asked me to go with him....i was never more proud of what he did for himself....hes out now and both kids are wonderful parents and we are like three theives in the night-we are there for it all....no one will ever take our bond away from us....i made amends where i could, as they did...the rest we had to let go...one day we were having some major money problems and i said--what the hell did we do wrong, because all the rest of the family had made so much and wanted for nothing and he gave me a hug and said we didnt do anything wrong-we just had made some bad choices., and we are the ones that have it all...we all end up where we are ment to be, some of us take the harder road....thicker heads i guess...lol....but your right-NEVER give up on them, love them, do what you have to do and yea they will hate you, but like i told them you cant hate something you never loved.....we all made it.....you all made it.......
A mother/ daughter butting heads is like the next breath you take, natural....
Some years back I almost lost her to the crack pipe and I was faced with maybe having to raise my two grandkids and never seeing my first born again. Thank God she had a brain left, had strengh and loved her kids more then the pipe!!! She still had some of her soul left, picked herself up, stopped hating me and
10 years later is still the best mom and daughter anyone could ask for. Close, hell yes we are tight!!! As a teen she stood by me as I fought dragons and she paid an awful price. As a young adult her Mom stood by her while she fought her dragons. It's all about unconditional love and
the sacred bonds of blood.... father to son, mother to daughter. When the dust clears
and settles........ Nothing else really matters to me......Nothing else ever will
nice, that is wonderful....i wish i could talk my daughter into doing it with me.....we butt heads alot also....but we are each others best friend....i wish you guys the best of luck....maybe someday we can all ride together.......