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ladies and gents,why is it men get divorced and vow to never get married again?
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Posted on Wed, Aug 31, 2005 07:46

Ok, I have given a lot of thought to this question, having been married before....I have even taken the time to have a heart to heart with my roommate Angel, I guess we both still stand on the fact that we believe in marriage, the commitment that it takes, the love the honesty and pride in knowing that person loves you enough to want to share his name. Call me old fashioned or whatever, that piece of paper will only change you if you let it, the rules don't change, people do. You either love that person for who and what they are before and after that piece of paper is signed or you don't. If you go into a marriage with thoughts of changing either parnter, you are doomed to failure. Angel and I are just old fashioned girls...marriage is important, we want a man to love us enough to be able to share his life with him and share his name. No, we aren't marrying each other....lose that thought people!! It justs happens to be what we both believe in.

  


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Posted on Wed, Aug 31, 2005 03:07


DoubleDelight write:

Tricia2005 write:
So if your current "friend", companion, boyfriend or lover is not asking for more chances are "They're Just Not That Into You"!



This is reeeeeealy getting interesting now. I'm a good guy/bad guy

Tricia: I agree 100%! "They're Just Not that into YOU."
I've been on on-line dating sites for awhile. I have met men I really liked, took it slow, only to find out they are "not into me". I prefer closure though, and when a guy doesn't tell me *why* he isn't into me, it nags at my brain. I have been finding out lately that guys in my area are telling me they are going to date a younger woman they were dating simultaneously, instead of me. Plenty of younger competition here in the Ventura,Ca area. This is the first time in my life that I have received this response from men... OUCH! I have dated guys older, younger. Age doesn't matter to me at all. I know guys are visual. So are women. That's one of the reasons why I work to stay in shape. If someone is young at heart and a great person, "It's all good." I have never experienced anything like this on-line experience. In the past, I was single/no nookie* by choice,or I had a boyfriend. I didn't do bars, except to dance, hang with friends and have a great time. I am not used to rejection. Now I know how guys have felt when they have reached out and been rejected by women they desired! My heart goes out to them!!! On-line dating is like one of those reality shows. Yuck. Too many people, some people lie, too many fish to choose from. It takes time to really get to know someone.
It's like the 5 minute dating clubs. Ridiculous! I keep thinking I'm not going to do it anymore, but after all this effort, time energy, and money, it must be 98% closer to finding a great guy.
So, I'm here on BK to make friends, ride with them, do one of things I love most in the world, and maybe, just maybe, find somebody who wants to cherish all of me.
That little *black book has come in handy. 'Friends with benefits' is fun for awhile, but where the heck is my good guy/bad guy? Out there somewhere. Doing my life and trying to let go, ride the bumps with class and dignity. Thank God made me a natural bubble. ***Bubblicious*** I can float back to the top, laughing, and moving on to do my thang.
Eyes on all the goals, having the wind at my back, sun on my face, and friends by my side.

  


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Posted on Wed, Aug 31, 2005 03:02


DoubleDelight write:
Earth Goddess-
A lot of men who have been married want total freedom to do what they want when they want with whom they want. And, they don't want to answer to anybody, get bitched at, nagged, have a woman try to change them. And, there are plenty of women who will hop in the sack, so the guys feel they have it made.
Then there are the guys who get burned, don't learn their personal lessons from it spiritually and are gun shy or so battered, they become emotionally crippled.
Then, the good news- There are guys out there who want a LTR and marriage. These are the guys who love to wake up and snuggle their woman, take great care of her, putter, make love, have fun, be faithful, loyal and supportive. They love the joys and comforts having a woman and love to be married.
I spent the last 18 years being a devoted mom. Never had a man in my bed when my son was here. I miss living with a man, miss being married. Miss the comfort, security and that special feeling that comes from having a good Honey by my side. So, I am looking. I thought I'd found it when I dated 1 guy for a year, but he just wasn't the right man for me. It was almost a year ago, so I am on the hunt for a good man. Might feel like a needle in a haystack-but I would be happy living with a good man and don't feel I have to marry, but would like to get married down the line. There is something special that happens for me when I am actually married--it creates a special bond I have only found inside of marriage. I'm done with playing the field. Inside of marriage there is a lot of freedom- to make decisions together Re monagomous, swing, whatever.
Needles in a Haystack! but they're out there and Serendipity could happen at any time!
Best
(((EG)))



I must say again I like your style!



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Posted on Wed, Aug 31, 2005 02:48

The third time for me was a real bad beat (poker term to do with the luck of the draw) took me 10 years to get over it. But i met some good women, girlfriends that didn't lead to marriage, that restored my faith in women. I also found out the things about me that led me to that fate. Seems it was more about changing me, to lead me in the right direction instead blaming others for the dissasterous outcome. Needs and desires should strive to be met, expectations should not!!! Could I be the one? You'll never know unless you check me out.

  


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Posted on Tue, Aug 30, 2005 14:19


seeme1st write:

Rdking2ride write:

beatitudes_5 write:

TR7RV write:
Remember one thing, marriage is a state of mind not a piece of paper.

you are 100% right....a piece of paper will not bind two people, the heart only has that ability.......

It seems to me that, that little piece of paper changes people. I've learned married couples takes things for granted. I've decided to part take in a better level of commitment.



i have 2 friends that wanted to celebrate their relationship--they had a commitment ceremony with friends and family attending

seeme...i have heard of people doing that before, and it works great....all the committment without the paper, and you are right, the paper does seem to change peoples atitudes toward each other and they do take the other for granted.....in being committed couples can celebrate all the same things and anniversay's that married people do, and not take each other for granted...nice answer to the question.........

  


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Posted on Tue, Aug 30, 2005 12:32


Rdking2ride write:

beatitudes_5 write:

TR7RV write:
Remember one thing, marriage is a state of mind not a piece of paper.

you are 100% right....a piece of paper will not bind two people, the heart only has that ability.......

It seems to me that, that little piece of paper changes people. I've learned married couples takes things for granted. I've decided to part take in a better level of commitment.



i have 2 friends that wanted to celebrate their relationship--they had a commitment ceremony with friends and family attending

  


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Posted on Tue, Aug 30, 2005 06:24


beatitudes_5 write:

TR7RV write:
Remember one thing, marriage is a state of mind not a piece of paper.

you are 100% right....a piece of paper will not bind two people, the heart only has that ability.......

It seems to me that, that little piece of paper changes people. I've learned married couples takes things for granted. I've decided to part take in a better level of commitment.



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Posted on Mon, Aug 29, 2005 18:59


Mahalabeya write:
I honestly feel that men are, deep down, much more easily hurt and take much longer to recover emotionally from a divorce than women. I'm not sure if I'm explaining this clearly though...Am I making any sense??



Crystal clear to this Cowboy darlin. It doesn't have to be a divorce either. I've never been hitched, but came close twice, just got hooped before I could get it done. I haven't given up hope on finding Mrs Right, just taking a break to lick my wounds and recharge my batteries. I think that at the age of most of us on here, we all have enough baggage to tote around without bringing fresh wounds into the picture.



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Posted on Wed, Aug 24, 2005 12:19

A friend of mine that does Civil marriages told me that over half of his business is re-marrying folks to their past ex!!! Wow, what a stunning statistic.

Most people I know that have said they would never remarry, do anyway.

I honestly do not think that I would remarry. But on the same hand, I have 5 young children that will be looking at me for a role model. So, I know I will also not have a serious of short meaningless relationships. I do not want to send a signal to my kids that that is what a man is.

So, who knows...



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Posted on Wed, Aug 24, 2005 08:31

Well Ive changed my tune on this marriage thing.. No longer am I looking for it, would be happy enough for a relationship much less a marriage.. haha... Marriage brings to the relationship commitment for many, but as time goes on Im thinking you can have commitment without the paper and if commitment is no longer a factor, its easier to walk away without the hassle of the divorce and settlements.. Already lost half my assets like others here and Im not willing to risk loosing more.. THis doesnt mean that I will always see it this way-for its just the state of mind Im in at this time.. Too many people nowadays rush to marriage and a year later are divorced.. To guys I think the pressure of the marriage thing puts stress on a relationship.. Im hearing from others that the LTR's can work and Im leaning that way.. Heck I sure dont want to be the 3-rd one out on someones list. lol...

  


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Posted on Mon, Aug 22, 2005 10:24


TR7RV write:
Remember one thing, marriage is a state of mind not a piece of paper.

I agree 100%! I personally have no desire or need to marry. I have been there before, and without bitterness, I have lost many of my assets. Go figure! I have worked long and hard to rebuild my life and don't want to get tied up in any legal system, ever again! I go into a relationship with a row boat and two oars, I want to leave with my row boat and two oars! And my helmet!! LOL No doubt it would be wonderful to meet a partner for a LTR, to add to my already happiness, as I would hope to return the same! Marriage is and can be a great thing, it's just not for me.

  


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Posted on Mon, Aug 22, 2005 10:06


TR7RV write:
Remember one thing, marriage is a state of mind not a piece of paper.

you are 100% right....a piece of paper will not bind two people, the heart only has that ability.......

  


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Posted on Mon, Aug 22, 2005 09:40


DoubleDelight write:

Tricia2005 write:
So if your current "friend", companion, boyfriend or lover is not asking for more chances are "They're Just Not That Into You"!



wow! you know, i honestly didn't know women had just as hard a time finding someone that men do. i guess i just always thought it was easier for women. on here for two weeks and already learning stuff!

Tricia: I agree 100%! "They're Just Not that into YOU."
I've been on on-line dating sites for awhile. I have met men I really liked, took it slow, only to find out they are "not into me". I prefer closure though, and when a guy doesn't tell me *why* he isn't into me, it nags at my brain. I have been finding out lately that guys in my area are telling me they are going to date a younger woman they were dating simultaneously, instead of me. Plenty of younger competition here in the Ventura,Ca area. This is the first time in my life that I have received this response from men... OUCH! I have dated guys older, younger. Age doesn't matter to me at all. I know guys are visual. So are women. That's one of the reasons why I work to stay in shape. If someone is young at heart and a great person, "It's all good." I have never experienced anything like this on-line experience. In the past, I was single/no nookie* by choice,or I had a boyfriend. I didn't do bars, except to dance, hang with friends and have a great time. I am not used to rejection. Now I know how guys have felt when they have reached out and been rejected by women they desired! My heart goes out to them!!! On-line dating is like one of those reality shows. Yuck. Too many people, some people lie, too many fish to choose from. It takes time to really get to know someone.
It's like the 5 minute dating clubs. Ridiculous! I keep thinking I'm not going to do it anymore, but after all this effort, time energy, and money, it must be 98% closer to finding a great guy.
So, I'm here on BK to make friends, ride with them, do one of things I love most in the world, and maybe, just maybe, find somebody who wants to cherish all of me.
That little *black book has come in handy. 'Friends with benefits' is fun for awhile, but where the heck is my good guy/bad guy? Out there somewhere. Doing my life and trying to let go, ride the bumps with class and dignity. Thank God made me a natural bubble. ***Bubblicious*** I can float back to the top, laughing, and moving on to do my thang.
Eyes on all the goals, having the wind at my back, sun on my face, and friends by my side.



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Posted on Mon, Aug 22, 2005 08:45

I honestly feel that men are, deep down, much more easily hurt and take much longer to recover emotionally from a divorce than women. I'm not sure if I'm explaining this clearly though...Am I making any sense??



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Posted on Sun, Aug 21, 2005 09:46

I'd get married every week if I could, it's a riot!

  


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Posted on Sun, Aug 21, 2005 09:39


Tricia2005 write:
So if your current "friend", companion, boyfriend or lover is not asking for more chances are "They're Just Not That Into You"!



Tricia: I agree 100%! "They're Just Not that into YOU."
I've been on on-line dating sites for awhile. I have met men I really liked, took it slow, only to find out they are "not into me". I prefer closure though, and when a guy doesn't tell me *why* he isn't into me, it nags at my brain. I have been finding out lately that guys in my area are telling me they are going to date a younger woman they were dating simultaneously, instead of me. Plenty of younger competition here in the Ventura,Ca area. This is the first time in my life that I have received this response from men... OUCH! I have dated guys older, younger. Age doesn't matter to me at all. I know guys are visual. So are women. That's one of the reasons why I work to stay in shape. If someone is young at heart and a great person, "It's all good." I have never experienced anything like this on-line experience. In the past, I was single/no nookie* by choice,or I had a boyfriend. I didn't do bars, except to dance, hang with friends and have a great time. I am not used to rejection. Now I know how guys have felt when they have reached out and been rejected by women they desired! My heart goes out to them!!! On-line dating is like one of those reality shows. Yuck. Too many people, some people lie, too many fish to choose from. It takes time to really get to know someone.
It's like the 5 minute dating clubs. Ridiculous! I keep thinking I'm not going to do it anymore, but after all this effort, time energy, and money, it must be 98% closer to finding a great guy.
So, I'm here on BK to make friends, ride with them, do one of things I love most in the world, and maybe, just maybe, find somebody who wants to cherish all of me.
That little *black book has come in handy. 'Friends with benefits' is fun for awhile, but where the heck is my good guy/bad guy? Out there somewhere. Doing my life and trying to let go, ride the bumps with class and dignity. Thank God made me a natural bubble. ***Bubblicious*** I can float back to the top, laughing, and moving on to do my thang.
Eyes on all the goals, having the wind at my back, sun on my face, and friends by my side.

  


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Posted on Sat, Aug 20, 2005 21:10

Blue, Well said,
I think most guys out there are more than willing to walk the walk when they think they 've found their dream angel.The problem lies in some of them having the ability to be honest with themselves and possibly spending some time alone instead of keeping "she's a great girl and I wish I could Love her" around for "companionship" reasons but in their souls they're still "holding out for that dream girl" thus digging deeper and deeper until years have past and they still haven't committed. (I know girls like this too fella's so don't think I'm male bashing>) I mean let's face it you know your dream mate the minute you meet them, circumstances might prevent it from being but you know them none the less. So if your current "friend", companion, boyfriend or lover is not asking for more chances are "They're Just Not That Into You"!



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Posted on Sat, Aug 20, 2005 18:05

Ok Earthgirl.....you've heard from the men......NOW you need to hear from a woman!
I've been married twice.........the first one left me (while I was pregnant) for the BABYSITTER! She thru his butt out after a couple of months.
I was married to the second one for 21 years before he said "I want to be single again and move to Florida....duh......" (I did NOT let the door hit him in the a_s when he stumbled out the door.......)
Now darlin.......ya gotta know that we women have brains (yes we do babe....)and that we have jobs, and own our own homes........and we don't really want to take on the responsibility of another man who's 'needy', ya know?
We want to live our lives........ride with our friends.......party when we want to....and then come home and relax (with or without a 'friend.....' )
I don't know any other women who want to hook up permanently anymore...............Girls Just Want To Have Fun, huh? LOL!!!!!
So sister......just enjoy your life and enjoy your friends. If a special guy should come along......be nice......take it slow.......and enjoy. All good things will come to you. Ride safe sister! ~Blue~

  


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Posted on Sat, Aug 20, 2005 16:21

Remember one thing, marriage is a state of mind not a piece of paper.



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Posted on Sat, Aug 20, 2005 14:58

Well I have been married three times twice to the first ex yeah yeah i know , dont have to tell me duh,, for me its tiring mentally ,physically and that my heart cant take another beating,,, just eaiser to stay single but miss the intimacy of the heart and mind, ,



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