ladies and gents,why is it men get divorced and vow to never get married again? Message board

  • View author's info Author posted on Aug 18, 2005 20:09

    ok this is really chappin my hide, i have never walked the walk down the isle, guys i have dated that have been married vow to never get married gain,now why do they let one or two bad apples ruin the whole bunch?
  • 39Comments

  • View author's info posted on Mar 10, 2007 11:13

    I agree with Electra.. what the H**ll .......... moving your stuff to my place and taking over, DO NOT think sooooooooooooo. LOL
    that is why I keep my place he keeps his and we stay over each others on weekends ( well that is when I am in a relationship, teehee) or not, *SMILES*

    It is not just men, it is woman too.. when one gets hurt they do not want to go there again,,, so they tred very lightly. some ppl you get too close they run, we woman run too. but sometimes you meet that special someone and it could be good so you try, but ...
    my theory is live with um at their place and your place. Love um, have fun; but marry again, not this gal.

    People can fall in love with different interests but most times you have some of the same or should, It is healthy to have different things you like. Not always being together 24/7. There are many ways to make things work when you find he likes this a lil bit different than I and it is called > come on people now you know it.. you learned it in school many years ago, think now, teeheee

    Ride safe,
  • View author's info posted on Mar 02, 2007 15:34

    Wow, Hossy I'm impressed with your insight.
  • View author's info posted on Feb 25, 2007 21:55

    What I hate is if they move in with you. Your kitchen and bathroom are getting re-decorated. You can have brand new stuff, but if it is not the right color of the month you will be spending a ton to get it. I am not trying to be a smart punk, but it is a clash I do not want to go through again. I have a new independance about myself that I do not want to give up. I have in the past to end up alone again, so I am not interested in giving up a happy routine to end up in a divorce again.
  • View author's info posted on Feb 22, 2007 23:39

    When you play with fire and get burned you think twice before sticking you hand in the flame.
  • View author's info posted on Feb 03, 2007 13:35

    ridinsolo write:
    hay..i can't even "get any" never mind a trip to the alter

    Perhaps you should let someone else pet the
  • View author's info posted on Jan 22, 2007 06:19

    hey just got married on new year's eve...just get a prenup!!! LOL
  • View author's info posted on Jan 01, 2007 22:38

    hay..i can't even "get any" never mind a trip to the alter
  • View author's info posted on Dec 22, 2006 18:39

    Hey "Earthgoddess" just thought i'd tell yea I grew up in "Addison" . was a great place to grow up in back in my day, still stay in touch with a few of the ole Addison bunch !
    Hope you find a nice guy !
    Pete the Greek
  • View author's info posted on Dec 19, 2006 19:55

    Take a lesson from the beast of the field....they fight for territory, with of course one agenda in mind, and that is to gather a herd, to procreate..

    Back in our world, Man has figured out that he can not do that, although instinctive to a cell here dictates our behavior in dollars

    I would have to say that it has a lot to do with the fact, Men have more to lose.....Annie
  • View author's info posted on Dec 18, 2006 22:20

    Interesting question. In order to really answer it I'd first have to ponder the idea of getting married again....

    My marriage was a good one, to be sure, and leaves me with many warm memories, but to do it again? I can't think of a reason why I would want to do that, and I can think of a lot of reasons why I wouldn't want to do that. It's not a matter of "a few bad apples spoiling it for the rest." It's more a matter of starting to realize that all the heart-to-heart-soul-mate-love-me-forever stuff just ain't in me anymore.
  • View author's info posted on Dec 16, 2006 06:52

    I feel the same way. I have been married twice and admit that both were not good decisions but thats water over the dam now. In any case I want to have an exclusive long term relationship and live with someone just cant do the paper thing again. I have done lots of soul seaching the last 4 years and know what I seek in a mate for now and forever. ANY MALE TAKERS??? :)
  • View author's info posted on Dec 13, 2006 16:38

    IT Only takes one or two bad relationship and thats just in dating to know marriage is just a piece of paper ...when two can talk to each other with heart and soul is when they are one and that not a paper saying so it body mind and soul with a heart thats one
  • View author's info posted on Nov 14, 2006 20:15

    howboutnick write:
    Already bitten twice and for what? So the church recognizes you? I dont think so. I dont think people put enough into marriage for one thing and the other is its too damn easy to get out.My concern is whats going to happen to our kids and the future generations?

    Re:The laws were changed...and now the divorce is as easy as going through a fast food line.
  • View author's info posted on Nov 14, 2006 20:13

    speedyjerry write:
    I'd get married every week if I could, it's a riot!

    *S* I love your attitude and wish more could say it with a smile.
  • View author's info posted on Aug 31, 2005 08:30

    Weenie, what a unique concept! : )
    That two could think so much of each other, they'd want it for the rest of their days? !!! Mercy !
    The other day in a store, I saw a little old couple walking arm in arm. When they looked at each other, the love on their faces was obvious. You could tell that she was still seeing that handsome young man, who proposed marriage so long ago and in his eyes she was still that blushing bride, that he took to their wedding bed.
    I'll take a double helping of whatever they are having. Thank you.
  • View author's info posted on Aug 31, 2005 07:46

    Ok, I have given a lot of thought to this question, having been married before....I have even taken the time to have a heart to heart with my roommate Angel, I guess we both still stand on the fact that we believe in marriage, the commitment that it takes, the love the honesty and pride in knowing that person loves you enough to want to share his name. Call me old fashioned or whatever, that piece of paper will only change you if you let it, the rules don't change, people do. You either love that person for who and what they are before and after that piece of paper is signed or you don't. If you go into a marriage with thoughts of changing either parnter, you are doomed to failure. Angel and I are just old fashioned girls...marriage is important, we want a man to love us enough to be able to share his life with him and share his name. No, we aren't marrying each other....lose that thought people!! It justs happens to be what we both believe in.
  • View author's info posted on Aug 31, 2005 03:07

    DoubleDelight write:

    Tricia2005 write:
    So if your current "friend", companion, boyfriend or lover is not asking for more chances are "They're Just Not That Into You"!

    This is reeeeeealy getting interesting now. I'm a good guy/bad guy

    Tricia: I agree 100%! "They're Just Not that into YOU."
    I've been on on-line dating sites for awhile. I have met men I really liked, took it slow, only to find out they are "not into me". I prefer closure though, and when a guy doesn't tell me *why* he isn't into me, it nags at my brain. I have been finding out lately that guys in my area are telling me they are going to date a younger woman they were dating simultaneously, instead of me. Plenty of younger competition here in the Ventura,Ca area. This is the first time in my life that I have received this response from men... OUCH! I have dated guys older, younger. Age doesn't matter to me at all. I know guys are visual. So are women. That's one of the reasons why I work to stay in shape. If someone is young at heart and a great person, "It's all good." I have never experienced anything like this on-line experience. In the past, I was single/no nookie* by choice,or I had a boyfriend. I didn't do bars, except to dance, hang with friends and have a great time. I am not used to rejection. Now I know how guys have felt when they have reached out and been rejected by women they desired! My heart goes out to them!!! On-line dating is like one of those reality shows. Yuck. Too many people, some people lie, too many fish to choose from. It takes time to really get to know someone.
    It's like the 5 minute dating clubs. Ridiculous! I keep thinking I'm not going to do it anymore, but after all this effort, time energy, and money, it must be 98% closer to finding a great guy.
    So, I'm here on BK to make friends, ride with them, do one of things I love most in the world, and maybe, just maybe, find somebody who wants to cherish all of me.
    That little *black book has come in handy. 'Friends with benefits' is fun for awhile, but where the heck is my good guy/bad guy? Out there somewhere. Doing my life and trying to let go, ride the bumps with class and dignity. Thank God made me a natural bubble. ***Bubblicious*** I can float back to the top, laughing, and moving on to do my thang.
    Eyes on all the goals, having the wind at my back, sun on my face, and friends by my side.

  • View author's info posted on Aug 31, 2005 03:02

    DoubleDelight write:
    Earth Goddess-
    A lot of men who have been married want total freedom to do what they want when they want with whom they want. And, they don't want to answer to anybody, get bitched at, nagged, have a woman try to change them. And, there are plenty of women who will hop in the sack, so the guys feel they have it made.
    Then there are the guys who get burned, don't learn their personal lessons from it spiritually and are gun shy or so battered, they become emotionally crippled.
    Then, the good news- There are guys out there who want a LTR and marriage. These are the guys who love to wake up and snuggle their woman, take great care of her, putter, make love, have fun, be faithful, loyal and supportive. They love the joys and comforts having a woman and love to be married.
    I spent the last 18 years being a devoted mom. Never had a man in my bed when my son was here. I miss living with a man, miss being married. Miss the comfort, security and that special feeling that comes from having a good Honey by my side. So, I am looking. I thought I'd found it when I dated 1 guy for a year, but he just wasn't the right man for me. It was almost a year ago, so I am on the hunt for a good man. Might feel like a needle in a haystack-but I would be happy living with a good man and don't feel I have to marry, but would like to get married down the line. There is something special that happens for me when I am actually married--it creates a special bond I have only found inside of marriage. I'm done with playing the field. Inside of marriage there is a lot of freedom- to make decisions together Re monagomous, swing, whatever.
    Needles in a Haystack! but they're out there and Serendipity could happen at any time!

    I must say again I like your style!
  • View author's info posted on Aug 31, 2005 02:48

    The third time for me was a real bad beat (poker term to do with the luck of the draw) took me 10 years to get over it. But i met some good women, girlfriends that didn't lead to marriage, that restored my faith in women. I also found out the things about me that led me to that fate. Seems it was more about changing me, to lead me in the right direction instead blaming others for the dissasterous outcome. Needs and desires should strive to be met, expectations should not!!! Could I be the one? You'll never know unless you check me out.
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