~~ Pity ... OR ... Strength ~~ Romance

  • View author's info Author posted on Apr 02, 2005 08:48

    Are men more into a woman that is the "Poor me, I'm so misunderstood and abused ... Nobody loves me, Please love me" type of person?
    OR ...
    "Damn! Life has been one helluva ride so far and, I'm ready for another Wild Ride to see what the next JOURNEY brings my way baby!

    Do you guys like to play the
    "Knight On Shining Chrome" role?
  • 19Comments

  • View author's info posted on Apr 03, 2005 22:31

    I wouldn't do that to your x!!!
  • View author's info posted on Apr 03, 2005 10:10

    right nodey--i'm a survivior not a victim--sooooooo please don't treat me that way!!!!!!
  • View author's info posted on Apr 03, 2005 08:59

    i am re-writting this-reason is it made no sence-wrote it last night, half aspeep....i do not like people that pity themselfs to the point of self destruction-we all can use a pity-pat once in a while, but bite the bullet and move on-i love a guy who is strong in will and constitution, and can let me do and try things i want, but lets me know he is right there if i ever need him, no questions asked.. even when he knows i'm gonna mess it up, he just has that little smirk on his face..and i like to do it for them also...my husband was strong in humor, could find something funny in anything, i guess if you can laugh,thats strength.......
  • View author's info posted on Apr 03, 2005 08:15

    bikeman--sounds like your 2nd ex and my ex belong together

    to him what the world thought of him was more important than what was going on within the family

    priorities(sp)--boundries--they are instilled if at all by family of orgin

    we need to deal with feelings--before they snowball
  • View author's info posted on Apr 03, 2005 06:00

    No No...please don't everrrrrrrr pity me.
    There's nothing worse to me than a pitiful person. Falling down is not failing,staying down is. But that's another story altogether.

    I better get to bed...up all night and now i'm rambling.
  • View author's info posted on Apr 02, 2005 23:29


    It certainly was!! They are the only 3 miracles I have witnessed in my life!!
  • View author's info posted on Apr 02, 2005 23:27

  • View author's info posted on Apr 02, 2005 23:26

    Ya know what all of our comments are amounting to is brainstorming and therapy all at the same time!! How is it that we can all figure things out so clearly when just essentially having a cyber BS session but most of us, I know myself anyway, make so dam many mistakes in the process of life!! I guess it's just the process we all go thru. My 2nd wife used to b i t c h because I talk about everything with my friends and my sister, I always have. I always figured that was why I didn't need therapy!! She had this tendancy to want everything to be a secret, I couldn't be bothered for one I only talked to people that I trusted about really intimate things and for another I learned a long time ago keeping things in just leads to explosions down the road with most people!! If you just keep eating the day to day BS that happens in a relationship without some kind of definitive resolution, sooner or later it's going to cause a nasty explosion. At least that's my take on it, dam I am long winded!!!
  • View author's info posted on Apr 02, 2005 21:14

    Pity or strength...hmmmm

    The individual needs of one will need the complimenting desires of the other.

    I was (am) a very independant strong woman. My husband was more strong than me.
    A weaker man I would have rode right over him. Altho my husband was 'stronger' than me he never let me become dependant on him or try to rule over him either.

    It's a balance...some men need that 'woe is me' woman..some need that woman who has the 'whip in hand'.

    The problem arises when the needs of one does not match the needs of another.

    That's why I am such an advocate of just be yourself. I like me..don't try to change me. Now when that person comes along that likes me...just how I am..then there's a chance.
  • View author's info posted on Apr 02, 2005 20:04

    bikeman--you are the definition of what a real man is!!!!!

    so keep up the good work!!!!!
    you are few and far between

    my ex was good at the birth of mine--my daughter was born at home--my son was born in the back seat of a pea green plymouth fury station wagon-and yes hospital after
    at the hospital after my daughters birth her dad gave her a red rose--he didn't ever want any man other then himself to be the 1st to give her a rose
    and yes i did think he was great at that time
    but things change and life throws us the curves we live with
  • View author's info posted on Apr 02, 2005 18:05


    I'd say you make allot of sense to me. I'll tell you the truth I was there for the birth of all 3 of my children, Hell #2 was born in the back seat of our car, I had to catch hime when he shot out, but the one thing all 3 of them had in common is I cried as they came out. I cannot imagine not being moved to the point of tears at the sight of the birth of your own child!! I know allot of friends of mine over the years have given me a hard time about that but I truely couldn't give a rat's posterior what they thought as far a something like that!!

    Now by the same token I've been stabbed, shot, hit by cars , dumped my bike and always came up swinging , never give up at anything or anyone I care about..

    I'm thinkin kinda like you said right??

    OK..I need a beer

    Rainy Saturdays sux!!
  • View author's info posted on Apr 02, 2005 17:59

    I think a well balanced person looks for the same in a mate. Any relationship is about flexability. If a person is to far either way emotionally how can they be any more then a giver or a taker.
  • View author's info posted on Apr 02, 2005 17:48

    I too am a strong independent woman. I have had to be since I lost my husband when my children were babies. I had to be the bread winner, a lone parent. I made sure my Son was competitive in sports. I taught him how to play basketball, baseball, golf, water ski, snow ski. Sure, I devoted my life to my kids. Now my kids are grown. Do I NEED a man? H E L L no, I have learned how to fend for myself. Would I like a man to share life? Most certainly. I prefer a man who is strong over a guy who is wishy-washy.... but, I like a man who has a soft and sensitive side... a man who sheds a tear of joy at the birth of his first born son and feels no shame in it. A man who feels the joys as well as the sorrows and doesn't try to mask those feelings. Some men think it is unmanly to show this side of themselves. I think a real man knows differently.
  • View author's info posted on Apr 02, 2005 17:10

    don't change--we all have the right to our opinions
  • View author's info posted on Apr 02, 2005 16:00

    I total agree with two people beeing partners and by no means would ever think that it is my way or no way or anything of the sort. That is not what I mean at all. But, even the most equal and best of partners must have someone that will take the burden or flack of a decision when both cant come to an agreement. I also realize that this situation is extremely rare and may never arise, and I also realize the way I think is probably not the popular nor the politicaly correct way but it's just me. Good or bad. I have never been one to respond to something on the basis of someone likeing my response or not. If it is something I feel strong enough about to reply I just let the heart go and let the chips fall where they may. I'm sure I have said to much already:)
  • View author's info posted on Apr 02, 2005 14:47

    i want a man that compliments me
    i don't need a man that completes me--i am a complete person
    duece says it well-partners

    i think compromise is important but i do not believe that anyone should have the final say--all needs to be discussed--just because i'm female doesn't mean someone has the right to make any decisions that affects me without my approval

    win-win situations no one goes away with hurt feelings
  • View author's info posted on Apr 02, 2005 12:00

    Assuming we are talking about being in a relationship and not just casual friends or dating, My opinion on this is that I would like my lady to be able to solve her on problems, get herself what she wants or needs without having to come to me for it but still not be ashamed nor afraid to come to me for anything. I won't someone that is happy and proud to be the women in the relationship and not try to be the man to.

    Someone that realizes that there is a differance in a man and a women and is content with being the women. I hope this doesnt sound bad but when it comes to the relationship decisions I would want someone that can discuss and comprimize on these but if someone needs to make the final decision I will make it and be the one responsible if it is the wrong one. I'm sure this sounds old fashion but I still believe the there are differant roles for men and women in a relationship neither more important than the other, just differant.

    I try to base everything in my relationship off of the foundation of respect. I think if each respects the others role in a relationship then it will last forever. Its when respect is lost is when the rest crumbles.

    Just my opinion tho
  • View author's info posted on Apr 02, 2005 11:16

    Its a woman who has strength for me. A woman who can stand on her own two feet and takes what life has to offer. The woman who has the strength to take care of herself will also have a lot more love in her hart to give. This is why Im here to find a lady that will love me for who I am as I will love her for who she is. Not for what I have or can give her. As for being a kinght I can only rescue her hart from loneliness.
  • View author's info posted on Apr 02, 2005 09:24

    Do you guys like to play the
    "Knight On Shining Chrome" role?
    Interesting Subject!
    Me thinks, Some guys are intimitated by strong women that seem to not need a man for nuthin! I just like men, I love a man around the house,I may not need him to stay alive,but I want him to feel alive!KNIGHTS ON SHINNING CHROME RULE!!!!
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