~~ Pity ... OR ... Strength ~~ Romance Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on Apr 02, 2005 at 08:48 AM

    Are men more into a woman that is the "Poor me, I'm so misunderstood and abused ... Nobody loves me, Please love me" type of person?
    OR ...
    "Damn! Life has been one helluva ride so far and, I'm ready for another Wild Ride to see what the next JOURNEY brings my way baby!

    Do you guys like to play the
    "Knight On Shining Chrome" role?
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  • 24Comments

  • View author's info Posted on Apr 03, 2005 at 10:31 PM

    I wouldn't do that to your x!!!
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 03, 2005 at 10:10 AM

    right nodey--i'm a survivior not a victim--sooooooo please don't treat me that way!!!!!!
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 03, 2005 at 08:59 AM

    i am re-writting this-reason is it made no sence-wrote it last night, half aspeep....i do not like people that pity themselfs to the point of self destruction-we all can use a pity-pat once in a while, but bite the bullet and move on-i love a guy who is strong in will and constitution, and can let me do and try things i want, but lets me know he is right there if i ever need him, no questions asked.. even when he knows i'm gonna mess it up, he just has that little smirk on his face..and i like to do it for them also...my husband was strong in humor, could find something funny in anything, i guess if you can laugh,thats strength.......
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 03, 2005 at 08:15 AM

    bikeman--sounds like your 2nd ex and my ex belong together

    to him what the world thought of him was more important than what was going on within the family

    priorities(sp)--boundries--they are instilled if at all by family of orgin

    we need to deal with feelings--before they snowball
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 03, 2005 at 06:00 AM

    No No...please don't everrrrrrrr pity me.
    There's nothing worse to me than a pitiful person. Falling down is not failing,staying down is. But that's another story altogether.

    I better get to bed...up all night and now i'm rambling.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 02, 2005 at 11:29 PM


    It certainly was!! They are the only 3 miracles I have witnessed in my life!!
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 02, 2005 at 11:27 PM

  • View author's info Posted on Apr 02, 2005 at 11:26 PM

    Ya know what all of our comments are amounting to is brainstorming and therapy all at the same time!! How is it that we can all figure things out so clearly when just essentially having a cyber BS session but most of us, I know myself anyway, make so dam many mistakes in the process of life!! I guess it's just the process we all go thru. My 2nd wife used to b i t c h because I talk about everything with my friends and my sister, I always have. I always figured that was why I didn't need therapy!! She had this tendancy to want everything to be a secret, I couldn't be bothered for one I only talked to people that I trusted about really intimate things and for another I learned a long time ago keeping things in just leads to explosions down the road with most people!! If you just keep eating the day to day BS that happens in a relationship without some kind of definitive resolution, sooner or later it's going to cause a nasty explosion. At least that's my take on it, dam I am long winded!!!
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 02, 2005 at 09:14 PM

    Pity or strength...hmmmm

    The individual needs of one will need the complimenting desires of the other.

    I was (am) a very independant strong woman. My husband was more strong than me.
    A weaker man I would have rode right over him. Altho my husband was 'stronger' than me he never let me become dependant on him or try to rule over him either.

    It's a balance...some men need that 'woe is me' woman..some need that woman who has the 'whip in hand'.

    The problem arises when the needs of one does not match the needs of another.

    That's why I am such an advocate of just be yourself. I like me..don't try to change me. Now when that person comes along that likes me...just how I am..then there's a chance.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 02, 2005 at 08:04 PM

    bikeman--you are the definition of what a real man is!!!!!

    so keep up the good work!!!!!
    you are few and far between

    my ex was good at the birth of mine--my daughter was born at home--my son was born in the back seat of a pea green plymouth fury station wagon-and yes hospital after
    at the hospital after my daughters birth her dad gave her a red rose--he didn't ever want any man other then himself to be the 1st to give her a rose
    and yes i did think he was great at that time
    but things change and life throws us the curves we live with
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 02, 2005 at 07:57 PM

    Very well said, Lady V. There are men out there that will reveal that soft and sensitive side but they are rare.

    And bikeman, what a treat! To be there for the birth of all 3 kids is wonderful.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 02, 2005 at 06:05 PM


    I'd say you make allot of sense to me. I'll tell you the truth I was there for the birth of all 3 of my children, Hell #2 was born in the back seat of our car, I had to catch hime when he shot out, but the one thing all 3 of them had in common is I cried as they came out. I cannot imagine not being moved to the point of tears at the sight of the birth of your own child!! I know allot of friends of mine over the years have given me a hard time about that but I truely couldn't give a rat's posterior what they thought as far a something like that!!

    Now by the same token I've been stabbed, shot, hit by cars , dumped my bike and always came up swinging , never give up at anything or anyone I care about..

    I'm thinkin kinda like you said right??

    OK..I need a beer

    Rainy Saturdays sux!!
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 02, 2005 at 05:59 PM

    I think a well balanced person looks for the same in a mate. Any relationship is about flexability. If a person is to far either way emotionally how can they be any more then a giver or a taker.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 02, 2005 at 05:48 PM

    I too am a strong independent woman. I have had to be since I lost my husband when my children were babies. I had to be the bread winner, a lone parent. I made sure my Son was competitive in sports. I taught him how to play basketball, baseball, golf, water ski, snow ski. Sure, I devoted my life to my kids. Now my kids are grown. Do I NEED a man? H E L L no, I have learned how to fend for myself. Would I like a man to share life? Most certainly. I prefer a man who is strong over a guy who is wishy-washy.... but, I like a man who has a soft and sensitive side... a man who sheds a tear of joy at the birth of his first born son and feels no shame in it. A man who feels the joys as well as the sorrows and doesn't try to mask those feelings. Some men think it is unmanly to show this side of themselves. I think a real man knows differently.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 02, 2005 at 05:10 PM

    don't change--we all have the right to our opinions
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 02, 2005 at 04:00 PM

    I total agree with two people beeing partners and by no means would ever think that it is my way or no way or anything of the sort. That is not what I mean at all. But, even the most equal and best of partners must have someone that will take the burden or flack of a decision when both cant come to an agreement. I also realize that this situation is extremely rare and may never arise, and I also realize the way I think is probably not the popular nor the politicaly correct way but it's just me. Good or bad. I have never been one to respond to something on the basis of someone likeing my response or not. If it is something I feel strong enough about to reply I just let the heart go and let the chips fall where they may. I'm sure I have said to much already:)
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 02, 2005 at 03:22 PM

    I am looking for some one that understands my need to ride that is why I am here. But she must also be able to stand beside me and face the world. Snuggle up to me when she needs comfort as i would like to snuggle up to her for the same thing.Not looking for Barbie just some one that will accept me as i am as I would like to be able to accept you.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 02, 2005 at 02:47 PM

    i want a man that compliments me
    i don't need a man that completes me--i am a complete person
    duece says it well-partners

    i think compromise is important but i do not believe that anyone should have the final say--all needs to be discussed--just because i'm female doesn't mean someone has the right to make any decisions that affects me without my approval

    win-win situations no one goes away with hurt feelings
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 02, 2005 at 02:04 PM

    I've had to be very strong for a long time in life. I'm independent and self-sufficient. But I still like a man who can hold his own with me in terms of strength and will and even go me one better. That's just me. I know it's old-fashioned and maybe archaic, but I don't want to be able to rule over a man. There's still some of that old Southern Baptist background type of thinking that I haven't been able to shake. I'm not saying it's right. But I just like a man who is really strong.

    In terms of taking care of, well, we can each take care of each other, each in our own way, treating each with respect. I don't want to be taken care of like a little girl. I don't need a daddy. On the other hand, I don't want to be anyone's mama, except my 12-year old son.

    But if a knight on shining chrome is a strong, stable, dependable man who can go toe to toe with me when I'm being feisty, and can put his foot down at times(I think that's kind of sexy), and will stick to his guns at times, well, yeah, I like that. I always want to be treated like a fair lady. I'm not interested in being a "princess."
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