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Posted on Mon, Jan 30, 2006 12:52

Harleys1Angel write:
OK....confession time...don't even know who or if anyone is going to read this..but here it goes..

I met someone I REALLY liked on a christian dating site..gorgeous man...godly man...I KNEW he really liked me and the feeling was mutual..we were just getting to know eachother after about 2 months..the whole thing just felt right..

We started talking on the just before going to NY and I think I made a HUGE mistake..

My first post on this thread was a confession of wanting to do good or be a bad girl...blah blah blah...well...

I am on something called livejournal and basically you say anything you want on it just to relieve stress or say what is on your heart...it's a live journal. So during this last little phase of mine I said some things that weren't well let's just say should come from a christian girls mouth! If he only knew all of it! Man!

So he read it...I think I just lost the guy I am supposed to be with!! Dammn!!! He wrote me when I came back from NY and dumped me flat on my A$$!! Out of the blue...I am sooooooo upset right now...havent stopped crying since I've been back.

That's exactly why I have stopped judging people for what they do or don't do as far as "sinning" is concerned. It just makes them feel bad. I feel like I wasn't "good" enough for him....you know what a terrible feeling that is? I am so upset!!!!! I just feel like ..well...being a complete sh!thead like I used to be!!!!!! It is no friggin good to even be honest anymore! F@CK SH!T F@CK ME RUNNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

H1A you said this man was a godly man that dont mean he was a good christian . We allknow a good christian wouldnt or shouldnt be judge and jury in how otherslive or lived { JUDGE YE NOT LEAST YE BE JUDGED } this person is the big loser in this . Dont ever sell your self short thinking your not good enough. You confided in him and he sold him self short by not being able to look beyond what you told him no matter what it was . I met you talked with you and laughed with you I found you to be a wonderful person that is when our friendship started not the day before or the years before they dont matter . If he was right for you he would be walking beside you and proud to call you his mate if that is what it turned out to be . Like the song says some of GODS greatest gifts are unanswered prayers . You will find that to be true when you look at it with out the emotions your feeling now . When you look in the mirror of your life and you can say you love and like what you have become and have done with your life then you have taken the first steps in becomeing a good person in GOD'S eye . We all give the people we meet a present that present is us if they choose to unwrap it they may find the treasure they have been looking for all their lives . Keep that wonderful smile and good luck you hve nothing but time on your side .



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Posted on Mon, Jan 30, 2006 12:01

MoonNStarz3X3 write:

stillme67 write:

MoonNStarz3X3 write:
You're welcome H1A! To answer your question, no..I'm not Christian. I was raised in a strict Italian Catholic household, and was turned off by the Catholic church at a young age. I'm not a subscriber of any organized religion, although I'm a very spiritual person. Yes, the Christian aspect with my ex's family was a bit of an issue, but there were other things as well....too much to get into on this thread! I'll tell ya all about it one day if you have several hours to kill...LOL



i'm curious, do you still consider yourself Catholic even though you may not subscribe to all their beliefs?
"in nomine patri et filii et spiritus sancti" - is that right?

No, I don't consider myself to be Catholic....there are too many things that upset me about the church. However, my own faith is still deeply rooted in what was taught to me as a child. There was a real low point in my life where I felt so abandonded by so-called "good Catholics" , I just about didn't believe in anything...until God helped me pick myself up & gave me a strength I never knew I had. Bottom line is...I have my own personal relationship with God & I guess I don't feel I need the vehicle of the church to bring me closer....it just gets in the way, does that make any sense? And yes..."in nomine patri et filii et spiritus sancti" is right!

It's about relationship..NOT religion...**HUGS** and if God wants to bring you into ANY church He certainly knows how to get you there! and what does that "simikicus sparticu semis" stuff mean?



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Posted on Mon, Jan 30, 2006 10:31

MoonNStarz3X3 write:
You're welcome H1A! To answer your question, no..I'm not Christian. I was raised in a strict Italian Catholic household, and was turned off by the Catholic church at a young age. I'm not a subscriber of any organized religion, although I'm a very spiritual person. Yes, the Christian aspect with my ex's family was a bit of an issue, but there were other things as well....too much to get into on this thread! I'll tell ya all about it one day if you have several hours to kill...LOL


i'm curious, do you still consider yourself Catholic even though you may not subscribe to all their beliefs?
"in nomine patri et filii et spiritus sancti" - is that right?



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Posted on Mon, Jan 30, 2006 06:29

I'm not a person of words, I don't express myself well in public especially in forums where I can't see the reactions of those I'm speaking to. This is the first time I've read this thread and its seems to be at the right time. Interesting how people and "things" come into our lives at the appointed time.

Christi, I've felt as you have. I've been where you are, all too often. Actually working though it right now. I've let the actions of some hurt me and put cracks in my confidence and self-esteem. To read all these posts has been very helpful, still hurting but I try to understand that their actions are not a reflection of myself but of them. To be going on "happily" in a "relationship" only to have them just disappear without a word. No return calls, no return emails, nothing to tell me what it is that I've done wrong. I try to remember that it's not what I've done but it how they have judged me. Still hurts, still plays havoc with my self-esteem. Still working on myself and loving myself and not worrying about how others "perceive" me.

Thank you for starting this thread and opening your heart. It has helped me.

  


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Posted on Mon, Jan 30, 2006 06:25

mspyder write:
Christi,
I'm very sorry to read that things did not work out with this man. When I have felt similar feelings as you did and things do not work out it seems like it takes me a long time to recover from that.
Seeme brought up something that haunts me from time to time. The first time I feel in love was I was 18 years old this woman hung with me thru Vietnam but when I got home I was such a mess and I have not seen her since I was in the hospital after I got home. I wonder sometimes if that was my only shot at love because it has sure been a struggle since then.
I believe my higher power has a plan for me, I don't think it was just to be a counselor for 29 years and to give back what I took. My good friend she keeps telling me I will met the right person some day. That seems to take a lot of faith. I have a very dirty past before I sobered up and I know it still hangs there sometimes and I think I do not deserve, I hope that makes sense.
Hang in there,
Mike


Mike

WE ALL HAVE A PAST--I'VE SAID IT IN ANOTHER FORUM--WE ARE HARDER ON OURSELVES THAN WE ARE ON OUR FRIENDS WE NEED TO CRADLE AND FORGIVE OURSELVES AS WE DO OUR FRIENDS AND ACQUAINTANCES

you and i come from an era that families had their dirty little secrets

i was once told never to talk about certain things because NO DECENT MAN WOULD WANT ME--that statement allowed me to accept unacceptable behavior and i need to make sure i keep it in check--i need to make sure i take the time to be in touch with my feelings

Mike dear--if you were supposed to be with your 1st love--you would be--and as your friend says--there will be a woman that will sweep you off your feet and vice versa--and until then--keep the wind in your face and the rubber to the road!!!!!

hugs and kisses to you



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Posted on Mon, Jan 30, 2006 06:08

Christi,
I'm very sorry to read that things did not work out with this man. When I have felt similar feelings as you did and things do not work out it seems like it takes me a long time to recover from that.
Seeme brought up something that haunts me from time to time. The first time I feel in love was I was 18 years old this woman hung with me thru Vietnam but when I got home I was such a mess and I have not seen her since I was in the hospital after I got home. I wonder sometimes if that was my only shot at love because it has sure been a struggle since then.
I believe my higher power has a plan for me, I don't think it was just to be a counselor for 29 years and to give back what I took. My good friend she keeps telling me I will met the right person some day. That seems to take a lot of faith. I have a very dirty past before I sobered up and I know it still hangs there sometimes and I think I do not deserve, I hope that makes sense.
Hang in there,
Mike



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Posted on Sun, Jan 29, 2006 23:49

Cut write:
Hey Beautiful, You said what was in your heart and I
m sure unloaded what was needed. If he doesn
t understand or thinks he
s better than you, you
re better off that he
s gone. Chin up, i
m proud of "YOU" Christi and proud to have you as a friend!!!

I'm proud to have you as a friend too...thank you David.



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Posted on Sun, Jan 29, 2006 22:28

Hey Beautiful, You said what was in your heart and I
m sure unloaded what was needed. If he doesn
t understand or thinks he
s better than you, you
re better off that he
s gone. Chin up, i
m proud of "YOU" Christi and proud to have you as a friend!!!



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Posted on Sun, Jan 29, 2006 21:23

i think that we belong to soul groups and there are several partners in that group--but not necessarily at every point in our lifes

we change throughout life--our needs and wants change--so we may meet someone today that would be a good mutual match but that doesn't keep us from growing apart

if we are lucky enough to meet our soulmates we can't take that for granted and need to make sure we work on the relationship--keeping it fresh and make it the most important earthy relationship--not take the other for granted--communicating feelings and listening to the others feelings



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Posted on Sun, Jan 29, 2006 21:07

WOW Seeme..thank you..it's neat to think of it that way..

OK...I have another question to ask the panel here...

Do you believe that there are soul mates...1 person in this life just for you?

or...

We could be with several different people and truly be "in love" with several and we then just chose who we want to be with?

Personally I don't know this answer...but what I would WANT the answer to be is that there is one man made especially for me to be with...divinely appointed...meant to be........**SIGH**



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Posted on Sun, Jan 29, 2006 20:59

H1A

i have truely loved a person i dated in high school--i ran because of his words when he was using(i'm ACOA) and i was wise and knew what would have happened had i not

we re-met when i was 1st seperated(he was in recovery for over 20 yrs) and we dated for 8 mths--i truely love him and realized i always did---he judged me based on my actions that were similiar to his ex-wife's--at that time i was going thru emotional hell

i to this day and till the day i die will always love him--i don't think i would ever trust him with me again--butttttttttt if he ever needed me i would be there for him

looking at it i think some of the lessons were this

we all can love more than one person at one time--the love we have for each person is unique and of its own right

i can also love someone enough to let them go--if we are meant to be we will--but his happiness is more important to me than him being with me--and something he once told me--sometimes to forgive we need to understand

if we are standing next to someone and they keep hitting us in the leg we get pi$$ed off--yet if we know they have terretts(sp) syndrome we move so that we aren't in their way

does it hurt less--hell no!!!!!!!!!!

you are a beautiful woman inside and it shines thru--you are a strong woman--and i think that there are men out there that can't handle that--so love him enough to let him go--the one that can truely handle YOU THE STRONG WOMAN WILL SHINE THRU AND HE WILL LOVE YOU ENOUGH TO LET YOU GO IF NEED BE--BUT YOU BOTH WILL BASK IN EACH OTHERS GLORY



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Posted on Sun, Jan 29, 2006 20:52

Harleys1Angel write:

DOUBLED81 write:

Dynamal write:

Harleys1Angel write:

Dynamal write:

I know what position is open....um...husband? ROFL!!!!!


OK..no givin the Ol Guy a heart attack

AND HE CALL'S ME RICO,,,,,,LOL,,,,man im glad some of my favorite people are posting on here,,, this is were we heal,,,,,SPADO ,,,,if protecting my loved one's is judgeing im guilty also,,,,,,you guy's heal me everyday too,,,,and while i've got you all here i want you to know i love you all,,,,and i hope that you make this a regular stop daily ,,,also i need one or more of you to help me on the our daily bread thread,,,,,i post some pretty cool stuff daily,,,,,and since the bk wont let me post right after my self some time's i have to pull something that may not have touched all that it could have ,,,,,,so help me out ok ,,,,,Bless you fine people and thank you for being my friend's,,,,,,Peace...<><

DD81--BK wont let me post after myself either...so what you have to do is go to the person before you who posted and hit the "reply/add comments"...type in whatever you want and your new post will appear after the last one!

Did I tell you thank you lately for all your kind words and uplifting posts and e-males??? THANK YOU!!!!!

Can we get a group hug here??? anybody???

(((((((((((((GROUP))))))))))))))

and I could not think of Two Better People to help me ,,or a Group Hug,,,,,,,Thank You...<>

  


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Posted on Sun, Jan 29, 2006 20:33

Dynamal write:

Harleys1Angel write:

Dynamal write:

I know what position is open....um...husband? ROFL!!!!!


OK..no givin the Ol Guy a heart attack

ROFLMAO!!!!! Well...it was to good to pass up!!



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Posted on Sun, Jan 29, 2006 20:30

DOUBLED81 write:

Dynamal write:

Harleys1Angel write:

Dynamal write:

I know what position is open....um...husband? ROFL!!!!!


OK..no givin the Ol Guy a heart attack

AND HE CALL'S ME RICO,,,,,,LOL,,,,man im glad some of my favorite people are posting on here,,, this is were we heal,,,,,SPADO ,,,,if protecting my loved one's is judgeing im guilty also,,,,,,you guy's heal me everyday too,,,,and while i've got you all here i want you to know i love you all,,,,and i hope that you make this a regular stop daily ,,,also i need one or more of you to help me on the our daily bread thread,,,,,i post some pretty cool stuff daily,,,,,and since the bk wont let me post right after my self some time's i have to pull something that may not have touched all that it could have ,,,,,,so help me out ok ,,,,,Bless you fine people and thank you for being my friend's,,,,,,Peace...<><

DD81--BK wont let me post after myself either...so what you have to do is go to the person before you who posted and hit the "reply/add comments"...type in whatever you want and your new post will appear after the last one!

Did I tell you thank you lately for all your kind words and uplifting posts and e-males??? THANK YOU!!!!!

Can we get a group hug here??? anybody???

(((((((((((((GROUP))))))))))))))



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Posted on Sun, Jan 29, 2006 20:26

spadoman write:
Dyna is very correct when he says that your outpouring to us makes us stronger. It made me think also.

Some of us, myself among them, say that no-one should judge and that H1A shouldn't heve been judged by this guy.

Just yesterday, I had a good "talk" with my own spirit. I was pondering the judgemental part of myself. Some stuff my son-in-law does just bothers me. Am I judging? Is my opinion of his actions and how they affect my Grandchildren being judgemental?

There are other examples I thought of. I got a message last September when I prayed about such things. The message was loud and clear. DO NOT talk about others and DO NOT judge them.

This is a subject that certainly needs more thought and more work. It is hard to define it and hard to implement this kind of change in a life that judged others as a habit.

I will pray for guidance and courage and strength to walk my path and let others walk theirs. I know as an elder I have an obligation to correct or to teach at times. I need to pray for guidance there, too. So I know when and if I should get involved and make sure it doesn't come from my own judgement of another, but rather a response to a request.

I will attempt to look at others and see them as another human being given their path by God. I will attempt to learn what I can from what they do. I will try to get a positive thought, either a lesson or other blessing from what I perceive instead of a judgement. I'll pray for these things.

WOW...that's IS a deep look...and very wise too.. I like what you say about a "response to a request"...I love to give my response with no request...doesn't sit very well with people when I do..LOL..



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Posted on Sun, Jan 29, 2006 20:22

bigjoe2269 write:
just everyone remember nobody is perfect and sometimes you need to reach deep inside yourself to find forgiveness for someone that you care about - I have been guilty of not doing this in the past and maybe I passed judgemet too fast and maybe cost me happiness I might have had. I am not a really religious person but was raised catholic and many of the things I was taught as a young boy still stick with me. I will always try to give a person I love a chance to explain their actions and I may not be strong enough to forgive them but that is my weekeness and has nothing to do with their actions. But none the less it's not me they need to get that from -it all comes from being at peace with yourself and to be happy with yourself. If you don't respect yourself no one will respect you . Just don't forgret if you are at peace with yourself then you life will be full of happinnss. Look inside yourelf to find the truth

Well...Joe...you made me realise I need to forgive this guy!!! DUH!!! ROFL!! Sometimes I overlook the big things worrying about the small!!! Thanks for your input.



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Posted on Sun, Jan 29, 2006 20:20

MoonNStarz3X3 write:

Harleys1Angel write:
Well what a nice suprise! Welcome Moon!! Thank you for your encouraging and true words...your post had me curious...are you a Christian? It would be tough to live upto someone else's "standards" I do agree with everyone there...but if his family was Christian and you weren't I can imagine how uncomfortable that would be...sometimes Christians (and I am one) are the worst at judging! LOL ..BAD SINNERS!! LOL! Anyway...thanks again!

You're welcome H1A! To answer your question, no..I'm not Christian. I was raised in a strict Italian Catholic household, and was turned off by the Catholic church at a young age. I'm not a subscriber of any organized religion, although I'm a very spiritual person. Yes, the Christian aspect with my ex's family was a bit of an issue, but there were other things as well....too much to get into on this thread! I'll tell ya all about it one day if you have several hours to kill...LOL

Don't us ladies ALWAYS have several hours to kill for a good talk?! Hee Hee...I'm available by mail anytime...it's nice to meet you...I'm Christi...but shhhhhhhh...they think my name is "Angel"!

  


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Posted on Sun, Jan 29, 2006 14:07

Thank you DD81, you to are a kind and helpful person and I am truly blessed for having met you even if only thru this site.
I am looking forward to Strugis when I can shake your hand and give you a brotherly hug.



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Posted on Sun, Jan 29, 2006 05:51

Harleys1Angel write:

Dynamal write:

I know what position is open....um...husband? ROFL!!!!!

OK..no givin the Ol Guy a heart attack



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Posted on Sun, Jan 29, 2006 04:44

Dyna is very correct when he says that your outpouring to us makes us stronger. It made me think also.

Some of us, myself among them, say that no-one should judge and that H1A shouldn't heve been judged by this guy.

Just yesterday, I had a good "talk" with my own spirit. I was pondering the judgemental part of myself. Some stuff my son-in-law does just bothers me. Am I judging? Is my opinion of his actions and how they affect my Grandchildren being judgemental?

There are other examples I thought of. I got a message last September when I prayed about such things. The message was loud and clear. DO NOT talk about others and DO NOT judge them.

This is a subject that certainly needs more thought and more work. It is hard to define it and hard to implement this kind of change in a life that judged others as a habit.

I will pray for guidance and courage and strength to walk my path and let others walk theirs. I know as an elder I have an obligation to correct or to teach at times. I need to pray for guidance there, too. So I know when and if I should get involved and make sure it doesn't come from my own judgement of another, but rather a response to a request.

I will attempt to look at others and see them as another human being given their path by God. I will attempt to learn what I can from what they do. I will try to get a positive thought, either a lesson or other blessing from what I perceive instead of a judgement. I'll pray for these things.



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