Ya know,We as friends have always stated how we come to this site to share.I did it when I was hurting. I came and shared openly(maybe foolishly)because I knew there were wise,compassionate people here who would share their experiences with me. Who could help me through a hard time(free of charge).
This site is about relationships of all types.Last time I looked, friends share not only the good times,but also the bad.
I believe Rev came here because she's hurting and needs her friends.
the old and young
the happy and sappy
the crabby and angry
the boys and girls
the men and women
Today is a new day and a new year has been given.
Make the most of the life you are living
Forgive yesterdays and dream better tomorrows
Life is for laughter and friends
not for sorrow and bitterness.
Life is fleeting so watch the emotions you are keeping.
"what so ever you bind on earth is bound in heaven"
I know I wouldn't want to be carrying anything other than joy and love for eternity.
My take on this is...I was NOT THERE. And since I was NOT THERE, I can only offer condolences to both, with out judgement, condemnation or remarks about anyone's style of writing or if it's the characteristics of a Sociopath or not. I will say this....until you have lived with someone, you do not know them.
I do agree with Kitty and the others, that this should be left private.
You have to notice WHO brought it out in public. It was their situation and they chose to share it. The sadness was chosen to be shared, just like the happiness was.
We (well...MOST of us) know both of these people, whether in person, or from here. They chose to make us a part of their lives...and they BOTH have chosen to make us a part of their ending by BOTH posting. They are both reaching out in hopes of finding a way to stop the hurt whether they realize it or not. That's why people talk.
Neither one of them can control our reactions to what they have chosen to share with us. THAT is a chance they take by sharing. They both have to be prepared to take the good along with the bad.
It was nice to see a little friendly 'discussion' between Seeme and Suz not turn ugly and be handled maturely. You both are great women.
I, personally, chose to keep quiet. I have spoken to Rev outside of this forum and she knows my feelings and what I have offered to do for her. And I know she appreciates it.
The ONLY thing that doesn't set well with me is the comment Tripper made about Greenie, Suz and H4H.
These girls have been here a LONG time and know both parties and each other. For Tripper to say "You girls have so much pizz in your vinegar, you could find something wrong with Mother T, based just on a rumor!" is not right at all.
It's obvious by the 21 postings linked to your comment that you maybe haven't been around very long and don't really know ANY involved. Please don't make judgement calls on them as YOU asked them not to do.
At least these girls KNOW the people they are referring to, and they know the history of what's being discussed. They were in no way being 'self righteous' as you stated.
Please remember there are many of us who have been around a long time and we know more about each other than just what you may be reading at that particular moment.
And believe me, if the shoe was on the other foot...they would have been defending SS just as hard.
Suzananana write: Sorry guys.....but I don't think that we are doing any judging, or forming any opinions here. It's plainly written in black and white. (Well not exactly plainly - you have to read between the sugar-coated bullshi*t to "get" it - but it's there....)
WHAT I READ IS YES MAYBE GUILT THAT THE MISTAKE WAS MADE IN THEM GETTING TOGETHER AS QUICKLY AS THEY DID--THIS WAS WRITTEN PRIOR TO ANY PHYSICAL ABUSE CHARGES BEING MADE
The confession of abuse is written in the garbled, pretentious words of the person who started this thread. Clear your minds and re-read it my friends. Or try to anyway Greenie lol....
You may be able to discern the words of guilt, and the asking of forgiveness for "past behaviors", no matter how clouded they seem to be.
FROM WHAT I KNOW--EMAILS BETWEEN HIM AND HIS PAST G/F WAS INADVERTENTLY READ AND DISTRIBUTED TO OTHERS JUST BEFORE THIS POST
I for one, am sickk and tired of the "abuser" getting the benefit of the doubt in every avenue of our society....especially from his peers.
PERSONALLY I KNOW OF SEVERAL PPL THAT WERE THE RECEIVERS OF ABUSE--AND THEY WERE THE ONES CHARGED--WHAT I'M SAYING IS WE AREN'T THE JUDGE AND JURY--I HAD TO GET A PERMANENT PROTECTIVE ORDER AGAINST MY EX--SO I DO UNDERSTAND--I'M NOT CONDONING ANY BEHAVIOR--I'VE BEEN ON THE RECEIVING END AND IT IS TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE
Omg - next are ya gonna tell me, "She deserved it" ???.....
I WOULD NEVER SAY SHE DESERVED IT OR ANY ONE DOES--I'VE PUT MYSELF BETWEEN PPL AND ALMOST GOT HURT MYSELF--IF THINGS WERE BAD PRIOR TO THE INCEDENT-I KNOW THAT THERE WERE 2 OFFERS FOR HER TO STAY ELSEWHERE--I LEFT MY HOME BEFORE THE THREATS TO KILL ME TOOK PLACE
Plain and simple... He picked up his hand to a woman. He struck her. He needs to pay the price. And part of that price is being left by his woman and being chastised by his peers. Sorry - no sympathy from me. Nope. None...
ALL I'M SAYING IS WE WEREN'T THERE AND WE DON'T KNOW THAT IT HAPPENED THAT WAY--MY BROTHER WAS FALSELY ACCUSED AND AMONGST OTHER THINGS HIS FEMALE PARTNER DID AT THE TIME WOUND UP WITH HIM COMMITTING SUICIDE--SHE EVEN ADMITTED TO US AT HIS FUNERAL THAT SHE LIED
It's wrong man.... just wrong.....
And don't you all let such deceptively sweet words fool you the same way the writer is using them to fool himself....
Isn't it time to stop protecting the abuser ???
YES IT IS--WHEN WE KNOW THE TRUTH!!!!!!!!! NOT BEFORE IS ALL I'M SAYING--I'M NOT HERE TO DEFEND OR JUDGE ANYONE--I KNOW THAT THINGS GET MESSY AND THAT SOMETIMES WHEN WE HEAR ONE SIDE WE TEND TO ACCEPT WHAT IS TOLD TO US--AS I SAID THERE ARE 3 SIDES TO EVERY STORY--AND I WON'T CONDEMN ANYONE WITHOUT THE 3 SIDES--IF EITHER ONE OF THEM HIT THE OTHER THAT PERSON NEEDS TO GET HELP AND NEEDS TO HAVE THE FULL EXTENT OF ANY THING REQUIRED BY LAW
Ok Seeme....Point taken.....Well taken.
I apologize if I came down too hard on one particular member, but it's my experience that if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and talks like a duck...well it MUST BE a duck....
I tend to have a very bad reaction when it comes to seein another person physically abused, so if I have been verbally abusive to that person, I do apologize. Two wrongs never make a right.....
I just can't help but see red when I see physical abuse of any kind against a woman, a man, a child, or an animal, and my anger kicks in and I go off.... I was told, in detail, that this did in fact occur, by a third party..... a trusted third party, but an outsider to the situation nonetheless. I took their words as gospel, and perhaps I jumped the gun. Thank you all for pointing it out to me.
Until I hear all THREE sides of the incident, which I probably never will, you'll hear no more outta me about this.
I just sincerely hope that both parties involved find the help and solace that they need.....
Peg -- I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your brother.... I can see why my opinion of the situation warranted your words.... Please accept my apology for stirring this up in your head again... I never meant to cause you any pain....
Bigbear2000 write: For crying out loud! You people remind me of a flock of chickens after the same june bug. Yeah, I heard a version and am sorry it didn't work for these two, but life happens and it's none of my business. I also understand coming to the defense of someone you care for and giving thenm support, but why not in private, instead of scattering these seeds of anger in public forum. To Rev AND Ss: I'm truly sorry it didn't work out and if either of you need to talk, please feel free to email me. All will be kept in confidence. BB
I appreciate the offer.
As far as everyone else... I do understand the confusion of things for what really happened...and hearing both sides of the story won't help.
The main thing is that he wasn't ready for this relationship and I was. He had other things to deal with, but I was ready for the two of us to take on the world.
I only hope that he does realize the repercussions of his actions. For every action there is a re-action, as they say.
I can look back and see a lot of things that should have grasped my attention and made me check more in to things, but I was so overwelmed by the love I felt and have never felt before that I didn't see these things. Or maybe I didn't want to.... I don't know yet.
I know that he was once apologetic to what he had done, but I don't know about from that point to more currently....I haven't heard anything, and I doubt I ever do.
I can't say that I'm sorry for falling for him. I will never forget that feeling and I hope I never will. I do hope to feel it again sometime in my life. But, if I don't, I now know how it feels to have someone hold me and feel the electricity and an overwelming feeling of love that could bring tears to my eyes.
I'm now working on moving on with my life...and actually starting completely over mentally, physically and financially.
I've had feelings of betrayal rush through me so often that I have wondered how I was ever going to get over this and move on with my life. Occassionally...those feelings still arise. I hope someday that they will terminate themselves from my life, but until then, I know it's part of my healing process even though at times the wounds seem to be forced back open and I must begin again.
I thank you all for your understanding and support...but please understand that by regurgitating this past holiday situation at this time for me is very tough and it still causes me to stop and wonder why it had to happen that way......
For crying out loud! You people remind me of a flock of chickens after the same june bug.
Yeah, I heard a version and am sorry it didn't work for these two, but life happens and it's none of my business. I also understand coming to the defense of someone you care for and giving thenm support, but why not in private, instead of scattering these seeds of anger in public forum.
To Rev AND Ss: I'm truly sorry it didn't work out and if either of you need to talk, please feel free to email me. All will be kept in confidence.
For the record.........
my post above was not meant to take a side, either way, as I don't know either of these two people, and surely do not know what happened between them. It was an opinion on his posts, and how people LOVED those posts. In all honesty, to this day, I'm still not sure which was more comical, the posts, or the loving praise they received.
LowRyder write: See alot of judgements made on here. Only thing i havent seen is where any of you were there to see what had even happened. It's easy for some to be judgemental when they only see or hear one side of anything. Just hope if i ever go to court again NONE of you are on the jury
I can understand your feelings, but there a few of us that have seen both sides of this issue and some like it. No one person is totally at fault, but (and that's a but bigger than mine), he was deceptive and he was starting to be abusive. There is no excuse for that. Not from anyone. It's over now but the healing.