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Promise or History?
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Posted on Wed, Jan 11, 2006 13:56

SpringerSoul write:
Stop


That's good enough for me.



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Posted on Wed, Jan 11, 2006 13:56

seeme1st write:
1viking1 write:

seeme1st write:

1viking1 write:
Okay, wasn't going to say anything here...still reluctant to do so, but...

I have to agree with Cut. Neither has asked for it to stop. Either could...easily...just have to step in here and say so.

I could say many things here on this subject...from what's been written to the WAY it's written (take it from a writer...ME!), but I'll only say this...

I've met both parties...in person. They are both strong people, strong willed, strong of mind, strongly opinionated. Neither would have the slightest trouble stepping into this thread and saying: "Stop."

So, I'm asking...Mel, Reese? Shall it continue, or not?



unless they legally can't due to the possible appearance of stiffling anothers voice!!!!!!!!!!!!


Peggy,

I don't think that would be the case...legally with the internet as a medium of communication (I see no legal precedent in such actions)...besides, either or both simply calling a halt to what is happening in this thread isn't crossing any lines of "stiffling another's voice." If anything, it's stiffling the argument and our comments by simply requesting all concerned to put an end to it.

Ran


well Ran--i know the protective order i have against my ex does include the medium of the internet!!!!!!!!!!!! all facets of it including dating services, email, im'ing etc

sooooooooo maybe GA is ahead of CO
i wouldn't profess to know what the laws are state to state


Peggy, that's fine. I just think that the context as expressed wouldn't equate to a gag order, etc...and it wouldn't be considered "stiffling." IMHO of course. Ran



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Posted on Wed, Jan 11, 2006 11:56

Nodey write:
I say we all just forget about relationships and differences of opinion,and just think of riding.


Nodey,
This is the best post this thread has seen in days!
Bill



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Posted on Wed, Jan 11, 2006 08:19

why do we need someone to tell us to stop? just a thought....



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Cut
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Posted on Wed, Jan 11, 2006 01:43

This has to be site record. A post from SS with just a single word!!!LMAO

OK, i
ve expressed my opinions and I believe i
ve been clear so I will stop. NOT because I respect you SS, but because i
ve made my point.



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Cut
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Posted on Wed, Jan 11, 2006 01:35

Seeme, Again I don
t agree! I think the first post is just more of his rambling bullsh1t. He
s trying to shift the blame because he
s not man enough to admit his guilt--but of course thats just my opinion



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Posted on Tue, Jan 10, 2006 22:52

I say we all just forget about relationships and differences of opinion,and just think of riding.



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Posted on Tue, Jan 10, 2006 22:44

springersoul write:

It is always the easiest path to confront or blame someone other than ourselves.

I think in a relationship when recognizing patterns that a potential partner is operating out of it is important to check one's own participation in the pattern and stop contributing to it.

Abuse is most often inflicted by those who feel powerless and blame others or situations for their condition.

The anger lies internally if it all. They immediately find frustration within themselves and see their own contribution to their situation. Often times they are more patient with others than they are themselves.


Springer Soul, these words of yours are so true, and while I would tell you to look at them and apply them to yourself, I some how feel you've already done that. It shows in some of these posts and places you with the folks who focus on themselves and their own culpability, while some find and apply the blame only to others.

It especially entertains me when people puff themselves up with words and half truths that they know are transparently full of hot air and created in their own imaginations. Threats and name calling show the ignorance and lack of creative communication of the ones that utilize them. But at least they're showing their true colors and allowing me to choose not to include them among my friends. It being my choice to disassociate myself from bluster and hype.

I don't know the truth of the situation, and I don't care to either, I don't wanna have to pick sides. But I've seen what others term "emotional and verbal" abuse used by cerebral people to agitate "physical" abuse by physical people, in every degree and variation imaginable. It gets quite confusing deciding, labeling and assigning blame in degrees or absolutes. Old adages are sometimes accurate, "______ me once, shame on you, ________me twice, shame on me." This can be applied to the 'abused' as well, and if you feel abused once and stick around to be abused the second time, there is a portion of the blame that belongs to you.

There are good thoughts here in all these posts, some are easier to find than others, some are hard to recognize as good, because they exist behind a smoke screen of righteousness and inaccurate judgementalism. Let us not tell anyone to 'shut up', for their open expression of their opinion allows us to honestly decide who and what we want to surround ourselves with in our 'real' worlds.

Don't leave us Peggy, we need your insight to guide us.

Springer, check into the grammatically correct use of commas, they would make your posts much more understandable to those of us who are somewhat 'literarily challenged'.



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Posted on Tue, Jan 10, 2006 20:22

1viking1 write:

seeme1st write:

1viking1 write:
Okay, wasn't going to say anything here...still reluctant to do so, but...

I have to agree with Cut. Neither has asked for it to stop. Either could...easily...just have to step in here and say so.

I could say many things here on this subject...from what's been written to the WAY it's written (take it from a writer...ME!), but I'll only say this...

I've met both parties...in person. They are both strong people, strong willed, strong of mind, strongly opinionated. Neither would have the slightest trouble stepping into this thread and saying: "Stop."

So, I'm asking...Mel, Reese? Shall it continue, or not?



unless they legally can't due to the possible appearance of stiffling anothers voice!!!!!!!!!!!!


Peggy,

I don't think that would be the case...legally with the internet as a medium of communication (I see no legal precedent in such actions)...besides, either or both simply calling a halt to what is happening in this thread isn't crossing any lines of "stiffling another's voice." If anything, it's stiffling the argument and our comments by simply requesting all concerned to put an end to it.

Ran


well Ran--i know the protective order i have against my ex does include the medium of the internet!!!!!!!!!!!! all facets of it including dating services, email, im'ing etc

sooooooooo maybe GA is ahead of CO
i wouldn't profess to know what the laws are state to state



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Posted on Tue, Jan 10, 2006 20:02

seeme1st write:

1viking1 write:
Okay, wasn't going to say anything here...still reluctant to do so, but...

I have to agree with Cut. Neither has asked for it to stop. Either could...easily...just have to step in here and say so.

I could say many things here on this subject...from what's been written to the WAY it's written (take it from a writer...ME!), but I'll only say this...

I've met both parties...in person. They are both strong people, strong willed, strong of mind, strongly opinionated. Neither would have the slightest trouble stepping into this thread and saying: "Stop."

So, I'm asking...Mel, Reese? Shall it continue, or not?



unless they legally can't due to the possible appearance of stiffling anothers voice!!!!!!!!!!!!

Peggy,

I don't think that would be the case...legally with the internet as a medium of communication (I see no legal precedent in such actions)...besides, either or both simply calling a halt to what is happening in this thread isn't crossing any lines of "stiffling another's voice." If anything, it's stiffling the argument and our comments by simply requesting all concerned to put an end to it.

Ran



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Posted on Tue, Jan 10, 2006 19:54

secretsquirrel write:
enuf said!!!! I am not getting into a word war.


I said this not Rocky..dang it gets confusing sharing a puter.



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Posted on Tue, Jan 10, 2006 18:53

Stop



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Posted on Tue, Jan 10, 2006 16:39

1viking1 write:
Okay, wasn't going to say anything here...still reluctant to do so, but...

I have to agree with Cut. Neither has asked for it to stop. Either could...easily...just have to step in here and say so.

I could say many things here on this subject...from what's been written to the WAY it's written (take it from a writer...ME!), but I'll only say this...

I've met both parties...in person. They are both strong people, strong willed, strong of mind, strongly opinionated. Neither would have the slightest trouble stepping into this thread and saying: "Stop."

So, I'm asking...Mel, Reese? Shall it continue, or not?


unless they legally can't due to the possible appearance of stiffling anothers voice!!!!!!!!!!!!



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Posted on Tue, Jan 10, 2006 15:18

Hey y'all did ya miss me???? Greetings from Eureka, Missouri!
OK I'm with Viking....when the principals say stop...I'm out.



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Posted on Tue, Jan 10, 2006 14:40

Okay, wasn't going to say anything here...still reluctant to do so, but...

I have to agree with Cut. Neither has asked for it to stop. Either could...easily...just have to step in here and say so.

I could say many things here on this subject...from what's been written to the WAY it's written (take it from a writer...ME!), but I'll only say this...

I've met both parties...in person. They are both strong people, strong willed, strong of mind, strongly opinionated. Neither would have the slightest trouble stepping into this thread and saying: "Stop."

So, I'm asking...Mel, Reese? Shall it continue, or not?



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Posted on Tue, Jan 10, 2006 10:00

Cut write:
Seeme I dont agree with you but I respect your courage and opinion. There hasn
t been a single post from either of the 2 involved asking for this subject to be ended/dropped. That indicates to me they are interested in and want the opinions of others. They both are capable of putting a end to the subject when they are ready. They don
t need to be rescued by anyone in my view.


read the passage at the end--it has to do with listening--but it also has to do with rescuing--maybe this will help you to understand


all of you are coming to the females rescue and defense--you may not realize it but you are--which in essessence devalues her as a person and weakens her--causes her to be dependent instead of independent--yes she may need help getting back up on her feet--a hand, a shoulder--not to be carried--she has to walk for herself

we subconsiously play the role HISTORY
we consiously want different PROMISE

it maybe that one or both involved can't/ or won't ask for it to stop--it feels good to have public support

it needs to be dropped--it never should have been made this public--talking to friends thru im's and fone and emails is one thing--it involves those closet to them

if you truely read the original post it is about the promise we make ourselves---that our history isn't going to affect the new realtionship--but if we don't put our history in it's proper place we will continue to make the same mistakes

as i said in a post i withdrew

the knight in/on shinning armour saving the damsel in distress(these roles are subconsious--sometimes the reality surfaces and when it does--we need to make the changes for ourselves--if our partner can't or won't see it--the relationship dies)

i will tell you this-- i have dated a few men that thought i needed rescuing--when they realize i don't they leave or i let them go--i don't need to be rescued from anything---i am a strong woman that can fend for myself--it took me a long time and alot of therapy to truely accept that

this being public has become a feeding frenzy

LISTEN

When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving advice, you have not done what I ask.

When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I should not feel that way, you have trapped my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as that may seem.

Listen.

All I ask is that you listen.

Not talk or do ... just listen and hear me.

I can do for myself. I am not helpless. Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.

When you so something for me that I can do for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness.

But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince you and get about the business of understanding what's behind this irrational feeling and when it's clear, the answers are obvious and I don't need advice.

Irrational feelings make sense when we understand them.
Perhaps that is why prayer works sometimes for some people, because God is mute and doesn't give advice or try to fix things.
He just listens and lets you work it out for yourself.

So please listen and just hear me.

And if you want to talk, wait a minute for you turn and I'll listen to you.



Peace--and please lets leave it for the 2 ppl involved to work this out the best they can--to be whole independent beings

And yes continue to be vocal about the unacceptablity of any kind of abuse--no matter whether male or female, child or animal--if we see it make the call--i always do

but please--please let this be



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Cut
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Posted on Tue, Jan 10, 2006 08:58

Seeme I dont agree with you but I respect your courage and opinion. There hasn
t been a single post from either of the 2 involved asking for this subject to be ended/dropped. That indicates to me they are interested in and want the opinions of others. They both are capable of putting a end to the subject when they are ready. They don
t need to be rescued by anyone in my view.



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Posted on Tue, Jan 10, 2006 08:21

enuf said!!!! I am not getting into a word war.



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Posted on Tue, Jan 10, 2006 07:46

DYN

and if my son was arguing with his lady in front of me I would ask him to stop... if my son pushed ... slapped ... hit his lady I would beat his azz from now till sunday. good thing I have daughters...ok now if one of their boy friends even...well hmmmm what if your daughter was in the same place???????

this my friend is true--this my friend i would do--but i would stand by his side and support him in whatever way i could--i wouldn't be pointing a finger at him telling him he is a devient--he isn't his actions are(unconditonal love)

the thing is if my daughter exagaretted(sp) the story i would also stand by her uncondtionally with the support she needed and she would have to make ammends to those she hurt and if that included charges of filing a false police report so be it

what this public mess does it allows both parties the ability to stay in the victim mode--neither one can get on with their lifes and theraputic healing they both need--this way whatever they need they get

and i was with Kitty--all along to drop it--to read it and leave it--BUT THOSE THAT FELT THEY HAD TO RESCUE A WOMAN COULDN'T DO IT(which keeps all women portrayed as victims)--WE AREN'T HELPLESS WE CAN TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES

we may be the fairer $ex--but we sure as hell can take care of ourselves
WE DON'T NEED MEN--WE WANT THEM IN OUR LIFES



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Posted on Tue, Jan 10, 2006 05:55

DYnaml this is why I ask for this to just be stopped .Personal emales work wonders!!!!!!



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