well my friend, like I mentioned in that email; Your recently departed ex only thinks he's happy with this other lady. Late at night, he still thinks of you. So he may be in line for a long list of substitutes to replace you
Here I am, getting out of my car (my dream car "I" bought ON MY OWN...the one my "X" promised to get me. Anyway...) getting out of my car at a Mexican restaurant to have dinner with the family who has come to Austin to get away from Rita.
OK, I start to head to the front door, then decide I should probably put the top up. I go back, swing the top to my car up, and ooops! Did I just feel my pants rip?
Well, I feel the seams on my butt, and all seems intact. My little sister walks up and I turn and say "Did I just split my f'ing pants?" Mind you, I'm on the sidewalk at this point, and sticking my a*ss WAY out at her, attempting to try and embarrass HER.
She screams "OH MY GOD!" Well, THAT answered my question.
I didn't just split my pants, oh no, that would have been to easy. I ripped the whole left cheek out. From the pocket to the bottom of my a*ss...wide open.
I'm wearing a thong.
Therefore, white a*ss galore...just shining for the whole world to see. Well, maybe not the world, but every fool walking up the sidewalk to the restaurant. I seriously wanted to die. The rip was bigger than my hand. My hand would not cover my big fat rip! The whole freakin family is rolling on the sidewalk pointing.
Luckily, Mom had a long shirt in the car, so I just changed shirts and proceeded with the day. Good ol'Mom.
I don't hear the waitress when she asks "Ma'am what can I get you?", so my darling 5 year old niece says "Hey Booty Cheek, what are you eating?" Yes, in front of the whole table, plus the 3 tables within ear shot.
There. Make you feel better? It should. Just doing whatever I can to help. Now smile, damnit.
Tell yuh what; Next time you are feeling like this, let me know and I'll send you a picture of me in my bunny jammies. Boy, just don't know how a picture can get sexier than that, with those long ears, cotton tail, feeties. Whew, makes me sweat just to think of it. : )
Hey. You stop that, right now. You are a lovely lady with a great personality. Any man would love to have a kind compassionate woman like you, in his life. So get out there and start flipping rocks over. Can't never tell which one has a prince under it. : )
Besides, my old granny always said "The best way to get over a heartache is to party hearty and boogie til yuh puke."
Okay. Maybe she didn't say that, but she should have. : )
And the next time you are in the dumps, you write old papabear. He'll get you to smile.