I gotta share a story with ya, I met a guy on a bike run in my area, he was pursuing me to no end. He was very serious and wanted commitment and I hardly knew him. Then I mentioned lets take it slow for now and be friends. Well he wrote that in stone, not to be changed. I found myself eventually falling for him, but he said no and reminded me that I said in the beginning that I wanted to be friends. Doesn't he realize that things can grow??? He put me through such an emotional roller coaster as I was trying to adjust to his needs and wants while all the while wasn't sure where I stood. Well his true colors finally came through and I now don't grace him with my presence anymore. Man, what a trip!!!! I guess he just wanted to be buddies with fringe benefits. I should have never gotten involved in that way and everything would of been fine. Live and learn!!!!
My experience is YES, you can be friends, but not if there is an attraction between you. For me it gets in the way, you worry if you have a nice bra on or what gonch you have on..lol..but if its just your friend you couldnt care less if you have a booger in your nose!!!lol So you act differently. On the positive side if you are friends first and the attraction grows from that, its called love
I live in a very small community. Summner brings lots of tourists. The locals here all know everyone. During the warmer months we all meet at our local watering hole to listen to the bands and say hi to those we haven't since since we came out of our hibernation. We have local poker runs. Friends, male and female, all attend these events. My friends are my friends, and they are just that. I cherish my friendships as good friends are hard to come by. Relationships can fizzle out in time and they come and go for whatever reasons.... but friends are friends the rest of my life. Yes, men and women can just be friends or riding buddies. We are Brother's and Sister's who share a common interest and that love of riding is our bond. This is how I see it but I guess it depends where your head is at?
- that doesn't mean you are going to try to pursue anything more than friendship. There is such a thing as "honor" and I believe that there are MEN who have honor when it comes to women, even if they are attracted to them. I would wonder about the character of a person who did not believe a man and woman can be "just" friends. They are showing a lack of trust in their partner, immaturity and doesn't that then say something about whether or not THEY are trust worthy??
I have to agree with the ladies. Sounds like you have a pretty good thing going there. I used to go riding with one lady in particular that was going through a divorce at the time a few years ago. Riding was her only therapy, so I always made it a point to be available when she needed a therapy session. Although she was exceptionally attractive, I avoided any advances what so ever since I knew she needed time to heal from her divorce. Your friend might be backing off thinking that your still in the healing process and thereby need your space.
And age is simply a number, and a state of mind. If theirs chemistry, it's going to happen regardless. No one will ever fault you for following your heart...
You have a great thing going right now. I would enjoy the friendship/riding for a while see if and when it goes anywhere. Age is just a number does not make the person. Girl I say go for it. Good friends are very hard to come by...Summer
This is my thoughts and my thoughts only. I think men and women can be "just friends" as long as they are not attracted to each other. I have a hard time being "friends' with a man I am attracted to. That is just me. I can ignore that at times but other times not so it can happen but you have to watch the attraction thing.
I remember growing up and I found myself getting embrassed watching how men would behave and things they said. I would tell myself I hope I'm never that way. With my relationships with women I have been pretty sucessful in not treating them that way. Anyways, I'm having problems staying focused on getting my bike ready for Daytona.
jadeeyes write: Um , I was just reading my sweety's input here and I am going to be politically incorrect and honest. Two of my less endearing traits . Can a man be just friends with a woman . Yes , but only if there is NO physical attraction . I can be friends with a heavy woman or and older woman or an unattractive woman and the friendship will be true , it is the beautiful ones you can't just be friends with . Deep down guys are just biding thier time and waiting for that special opportunity .
I believe that gender opposites can be just friends and VERY good ones at that. I cherish my guy friends ("brothers") they are the best!
One of my best friends is a guy who I was involved with for 6 months. We both realized that wasn't going anywhere but really like each other,have fun and respect each other ( No, we are not F buddies). I have even become very good friends with a gal he went out with some (we all ride). If you don't get hung up on "who done who wrong" (in this case neither of us), then you can keep an open mind about friendship. I have known some divorced couples who have become great friends.
I have another guy friend who would love to have more than a friendship with me. "It" isn't there for me but we are great friends, go to concerts, go out to eat, etc. - he has a huge amount of respect for me and I for him.
I often go on rides with guy friends - we have a great time, kid around, even flirt, - just never cross the line and aren't interested in crossing the line with each other. You might have a physical attraction with someone who has a partner (married, long term, somehow commit ed) - that doesn't mean you are going to try to pursue anything more than friendship. There is such a thing as "honor" and I believe that there are MEN who have honor when it comes to women, even if they are attracted to them.
I would wonder about the character of a person who did not believe a man and woman can be "just" friends. They are showing a lack of trust in their partner, immaturity and doesn't that then say something about whether or not THEY are trust worthy??
I disagree, doesn't mean its right or wrong. I have been riding with a buddy for two years, yes I had/have feelings for him but we have never crossed the line. The subject was approached by him but I know who I am and I know who he is and it would have messed with the relationship. I said no and told him why and that was the end of that although if things were diffenent I wouldn't have said no. None of the other guys I ride with have approached the subject nor have I. Many are married, some are younger, some there is no attraction other than respect for each other and they all do respect me. Dang it!!!