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Posted on Fri, Oct 14, 2005 20:06

Marzen said: "I would like to really meet someone and possibly start a relationship, but it appears the people are miles away. I have decided that I am not going to react quickly or be worried if I meet someone and they leave. There are too many people in the world.
As for the aithor of this thread I would suggest she forget the "whats inside" theory and be attractive as possible. That is where it starts."
~~~~~~~~
Marzen: I believe if we work on ourselves to be the best we can inside and out-then we are prepared to have enough self-confidence to be creative and keep that spark and interest going. \
And-Who says we can't be nice and spicy all in one? SweetNSpicy-that's my man.

DD and her 2 cents again...
And I thought I was going be quiet-hhehe.
Need duct tape! lol

  


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Posted on Fri, Oct 14, 2005 18:09

thats not true with all of us Harly,



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Posted on Fri, Oct 14, 2005 18:07

you know im sure it's not all the girls out there, but most i know, most i have been with are most i have seen, seems like they enjoy abuse, why this is i don't know,never in my life have a touched a female in anger and yet for some reason i loose the ones i really loved, then i find out they are with viloent men and staying with them as if that is the way life is,beats me how it works, it seems if you love someone and show them they don't like it, and they turn on you,i guess all i can say is if a woman need to be beat on to be happy, if not going to be with me,i guess i'll die alone,

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Posted on Fri, Oct 07, 2005 21:11


46andlooking write:
hi im new to this site and i just read the question for the ladies and now im asking the guys.
Is there not any guys out there who wants a good ol'lady. And who isnt gonna dump her after a year. It hurts when you give everything you have and then be told that he wants to be single again. Please tell me.


Yes there are guy who want a good ol'lady problem is for me anyway finding one who wants a warn out old man who who's been unlucky in find one.



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Posted on Fri, Oct 07, 2005 06:21


HarleyChic1 write:

Corkey1100 write:
No person who is happy within themselfs ever want's to be treated badly or to treat anyone badly... First you must be happy with you! Really don't just say it feel it. Personnaly I would never treat someone badly, even if there was no spark. But please know that some of us are out here because are ladies changed from being the person we married to someone that would and did treat there mate badly. So hold you head up and keep looking and like yourself and others will follow.



OK - so then tell me something.
Every guy I've ever dated, and they have all been long term relationships I've never went out with anyone for less then 3 yrs. They have all told me the same thing - I'm too nice and too good for them.

"so, that tells me they don't want to be treated nice" you can't pick a fight with someone if there's nothing to fight about.

"So, if you guys don't like to be treated like crap, why would you tell the woman your with that there too nice to them and your too good of a person to be with them"??

I really don't understand you guys at all - AND it's not just one class of guys either. I've dated alot of guys. I've dated lots of bikers, Rich men, middle class and yes even poor guys and again the same thing. Maybe I'm doing something wrong.

Maybe I'm just too nice for you guys. So what are you guys really looking for in a woman?


Maybe it isn't the men. We all have certain parameters that we desire in a person. Especially someone we are entering into a relationship with. Not everyone is ready for a total committment. Take this forum for example. I have met 4 people here and they have been four extremes. I really wanted to date one of them and she wasn't ready. One was just email,and the others were just a meeting. I would like to really meet someone and possibly start a relationship, but it appears the people are miles away. I have decided that I am not going to react quickly or be worried if I meet someone and they leave. There are too many people in the world.
As for the aithor of this thread I would suggest she forget the "whats inside" theory and be attractive as possible. That is where it starts. I don't care what anyone says(and I am not being shallow, just honest) first impressions make a lasting and deciding imprint on a person. And, first impressions are the visible ones. I agree that a person can be very nice, but most people also want more.
B



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Posted on Thu, Oct 06, 2005 20:20

Hi,
To be straight up honest with you, I think some women (and men) get to quickly in a rut and become bored/boring with one another. They become comfortable with the other and simply assume they will be there. I am not saying this is bad but I am trying to say one or the other person stops trying to attract their mate. I am not talking about sex exactly but that intangible thing that you were initially attracted to at the beginning. I have been on both sides of this senerio. Its work...but when it works, its worth it.
Lastly, women lie but its been my experience that men lie much more. The line of your to nice is right up there with I just want to be freinds or maybe we should see other people. Its not truth and (in this case) a lie is not worth "I'm just trying to not hurt her feelings". This is bs and is really a line used for him (not for her) not to face the truth.
I hope this helps a little :)
Joe

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Posted on Tue, Sep 06, 2005 14:45


Bigbear2000 write:
"In my opinion "I'm leaving you because you are too nice", is so much BS. If they want adversity, they aren't worth the effort.
I've often wondered where consideration went. Say I'm out mowing the lawn or building fence; would it be too much trouble to bring me a glass of iced tea, without my asking? (and no, I don't ask, but will go get it myself) Would an inpromtu bit of affection be out of line? Maybe a pat, a quick kiss or a hug? Is it too much to ask, that when she comes in to sit down, maybe once in a while she foregoes her "spot" across the room and snuggles in next to me?
The final item n my wish list, is that she try to take an interest in what I enjoy doing, just like I do her interests. She wants to ride. If she wants her own bike, we'll get her one, if she wants to ride behind, that's fine too. So it seems to me that like a "good " man, a "good" woman is also difficult to find. : )



PDA'S are just as important and fun in private as they are in public!!!!



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Posted on Tue, Sep 06, 2005 04:49

"In my opinion "I'm leaving you because you are too nice", is so much BS. If they want adversity, they aren't worth the effort.
I've often wondered where consideration went. Say I'm out mowing the lawn or building fence; would it be too much trouble to bring me a glass of iced tea, without my asking? (and no, I don't ask, but will go get it myself) Would an inpromtu bit of affection be out of line? Maybe a pat, a quick kiss or a hug? Is it too much to ask, that when she comes in to sit down, maybe once in a while she foregoes her "spot" across the room and snuggles in next to me?
The final item n my wish list, is that she try to take an interest in what I enjoy doing, just like I do her interests. She wants to ride. If she wants her own bike, we'll get her one, if she wants to ride behind, that's fine too. So it seems to me that like a "good " man, a "good" woman is also difficult to find. : )



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Posted on Mon, Sep 05, 2005 08:34

Gefallen quote:-
So, I just try to remember the old Irish toast. "Dance like no one is watching, sing like no one hears you, and live each day like it was the last day of your life."
Love that quote. I have been treated very well in many of my adult relationships. It was only when I started doing the online dating thing a few years ago that I found out some men were liars, jerks, users. I have also found great guys through online dating who know how to genuinly love a woman and treat her with respect. I just haven't met my match yet. I know he will show up someday. I know I just have to keep putting myself out there to finally connect. In the meantime-I am having a lot of fun meeting people and am learning every day about the pitfalls of online dating and learning how to find out how trustworhty a man is from the beginning. If a man is respectful, considerate, a gentleman, shows maturity, etc, then I am willing to meet and have a good time. If he Bs's me, gets caught in a lie, or hits on me too hard, he gets the wave goodbye.
Thanks everybody for all the posts. It's been a real education reading everything.
Springer- Thanks as always for your words of wisdom- and what happened to your awesome new pic? It's not showing up on your posts.
Doubly Delighted to be here on BK.

  


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Posted on Sun, Sep 04, 2005 20:30

Hey all,

I dont think there really is an answer. If a guy is seeking just a short stay, then there is pretty much nothing that can be done to change that. The mind is set and the subconsious will follow.

I think the real issue is to ASK the question and inform the possible "next candidate" that you are not looking for a short stay but a permanent fixture. This will scare the short timers away. Also, dont give of your self (between the sheets) immediately. Wait, hold out, for a long long time and that will also weed out the desperate from the truly genuine guys.

Hope this helps, from a guys perspective



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Posted on Mon, Aug 15, 2005 22:10


46andlooking write:
hi everyone,

Thanks for the replies. I did give him everything love passion honesty trust (and trust was a hard one for me to give). anyway my bro here in canada told me it was his loss. Thanks againfor all the feedback and hope to hear from all of you again. And if you have anything else to add go ahead i need all the moral support i can get.

Thanks from
46andlooking, eastern canada



I'm certainly not one to give support to anyone's morals but I think it's all very simple in a way: You're hurting right now because you gave your heart to someone and in the end he decided you were not the right person for him. Maybe you thought he was the right person for you, but the ends justify the reason for the pain, you know? You gave your all to someone, and he was not willing to recive that gift. It's no fault of yours. Re-read: It's NO FAULT OF YOURS.

Eventualy your heart will heal, and trust me, it will heal. The pain you might feel tonight will not be with you all the rest of your days, even though it might seem so a t times. I know this to be true.



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Posted on Sun, Aug 14, 2005 11:07


bikeman542a write:

Nodey write:

Roxie0215 write:
To thine own self be true....
Hang in there Nodey, earthgodess and all the other great women on this side.
It's when you're not looking and focusing on the things that really matter, that's when cupid decides to shoot you with an arrow, and when it comes from above, it's much better than what we imagined for ourseleves!



Thanks Roxie. I believe the reason I have been single for five years is because I want to make sure it's the right one this time. I'd rather be alone than be with someone and unhappy.


You got that right Southern Bell Goddess!! Keep smilin baby and always trust yourself!!! Someday you'll make some luck man deleriously happy!!



Thanks G! Stranger things have been known to happen!!!

  


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Posted on Sun, Aug 14, 2005 10:55


Nodey write:

Roxie0215 write:
To thine own self be true....
Hang in there Nodey, earthgodess and all the other great women on this side.
It's when you're not looking and focusing on the things that really matter, that's when cupid decides to shoot you with an arrow, and when it comes from above, it's much better than what we imagined for ourseleves!



Thanks Roxie. I believe the reason I have been single for five years is because I want to make sure it's the right one this time. I'd rather be alone than be with someone and unhappy.


You got that right Southern Bell Goddess!! Keep smilin baby and always trust yourself!!! Someday you'll make some luck man deleriously happy!!

  


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Posted on Sun, Aug 14, 2005 10:07


Roxie0215 write:
To thine own self be true....
Hang in there Nodey, earthgodess and all the other great women on this side.
It's when you're not looking and focusing on the things that really matter, that's when cupid decides to shoot you with an arrow, and when it comes from above, it's much better than what we imagined for ourseleves!



Thanks Roxie. I believe the reason I have been single for five years is because I want to make sure it's the right one this time. I'd rather be alone than be with someone and unhappy.



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Posted on Sun, Aug 14, 2005 10:05


flhrcui01 write:
As far as what I can tell,anyone of us on here can say one thing and be another.We've all been through that line of b.s. and where did it get us? I agree with the last comment on being yourself.I am me,accept me or don't waste our time.Plain and simple.If ya don't like the package,then don't mess with it.You cannot change how a person feels,acts,or looks like,THEY are the ones that will change themselves IF they want to.So many times people get together,be it a rebound(like me) or through bk or whatever and it proves to be disasterous to one or both parties.Most people need someone in their lives,they just have to find the right ONE.It takes time to meet the right person,and most of us do NOT like to wait.So 46,you'll find a guy who will treat you right,like you should be treated,and that goes for everyone else here as well.You have to love who you are,be happy who you are,and good things WILL come to pass.




I agree Flh.The way I look a t it is,if one doesn't like me,there is always the next one in line who may. I was holding on to a past hurt for months and finally woke up with some events that happened. Out of this a really great guy drove the eight hours to see ME. Very unusual in this day and time.
We went to the bike night here in Nashville and had a really great time.Yesterday someone who had seen me there and recognized me tracked me down through . Last night we played pretend poker run and went bar hopping ,collecting beer labels instead of cards. Through this I received two more fone numbers!
I guess what I'm trying to say is I feel that because I finally let go of past hurts, I may be portraying something other than what I have in the past. I think having a different attitude about who I am,and liking who I am may have made me more appealing to the opposite s ex.
I really believe that what we are feeling on the inside shows through to our outer image.



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Posted on Fri, Aug 12, 2005 18:38

I agree, but don't forget that it goes for both men and women. Say for instance that a man meets a woman and they start a relationship. He (or she) trying to be supportive, pays off the other person's bills for them. Then tells the signifigant other that "If you want it and we can afford it, go get it." Soon the bank account is depleted and things start to go bad in the relationship. As both live there, it starts out that both help with housework. Then more and more falls to just one. Soon, he 9or she) is doing all the housework, except cooking, plus running a small business. Then, a windfall and there's more money in the account. One of them wants to get married, but the other one has to be talked into it. Once married, a mortgage, a new car payment, etc. She (or he) comes clean about the whole thing and says "I have everything I've ever wanted in life. Now you can go."
The bottom line here is "Yeah. Treat em good, but don't "sacrifice" yourself and don't forget to treat yourself good, as well."
Peace



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Posted on Fri, Aug 12, 2005 15:23


earthgoddes2 write:
i hear ya ladies,i was raised to know what to do in a relationship,work hard,cook,clean, raaise kids,blah blah, was in a 15 yr relationship,did everything i was taught (good house wife) all he did was take advantage,then when i got sick of it,he said i was to blame,go figure,now i'm single and wiser,i'd do anything for my mate,thats how i am,and they don't want it. if i treat them good,i expect to be treated the same in return. just my opinion



I hear ya Goddess. Same thing happened in my marriage. Shoot,the same thing happens to any of the men I get involved with. Maybe we need to be bitches? Those are the types of women most men go for anyway.
I think the best thing to do is just be me,and forget about trying to please. It's always taken for granted anyway.



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Posted on Fri, Aug 12, 2005 09:28

I don't mind saying that I found the greatest woman I could ever find. I just had a very bad accident about 3 months ago and we had only been going out for about 3 months. She was in the hospital everyday, taking care of most of my things in my home and most of all cared about me and gave me the will to live. I'm not getting out of this one!!! I'm in love!!



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Posted on Thu, Aug 11, 2005 09:47

i hear ya ladies,i was raised to know what to do in a relationship,work hard,cook,clean, raaise kids,blah blah, was in a 15 yr relationship,did everything i was taught (good house wife) all he did was take advantage,then when i got sick of it,he said i was to blame,go figure,now i'm single and wiser,i'd do anything for my mate,thats how i am,and they don't want it. if i treat them good,i expect to be treated the same in return. just my opinion

  


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Posted on Thu, Aug 11, 2005 05:45

Hey 46-I've been there too. My advice is to do the things you've always wanted to do in life. Those are your dreams to make you happy. Don't worry about someone else having to be there with you to do it either. I've had more fun by myself going everywhere I've wanted, because no one else is there to distract me from what I want to see/do. Be selfish for once! You'll have a blast! Jy



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