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Posted on Sun, Nov 27, 2005 08:26

Shes so hard to find

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Posted on Sun, Nov 27, 2005 07:01

tallthinandhappy write:
with me i learn the hard way , something am working on realy hard, seem to me that intimate talk about the two of you is real the anwer, finding out what rigth what wrong and working on them together is important ,only live once if you find it hold on to it at all cost


You said a mouthful there... That sure is the truth!! If you find it hang on to it!!! Sure doesn't come around too often.



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Posted on Thu, Nov 17, 2005 20:36

My opinion, if I may, is that you have to be yourself and you must allow him to be himself as well, women tend to dig for information from men and then when he thinks its safe and exposes part of who he is with honesty, women will use the information against him or use it to make "herself" feel bad about how he feels about her.. we are not made the same... we do not think alike and that's okay. Once we realize that and quit trying to make them be just like "us" and quit trying to be what "we" think they "want" us to be instead of just who we are.. I think most women have a hard time handling the truth inside the man and most men know it and hide it. I believe its our own fault.. women are not very honest about thier thoughts and we tend to act more pure than men. We are taught at a young age that girls are bad if they have sexual or impure thoughts..because of that we create images of ourself to the opposite gender that make the man feel like he must be a deviant or something. Society has created a monster in a way. Men have a hard time being honest with us because we can not be honest with them!!! We play a role.. they can't live up to it. and in truth we do not live up to it either!!! We just do not talk about it and they do not dig for information about what we think.. Men take things for face value... women read a million things into every word.

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Posted on Thu, Nov 17, 2005 17:45



I can't figure the men out either 46. I think the worse you treat them the more they want to be with you & If you treat them right don't give them a problem they dump you.

So do tell men whats the reason for that?

Insecurity or unable to committ! FWIW any woman that don't treat me right won't be around long.

I hade a really great GF, thought she4 was THE ONE. Celebrated a year's anniversery then she did a "NO NO". We had alread had discussion on this and I told her "One more time and we're HISTORY!"

Evidently she didn't take what I said seriously. I sent her home on a bus on a Saturday night.

  


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Posted on Mon, Nov 14, 2005 13:53

Hmm.. A few things.. Don't be in a rush to fall in love. You'll end up settling for the first person that makes you tingle..and in a state of wanting, it doesnt take much. I've learned through my own experience and others..you have to love you first, when you do , it shows. 2. You cannot! look at every date as a potential future. I see so many women do this, they come home and say...I could never marry that guy..after 1 date!! lol. I said woman..if you look at every date as a future husband you are NEVER going to find Mr Right.....if you look at each person you meet as a potential friend then you'll have always gained "something" . Not everyone is meant to be with us for all of time..as a matter of fact..most are not. If someone moves on..feel blessed for the time you did have and let them go and grow, in turn you grow. Sometimes we need to be alone to find out who we are, what makes happy, what we truly enjoy. Sad thing is..a lot of people don't know those things about themselves, if they dont know..how can another understand them? Good luck on your move and your search..be patient and be yourself.



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Posted on Sat, Nov 12, 2005 20:18

DoubleDelight write:
Marzen said: "I would like to really meet someone and possibly start a relationship, but it appears the people are miles away. I have decided that I am not going to react quickly or be worried if I meet someone and they leave. There are too many people in the world.
As for the aithor of this thread I would suggest she forget the "whats inside" theory and be attractive as possible. That is where it starts."
~~~~~~~~
Marzen: I believe if we work on ourselves to be the best we can inside and out-then we are prepared to have enough self-confidence to be creative and keep that spark and interest going. \
And-Who says we can't be nice and spicy all in one? SweetNSpicy-that's my man.

DD and her 2 cents again...
And I thought I was going be quiet-hhehe.
Need duct tape! lol

You are right. I am sweet and spicy. LOL



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Posted on Sat, Nov 12, 2005 12:40

Reationships seem to fall apart over time. We often enter into one for the wrong reasons. Over a period of time we realize that. Or all the little things just get in way. The hurt feelings and other bullshit people just can't let go of. It keeps them going back to the same type of realtionship over and over again. They seek it out. It's never thier fault.

Most people I know that have been together for several years aren't really happy. They are stuck because of money, kids, it's what everyone expects, whatever. Yes it hurt's to lose someone you love. But life goes on.

Nothing last for ever including love. I know that's not the way it should be, but it is. People, friends, lovers all come and go from our lives. You can't get hung up in the past.



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Posted on Wed, Oct 26, 2005 13:59

There is no wrong or right for everyone!
You just try to your best a get to keep the cards your delt.
There is no wrong or right for everyone!
You just try to your best a get to keep the cards your delt.



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Posted on Thu, Oct 20, 2005 17:21

Dont look at the relaltionship as an ending- even though it may hurt not to have that one person in your life- look at it as a new beginning for you. The better you can be for yourself in the waiting of your one true prince to come-you will experience total bliss when it does come your way. behind every cloud is a silver lining.
Dont look at the relaltionship as an ending- even though it may hurt not to have that one person in your life- look at it as a new beginning for you. The better you can be for yourself in the waiting of your one true prince to come-you will experience total bliss when it does come your way. behind every cloud is a silver lining.



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Posted on Fri, Oct 14, 2005 20:06

Marzen said: "I would like to really meet someone and possibly start a relationship, but it appears the people are miles away. I have decided that I am not going to react quickly or be worried if I meet someone and they leave. There are too many people in the world.
As for the aithor of this thread I would suggest she forget the "whats inside" theory and be attractive as possible. That is where it starts."
~~~~~~~~
Marzen: I believe if we work on ourselves to be the best we can inside and out-then we are prepared to have enough self-confidence to be creative and keep that spark and interest going. \
And-Who says we can't be nice and spicy all in one? SweetNSpicy-that's my man.

DD and her 2 cents again...
And I thought I was going be quiet-hhehe.
Need duct tape! lol

  


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Posted on Fri, Oct 14, 2005 18:09

thats not true with all of us Harly,



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Posted on Fri, Oct 14, 2005 18:07

you know im sure it's not all the girls out there, but most i know, most i have been with are most i have seen, seems like they enjoy abuse, why this is i don't know,never in my life have a touched a female in anger and yet for some reason i loose the ones i really loved, then i find out they are with viloent men and staying with them as if that is the way life is,beats me how it works, it seems if you love someone and show them they don't like it, and they turn on you,i guess all i can say is if a woman need to be beat on to be happy, if not going to be with me,i guess i'll die alone,

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Posted on Tue, Oct 11, 2005 18:19

It's my experience that the women (and probably the men also) who ask for a "no games" straight shooter actually become bored very quickly with that type. These people say one thing, but actually thrive on the tit-for-tat drama!

Just my impression.



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Posted on Fri, Oct 07, 2005 21:11


46andlooking write:
hi im new to this site and i just read the question for the ladies and now im asking the guys.
Is there not any guys out there who wants a good ol'lady. And who isnt gonna dump her after a year. It hurts when you give everything you have and then be told that he wants to be single again. Please tell me.


Yes there are guy who want a good ol'lady problem is for me anyway finding one who wants a warn out old man who who's been unlucky in find one.



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Posted on Fri, Oct 07, 2005 06:21


HarleyChic1 write:

Corkey1100 write:
No person who is happy within themselfs ever want's to be treated badly or to treat anyone badly... First you must be happy with you! Really don't just say it feel it. Personnaly I would never treat someone badly, even if there was no spark. But please know that some of us are out here because are ladies changed from being the person we married to someone that would and did treat there mate badly. So hold you head up and keep looking and like yourself and others will follow.



OK - so then tell me something.
Every guy I've ever dated, and they have all been long term relationships I've never went out with anyone for less then 3 yrs. They have all told me the same thing - I'm too nice and too good for them.

"so, that tells me they don't want to be treated nice" you can't pick a fight with someone if there's nothing to fight about.

"So, if you guys don't like to be treated like crap, why would you tell the woman your with that there too nice to them and your too good of a person to be with them"??

I really don't understand you guys at all - AND it's not just one class of guys either. I've dated alot of guys. I've dated lots of bikers, Rich men, middle class and yes even poor guys and again the same thing. Maybe I'm doing something wrong.

Maybe I'm just too nice for you guys. So what are you guys really looking for in a woman?


Maybe it isn't the men. We all have certain parameters that we desire in a person. Especially someone we are entering into a relationship with. Not everyone is ready for a total committment. Take this forum for example. I have met 4 people here and they have been four extremes. I really wanted to date one of them and she wasn't ready. One was just email,and the others were just a meeting. I would like to really meet someone and possibly start a relationship, but it appears the people are miles away. I have decided that I am not going to react quickly or be worried if I meet someone and they leave. There are too many people in the world.
As for the aithor of this thread I would suggest she forget the "whats inside" theory and be attractive as possible. That is where it starts. I don't care what anyone says(and I am not being shallow, just honest) first impressions make a lasting and deciding imprint on a person. And, first impressions are the visible ones. I agree that a person can be very nice, but most people also want more.
B



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Posted on Thu, Oct 06, 2005 20:20

Hi,
To be straight up honest with you, I think some women (and men) get to quickly in a rut and become bored/boring with one another. They become comfortable with the other and simply assume they will be there. I am not saying this is bad but I am trying to say one or the other person stops trying to attract their mate. I am not talking about sex exactly but that intangible thing that you were initially attracted to at the beginning. I have been on both sides of this senerio. Its work...but when it works, its worth it.
Lastly, women lie but its been my experience that men lie much more. The line of your to nice is right up there with I just want to be freinds or maybe we should see other people. Its not truth and (in this case) a lie is not worth "I'm just trying to not hurt her feelings". This is bs and is really a line used for him (not for her) not to face the truth.
I hope this helps a little :)
Joe

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Posted on Tue, Sep 06, 2005 14:45


Bigbear2000 write:
"In my opinion "I'm leaving you because you are too nice", is so much BS. If they want adversity, they aren't worth the effort.
I've often wondered where consideration went. Say I'm out mowing the lawn or building fence; would it be too much trouble to bring me a glass of iced tea, without my asking? (and no, I don't ask, but will go get it myself) Would an inpromtu bit of affection be out of line? Maybe a pat, a quick kiss or a hug? Is it too much to ask, that when she comes in to sit down, maybe once in a while she foregoes her "spot" across the room and snuggles in next to me?
The final item n my wish list, is that she try to take an interest in what I enjoy doing, just like I do her interests. She wants to ride. If she wants her own bike, we'll get her one, if she wants to ride behind, that's fine too. So it seems to me that like a "good " man, a "good" woman is also difficult to find. : )



PDA'S are just as important and fun in private as they are in public!!!!



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Posted on Tue, Sep 06, 2005 04:49

"In my opinion "I'm leaving you because you are too nice", is so much BS. If they want adversity, they aren't worth the effort.
I've often wondered where consideration went. Say I'm out mowing the lawn or building fence; would it be too much trouble to bring me a glass of iced tea, without my asking? (and no, I don't ask, but will go get it myself) Would an inpromtu bit of affection be out of line? Maybe a pat, a quick kiss or a hug? Is it too much to ask, that when she comes in to sit down, maybe once in a while she foregoes her "spot" across the room and snuggles in next to me?
The final item n my wish list, is that she try to take an interest in what I enjoy doing, just like I do her interests. She wants to ride. If she wants her own bike, we'll get her one, if she wants to ride behind, that's fine too. So it seems to me that like a "good " man, a "good" woman is also difficult to find. : )



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Posted on Mon, Sep 05, 2005 08:34

Gefallen quote:-
So, I just try to remember the old Irish toast. "Dance like no one is watching, sing like no one hears you, and live each day like it was the last day of your life."
Love that quote. I have been treated very well in many of my adult relationships. It was only when I started doing the online dating thing a few years ago that I found out some men were liars, jerks, users. I have also found great guys through online dating who know how to genuinly love a woman and treat her with respect. I just haven't met my match yet. I know he will show up someday. I know I just have to keep putting myself out there to finally connect. In the meantime-I am having a lot of fun meeting people and am learning every day about the pitfalls of online dating and learning how to find out how trustworhty a man is from the beginning. If a man is respectful, considerate, a gentleman, shows maturity, etc, then I am willing to meet and have a good time. If he Bs's me, gets caught in a lie, or hits on me too hard, he gets the wave goodbye.
Thanks everybody for all the posts. It's been a real education reading everything.
Springer- Thanks as always for your words of wisdom- and what happened to your awesome new pic? It's not showing up on your posts.
Doubly Delighted to be here on BK.

  


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Posted on Sun, Sep 04, 2005 20:30

Hey all,

I dont think there really is an answer. If a guy is seeking just a short stay, then there is pretty much nothing that can be done to change that. The mind is set and the subconsious will follow.

I think the real issue is to ASK the question and inform the possible "next candidate" that you are not looking for a short stay but a permanent fixture. This will scare the short timers away. Also, dont give of your self (between the sheets) immediately. Wait, hold out, for a long long time and that will also weed out the desperate from the truly genuine guys.

Hope this helps, from a guys perspective



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