Life is tough and gets tougher all the time, take it as it comes and then go with it and make the best of anything and everything. No one can disapoint you only you can do that so don't expect more from anyone than you deserve and remember you are number one always and if not then you can't be the best for anyone else. Take baby steps and don't set your goals to high, if you do disapointment will follow. Set smaller goals and you will feel good when you reach them and then go on to the bigger ones. You will get there no matter what if you really want to. You are number one always and like I said that is the only way to be the best for anyone else there is.
Deva, I am a single Dad. I have 3 girls who are my world. When I went through my divorce, my girls demanded to live with me. One said she if she was forced to live with her mother that should would run away every day until they let her live with me or she got sent to the Juvenile Detention Center. The other said that she would have to be dragged from my house by the cops in handcuffs and forced to go with her mom, and if that happened she would make life miserable for her as long as she was there.
My whole life I have been told by my parents that I would never amount to anything because I didn't choose the path in life they wanted me to take. I've always been the "wild child" in my family. My brother has his masters degree and yet I make more money than him, but to my parents, I am still a failure. But to know my girls love me so much tells me that I am successful in this life, no matter what kind of money I make, what kind of mistakes I make, or what anyone else thinks. My girls love me as much as I love them, and that makes me a success to ME!
Life is about 2 things, because everything we do revolves around them. They are RELATIONSHIPS and RESPONSIBILITIES. I try to take good care of both. I value the relationships I have in my life, with friends, and family, and I try to be very responsible in all that I do.
It sounds like you have done the same to the best of your abilities. You do not need to get any else's approval, let your life speak for itself, and be proud of where you have came from and what you have accomplished with your children.
I realize you directed your post to Seeme1st and she is a very wise woman.
Now don't bark or lash out at me, as I don't bark much but I bite like hell.
You should be very proud of yourself for your accomplishments when you see yourself in the mirror. When you see yourself in the eyes of your successful children. And if you are as spiritual as you say, your reward is with GOD and within yourself. Pleae try to consider the source of who is patting whoever on the back. From experience, you be proud of you! Time serves justice in very mysterious ways. Hang it there.
Okay, I'll expose my softer side for one moment, I thoroughly enjoy hearing certain things and seeing signs of positive maturity my son displays on occasion. He has no bad habits, if he ain't workin he's fishin or huntin, yes, he's a redneck, just like "My Daddy's Son." lol.
LadyVulcan write: Insanity is hereditary. You inherit it from your kids..... lol. At times you just want to kill them. Other times you love them so much that it hurts. I wouldn't change one minute of my life as "Mom." My kids are grown now. My youngest just got married a month ago. Although I am looking forward to my new found freedom and life is now my own, it is still a sad day when your last one leaves the nest. You take a deep breath, hold it in and say, "ok, that was fun..... now what?" Lol. In all reality I am very proud of my kids and who they turned out to be. I have 2, a Son and a Daughter.
I agree completely with you. When I was young, I thought I never wanted kids...then of course sometimes you get what you didn't always think you wanted anyway..but they were a blessing in disguise...sometimes more of a disguise than others..sometimes I went to my room, sometimes I sent them to theirs..but they are all grown now, my youngest just married in Hawaii on last Thursday. They are 24, 22 and 20. But rest assured, sometimes they come and go still for assistance, they still need their mom, and I am grateful for that because as much as I love my freedom and independence, I still need them to need me. They know I love them, and they know I will always be here for them and will do for them what I can. I am now having the best time of my life, and they are proud of me (well mostly) and wish the best for me, but I believe they are actually more stunned of my activities than I have ever been of theirs. It is interesting, the turn of events.
Insanity is hereditary. You inherit it from your kids..... lol. At times you just want to kill them. Other times you love them so much that it hurts. I wouldn't change one minute of my life as "Mom." My kids are grown now. My youngest just got married a month ago. Although I am looking forward to my new found freedom and life is now my own, it is still a sad day when your last one leaves the nest. You take a deep breath, hold it in and say, "ok, that was fun..... now what?" Lol. In all reality I am very proud of my kids and who they turned out to be. I have 2, a Son and a Daughter.
I didn't have kids because if I did there would be the chance that they would turn out like me, and in that case I would have been under a moral obligation to the rest of the world to pinch their little heads off while they were young.
I never wanted kids when I was young and all the other girls were dreaming of the white picket fence. My kids were put in my life for a reason. I want more for them then I have ever wanted for myself. They make me a better person on a daily basis by teaching me patients. I still get to go out and raise a little hell, but at the end of the day it's not about me anymore, it's about them.
Are you sure you want to delete forum post?
(i)charish EVERY moment......even the ones where i want to strangle him....always have known he would make or break me,,,,,,fortunately for me.....he did both and for that I AM THANKFUL....wouldn't change one *ucken minute of it.....
Thanks for the cyber hug...it always makes my day when a kind deed or gesture is given. Kindness is easy to give and great to recieve. You truely are a kind caring person. Being is parent is the biggest challange of my life. I had 1 child born 3 months premature, and my second was healthy until 4 when she was diagnosed with Arnold Chari type 1...both kids are healthy and happy right now...and the challange right now is to hope i can instill confidence and self esteme in them. Thank you for your kindness...
LadyOnABike write: When My kids say they are bored, I tell them i wasnt put on this earth to entertain them...LOL They get so mad. Kids today are handed things, but seseme is right we are the ones at fault. We are the parents giving it to them. My kids know when its a shopping day or a looking day as i call them. If its a shopping day they know what to expect. If its a looking day, they know enough not to ask. What undermines me is when i say no and then thier dad say Yes. Thats when the kids get spoiled. Just my opinion.
i have alot of empthy for you on that one!!!!!
it is hard enough to raise kids when the 2 parents are in sink(sp) but when all one wants to do is undermine the other--it is the kids that suffer in the long run
my heart goes out to you!!!!! adn i know that you are doing the best you can and when the kids get older they will realize it and appreciate what you have done and sacrificed for them---i know it is difficult right now--buttttttttt it will get easier
cyber hugs and kisses to you for all the strength you show
When My kids say they are bored, I tell them i wasnt put on this earth to entertain them...LOL They get so mad. Kids today are handed things, but seseme is right we are the ones at fault. We are the parents giving it to them. My kids know when its a shopping day or a looking day as i call them. If its a shopping day they know what to expect. If its a looking day, they know enough not to ask. What undermines me is when i say no and then thier dad say Yes. Thats when the kids get spoiled. Just my opinion.
VTXtreme write: PMS ??? It is called being spoiled rotten. Kids want more and more now and the parents give in to keep them happy. Or just to shut them up. Give them an inch , they"ll take a mile and want more later. Think about it, did we have PS2 in our rooms? TV VCR DVD combo's??? I am lucky if I had a stick and a cardboard box to play with when I grew up. KIds now can't find anything to do with them selfs if it doesn't have a modem or cable hooked to it. This may not be a popular comment with most of you but just the way I see it. These comments are not of Biker Kiss or it's internet providers, and are not responcible for it's content. LOL. RIDE SAFE
this isn't the kids fault!!!!!!it is a result of the way they are being raised!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my daughter who was 24 in march got her 1st tv in her room for the christmas when she was 22
my son wanted one when he was younger--he mowed lawns for it and paid to have the cable wire extended himself
we had 2 tv's in the house--one in the den and one in the master bedroom(not to my liking) to me watching tv isn't for bed
for christmas when they reached 6th grade they would get a few things under the tree and some money--i would spend the entire day at the mall with them on the 26th--they could buy whatever they wanted--butttttttttttt there was no more money--they had to budget the $$$$ themselves
my 22 year old son and his wife bought a house in monroe ga nov 03 for 140k--they got the house on their own.
i made sure as a parent that the kids weren't always sitting in front of the tv--and out and about playing or on rainy days playing in the house
they were allowed to try different sports and always had chores to do--so what if they didn't dust to my liking--they did it and got better with doing it--and NO i wouldn't do it over again--live with it--didn't invalidate their work
i understand that people need to have a roof and clothes--buttt...
VIXtreme you r rite on the money.I always kept my self busy outside helpin daddy in the garden,fishin and chasin rabbits with my beagles.Did not sit down much.These kids now a days if they gotta get up and be active its a chore.
LOL Dont let my girls get wind of the chicken Theroy. They will be saying its all the chickens fault...LOL...Its hard enough for me to get them to eat anything. They get picked on in school for being to skinny. I remember a time when it was the kids overweight who got picked on.