lilspitfire63

Just saw your post this morning but will write anyway. So sorry to learn of your current diagnosis. My heart goes out to you because this is such a shock to handle and such a difficult battle to fight. It is not one to face alone. I lost my brother to cancer a year and a half ago and it was the most difficult nine months of my life. He was terminal when diagnosed and our family was totally devastated. We were very close and for the first time in my life, I felt totally helpless to be able and effect the situation in any way. We spent a lot of time together in those nine months and I suspect support from his family and friends helped carry him through the hard days. He told me a month before he died that the best thing he could say was he had rekindled old friendships that had long faded into the background. I watched day after day as these two old friends from high school would come to the hospital, bring lunch, feed my brother, turn him over in bed, hold his hand and laugh and cry together. I could see the appreciation in his face and I could feel the love his friends had for him. I hope you are in the company of friends and I am sorry to see you leave the site. I am very new here but have already learned there are many good and caring people here ready to help in an instant.

One of the things I learned though this ordeal was that people, friend or not, didn?t know how to express their feelings to my brother. More often than not, when a friend is ill, we can say ?hurry up and get well?. This was not possible in my brother?s case. Many people stayed away rather than face the uncomfortable situation of having to make conversation with a man who knew he was dying. What do you say? How do you act? Do you crack jokes? Is it ok to laugh? Do you talk about the inevitable day? So many people mistakenly assume their presence is not required or their presence will not be missed. This couldn?t be further from reality. The jokes, the light conversation, the laughter and the presence of people, comfortable or not, is a necessity and I hope that all of the people who read this and have a friend with a terminal illness, will take a few minutes out of their life and make contact with that person. Hard as it may be for you to do, that person will never forget your effort and the effect you will have on your friend cannot be measured in mere words.

You will be in my thoughts as the days and weeks pass and I hope friends will be there for you. I am sorry your Va friend has failed you in your time of need. Feel free to contact me if you need a shoulder for any reason. I am so aware that you need to personally live through this situation to understand the emotion, the hurt, the uncertainty and the devastation this terrible disease can wreak on friends and family. Hang tight sweet lilspitfire, many caring people will surface in the coming months that you never dreamed existed. Drop me a note when you can.

Randy (Va haha sorry bout that!)

Sorry that I didn't read this until the 11th..

I hope that you get this before your profile disappears altogether...

Please know that we're your friends too, and we've carried many of our family members through whatever tragedies they have gone through. Please - lean on us .. That's what we're here for.

If you've seen any of the postings about losing our Kitty last Saturday,
you will see how a family hurting
can hold each other together with just words...

Don't let one man sour your potential for allowing good friends into your life... because when I first joined, I was on the "hunt" for a man. And guess what I found - true friendship... and unconditional love..

So live up to your name - LilSpitfire.. and stick around...

xo

Darling I know where you are coming from. I have cancer also but I have met some wonderfull men that said that cancer doesnt define me my personality does!!! That man was shallow that you met and there are lovers out there to be found...trust me on this one. Good luck and God be with you. You will survive for we all do!!!

That is so sad. Your mom needed them there just as much as they needed to be there. Could have made them understand everything a little more and helped her instead of putting distance between them. I am sure that they will regret the choice they made later in life.
It could be them one day and I am sure they don't want to have that happen to them.

I know my brothers and sisters are the same as your siblings with my mom. My mom has dementia, and no one but I take care of her. They don't want to see her deteriorate. Very sad.

It feels very lonely at times, though I have my family and a few very close friends.
Thank you so much you are an angel.

My Name is Greg and I'm in a committed relationship with a wonderful woman. I read your post and want to send you my prayers and best wishes for you in your battle with this horrible desease. i DO A RIDE EVERY YEAR FOR the fight against cancer I lost my mother 11 years ago to cancer and this is the reason why I am responding to you. I have 3 brothers and a sister and during my mothers fight they were non exsistant when my mom passed I asked them why they were so distant during her battle and they told me that they just couldn't handle it. No it's not contagious but some people just cannot handle seeing someone go thru the pain and suffering, they don't realize how much friendship can help a person who battles thru this, they don't know how isolated a person feels or how alone it makes you.
I wish you well in your battle may God bless you and give you strenght and even though your membership may be up if you need someone to write when things get tough log onto this site and look for me BadBikerDawg and just post a message, I check on every once in a while and will get back to you if I see your post.
God speed and good luck you'll be in my prayers.
A Friend

Take care lilspitfire...Hugs & Prayers coming your way...
Peace