ok this is really chappin my hide, i have never walked the walk down the isle, guys i have dated that have been married vow to never get married gain,now why do they let one or two bad apples ruin the whole bunch?
I agree with Electra.. what the H**ll .......... moving your stuff to my place and taking over, DO NOT think sooooooooooooo. LOL
that is why I keep my place he keeps his and we stay over each others on weekends ( well that is when I am in a relationship, teehee) or not, *SMILES*
It is not just men, it is woman too.. when one gets hurt they do not want to go there again,,, so they tred very lightly. some ppl you get too close they run, we woman run too. but sometimes you meet that special someone and it could be good so you try, but ...
my theory is live with um at their place and your place. Love um, have fun; but marry again, not this gal.
People can fall in love with different interests but most times you have some of the same or should, It is healthy to have different things you like. Not always being together 24/7. There are many ways to make things work when you find he likes this a lil bit different than I and it is called > come on people now you know it.. you learned it in school many years ago, think now, teeheee
Think carefully before you get married. 60% of them end up in divorce. Problem is people change and tire of one anothers crap. Research what makes marriages work. Talk to people who have been married a long time. See if there is one of them that kept taking the others crap or if there is a way to coexist as a couple while still allowing some freedom in the relationship.
Simple issues...one likes loud music, the other doesnt, so the one that likes loud music suffers? One TV, two tastes. One likes to stay at home, other likes going riding...who wins. Sex gets unappealing, because you drop the anticipation part...no foreplay anymore.
All little stuff, but gets old real quick. Usually couples that last, are able to talk about what they like and dislike and somehow work out a sharing thing...basically where one just decides to compromise. You'll find as you age, compromise is not an option for many guys. The rewards are not great enough. Freedom to do their own thing is paramount. Hope this helps.
What I hate is if they move in with you. Your kitchen and bathroom are getting re-decorated. You can have brand new stuff, but if it is not the right color of the month you will be spending a ton to get it. I am not trying to be a smart punk, but it is a clash I do not want to go through again. I have a new independance about myself that I do not want to give up. I have in the past to end up alone again, so I am not interested in giving up a happy routine to end up in a divorce again.
Hey "Earthgoddess" just thought i'd tell yea I grew up in "Addison" . was a great place to grow up in back in my day, still stay in touch with a few of the ole Addison bunch !
Hope you find a nice guy !
Pete the Greek
Interesting question. In order to really answer it I'd first have to ponder the idea of getting married again....
My marriage was a good one, to be sure, and leaves me with many warm memories, but to do it again? I can't think of a reason why I would want to do that, and I can think of a lot of reasons why I wouldn't want to do that. It's not a matter of "a few bad apples spoiling it for the rest." It's more a matter of starting to realize that all the heart-to-heart-soul-mate-love-me-forever stuff just ain't in me anymore.
I feel the same way. I have been married twice and admit that both were not good decisions but thats water over the dam now. In any case I want to have an exclusive long term relationship and live with someone just cant do the paper thing again. I have done lots of soul seaching the last 4 years and know what I seek in a mate for now and forever. ANY MALE TAKERS??? :)
I would tell people if my third marriage did not work out I would turn Gay, I'm now divorced and I'm still straight. I think alot of times it said because it sounds good, but I know a lot of men that have a hard time admitting they made a mistake. I'm sure I have said it along the way. Heck, I would get married again. The good parts of marriage I enjoyed and miss.
IT Only takes one or two bad relationship and thats just in dating to know marriage is just a piece of paper ...when two can talk to each other with heart and soul is when they are one and that not a paper saying so it body mind and soul with a heart thats one
howboutnick write: Already bitten twice and for what? So the church recognizes you? I dont think so. I dont think people put enough into marriage for one thing and the other is its too damn easy to get out.My concern is whats going to happen to our kids and the future generations?
Re:The laws were changed...and now the divorce is as easy as going through a fast food line.
Why marry. I failed twice, so the problem is me. I'm convinced I'd be happier alone to do stuff on my own terms. I dont want to compromise. I'll entertain a lady now and again to practise my gentlemanly skills and I'll expect nothing in return...but thats it...its entertainment. This could change if I get into a cause and find a passionate woman to work with on the same goal. I'm tired...slaved to support 7 women, my 3 daughters, two wives and 2 mothers. I guess I burned out on that. I love women but next time I would want someone who was independent. Dont like my chances...so I'll most likely go it alone. I always thought I'd be married for life as I always thought of myself as a "nice and responsible guy". Well I feel like I got taken advantage of.....so I changed. No more Mr Nice Guy....
I think my image of man and wife has been obliterated...I would need to create a new version of that. I think men are all struggling with the Janus female one head, 2 faces...One side socially respectable dutiful wife, the other side a sexually liberated. Somehow, as the guy in the womens eyes, I feel like I always seem to come up inadequate...not enough money, enough looks, whatever. So...I'll ride alone and with peace of mind and fuggedaboutit. Served my time as Mr Nice Guy and Daddy Warbucks. Way too hard a problem to compromise with woman #3.Someone would have to impress the hell outa me and would I be worth it to them? Men are trained to chase the women...once we catch you, we have no clue as to what to do with you after that, specially long term. Used to be we could tell you what to do...but that aint working no more. Used to be you could ransom physical love and we needed you for that...no more, we have other places to get that. So we're snookered!! Good luck to those that want to continue the game and figure this out.
Weenie, what a unique concept! : )
That two could think so much of each other, they'd want it for the rest of their days? !!! Mercy !
The other day in a store, I saw a little old couple walking arm in arm. When they looked at each other, the love on their faces was obvious. You could tell that she was still seeing that handsome young man, who proposed marriage so long ago and in his eyes she was still that blushing bride, that he took to their wedding bed.
I'll take a double helping of whatever they are having. Thank you.