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Too Funny!! An ad I read on another site
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Posted on Sun, Nov 12, 2006 12:28

Looking for a woman who lies, cheats and steals...a lot!

I'd like to meet someone who is dishonest, lazy, mean, uneducated, unethical and rude.
A previous arrest record is not necessary, but would be nice.

You should know how to act like a queen, preferably a drama queen.
And not be afraid to talk openly about your feelings, even in a crowded movie theater.
You should also be a good communicator, understanding that yelling, screaming and swearing are effective in most conversations.

I'd like someone who is open-minded enough to believe that unicorns and leprechauns are real, but also believes that things like hard work, deodorant and exercise are just myths.
I like a woman who enjoys spending time at the beach, or on long hikes in the woods, as a way to hide from police until "things settle down".

You should enjoy a nice evening out shoplifting, or just staying home to cuddle with a nice porn video. And since I'm blind, you should be willing to describe all of the "scenery" in these videos for me.

I'm looking for someone who likes to dine out often, who isn't afraid to complain loudly about the food or the service, and maybe sneak out without paying the bill.
Or maybe just enjoy a few too many drinks, and argue with other customers.
Of course, you should also enjoy a quiet evening at home for a nice romantic frozen dinner as well.

I like someone with good vallues who appreciates the finer things in life, and knows how to get them without getting caught.
You should understand the value of a dollar, and not be afraid to take it from someone else when they're not looking.

If this sounds like you, or you think I'm serious...please get help!

First DateThis can go a lot of ways, but anything that ends with a police chase will likely lead to a second date.



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Posted on Wed, Apr 25, 2007 10:31

Sitting around, feeling sorry for myself, posting ascerbic comments, until I read your post.

I laughed until I was blue in the face!

You made my day.

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Posted on Fri, Apr 20, 2007 09:44

OMG...I finally found the perfect man!!!..hey is that?? yes it is *waving to Deuce* what u doing on the other side of the tracks?? LOL : )



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Posted on Tue, Mar 06, 2007 15:50

I know the gal he's lookin for.........should I send him her email address?????????........LMAO



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Posted on Fri, Feb 23, 2007 16:48

that was histerical,would like to see the chick that answears

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Posted on Fri, Nov 24, 2006 07:40

That is just too dern funny. I'm gonna use it. Hope it's not copywrited



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Posted on Thu, Nov 23, 2006 08:49

Yes it does take all kinds to make the world go round. But I think I will stay down to earth. Not too fun being in the clouds all the time.



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Posted on Sat, Nov 18, 2006 13:19

Cool, I liked reading that one. Ifound it pretty funny too. Thanks for posting it.



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