Looking for a woman who lies, cheats and steals...a lot!
I'd like to meet someone who is dishonest, lazy, mean, uneducated, unethical and rude.
A previous arrest record is not necessary, but would be nice.
You should know how to act like a queen, preferably a drama queen.
And not be afraid to talk openly about your feelings, even in a crowded movie theater.
You should also be a good communicator, understanding that yelling, screaming and swearing are effective in most conversations.
I'd like someone who is open-minded enough to believe that unicorns and leprechauns are real, but also believes that things like hard work, deodorant and exercise are just myths.
I like a woman who enjoys spending time at the beach, or on long hikes in the woods, as a way to hide from police until "things settle down".
You should enjoy a nice evening out shoplifting, or just staying home to cuddle with a nice porn video. And since I'm blind, you should be willing to describe all of the "scenery" in these videos for me.
I'm looking for someone who likes to dine out often, who isn't afraid to complain loudly about the food or the service, and maybe sneak out without paying the bill.
Or maybe just enjoy a few too many drinks, and argue with other customers.
Of course, you should also enjoy a quiet evening at home for a nice romantic frozen dinner as well.
I like someone with good vallues who appreciates the finer things in life, and knows how to get them without getting caught.
You should understand the value of a dollar, and not be afraid to take it from someone else when they're not looking.
If this sounds like you, or you think I'm serious...please get help!
First DateThis can go a lot of ways, but anything that ends with a police chase will likely lead to a second date.