And the male opinion is welcome!
To the ladies, I do so enjoy reading your posts. With your honesty, togetherness,great charm and beauty, how can you not be adored.
This will take several posts. I would like to say it's my friend,sister or neighbor but you would know better!!!LOL
This is a real life happening, and I will be totally honest in my thoughts,regaurdless of looking shallow or vain.
I would like your opinion--honesty-regaurdless if I agree, I will respect.
Ok--there is a musican I have liked for a while and on Sun. & Tues. nights he hosts a jam (nlues) Those are also family nights for me--so after family time and i have tucked in the grandchildren--off I go to the club. We recently realized that we may be too much alike--so I'm a biy disappointed but never the less I go to support him.-I have been going to this club for about 4 yrs--being very nieve on the bar scene at first, and picky about men. Everyone there (regulars-local artists--bartenders) keeps there eye on me and I am in a sense untouchable--not in a snoody way. And I rather like it that way.
So 3 weeks ago Sun.I'm there and run into a couple that rides, I would say aquaintance/becoming friends, that I had not seen in awhile.As we were talking, they asked if I was still single. I replied yes-and they looked at me and smiled-he took off towards the pool room and she gidishly leaned over and said great we have someone for you to meet. My thoughts were OMG! Her husband comes back smiling from ear to ear with this big guy right behind him. They have on their MC t-shirts
Do you think you were seeing this other guy as "goofy"/non-attractive because the guy in the band that you like was there?
Are you willing/wanting to be in a relationship? The mind/heart know when we just need to be alone....and makes us unapproachable...in many ways. Maybe your not ready.
Do you want him now because of the other girl? And what is their relationship... ?
Remember....people come into our lives for different reasons....
Get the facts - search your heart - just be yourself.
You didn't do anything wrong either time. Not going to breakfast wasn't an issue if he's a gentleman like you say, he understands that you have your own reasons. You didn't tell anyone there that you gave him a nickname. He may be going there now because of you; he may be because there are other fish in that particular sea. If you want to go out with him, tell him (or your friend's husband, since he knows him)next Sunday unless he comes in with a date.
BB......you took a lot of time to describe the first couple of times at the club while this guy was there......and then you took a lot of time to describe how you felt about it........Hopefully you'll put that kind of thought into whether or not you want to pursue this guy or not and if so, how you plan to do it. He sounds like a good person, and if you really want to connect with him you'll need to be honest from the beginning and follow through.......the very least you could end up with is a decent guy with a good sense of humor that has become your friend. And the best you could end up with? Well, GF, that's up to you! Good luck! Ride safe.....
Hey ya'll--ok Seems the lady he had with him was the one he last had a relationship with. It was something I said to him that made him stop and think. So when she called him to talk, he said my words went thru his mind more than once. Sometimes after a spouse dies the other does not allow(fully allow) another in their life. And most often they think that they are open to another love but aren't. So finding that out, I will not intrude. I did see him the other night in a different club--he was alone and so was I. I did get a nice big hug-lifted off the ground and we did chat on and off--and I introduced him to some local musicians. I did make sure when chatting that when those ocward moments came--I excused myself to mingle. I do not want to sway that other relationship at all. I do still think he likes me. And while chit chatting, I learned he is a really neat person. I did learn a lesson from this. And I will not avoid going to the clubs even when he/they are there. I truely wish him the best regaurdless of which direction him and that lady goes.
sorry lakeland--my computer crashed. I'm on my daughters at her house. There is more of the story, but the grandkids are due home any time and will want my undivided attention so I will see if I can write late tonight or tomorrow.
Most people only get one chance in life, be it health or happines. You make the second chance happen so you can bite the cherry again. Tell him how it is, no going round the edges straight up the middle. Hope you're getting better.
BB....I understand where your coming from. Sometimes it just takes a little time & thought before you realize that you DO really like someone...and for the goofyness! They GROW on you!
And I think the guy is STILL interested in you....so....if your interested..LET HIM KNOW!! Go after what you want. You never know where it may go if you don't try.
As far as the other woman..I wouldn't read a lot into that. Maybe that was his way of getting your attention. Worked didn't it??!! LOL
Go for it! You got my support! And let us know how it's going.
Hey I went out with someone for a drink, we had some things in common, got along fine (I think) but we both got pretty busy with life after that (at least I did) and we haven't returned too many calls since.
No biggee, they were nice, I'd totally go out and see a band with them, or something, but I don't think it's like Dr.Chivago or anything like that.
You can't push everyones buttons ... sometimes it's better not to try. Just let it slide by, something will turn up sooner or later.
Sounds to me that you are not sure of yourself when you find a "good" man. I am not going to go into that too deeply. If you did not stop seeing him in a negative fashion I would just tell your friends that you like this guy and would like to go out with him again. They probably will in turn tell him and if he is still interested in you then he would do the first move. But remember he is seeing another lady. If he does not show any interest in you, you are going to have to chalk it up to experience and hopefully learn from it.
Take care stay safe and ride with the wind at your back.
OK, this is really irritating me. First you start this and then you don't tell us the out come. Did you call him? Did he call you? WHAT HAPPEND? Geez this is wose the a seaon finale of StarTrek that ends with "To be continued....."
I'm with Chessie. THe guy was in the bar because he knows you go there. As long as you weren't nasty in turning him down the first time he ask you, which is not the impression I get, and as long as nothing serious is developing with this other chick, in which case you need to step off, contact him and see if he wants to go for coffee. You met him for a reason, find out what it is. Peace.
BB,
I find myself looking to meet someone and I look for how available someone is as a person or shows interests in me. I know having things in common is nice but we still don't connect, so I move on. I also know that I can be moving so fast (going noware) I don't notice someone unless they stand right in front of me. This guy maybe doing that. I do not live with the lose you but but 3 years ago I can out of a relationship I felt so damaged it took along time. I hope this makes sense and if I'm off track let me know. Spyder
pg 3...along who is not a what you physically expected, ect..., you run and become a bitch...lol..(gotta love her)....maybe its time to let someone in who respects and treats you like the lady you are, and will be there no matter what, and who has a heart"....i know she is right, so i guess in all honesty-i don't really know wha the fuck i am saying....lol.....but if you find yourself thinking of him and smiling at times, hey-maybe you got yourself a winner.....
pt. 2....now if i got this right, he was gentel and understanding....and a heart of gold...in the end that's priceless...i really understand what your saying but have a hard time explaining myself....i am kinda in the same situation with someone...and i ask myself what the hell is wrong with me....so i asked the smartest person i know-my daughter.lol...she told me...."you have always picked people that your knew deep inside the relationship would never last because you still expect the worse to happen, and still afraid to let the good ones in, and things won't be the same because you are not the same, and if someone (con'T)
babybaby-first hope your health is better ...i read what you wrote and if i get it right, this guy you met-he's not the one you liked or was interested in, not what is physically, in your past expereince, what you would go for, and started out goofy in your first impression....so if i did understand it right-heres my oponion....everyone is placed in your life for a reason for the season...it's hard when someone comes along and is not what we expect or we have to try and figure out if we even like them...maybe there are no fireworks or palpating heart when you see them at first, and that just alone makes us question our feelings....i think we expect that, like we did when we were younger..but he made you smile and laugh, and there is no price on that one (con't)
BabyBaby --- you poor thing! Here's my 2 cents .... as CatchMe says, you don't have a 2nd chance at a first impression BUT in YOUR defense, I think that the "crew" juz might have put a little bit too much pressure on the situation. Granted they were trying to help, it sounds like you had just way too much going on in your head. Don't close the door. Be honest with your group. Let them know you felt painted into a corner, or at least that's what I got out of your message. Tell them you don't want to burn the bridge and you want to try again. You like suprises, but you just need time to get your head around it first. They will understand hopefully. The greatest networking tool you can have is your friends and they truely have your best interests at heart, darlin. Now as for the guy ... hmmmm --- I would venture a guess that he might reconsider if you two get the time to know one another, but he may not give it another chance. You gotta think about what you want. If you want another try, tell him. Regardless of what has transpired already, he's still there for the taking, unless he fell in love with this girl instantly, which does happen also. It's all up to you. Your life is your hand. Play it to win!
talk to the female partner of the couple that fixed you up--get his # and give him a call and ask him out for a cup of coffee or dinner--and yes you felt on the "spot"--a good man that stays in our minds is hard to find--don't let the opportunity pass you up and wind up with regrets
grab the bull by the horns and live life to the fullest
First I was tempted to make a snotty comment but then I read the whole thing again and decided otherwise. GIVE HIM A SECOND LOOK. Have that dinner with him. Personally I think you should call your couple friend ask for the dudes number and call him to take him up on his dinner offer. You shot him down at first and now you have second thoughts. You are a biker chick. Use the balls you display and call him. Tell him that you simply want to learn more about him, no deeper meaning and you will take it from there.
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