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Posted on Sat, Jan 07, 2006 11:12

There have been quite a few that have surprised me lately. In posts and off.
I'm gonna start getting righteous on ya all's azz's....Nodey style.

  


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Posted on Sat, Jan 07, 2006 10:52

Bottom line...he's probably a liar. He told you what you wanted to hear. Period.

IF the entire trip was on you, he should have been a man and stepped up and offered to contribute something. That is strange to me that any man would let a woman pay for everything, plan for everything, and decide everything. Hell, if it DID bother him, he should have been man enough to stand up and say something.

I really think some of the comments made to you personally are unnecessary. H1A, this surprises me of you. You say some pretty harsh things to her regarding her being unstable, desperate, etc. I don't see where anything she did or said made her any of these? She made a nice gesture, sounds like he took advantage of her kindness, then ditched her when he got what he wanted. How does that make her any of these? It appears the man led her to believe there was a future there, then he puts on the breaks without telling her first. How else should a girl feel? You really surprised me with your comments and personal attacks...not sure I've heard you like this before. What's going on?!?

Gypsy, if you are just going through or finishing up a divorce, you more than likely pretty vulnerable at this time. Take care of yourself right now, not some man you met on a website. You need you right now.

Chalk it up as his loss. Thank your lucky stars you found out when you did about how he is...not after commitments or vows. And feel sorry for the next girl he lies to or takes advantage of.

  


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Posted on Sat, Jan 07, 2006 09:59

I have been designated the new BK hall monitor. You all behave in here.

  


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Posted on Sat, Jan 07, 2006 08:04

Thank you. I will apologize for the long post and I will refrain myself from doing that again. Like I said I am on other forums and each is different. I take it this is more of a chit chat forum rather than a discussion forum. The last thing I want to do is antagonize anyone. My bad.

On another note, though, I can honestly say that I am not looking for a full-time, long-term relationship at this point in my life. I am not desperate for a man - I was married for 12 years and not planning on going down that road anytime soon.

My intentions with this thread were not what everyone seems to be thinking. I wasn't looking for anyone to take sides or to tell tell me I was right and he was wrong. I'm not obsessing over it and I'm certainly not feeling sorry for myself. I don't need a man in my life just for the sake of having one, I'm looking for my best match and want to be his best match.

And I'm hoping to make some riding friends along the way.



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Posted on Sat, Jan 07, 2006 06:22

frenchgypsy write:
I'm curious, is there a "limit" to how long posts should be on here or what they should be about? I certainly wouldn't want to be violating some code of ethics.

I'm on numerous other Net forums on various topics and even run a few of my own, and all have different guidelines. I haven't found anything here that gives specifics as to what is allowed and what is not.

Can someone enlighten me?

how about getting to the point before the less enlightened of us fall to sleep...that not a guideline...just a request because my head keeps smashing into the freakin keyboard..

  


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Posted on Sat, Jan 07, 2006 04:54

Ok I have to speak up!! The post is and was very lengthy .I dont think anyoine is right or wrong here.Opinions are like azzholes everyone has them.Thus this brings me to state mine!
I didnt think she was beggin for attention or trying to play the poor me .I believe she was mearly getting this off her chest!Thats what these forums are for and its working here.She obviously wanted some feedback and the women are not being nice and the men are ....I never side with anyone and will never do so.I love the fact that we are americans and can say what we want to even at the risk of being flamed.I think maybe frenchy needs to work on herself lil more and not worry bout finding man.Thats what I am doing!



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Posted on Sat, Jan 07, 2006 04:44

Sorry...i apologize...big mouth.



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Posted on Sat, Jan 07, 2006 03:05

Hey Gypsy ... I was trying to read your posts and bk kept logging me off ---- in other words ... TOO LONG girlfriend!

Angel ... you gettin into trouble again, honey? You such a BAD GIRL ---- Hee hee hee hee!!!!!!!



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Posted on Sat, Jan 07, 2006 00:02

I'm curious, is there a "limit" to how long posts should be on here or what they should be about? I certainly wouldn't want to be violating some code of ethics.

I'm on numerous other Net forums on various topics and even run a few of my own, and all have different guidelines. I haven't found anything here that gives specifics as to what is allowed and what is not.

Can someone enlighten me?



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Posted on Fri, Jan 06, 2006 23:40

frenchgypsy write:
The one thing you will notice from me is that I do like to have discussions. I like to make people think and I especially like to create new thought processes in people.

I didn't post this story because I felt sorry for myself or because I wanted to point the finger at him. I wanted to share this story to create discussion. The thread is about why some men are nice and all of a sudden, they show a different side of themselves.

I live a very conscious life and have very different point of views about life. I even teach seminars about this and I'm well on my way to getting my life coach certificate. Once I achieve that, my focus will be on being a relationship coach. I am actually in the process of creating a new kind of dating web site - one that focuses on creating pro-active searches for the right "life" partner.

I'll probably end up annoying a few people here with my posts, but that's okay, as that is how it is supposed to be. We are all different and rather than try to readjust ourselves to fit with as many people as possible, I believe one should consciously realize who they truly are and find the people that fit with that. Be it in friendships or relationships.

gypsy, Sounds to me like this is part of the class you are taking and need to do some research get the people to comment and and see how they react to you and the scenario you set up about being given the cold shoulder while being the caring loving woman . Hope you get at least a B +



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Posted on Fri, Jan 06, 2006 19:40

Ummmm No Comment



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Posted on Fri, Jan 06, 2006 18:01

Ms gypsy---your wine glasses are pretty...hope you don't think I'm being judgemental by saying that!!!! SH!T! Give me a break!!! That's right I can say it like it is!! Not being judgemental about the wine glasses you think??? I am simply stating facts that you have shown in your post...I am not judging you...you just seem to think so after going and looking at my profile that I am!!! Not trying to cause an argument at all about judging...believe me i also dont like to be judged...BUT GIVE ME A BREAK!!! I AM NOT BLIND!!! Just telling it like it is...sorry if it hurt you...got to work on being less crass I guess....but when you get long winded on the forums...expect people like me to respond and try not to be so shocked...you are a very sexual lady...good...me too...but don't try and fool me on what your doing in the first place by posting the story of .."Oh! Poor me...dressing up in lingerie EVERY night and he didn't notice me" crap....you got some of the guys to look but remember you can fool some of the people some of the time,,,etc. etc. just letting you know your caught...just be real.

  


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Posted on Fri, Jan 06, 2006 11:52

i think the one thing that we all must remember is that we all have our own code of morals that are given/learned by/in the society we grow/live

my daughter is studying cultural anthropology--and one of the papers she had to do was based on just this--as an anthropologist going into other cultures they need to accept their codes without judgment--a very hard thing to do

we as Americans have that problem more than others being most Americans are less traveled--part of that comes from 2 of our boundries and most of a 3rd one being water--so our cultural exchanges have been more limited

if asked we feel we are the most liberal yet according to others we are the most puritan



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Posted on Fri, Jan 06, 2006 11:49

Actually one more thing - a selfish plug!!

Here are some pics of my wine glasses:

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Posted on Fri, Jan 06, 2006 11:04

The one thing I will clarify is that I am not angry at this person. Should he ever call me back, I would tell him that I would more than be happy to go riding with him but that a relationship is obviously not in the cards.

My post was long and included way too many details but I meant nothing by it other than to point out my confusion as to why this would happen. Obviously, I did push one button of his that touched a sensitive nerve. Much was discussed between us that led me to believe that we were on the same track for many things. This getaway was not about control, it was about showing someone that I cared about that I had been listening to what he said he needs were and I was happy to fulfill them.

I like discussion, I like debate and I like to express myself. I do not impose my views on anyone and I never pass judgement on anyone. I read words rather than put intrepretation on them.

We are on this earth to live our lives individually and socially. There is not getting around that. Each and everyone of us strive to create a circle of friends who complement (there is a difference between complIment and complEment) us.

Harleys1Angel: You are entitled to your opinion and obviously you are quick to judge people. Whether I agree with you or not is irrelavent. A few words on a post like this cannot possibly paint a complete picture. I was not looking for approval or to be told what I did right or wrong. Each person on this board would have a different opinion about this because everyone sees things differently.

My post was not about right or wrong, it was simply about sharing some events that I felt belonged in this thread.

If you read my words carefully, you will see that I no point to I call this person a jerk or say that he did something wrong. I was surprised by his reaction to my comments. I was surprised at his behaviour because it was totally different than what I had encountered in the two months that we dated.

As for your personal comments about me, well again, you are entitled to your opinion. I don't ever think that I am better than anyone or know more but I do embrace who I am. We live in a society of conformists and that is one thing that I am definitely not.

As for the lap dance - I am not a possessive or jealous woman and actually enjoy the beauty of a woman's body. I am quite comfortable with my sexuality and can appreciate that a man has a "biological" need to look at women. Our strip clubs are much more liberal than those in New York state where this person is from. He mentioned that he would like me to accompany him to a club on day and to partake in a lap dance. I decided to include that in my plans during our getaway. I'm such a terrible and selfish person!

This may go directly against YOUR values but that doesn't really matter, does it?

So on that note, that's the end for me on this thread. But, I'm looking forward to putting my two cents worth in these forums.



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Posted on Fri, Jan 06, 2006 07:11

...WHY would you expect any respect from a new potential boyfriend when you offered to have any girl he wanted to do a lap dance for him....when he didnt pick you to do it...you should of dumped him then!




This is terrific advice ! If any of you guys are ever in this situation this is totally the best answer you could come up with and I'm embarrassed to admit I would never have thought of it !!The best I could have done might have been ( I don't need a dance , I only have eyes for you ) But actually picking your date to dance in the middle of the club , priceless !!!!



Anyway just a quick testosterone perspective . The guy might have been a terrific guy and just wasn't interested . It doesn't make you or him a bad person. I think it is terrific that you put all that effort into your weekend , but perhaps that type of effort is best saved for a one year anniversary . Perhaps he was just overwhelmed . I personally find it very hard to recieve that type of extravogant gift , perhaps he felt the same .
Or perhaps "He just wasn't into you".
Bear



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Posted on Fri, Jan 06, 2006 02:39

frenchgypsy write:
I'm not going to go on and on with this but as I was cleaning out my (seems we can't use the word that decribes electronic messages), I saw the first message I received from this man.

Part of it is just too ironic. I can only shake me head!

"I like your description of yourself, especially the expression "deep thinker". One of my passions is for intelligent conversation and it just seems so hard to find someone who can have a good conversation without
emotions, opinions, and stubborness getting in the way."

What else can I say? lol

Gypsy
Ummm I don't beat around the bush well, so FWIW, I'm thinkin for whatever reason he didn't like you or something about you which is fine, but the way he handled everything or failed to handle everything sukked!! Sounds like you tried hard to make a connection and try to get to know him, and maybe there wasn't that much to know, either way count yourself lucky that you found out that soon rather then after 6 months or a year, cuz that does happen!! Just keep rollin along I'm sure you'll stumble on some lucky guy that'll trip yer trigger and you'll do the same for him. Hopefully he'll even be able to have conversations!!!!

Keep ridin and smilin
Peace
DOC

  


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Posted on Thu, Jan 05, 2006 21:35

SpringerSoul write:
tripper2006 write:
revolutionarypassion write:

Rev, I shortened your post, don't expect to be right on, but here's my opinion, the guy is telling half truths trying to control the hurt he feels he's eminently dumping on 2 people he cares about. He's doing the best he can to control damage, emphasis on THE BEST HE CAN DO, it remains up to you what you decide to do with the best he can do.

Best of luck, nothing's perfect, follow your heart but steer with your instincts.

Tripper I can see why you are in a relationship.

Nodey,

You had one advantage...intimacy and privacy.
You two were allowed to work out your issues or problems without either one trying to publicly bully you into Loving them. A relationship is two people drawing into themselves to combat the world not two people drawing the world into their combat.
It really damages any chance of romance when individuals think they can force Love on someone.

Sometimes individuals run into a burning house to rescue somone and in the flight forget their own stove is still on.
Does it really serve any purpose when the rescued trys to humilate the rescuer for not shutting off their stove before running into their neighbors house to save them and loosing their house in the process?
Now we have two houses burned down but both individuals are alive. Sometimes we don't make the best choices when we just react, but we are still alive to learn and make the best of it if we allow it.
Although many have sued a Good Samaritan in the past because they weren't medically trained regardless of the help they attempted to provide.
It is just bitterness and needing someone to blame for a bad situation instead.

Peace and Happy New Year


I'm pleading the fifth.

  


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Posted on Thu, Jan 05, 2006 21:10

Hi Gypsy...I am going to be honest with you here because you posted your situation and "say" that you respect people and are different...

you are very easy to figure out....i honestly hope you dont pursue a career in that field...you might mess up a lot of women...first of all you are p!ssed that you were put on the back burner so looking for attention came here to post and talk bad about this guy...he doesn't like you..get it?? and you don't need every man to like you....why would he behave any different??? i am in agreement with what Jade had to say to you...and when she spoke her thoughts to you...you couldn't even take in ANY of it for yourself because of your pride.....girl...WHY would you expect any respect from a new potential boyfriend when you offered to have any girl he wanted to do a lap dance for him....when he didnt pick you to do it...you should of dumped him then! DUH! do you think he looks at you and says.."what a wonderful woman" "cares so much for me" "i think i want to marry a woman like that" no...he looks at you for sexx and when he's satisfied or tired you then get p!ssy and mad...why would he want to stick around??? give me a break...you have no sympathy here...you sound desperate...emotional..and unbalanced...i do hope you learn a lesson from your actions and change...PLEASE DO NOT TEACH MY DAUGHTER ANYTHING!!!!!



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Posted on Thu, Jan 05, 2006 18:55

frenchgypsy write:
." The thread is about why some men are nice and all of a sudden, they show a different side of themselves."

I live a very conscious life and have very different point of views about life. I even teach seminars about this and I'm well on my way to getting my life coach certificate. Once I achieve that, my focus will be on being a relationship coach. I am actually in the process of creating a new kind of dating web site - one that focuses on creating pro-active searches for the right "life" partner.

I'll probably end up annoying a few people here with my posts, but that's okay, as that is how it is supposed to be. We are all different and rather than try to readjust ourselves to fit with as many people as possible, I believe one should consciously realize who they truly are and find the people that fit with that. Be it in friendships or relationships.

." The thread is about why some men are nice and all of a sudden, they show a different side of themselves."
I think the same is true about women. The different side is merely the "shadow" and depending on how much shadow work one has done it can either rule the roost or be in unison with one's life.
I have often said it before and fell victim to not heeding my own advice, that one must take time to let the costume presented be known as either the true skin or a costume. I think once we give each relationship its proper time not only will we know who that person is but what our role is in their life. I think often times we are too urgent about fulfilling the role we desire and not seeing what our role really is in that persons life.

Being a life coach and your website sound like a great idea. However, again I question what is intention and what is Grace?
I think the truest thing I have seen is that individuals male and female all have some romantic image in their minds of what their ideal or "promise" is. Often times it doesn't take in to the equation two things
a) I am not perfect
b) what has formed this romantic idea and how does my experience shape its plausibility?

The other aspect is that often our historic image has one intention for us that is counter to our imagined image.
Everyone knows of someone if not themselves that self sabbatoges a good thing almost unknowningly whether for the beginning or somewhere along the line. Or who really desires a good relationship and always chooses a bad relationship.

I think the true beginning of any good relationship reallly isn't seeking out with intent to find the partner but in seeking out with intention a better awareness of "who I am" and what centers I am operating out of.
When I know my shadow, wiseman and the aspects of my psyche that focus my attention and my repulsion, I will be more able to relate to something truly new and wonderful in my life because when I first en counter it, it will be foreign and uncomfortable because I do not "know it" by experience.

Always enjoy a good conversation.
Good luck on your certificate and don't worry about annoying people some of us on here enjoy the discussions.



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