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Tell me your opinion
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Posted on Mon, Apr 17, 2006 09:46

OK. These are my feelings on a subject. It has happened but a while ago. Not right or wrong-just your opinion.
I told someone that before I met them I really didn't care who or what they did. That was the past and I had no control or input over that. I did say that if I had a relationship with someone and we parted that I would not want to see, contact have sex or talk with them again. I just said that since I really cared for her I just couldn't stand the possibility of seeing her with someone else. It would hurt even though we were not together. She doesn't get the part that I could just drop her and never want her. She thinks that it isn't fair to the other person. I explained that if you don't want to be with me now then why would I want to be with you later. I know its childish but when I break up in a relationship I just don't want to think of that person being with someone else. Or, at least, not for a length of time. She even stated that what if after a time she wanted to come back? I said no. When you leave that's it. Am I being to childish?



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Posted on Fri, Jun 30, 2006 19:42

I had to leave once. Not for another man but to deal with some legal matters with my family. But I loved him dearly. He felt that I abandoned him and it went downhill from there. So saying if someone loves you enough they wouldn't leave in the first place seems true on the surface. There are always exceptions.
You sound as if you know what you want to do regardless of the pain you know you will go through. That is a really tough thing to stick to your guns like that. Give yourself some credit and a break too..only you know what is best for you and you seem to be standing firm. Take care.



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Posted on Wed, Apr 26, 2006 18:21

In my honest opinion... I don't think you need to be used as a doormat. Seems to me she has some childish ego issues goin on. If she wanted you that bad she wouldn't of left a good thing in the first place. And if she was that confused over what she wanted.. ya don't need that either. It means she's still looking and if she comes back its because she didn't find what she hoped to find and then would be settling for something second best.. Which also means in the future if she comes across what she was looking for then she'd leave you again.
Scr*w that.
If someone loves you.. really loves you they dont have a reason to be confused. And if she was foolish enough to let go of one bone to go dig for another then she deserves to end up with what ever hand she's delt because of it. Don't give it a second thought and put as much distance as you can between yourself and the ditz that has no idea what she's looking for in life.

Playing head games is never cool and letting yourself be the back up man incase her plans fall through is only gonna hurt you more later.



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Posted on Mon, Apr 24, 2006 13:32

Not childish at all, I hope, since I never go back. I have always used the "one door closes, another door opens" rule. I do have a couple of ex-girlfriends who are real close. One has been my most trusted friend for over 15 years. But I would never date her again. Another x-GF still calls my son on his birthdays even after 10+ years. One thing I can say with absolute honesty, I have never regretted the door closing when it has. It's a step forward in life. Good choice in telling her adios. She will figure it out sooner or later.



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Posted on Sun, Apr 23, 2006 05:42

Three words: Never say never.



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Posted on Fri, Apr 21, 2006 20:09

It depends on the relationship and the people involved. I am really good friends with my one of my ex boyfriend, it hurt alot but we just realized we loved each other but not enough to stay together, he is really one of my best friends now. so it depends.People come into your life for a reason just have to focus on the good not the bad.. Just my opinion



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Posted on Fri, Apr 21, 2006 08:10

Suzananana write:
Blondeambition write:
Very well put Suzana, go with your gut feeling, its a guide. I went against my gut feelings a few times and boy I should of listened. He's putting out the bait again and you know what, I'm not biting. My gut says no and the red flags are a flying!!! Yippie.......I'm growing up, ha,ha!!!! Da*m, what took me so long


Don't bite on that bait gf, or I'll personally git my arse out there and very gently remove the hook from your mouth ... Remember - I speak from experience lmao...

And always - I repeat - ALWAYS - trust those red flags..... They don't lie....

It's all about our women's intuition, and as many times as I have gone against my gut, I've been kicked in the heart...and then beat myself up for not trusting my gut in the first place....

What a crazy thing this finding the "one" is huh? But it's what we want, so we'll just keep on keepin on... and hopefully learn from every bad experience....

What else can a woman do?

But Jeeeeezuz....how many frogs do we have to kiss until we find him??? lmao
There's SOOOO much Compound W in my medicine cabinet hahahahaha....

Oh - most importantly, a sense of humor about the whole thing really seems to work for me. When I look back on my last "ex" and his actions vs. his words, I just shake my head. Said one thing and did another. He didn't walk like he talked, and to me, that's the ultimate deal breaker..... So not only did I not shed a tear, I sat and laughed at how stupid I was to once again not go with my gut and heed those red flags which were poppin up all over the place....

But he wasn't bad guy, just not the "one"....and I wish him well..... far away from me lol....

And speakin of "growin up"? Makes me think of the Sprigsreen song lmao...

Feel free to email me anytine gf...

xo

~~~Suze

Thanks Suze, guess what, I didn't fall for the bait and he realizes that now and he's leaving me alone now. I always went back before, but no more!!! He was the first guy I went out with in 3 yrs. after my husband died. I guess I was vulnerable, and thats ok. I survived. The talk the talk and walk the walk, boy I know all too much about that one. You have a great attitude, humor is a great healer. Thanks again, My best, Terie

  


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Posted on Fri, Apr 21, 2006 08:03

MilBrat63 write:
Blondeambition write:
Very well put Suzana, go with your gut feeling, its a guide. I went against my gut feelings a few times and boy I should of listened. He's putting out the bait again and you know what, I'm not biting. My gut says no and the red flags are a flying!!! Yippie.......I'm growing up, ha,ha!!!! Da*m, what took me so long

Well ya had the "Ambition".. but maybe the "Blonde" was holding you back..
Hell you were prob. in love, and love lets us do some stupid things sometimes.

Your right Milbrat, I was inlove, so glad my eyes opened up.



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Posted on Fri, Apr 21, 2006 06:48

andi346 write:
good moring all im sure so this im happy reson your best friend there people andi


ummm... what??



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Posted on Thu, Apr 20, 2006 09:48

I have done both--remained friends or ended all contact. It is easier to remain friends if there weren't many feelings involved--for example if I dated them for awhile but just didn't fall in love.

Of the two friendships I have with ex's where feelings were involved, the one of them is cool cuz we were just friends before we had a relationship, so it just went back to the way it was. I am happy that he's found a wonderful woman. The other one is currently dating (supporting is more like it) a junkie who steals from him. Of course when I tell him that he must do certain things to protect himself because he has to have locked doors in his own home, he thinks I am just being jealous. Now mind you I am not telling him to ditch the biotch, but to get "valuables" and guns out of the house while she is in residence because she is a liability. Needless to say I can't really deal with being friends with him right now when he is nasty to me because I care about his safety. So I guess I have to take it on a case by case basis.

You are certainly not childish for protecting your heart and doing what is best for you.



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Posted on Thu, Apr 20, 2006 05:03

Blondeambition write:
Very well put Suzana, go with your gut feeling, its a guide. I went against my gut feelings a few times and boy I should of listened. He's putting out the bait again and you know what, I'm not biting. My gut says no and the red flags are a flying!!! Yippie.......I'm growing up, ha,ha!!!! Da*m, what took me so long


Don't bite on that bait gf, or I'll personally git my arse out there and very gently remove the hook from your mouth ... Remember - I speak from experience lmao...

And always - I repeat - ALWAYS - trust those red flags..... They don't lie....

It's all about our women's intuition, and as many times as I have gone against my gut, I've been kicked in the heart...and then beat myself up for not trusting my gut in the first place....

What a crazy thing this finding the "one" is huh? But it's what we want, so we'll just keep on keepin on... and hopefully learn from every bad experience....

What else can a woman do?

But Jeeeeezuz....how many frogs do we have to kiss until we find him??? lmao
There's SOOOO much Compound W in my medicine cabinet hahahahaha....

Oh - most importantly, a sense of humor about the whole thing really seems to work for me. When I look back on my last "ex" and his actions vs. his words, I just shake my head. Said one thing and did another. He didn't walk like he talked, and to me, that's the ultimate deal breaker..... So not only did I not shed a tear, I sat and laughed at how stupid I was to once again not go with my gut and heed those red flags which were poppin up all over the place....

But he wasn't bad guy, just not the "one"....and I wish him well..... far away from me lol....

And speakin of "growin up"? Makes me think of the Sprigsreen song lmao...

Feel free to email me anytine gf...

xo

~~~Suze

  


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Posted on Thu, Apr 20, 2006 04:45

good moring all im sure so this im happy reson your best friend there people andi



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Posted on Wed, Apr 19, 2006 22:15

Yep If Ya Really care about your ex
ya would b glad they r with somone that
makes em Happy.



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Posted on Wed, Apr 19, 2006 19:18

Blondeambition write:
Very well put Suzana, go with your gut feeling, its a guide. I went against my gut feelings a few times and boy I should of listened. He's putting out the bait again and you know what, I'm not biting. My gut says no and the red flags are a flying!!! Yippie.......I'm growing up, ha,ha!!!! Da*m, what took me so long

Well ya had the "Ambition".. but maybe the "Blonde" was holding you back..
Hell you were prob. in love, and love lets us do some stupid things sometimes.



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Posted on Wed, Apr 19, 2006 08:55

Very well put Suzana, go with your gut feeling, its a guide. I went against my gut feelings a few times and boy I should of listened. He's putting out the bait again and you know what, I'm not biting. My gut says no and the red flags are a flying!!! Yippie.......I'm growing up, ha,ha!!!! Da*m, what took me so long

  


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Posted on Wed, Apr 19, 2006 08:03

childish?....not at all.........i agree with you and i am the same way---breaking up is hard enough so why keep pouring salt into a wound...



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Posted on Tue, Apr 18, 2006 15:43

Naa, your not being childish, your just doing whats right for you.

Breakups are hard, everyone handles them differently.. My -ex and I are kind of indifferent toward each other.. might not speak for weaks at a time. Yet I have old girlfriends who I talk with all the time, and some who I will never speak with again.
It's a case by case basis for all of us. I'd say you do what works for you, as long as your honest about it. If you told her ahead of time how you would react, then it may hurt, but she can't say she wasn't told.

Breakups suck.. thats just a fact of life..



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Posted on Tue, Apr 18, 2006 12:16

If it is over...it is over. My heart is not a revolving door...nor for that matter is any other part of my anatomy. However, my relationships end on friendly terms. We did once care about each other after all.



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Posted on Tue, Apr 18, 2006 07:52

Marzen759 write:
OK. These are my feelings on a subject. It has happened but a while ago. Not right or wrong-just your opinion.
I told someone that before I met them I really didn't care who or what they did. That was the past and I had no control or input over that. I did say that if I had a relationship with someone and we parted that I would not want to see, contact have sex or talk with them again. I just said that since I really cared for her I just couldn't stand the possibility of seeing her with someone else. It would hurt even though we were not together. She doesn't get the part that I could just drop her and never want her. She thinks that it isn't fair to the other person. I explained that if you don't want to be with me now then why would I want to be with you later. I know its childish but when I break up in a relationship I just don't want to think of that person being with someone else. Or, at least, not for a length of time. She even stated that what if after a time she wanted to come back? I said no. When you leave that's it. Am I being to childish?

Hey bob ,,,,Not childish at all I don't think! If you have no ties with her and your not going to be together then having no contact is a good thing i think.
I am still looking for a good man ...know any?



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Posted on Tue, Apr 18, 2006 06:46

i don't know if you are right, wrong, childish or what but i am the same way.



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