It just occurred to me today when a friend and I were talking that I don't have the conifedence I really though I had .She told me i didnt have any compassion or words to help out when they are needed .I thought wow , Really?
Now I thought for a second and then realized I ,in fact, wasnt confident in all in my self because I couldnt be the best possible friend to her or anyone with out compassion.Thats why it brings me back to the confidence thing because I don't like to say anything to someone or give them advice at bad times in there life and have it backfire on me.I don't want to make there lifes worse...I was always told growing up that I would amount to nothing .I have overcome that and feel very good about myself but have a hard time with this issue....so I know all you guys and gals here have a great deal of advice and would really like some of it now please.Or just yer thoughts!
Weenie write: Kitten, you are wrong about yourself babe, you do have compassion, you are a kind woman, your a good woman, don't ever forget that. I have to ask though, this friend, that has mentioned this to you, does she always have problems, always needs you to help her trough something? I don't ask to be mean or ugly. I am what they call a caretaker, I had months and months of therapy to teach me when to draw the line, you can only do so much for someone, you have to know where to draw the line. If you don't, this person will take every ounce of energy you have trying to fix them. Especially if they make the same wrong decisions over and over again. Maybe you need to consider what your friend really needs from you. hugs sis
Msbikerkitty write: It just occurred to me today when a friend and I were talking that I don't have the conifedence I really though I had .She told me i didnt have any compassion or words to help out when they are needed .I thought wow , Really? Now I thought for a second and then realized I ,in fact, wasnt confident in all in my self because I couldnt be the best possible friend to her or anyone with out compassion.Thats why it brings me back to the confidence thing because I don't like to say anything to someone or give them advice at bad times in there life and have it backfire on me.I don't want to make there lifes worse...I was always told growing up that I would amount to nothing .I have overcome that and feel very good about myself but have a hard time with this issue....so I know all you guys and gals here have a great deal of advice and would really like some of it now please.Or just yer thoughts!
Dont you ever say that again! I know better. You were one of the 1st for me when I needed it. You heard the music, you danced. We all do. Just because we, once in a while, have to sit one out, doesnt mean we dont know how yo dance to it anymore. Now throw that cr*ap out the window and dance!!
Ok i am dancing my souls out !!!!Thanks very much for your words andy you are very kind!
Thanks jer too you are a sweetheart I just know it.I am better now , just had a setback , which I have vounced out of ....thanks again to everyone!!!
Oh andy like yer new name...^^^^
Msbikerkitty write: It just occurred to me today when a friend and I were talking that I don't have the conifedence I really though I had .She told me i didnt have any compassion or words to help out when they are needed .I thought wow , Really? Now I thought for a second and then realized I ,in fact, wasnt confident in all in my self because I couldnt be the best possible friend to her or anyone with out compassion.Thats why it brings me back to the confidence thing because I don't like to say anything to someone or give them advice at bad times in there life and have it backfire on me.I don't want to make there lifes worse...I was always told growing up that I would amount to nothing .I have overcome that and feel very good about myself but have a hard time with this issue....so I know all you guys and gals here have a great deal of advice and would really like some of it now please.Or just yer thoughts!
Dont you ever say that again!
I know better. You were one of the 1st for me when I needed it.
You heard the music, you danced. We all do.
Just because we, once in a while, have to sit one out, doesnt mean we dont know how yo dance to it anymore.
Now throw that cr*ap out the window and dance!!
I only know you from your posts and the brief visit when I stopped by Char's in Canton during the summer. But based on what I do know, I have to disagree with you. I always see your posts, you're open and to the point, and in regards to compassion, everytime someone writes a post about needing help, a prayer, etc... You're one of the first to reply. In case you forgot, you actually introduced yourself to me at Chars. Keep being yourself, I don't see anything wrong with the way you present yourself. BTW..*uck'em if anyone doesnt like the way you present yourself.
Kitty my counter Pusskateer!! you kick a*ss g/f....and don't let anyone tell you any less......you have a big heart and you listen ...don't change what ain't broken! now this squirrel have to fly!!!!
thank you smile I can't wait to meet you tooo! I feel alot better just hearing some words from everyone here .Thanks so much everyone I was having one of those days and I feel betta now !!
and you know what I think she takes up too much of my energy so I am rethinking our friendship.
Hey Kitten, Please don't ever doubt for one moment that you aren't a confident woman. I think you are a very confident, caring, loving, loyal, compassionate, funny, witty, beautiful woman...both inside & out my friend, & I look forward to the day that we meet & I will be honored to meet you!
I know where you're coming from though when you start doubting your confidence. All it takes is that one person to just say something to you & your confidence level just goes out the window. What hurts is when it's coming from someone close to you.
Stay positive & know that you are much loved here & have many friends who care about you, Kitten!
Aww, your inner and outer beauty shows here in your words. We can't always have the right answers for everyone who needs them. Sometimes we give the right answers and it's still not what they want to hear. Don't doubt yourself sweetie.
MsKitty...I backup what Harleygirls sez...I don't know your personlly, but "would" I like to meet ya!? Dayum right! I've had a few people (that I thought were frens, even some fam) talk negative to mean, too. Come to find out it's THEIR own lack of confidence, low self esteem & just plain old jealousy! Needless, to say...those peeps aren't on my Christmas card list! Lol hey, they started it...I ended it. Oh, I'll be pleasant to them, but keep things VERY short with them. My fave saying is.."You're the Best...hey, don't forget...You're the Best! Just tell them to talk to Me...I'll always say...You're the Best!" hope to meet You one day!
Kitten you have confidence
written all over you....and
compasion...well just the fact
that your feeling bad about
the situtation and have asked
for help shows your compassion
for others.....in a big way..
Don't let old tapes play g/f
and doubt yourself you are every
thing you think you are and more
I agree with you on the advice part
it can have a way of biting you in
the azz....I like to offer what has
worked for me in the past and they
can take what they need and leave
the rest........you know the old
saying.....misery loves company....
well it sounds like your friend
achieved her goal....she made you as
miserable as she was feeling....your
a wonderfull person and don't forget
it....ever....you can't fix anyone
that's up to them.....Fox.......
Bigbear2000 write: LadyTx, You do have friends. Look around you, see those smilin faces? That's us. : )
yep that be us....lady thanks for viewing me this way.You know we just don't know what others are thinking and normally I don't give a chit unless thay r my friend.I think her being honest is a good thing too .I always speak my mind and my freinds know this and they know i want them to be honest with me know matter what!!I think she does look to me for too much advice , She see's that I am happy and she wants that.But see I think she should be happy too she has alot going for her.So I think we see ourselves differently then others do that whya I love these damn threads.. thanks again lady. Jules , char, weenie and seeme and carrie you girls rock!!!!papa big kiss for you!
spadoman write: First of all, in my opinion, it takes a lot of class and self confidence to say and ask the very things you write about. All the answers are right in front of you. No need to look back. The past has passed and you can't change it, so, do it how it needs to be done the next time around. Stand up tall and always be proud of who you are. I use "The Popeye Principle" That is, as Popeye sats: "I yam whats I yam and dats all whats I yam"
I don't look back ....thats cute I yam what I yam...i know who I am but just had a lil set back i guess.I am comfy in my own skin and sleep very good at night so I do accept myself fully.thanks spadoman.....
I can't wait to meet you! If this is how you really are, you've had me fooled. You have always struck me as being one hell of a confident woman.
And as far as I'm concerned, you always know what to say and just when to say it. Anytime some of these threads start getting "too deep", you crack me up with a witty one-liner!
If I had to bet, I would say you are probably one of those great girlfriends that always keeps the mood light and smiles flowing. We all need that friend that we can count on to make us smile when we're at our lowest.
What you may want to do is take a good look at that so-called friend of yours. Are they "really" a friend? A true friend takes you as your are. They don't put words in your mouth and they certainly don't judge you.
You're pretty damn ok in my book.
Now get back to spitting out those witty comments that make us laugh!!
Compassion to me was a hard time in coming for me.. Mostly cause I thought compassion was having to express it with the correct words... Another thing was to protect myself also, from others I think..? not quite sure on that part. I was soo hung up on this that I was unwilling to give anything of myself in support of others.. I compensated through monetary givings and giving of my time in doing good deeds... But lacked what others really wanted in support..
Well, much has changed for me.. It took my mom's passing to really think on my own life and how I want to live it... The fear of showing emotions and of giving an ear and time to others has entered my life... I may fall sometimes, but I try to bounce back and step up..
Im not sure it has to do with confidence in yourself... ?? For me it's more to be just there for someone and lending an ear.... Not so much in the Words,, For most times I lack the words... I bet many have the words but lack the compassion??? Words are Words and can be spewed out by anyone... Like these.... Ive heard many words spoken in my life.. The true words are those shown from the heart and not from the mouth...
U have much confidence in yourself just by your questioning your own compassion for others.. And Compassion is a part of you for the same Reason!!!!... Else you wouldnt have brought this up...
Ms Kitty, when reading your words I truly thought I was reading my words. I too have felt this way. I will listen and then offer something from my life experience as my way of showing support and understanding but would never offer up advise. "Who am I to give advise" I was also accused of not listening or helping in any way. I think that the fact that we listen is support and sometimes all that is needed. "A shoulder to lean on"
Jess: Your words are always full of wisdom, thank you for these words I know they helped me.
Char: You too always have words of wisdom and compassion. I agree, sometimes it is best to hold back.
Kitten: You seem to me to be a very compassionate person. Very confident in the words that you offer in the forums. I wish I had some of your confidence, perhaps I would then have the friends you have. Stay the way you are, you're beautiful!
I really needed to hear these things....thank you mama and papa yer words are very encouraging.I guess I am reflecting. This friend does always need and want my advice but never takes it anyways and I guess thats why I am tired of trying to help her be saved.Weenie I am not being stepped on or taken advantage of by her but I know what you are saying and I think I will just try to limit our friendship from now on.Now she is making me second guess myself and that ain't no good.But at the same time it is makes me become stronger I think.
Babygirl...this is Mama Char speakin' hon...yer just fine. You've always thought you were confident...well yes you are.
As for not saying (giving advice) b/c it may backfire, it is sometimes wise to hold back. The other person often will not understand what you are trying to tell them anyway. Often they take it the wrong way....negatively instead of constructive. Honey that is not a flaw in your character.
My advice to you is to continue on the path you are..which is that you are self-reflecting and always looking to improve your life.
Compassion? You got it out the 'censored'...lmao
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