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james77075
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Posted on Sun, Jan 06, 2008 15:50

>>Real men of the world, stand up, scratch your butt, belch, and yell "ENOUGH!" I hereby announce the start of a new offensive in the culture Wars, the Retrosexual movement. The Code : A Retrosexual man, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE. A Retrosexual man opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that fit that term only because they are female. A Retrosexual DEALS with IT, be it a flat tire, break-in into your home, or a natura l disaster, you DEAL WITH IT. A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself. A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and drinking, I saluteyou. A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman. Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need an endcap (possibly 2 endcaps if you include shaving goods.) A Retrosexual does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he's 30 years old. A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need be. This falls under the "Dealing with IT" portion of The Code. A Retrosexual watches no TV show with "Queer" in the title. A Retrosexual does not let neighbors screw up rooms in his house on national TV. A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness fo r women. Some is inevitable, but major reinvention of yourself will only lead to you becoming a froo-froo little puss, and in the long run, she ain't worth it. A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak treechipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city, favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you. A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to conceal himself from prey. A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie -- and ONLY a Windsor knot. A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about getting. A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't hammer a nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you can -- or be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you be. A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are riddled with fear, guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL WITH IT. Plus it's just plain fun to shoot. Crying. There are very few reason that a Retrosexaul may cry, and none of them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas. Sports teams are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of release is swearing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a Retrosexual can cry include (but are not limited to) death of a loved one, death of a pet (fish do NOT count as pets in this case), loss of a majo r body part. When a Retrosexual is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train, and a pregnant woman, heck, any woman gets on, that retrosexual stands up and offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other so-called men still in their seats with a disgusted "you punks" look on his face. A Retrosexual knows how to say the Pledge properly, and with the correct emphasis and pronunciation. He also knows the words to the Star Spangled Banner A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not understand, but that are essential to his manliness, in that they offset the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when married/engaged or in a serious healthy relationship - i.e., hunting, boxing, shot putting, shooting, cigars, car maintenance. A Retrosexual knows how to sharpen his own knives and kitchen utensils. A Retrosexual man can drive in snow (hell, a bli zzard) without sliding all over or driving under 20mph, without anxiety, and without high-centering his ride in a snow bank. A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he wants. Wherever it lands is where he **** well wanted it to land. A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but any elderly person or person in military dress (except 2nd Lt's) NOTE: The person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual man will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their country. A Retrosexual man doesn't need a contract -- a handshake is good enough. He will always stand by his word even if circumstances change or the other person deceived him. A Retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT !


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Posted on Fri, Jan 11, 2008 06:34

Re: TreasureTheHobo write: Re: OHHHHHHHH sure, I believe that one!!! Knowing you ya bought every one they had in stock and are hording them! Next we'll see you selling them at the Blessing or next rodeo. Dang SC, just send me one! Ok, I'll take a medium. You can keep the penis pump. HDsweetcheeks write: OHH XL!! Sorry but they were all out of XL, only had XS left so I got ya a penis pump too!! : ) Re: TreasureTheHobo write: Re: Pick up a size extra large, tall, dark, handsome for me. Thanks SC. Maybe 2 in case one is defective or wears out. HDsweetcheeks write: Im going to Retorsexuals 'r us..maybe we can get a whole gaggle of them!

OK fine I will send you one..But if Demo measures up hes mine!!


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TreasureTheHobo
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Posted on Thu, Jan 10, 2008 09:19

Re: OHHHHHHHH sure, I believe that one!!! Knowing you ya bought every one they had in stock and are hording them! Next we'll see you selling them at the Blessing or next rodeo. Dang SC, just send me one! Ok, I'll take a medium. You can keep the penis pump. HDsweetcheeks write: OHH XL!! Sorry but they were all out of XL, only had XS left so I got ya a penis pump too!! : ) Re: TreasureTheHobo write: Re: Pick up a size extra large, tall, dark, handsome for me. Thanks SC. Maybe 2 in case one is defective or wears out. HDsweetcheeks write: Im going to Retorsexuals 'r us..maybe we can get a whole gaggle of them!



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Posted on Thu, Jan 10, 2008 06:26

Re: demoman write: They dont come in "gaggles". ! hell thats just not right. There all sold separately Re: HDsweetcheeks write: Im going to Retorsexuals 'r us..maybe we can get a whole gaggle of them!

Demo! If us woman want a gaggle we will get a gaggle..now get over here and lets measure you up!


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Junie2006
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Posted on Thu, Jan 10, 2008 04:07

"A Retrosexual man, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE" Sorry, but because of the way things unfortunately are. i do not allow a man to pay for everything until the 3rd date. I like many women have been attacked becasue the man thinks he has bought you by buying you a drink. I but tit for tat. Until I know he is OK. I knew I was in love when I let a first date buy me three drinks (cheap ones) in a row. I don't let a man buy me anything until I know he is a man I would like to buy me things. Immediately putting him in the "male" postion. I know what it is. My father used to always tell us "He had Paid for Us and owned us" and could do anything he wanted. Also as he didn't provide. I provided for myself from quite a young age. The concept of a man providing supporting or looking after me just doesn't occur in my head. A man earns the right to be a man in my life. Other than that I consider him an equal human being. Until he proves otherwise. junie


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Junie2006
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Posted on Thu, Jan 10, 2008 03:44

Re: Heretic write: I would like to add one to this.....The retrosexual man will remove his hat when invited into someone's home

What? Just his hat? What about the rest of his clothes. Don't stop there? Do men still wear hats? Does that include Do-rags? Lets admit the worse thing is when the modern man says "Honey, I want to talk about our relationship and where its going?" junie


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Heretic
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Posted on Wed, Jan 09, 2008 20:47

I would like to add one to this.....The retrosexual man will remove his hat when invited into someone's home


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demoman
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Posted on Wed, Jan 09, 2008 18:23

Re: HDsweetcheeks write: Im going to Retorsexuals 'r us..maybe we can get a whole gaggle of them!

They dont come in "gaggles". ! hell thats just not right. There all sold separately


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milbrat63
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Posted on Wed, Jan 09, 2008 09:40

"Deal With It". Makes me grin to think of all the times my Dad said that to me, and I said it to my son. Good blog.


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Posted on Wed, Jan 09, 2008 07:05

Re: TreasureTheHobo write: Re: Pick up a size extra large, tall, dark, handsome for me. Thanks SC. Maybe 2 in case one is defective or wears out. HDsweetcheeks write: Im going to Retorsexuals 'r us..maybe we can get a whole gaggle of them!

OHH XL!! Sorry but they were all out of XL, only had XS left so I got ya a penis pump too!! : )


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TreasureTheHobo
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Posted on Tue, Jan 08, 2008 17:53

Re: Pick up a size extra large, tall, dark, handsome for me. Thanks SC. Maybe 2 in case one is defective or wears out. HDsweetcheeks write: Im going to Retorsexuals 'r us..maybe we can get a whole gaggle of them!



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Posted on Tue, Jan 08, 2008 12:25

Im going to Retorsexuals 'r us..maybe we can get a whole gaggle of them!


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Junie2006
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Posted on Tue, Jan 08, 2008 08:17

Re: Blait write: Re:So when does this boot camp kick off Junie? I know me & a couple others who will be there with bells on...lol Junie2006 write: THEY DO WHAT THEY PLEASE!!! That's not in the rule book. Have to have a word with you and some re-training. Letting the side down. lol No No No No No. My mum told me that you have to let the man "think" he is the one in control. Let him "think" the idea is his. Need to get you to female retraining bootcamp All men are equal when I say they are equal. Til then they can pretend that they are. Great post though. I suppose at our age we remember when men were men and what was expected of them. They were expected to be the strong stability of community home and family. Don't like muscle bound thug heads but I don't think the world supports men being men any more. If there is one thing I hate it is men "bitching" like women. Always like to think that is one area where the man is better than us. Only joking. junie Re: Blait write: Re: Junie.."has Blait allowed"?? What are you smoking, woman? You know you can't allow a man diddly squat, they do whatever the hell they please...lol Junie2006 write: WOW!!IMPRESSED AS WELL. Has Blait allowed you to write this and is this a better alternative to the "Real Biker" code. I would not like to go back to somethings, but I would like to go back to when men where men and we all looked to up to what a real man should be. But James I still want my dress back but you can wear the frilley knickers til Thursday when I expect them back washed and ironed and no skid marks. lol About time men reclaimed the ground of their self respect but don't lose the essential things what women have gained. junie

First we have to get you some boots. junie

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lorraine2000
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Posted on Mon, Jan 07, 2008 20:16

WOW, great blog. I am laughing, remembering, happy, and sad all at the same time.


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TreasureTheHobo
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Posted on Mon, Jan 07, 2008 18:01

Re: Amen. WindJunkie write: Kinda reminds me of that Old saying "When Men were Men and Women were Damn Proud of it"



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WindJunkie
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Posted on Mon, Jan 07, 2008 12:56

Kinda reminds me of that Old saying "When Men were Men and Women were Damn Proud of it"


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prettyldy
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Posted on Mon, Jan 07, 2008 08:04

Ummmm...yeah...where do I get one of these? Ride easy.....

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Junie2006
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Posted on Mon, Jan 07, 2008 01:30

Re: Blait write: Re: Junie.."has Blait allowed"?? What are you smoking, woman? You know you can't allow a man diddly squat, they do whatever the hell they please...lol Junie2006 write: WOW!!IMPRESSED AS WELL. Has Blait allowed you to write this and is this a better alternative to the "Real Biker" code. I would not like to go back to somethings, but I would like to go back to when men where men and we all looked to up to what a real man should be. But James I still want my dress back but you can wear the frilley knickers til Thursday when I expect them back washed and ironed and no skid marks. lol About time men reclaimed the ground of their self respect but don't lose the essential things what women have gained. junie

THEY DO WHAT THEY PLEASE!!! That's not in the rule book. Have to have a word with you and some re-training. Letting the side down. lol No No No No No. My mum told me that you have to let the man "think" he is the one in control. Let him "think" the idea is his. Need to get you to female retraining bootcamp All men are equal when I say they are equal. Til then they can pretend that they are. Great post though. I suppose at our age we remember when men were men and what was expected of them. They were expected to be the strong stability of community home and family. Don't like muscle bound thug heads but I don't think the world supports men being men any more. If there is one thing I hate it is men "bitching" like women. Always like to think that is one area where the man is better than us. Only joking. junie


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cruisineasy1
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Posted on Sun, Jan 06, 2008 23:53

So was there a description of the retrosexual female at the same place where you found this? That would be interesting reading to.


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TreasureTheHobo
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Posted on Sun, Jan 06, 2008 20:29

Re: Now wait a second, correct me if I'm wrong (which I know you will all jump to do!)..if Blait "allows" James...does that not take away his Retrosexual status?? Blait write: Re: Junie.."has Blait allowed"?? What are you smoking, woman? You know you can't allow a man diddly squat, they do whatever the hell they please...lol Junie2006 write: WOW!!IMPRESSED AS WELL. Has Blait allowed you to write this and is this a better alternative to the "Real Biker" code. I would not like to go back to somethings, but I would like to go back to when men where men and we all looked to up to what a real man should be. But James I still want my dress back but you can wear the frilley knickers til Thursday when I expect them back washed and ironed and no skid marks. lol About time men reclaimed the ground of their self respect but don't lose the essential things what women have gained. junie



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