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brc718
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Posted on Wed, Dec 19, 2007 02:51

I have a need to ask this question i am really interested in what we think of the so called elusive chemistry. Do you think its instant or does true chemistry develop over time?


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BranwenCarryl
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Posted on Thu, Dec 20, 2007 10:10

OK can't handle it anymore I have to respond as well.... I met LK almost 3 yrs ago now and although we've not been an item that stupid 'chemistry' word was thrown in my face after '4 months' of seeing each other. There were rules we each agreed upon before we even started anything because he thought he was getting oder's overseas. OK I fully understood the reasoning behind them. They never materlized and at that point he threw the chemistry word at me and said there was none. WHOA, WHO THE HELL CHANGED THE RULES MID GAME HERE????? Ummm had I known they'd been changed, I would have changed my whole outlook, my actions and my words. He NEVER has seen the REAL, TRUE ME. However, I also replied (in cyncical kind) yep none here either Babe!.....liar, liar, panties on FIRE by gawd....LMAO LMAO But I said, Hey ok no biggie...NOW fast forward to present time...we still see each other off an on and he calls every now and then and we do things together...we have long talks, rides go out to eat, deep discussions. I've helped him install his dishwasher for goodness sake, I've helped him change my brakes and slightly assisted a bit of work on his vehicle....soooo uuummm WHY if there IS NO chemistry, does he still insist on keeping in 'close' contact with me and sharing his life....????? hhhmmmmm He never gave anything else a chance to even SEE, FEEL, KNOW if there was (or hey there still might be hope)any 'real' chemistry to work with. And no he's not dated anyone else....go figure. I think, no I know there is something there but I'm not going to just sit an wait on it either. I keep my eye's open, my heart open and I meet new people, I go off with others..if one comes along and blows ma socks off or blows out ma flip flops, I'M GONE in a heartbeat.....When I met my late husband in '73, WE KNEW!!!!! Its just that simple, we knew it. It was 'in fact' love at first sight. We didn't even date a full 6 mths, he was in VA with his family for a time and the moment he came back to Jax, we married and that was that!!! I just want to share my love, my compassion, my being with another. No one takes the damned time anymore because of chemistry. I have 9 full years of giving stored up here. COME ON NOW.... Sorry maybe a bit to brash here at the last but it 'really, really pisses me off' that all most want to do out there is PLAY GAMES with everyone else's heart. NOT RIGHT, and SO NOT FAIR. If only each one would take a bit of time. Yes we are mature, yes there might not be a lot of time for some of us, but take it a day at a time and seeeeeeee....... Sorry....**SIGH** just had to vent and maybe I rambled on to much an too far...sorry... P.S. I HATE THAT STUPID WORD


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Junie2006
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Posted on Thu, Dec 20, 2007 09:41

I think there can be an immediate "explosive" chemistry and you aer both really "HOT" for each other and can have the wildest night. But find there is nothing else there once it has blown. Or you can both be in a place where both your chemistry is wired on high and you just fuse together for that one time. There can be a slow burning chemistry where you like the person, get on with them have a slow build up to realise you love each other and the sexual chemistry is really close and just builds as you know each other. Some chemistry is just for that time and that minute then it is gone and you cannot regenerate it. But also when you meet you may already have been affected by the day or other things going on or as a female I am hotter at some parts of the month than others. I have felt Hot with my bf then at other times I have felt cold and bored and then at other time hot again. There has to be something else there. You have to actually like the person on top. Can't go off feelings. There is definitley a "No Chemistry" at all feeling and no matter how the guy feels it and trys to get you into a relationship its not happening. Sometimes they are pressing all the right buttons for you but you are not pressing all the right buttons for her. May come back to you when she is in the right mood again. junie


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brc718
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Posted on Thu, Dec 20, 2007 02:12

I have to agree that it develops over time. Reason i asked this question is i meet this great lady we when out and had an amazing first date i mean connecting on all levels. Neither one of us could wait to see the other again. We ended up seeing each other again and well the second date wasn't anything like the the first. Still i really felt a solid connection to this amazing lady. Well turns out she hits me with the chemistry thing how its not there for her. So i felt like asking the community the question on chemistry. Now we are still kinda talking but doubt it will go anywhere to bad we really had hit it off. Thanks for your comments and thoughts.


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irishpatti
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Posted on Wed, Dec 19, 2007 17:18

I think over a period of time.


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TreasureTheHobo
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Posted on Wed, Dec 19, 2007 10:39

I am waiting on my new order of litmus paper as we speak. Who knows?? I have known people who met and married the next month and were happy for 50 years. I have known people who don't realize they have it until years later. It's a crapshoot. I myself think it takes more than "chemistry". It takes time, understanding, tolerance, willingness, hope, love, dedication. I do know when it is "chemistry" for me it is usually lust masking itself and I end up crying my heart out, which really sucks. Hey, did we initiate you yet??? Where's that initiation log book?


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Posted on Wed, Dec 19, 2007 10:26

needs to be developed...I think you can have a physical chemisty right away but an emotional one..needs to take time and figure out who the person really is and who you are when your with them.


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Posted on Wed, Dec 19, 2007 04:35

Elusive is difficult to find,catch,understand,define,or identify. The chemistry element should be formulated over a period of time to develop the right composition. In both cases,it is apparent that time is a factor. Then,there is spontaneous combustion which is instantaneous and without thought,highly flammable and explosive at first,and ends in disaster. I chose over a period of time.


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motorpsych0bich
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Posted on Wed, Dec 19, 2007 04:34

With Bunsen Burner in one and flame in the other hand, id still have to say that no matter how hard anyone tries, what happens naturally is what usually lasts... i think people try too hard, and once u reach that stage of always having to be conscious of every move and or action, it becomes an actual experiment.. sometimes forcing things to develop is a way of watching them happen in their natural way.. Regardless of how it develops over time, its the key ingredients from the beginning that have their impact over time in the end.. im such a dork! lol


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