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HDCouple4U2NV
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Posted on Thu, Oct 04, 2007 18:35

Ok as most of you know I do private duty nursing and I care for elderly folks in their home. I have just one question to ask. If your parent was getting older loosing their memory and starting to do strange things and the nurse caring for that parent told you there were meds that would help with this transition..would you not do all you could to help you parent take this transition with ease? Or because the meds are expensive and it would cut into your cut after your parent passes you hold off? So which way would you choose? And second part is why as folks get older do they want to bathe and put the same dirty clothes on? Like there are thousands of dollars of clothes in the closet but they choose the same dirty outfit and DO NOT want it washed? What gives there? I have been around elderly folks for most of my adult life and have yet to figure that one out yet?


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HDCouple4U2NV
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Posted on Sat, Dec 01, 2007 15:07

Re: See as a nurse I knew this was the route the ladies family needed to go and these are the drugs I suggested. After over 20 yrs I think I know what I am doing. I was justa sking whay a family would not want this for their loved one! NightNurse write: In my experience and observations, the elderly hate to be cold,and also of slipping in a tub/shower,thusly,they avoid this task. As for the clothing, their short term memory sometimes becomes altered, and they forget that the clothing has already been worn, or else it is too confusing to put an outfit together to wear. Sometimes it's because they are just set in their ways, As for medications, there are about 5 FDA approved medications to treat Alzheimers Disease that Medicare approves under it's prescription plan. Three of them, to my knowledge are, Aricept, which has been around awhile, followed by Cognex and Namenda.



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HDCouple4U2NV
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Posted on Thu, Nov 01, 2007 15:29

Re:Oh Hossy that is great that you all take care of him we need more folks like you and your wife. I hope some family adopts me...my kids well I wonder if they can really take care of my dog let alone me. LOL hossv8 write: Yes...my wife adopted a security guard who worked with us, even after he propositioned her at work. For that she needs a sainthood. He had no family and now is 85. We take care of him and put him in the same nursing home his wife died out of..that was his choice. We buy him clothes, take him out, monitor his care, pay his bills, do his paperwork. He wears the same old ratty clothes. She has to chide him to put on the clean new clothes...its about comfort and familiarity and roteness. I'm 48 and she has to do the same for me. I like my old clothes. I have a polo shirt that is 16 years old, she hates and I love it because she hates it, but thats not the only reason...I grab it and stick it on as I've done that for so long. So I understand him and the roteness you go through when dressing as a guy that dont look at himself in the mirror too much. What you see is what you get!



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Posted on Thu, Nov 01, 2007 07:54

Yes...my wife adopted a security guard who worked with us, even after he propositioned her at work. For that she needs a sainthood. He had no family and now is 85. We take care of him and put him in the same nursing home his wife died out of..that was his choice. We buy him clothes, take him out, monitor his care, pay his bills, do his paperwork. He wears the same old ratty clothes. She has to chide him to put on the clean new clothes...its about comfort and familiarity and roteness. I'm 48 and she has to do the same for me. I like my old clothes. I have a polo shirt that is 16 years old, she hates and I love it because she hates it, but thats not the only reason...I grab it and stick it on as I've done that for so long. So I understand him and the roteness you go through when dressing as a guy that dont look at himself in the mirror too much. What you see is what you get!


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HDCouple4U2NV
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Posted on Thu, Nov 01, 2007 07:42

Re:Oh I never give up. Thats abad thing sometimes. LOL Junie2006 write: Well Done for persevering. You managed to win through. Ok you slipped and fell and got discouraged for a while but you got right back up and got on the ball again. Glad its starting to work out. Junie Re: HDCouple4U2NV write: Finally after many conversations got the family to talk to the doctor and I think we are in a better place right now took lots of continious baggering from me but it payed off. See I am persistant and will keep on until you see things my way if I feel I am right...the stubburn Leo. LOL But my patient is my main concern and I will do what ever I have to to make her life better. See that is my job and I do it with all the pride in the world.



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Junie2006
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Posted on Wed, Oct 31, 2007 15:15

Re: HDCouple4U2NV write: Finally after many conversations got the family to talk to the doctor and I think we are in a better place right now took lots of continious baggering from me but it payed off. See I am persistant and will keep on until you see things my way if I feel I am right...the stubburn Leo. LOL But my patient is my main concern and I will do what ever I have to to make her life better. See that is my job and I do it with all the pride in the world.

Well Done for persevering. You managed to win through. Ok you slipped and fell and got discouraged for a while but you got right back up and got on the ball again. Glad its starting to work out. Junie


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HDCouple4U2NV
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Posted on Wed, Oct 31, 2007 14:58

Finally after many conversations got the family to talk to the doctor and I think we are in a better place right now took lots of continious baggering from me but it payed off. See I am persistant and will keep on until you see things my way if I feel I am right...the stubburn Leo. LOL But my patient is my main concern and I will do what ever I have to to make her life better. See that is my job and I do it with all the pride in the world.


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HDCouple4U2NV
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Posted on Fri, Oct 19, 2007 06:44

Some folks seem to think that my job is affecting my other life (cause there is a difference). But it does not everyone has good and bad days reguardless of your job. But I do try no to let my work drag home with me and I (and Tom) think I do a darn good job of it. It has been a long time since I have had the chance to do something for mr just for me...and I think this next week will be it. I'm going to take a trip just me no one else I seem to be a lonner latley, I try so hard but just can not seem to please anyone. Tom says I give so much of me to my friends and they throw it back in my face, so this week I am going to disapear no pleaseing anyone but me. So when you come to my house and your setting on the floor remmeber I spent that couch money on ME! Tom says we don't need no stinking couch! He needs a healthy wife and I need to get away from the people that drain me dry. Dirt is now dust!


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HDCouple4U2NV
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Posted on Thu, Oct 18, 2007 19:43


Re:I agree Junie2006 write: Re: HDCouple4U2NV write: You are so right Junie...Enough has always been enough for me...Wish everyone thought like us!
Also believe that we should "cover" each other in prayer and carry each other's burdens to Him. Difficult praying for your own problems as too close and fear and doubt can wear you down. Had a "dream" where there was a pool of living water and lambs came to it from everywhere, gambling down to the edges in sheer delight and lapping and drinking the goodness into them. Then suddenly out from no where wolves and jackles and leopards lept upon them from the back and began to tear and devour them. I woke sweating and wondering. Later I got the interpretation. That we need to cover each other's backs and protect from the adversities, temptations and dangers that can come in and take away what we have been given. Went to the church to advise them to look after and pray for new believers. They told me believers were on their own and if they slipped away it was their problem and fault. I did argue but got excommunicated and evicted again. Go straight to hell do not pass go do not collect 200 pounds. Me and a friend have a theory. If things are going wrong and everthing is tits up we ask "You haven't been praying have you?" Coincidence things happen with prayer but often we get hit first when we start. PS As I said earlier this year I was diagnosed with arthritis in hips, knees, ankles and feet. Pure pain all the time, limited movement and especially at night. Well one night I'd had enough so put my hands on my joints and did a basic rebuke thing. Guess what? All arthritis gone and no pain. In fact did the Chubby checher "twist" in the kitchen the other day. So that's my witness. I am not perfect but God is TRUE. Keep going and don't lose the faith He will be with you. But try not to be irritated by other...


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Junie2006
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Posted on Thu, Oct 18, 2007 13:06

Re: HDCouple4U2NV write: You are so right Junie...Enough has always been enough for me...Wish everyone thought like us!

Also believe that we should "cover" each other in prayer and carry each other's burdens to Him. Difficult praying for your own problems as too close and fear and doubt can wear you down. Had a "dream" where there was a pool of living water and lambs came to it from everywhere, gambling down to the edges in sheer delight and lapping and drinking the goodness into them. Then suddenly out from no where wolves and jackles and leopards lept upon them from the back and began to tear and devour them. I woke sweating and wondering. Later I got the interpretation. That we need to cover each other's backs and protect from the adversities, temptations and dangers that can come in and take away what we have been given. Went to the church to advise them to look after and pray for new believers. They told me believers were on their own and if they slipped away it was their problem and fault. I did argue but got excommunicated and evicted again. Go straight to hell do not pass go do not collect 200 pounds. Me and a friend have a theory. If things are going wrong and everthing is tits up we ask "You haven't been praying have you?" Coincidence things happen with prayer but often we get hit first when we start. PS As I said earlier this year I was diagnosed with arthritis in hips, knees, ankles and feet. Pure pain all the time, limited movement and especially at night. Well one night I'd had enough so put my hands on my joints and did a basic rebuke thing. Guess what? All arthritis gone and no pain. In fact did the Chubby checher "twist" in the kitchen the other day. So that's my witness. I am not perfect but God is TRUE. Keep going and don't lose the faith He will be with you. But try not to be irritated by others, especially in the little things. junie


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HDCouple4U2NV
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Posted on Thu, Oct 18, 2007 12:18

You are so right Junie...Enough has always been enough for me...Wish everyone thought like us!


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Junie2006
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Posted on Wed, Oct 17, 2007 15:08

Re: HDCouple4U2NV write: So true Junie I figure if I got it and someone else needs it I'll gladly give it no matter what iit is if their need if true. My father used to tell me I would die broke and alone with nothing and I told him I will never change my ways dad, if I can help someone I will besides I never saw a u-haul following a hurst! My father loved his toys and he thought he who dies with the most toys wins...he found God in his last few years on eartha nd gave most of what he had to his church I was so proud of him my brothers were mad as hell, made me chuckle....

Got a "word" once when I was worrying about finances and the prosperity religion. It said "You'll never be rich and you'll never be poor." Which kind of summed it up. I'll always have just enough. and as someone once said "Just enough is Plenty" PS My money comew thtrough that my employer owed and it was double what I had calculated, so thanks for your prayers. Sometimes when people's faith is low I get them to mentally create a treasure room or jewellery box in their head where they can save and keep the blessings and treasures they have had. So when you are low you go and look at your jewellery in your jewellery box and that builds up your faith and positive thinking again. junie


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HDCouple4U2NV
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Posted on Wed, Oct 17, 2007 14:57

I wrote this blog 2 weeks ago and I want to thank all of you that make my working weeks go by quicker...some folks are just too busy with their busy lives to brighten my day...Sherr, Hank, and Vickey thanks for your continued support soon I will be moving on to bigger and better things....But in 2 weeks I get to go to my first Rally since Daytona! Then the next week Ohio! Man the reward is in sight...Thanks Folks I Love Ya All!


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HDCouple4U2NV
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Posted on Mon, Oct 08, 2007 06:35

So true Junie I figure if I got it and someone else needs it I'll gladly give it no matter what iit is if their need if true. My father used to tell me I would die broke and alone with nothing and I told him I will never change my ways dad, if I can help someone I will besides I never saw a u-haul following a hurst! My father loved his toys and he thought he who dies with the most toys wins...he found God in his last few years on eartha nd gave most of what he had to his church I was so proud of him my brothers were mad as hell, made me chuckle....


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Junie2006
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Posted on Sun, Oct 07, 2007 11:08

PS Hasn't it always been so. At His death, only two people stayed beside his mother. And while He died they mocked Him and stole and quarreled and gambled for His robes. When He asked for water, they gave Him vinegar. The truths remain the same and so does human nature. But lay not up for yourselves treasures of this world, neither gold or silver or mamon. Things can rot and turn to dust which robbers can rob and fire can destroy. But lay up for yourself those treasures which will ever last and cannot be destroyed or corrupted. The Treasures and fruit of the Spirit. Love Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-control. And the Greatest of these is LOVE: Love is patient, and love is kind, it is not jealous or prideful love is not rude, it is not selfish, it is not angry, it is not happy with evil, love is not happy with lies, but rejoices in the truth. Love never gives up, love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. Hope that helps replenish your waters. PS Don't forget to forgive or it all gets clogged up again. Junie


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HDCouple4U2NV
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Posted on Sun, Oct 07, 2007 10:37

Re:You are so right I do not do this for the pay, I really do think EVERYONE should have quality life as they always have had. So I do my best to give that...sometimes the family gets in the way. This family hauls things out of here everytime they come to visit. Sad So sad! SouthernCharmz write: Sounds like the family is in denial to me. My family was that way because they couldn't and/or wouldn't accept it. One day they see a strong man and overnight he is in a helpless state. My Mom and I adjusted our lives and kept his daily routines just as usual to the very end. She would go to the Nursing home and shave him, bathe him, brush and floss his teeth and always make sure he had fresh clothes and his favorite cologne on. She would go back at his next meal and he would have the dirty clothes back on. Society seems to put the elderly on the back burner because they are older. You mentioning the lady's car reminded me of when we gave my Dad's car to my Brother since he couldn't drive any longer. He looked for the car every day. One day we ran out to the grocery store and he called a cab to take him to the Dealership. We came home and found a brand new pickup truck in the driveway. To this day we don't know how he bought it without a drivers license. He never got to drive it, but he was happy seeing it sitting there. I got it when he passed and couldn't bring myself to drive it so I gave it to a struggling college student. Not everyone can do the job you do and even though I am sure it is taxing mentally on you, you have a gift. If you didn't get attached to these patients, then you wouldn't love what you do. Take a break when you need it, but I wouldn't walk away from it totally. It is obvious you are not doing it for the paycheck, but because you care enough to want the best for the patients. Sometimes your hands are tied though with the family members and although frustrating, you can't beat yourself up over it either.



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CinnamonGirlOH
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Posted on Sun, Oct 07, 2007 07:29

Re: SouthernCharmz write: Society seems to put the elderly on the back burner because they are older.

I couldn't agree more and it is just heartbreaking. Why does our culture do this? In other cultures, such as Native Americans and oriental cultures, the elderly are revered and well taken care of, no one would think of casting them aside.


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SouthernCharmz
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Posted on Sun, Oct 07, 2007 07:09

Sounds like the family is in denial to me. My family was that way because they couldn't and/or wouldn't accept it. One day they see a strong man and overnight he is in a helpless state. My Mom and I adjusted our lives and kept his daily routines just as usual to the very end. She would go to the Nursing home and shave him, bathe him, brush and floss his teeth and always make sure he had fresh clothes and his favorite cologne on. She would go back at his next meal and he would have the dirty clothes back on. Society seems to put the elderly on the back burner because they are older. You mentioning the lady's car reminded me of when we gave my Dad's car to my Brother since he couldn't drive any longer. He looked for the car every day. One day we ran out to the grocery store and he called a cab to take him to the Dealership. We came home and found a brand new pickup truck in the driveway. To this day we don't know how he bought it without a drivers license. He never got to drive it, but he was happy seeing it sitting there. I got it when he passed and couldn't bring myself to drive it so I gave it to a struggling college student. Not everyone can do the job you do and even though I am sure it is taxing mentally on you, you have a gift. If you didn't get attached to these patients, then you wouldn't love what you do. Take a break when you need it, but I wouldn't walk away from it totally. It is obvious you are not doing it for the paycheck, but because you care enough to want the best for the patients. Sometimes your hands are tied though with the family members and although frustrating, you can't beat yourself up over it either.


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HDCouple4U2NV
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Posted on Sun, Oct 07, 2007 06:33

Re:You hit the nail on the head as usual... Junie2006 write: You are fine. Don't want a cold as stone professional when you are going throught things. Want a human being. If you feel for your patients they think you are going to breakdown. But you can love and care till the end and know when to let go. I'm a grandaughter of a woman who was a strength of her community. Despite poverty had a lot of love and good sense and served the community by seeing them in and seeing them out. When there was no national health service and midwives and when no one could afford a funeral and laid them out themselves. As to the way of human nature God said how it is. But still shocks when you see family acting like vultures and hyeanas when a relative nears death. Even their own mum and dad or siblings. Taking things off the wall and raiding cupboards even when they come round to visit after years of never bothering before. Like jackals. Makes me sick. rob the wedding ring off the finger even while they sleep. And as youknow will put in for nothing which will make the person's life easier or less painful. But try not to be upset. Be there as the love and care in their life and keep passing your cares up to God. Its His to carry. If you do not place your suffering on His Cross it will break you. Yea though you walk through the valley of Death I will be with you. I will comfort you and keep you. And I think if you know Him you will be one who feels peace at a death, not dread or fear and pass their care over to Him. Not everyone can serve and care for someone coming up to death. Its a special kind of service. May learn from some of Mother Teresa's thoughts on the subject. Take care of your soul even though it is weary. junie Re: HDCouple4U2NV write: Oh I do care just wish the family cared as much as me or even half as much! See like my last patient the guy who was 55 dying of kidney failure I just get too close... [/QUOTE



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HDCouple4U2NV
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Posted on Sun, Oct 07, 2007 06:30

Re: I have cared for many patients like your father and see the families had a clue as to the progression...this family does not have and clue and does not want one they are in wonderland. She is a very sweet lady and it is so sad that they could be helping her and the docotor has talked to them about meds but they just do not see it, most of the time they do not go to doctoors appointments it's me and her, or my relieft nurse. At least they care enought to get a nurse. I have cared for my parents and I guess they both died of cancer, my dad had some Dementia, but it was mostly the morphine he was on. The family finally got a dose of it yesterday. She called them worried about selling that darm mersedes of her husbands in the driveway and they sold it 5 months ago. She insisted it was there I held the phone took her to the back door and showed her it was not then I had a talk with her about letting nature take it's course. SouthernCharmz write: I can relate to this blog. I cared for my Dad for 3 years when he had Alzheimers and Dementia. We put him in a Nursing home and each day I would go to visit and couldn't deal with what I was seeing in there, so we took him out and got a Private Nurse after the meds he was on made it to where he lost control of walking and totally dependent on us. His Nurse grew very fond of him and yes, I did feel threatened at first by a stranger doing for him, when I thought it was my job, but I couldn't lift him. He would wear his same clothes as a security thing and even though he couldn't drive, he had to always have his car keys in his pocket. The Dr. told us it was part of the reverting back to his childhood process. I read so many books trying to understand this disease and what to expect as it progressed. The hardest part were the hallucinations and him thinking he was back in the War. I was mad at everyone. The Dr's would over medicate him and the Aricept he was on seem to speed up the disease.



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