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redsunset
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Posted on Sat, Sep 01, 2007 06:36

A line that Teach wrote in Life Interrupted got me to thinking about friends...why my friends are my friends....what ingredients we give each other to create the wonderful recipe of friendship. Who are your best friends and why and what do they bring to the table to complete the meal?


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CinnamonGirlOH
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Posted on Tue, Sep 04, 2007 04:58

You reach out by having compassion and realizing that those who don't have support may initially be skeptical of your motives, but persistence pays off in the end. I volunteer with an organization called Little Brothers Friends of the Elderly. This organization matches volunteers up one on one with elderly folk who have NOBODY in their lives, no family, friends, spouses, etc. Their worlds are often very small, since most exist on very limited incomes and don't get out much. Most have outlived their immediate circle. My first "old friend" was very resistant to our meeting and getting to know one another. Most of my visits were greeted in silence while he listened to baseball games on the radio with headphones on. I still kept coming back and just sitting with him while he ignored me. I knew he had been born in Chicago, so one day I borrowed some old pics of Wrigley Field and some old baseball cards from a guy I know who collects baseball stuff and took them on my visit. Upon seeing my treasures this gents' eyes lit up like they were 21, instead of the 84 year old tired eyes that they were. He started talking about going to the games when he was small, describing how they used to roast the peanuts right there, the smell of the field, etc. We talked for hours and hours and since that day we have become very good friends. I take him to Reds games and other places, and he shares his wisdom with me. I asked him recently why initially he would not talk to me and did not seem to like my visits. His answer "I didn't think that you were really interested in me as a person, nor did I think you would really hear anything I had to say". That last statement speaks volumes about how we treat people, whether they are friends or family, young or old. P.S. Little Brothers Friends of the Elderly is an international organization,and I would be happy to give info to anyone who might have the time and heart to "make an old friend".


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redsunset
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Posted on Tue, Sep 04, 2007 04:32

I am so thankful that those of you who have responded have many people you identify as close friends.....how do we reach out to those people who don't have someone in their life to support, nurture and love them?


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redsunset
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Posted on Mon, Sep 03, 2007 16:51

Being involved in the theater, I have lots of male friends too....I can relate to many of them better than females also...funny how we align ourselves with people....


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TreasureTheHobo
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Posted on Mon, Sep 03, 2007 10:54

All my closest friends are men. All my life it has been that way. Everytime I get a b/f they say, "don't you have any female friends?" My two closest female friends I had have both done the same exact thing, called me sobbing, telling me they were horrible friends to me, how could I ever forgive them, on and on. And then hung up.They did not know each other. I never did find out what the one was talking about. The other I knew, she lived here and did some bad stuff. And lied and tried to cause problems. I forgave her but I cannot be close to her. But my male friends are dear to me, the two men that are ill, that I mentioned in my other blog. DD, Demo, they are very, very good friends to me. My boss Bill. My friend Tom. I guess it came from being the only girl most of the time growing up in my neighborhood. And from hanging out with my dad all the time. I just always had more male friends. They felt comfortable in confiding in me about women, family, etc. I was one of the guys.


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suburbansweetheart
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Posted on Mon, Sep 03, 2007 09:44

Re: Sue I will always think of you as Sassy ..lol Im so sorry for your loss I know yesterday must have been the hardest of days for you. I think it is wonderful for you and Terri to have developed such a close bond as she is a wonderful friend to have in your corner..I look forward to meeting you redsunset write: Guess it's my turn....my best friend is gone....had him for 34 years.....my rock, best friend, lover, confidante...my biggest supporter...my champion and biggest fan....his name was Jim and yesterday would have been his birthday. Next would be Teri....like my twin sister in so many ways....we understand and know instinctly how the other is feeling...many common experiences in life....I can always count on her for a kind word, a smile or laugh when I am down...non judgmental...the voice of reason. Jill....my other best bud....my daughter-in-law....my work out buudy....part of my heart.



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suburbansweetheart
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Posted on Mon, Sep 03, 2007 09:40

Re: Well Nancy I think of you as one of the best people I have met in a long time You care so deeply for so many that you couldn't possibly choose a best.You have the heart of a true biker that goes out of there way for your friends or stranger that might need help for that matter. Your so kind and open to giving that you sometimes get your feelings hurt by the takers but know that there are good people who love you...And I will always consider you a best friend..BFFE..Sher HDCouple4U2NV write: I don't believe in best friends...I hold all my true friends (not the folks I meet on the beaten path that I ride with) my true friends at the same level no one is better than anyone! I have 8 friends and they live all over the country, and only 3 of them are female. But they are equal, because they are my friends.


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suburbansweetheart
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Posted on Mon, Sep 03, 2007 09:31

Re: Thanks Deb I think of you as a great friend with a warm and compasionate view to all that you meet.. You have strength, acomplishments that I admire and I hope to see you soon... I think we need to have a girls night out very soon.. cruisineasy1 write: My best friend of 30+ years is Patty. There through thick an thin, and I for her. Steadfast, loyal, supportive, nurturing and always can be talked into anouther adventure. Paula and Peggy I am also close too. They have been together as couple now for over17 years and still going strong. Paula is bright, witty, and artistic. Peggy deep, empathetic and insightful. They keep me balanced and I them through their rough times. I would also include Dan in my inner circle as well as my son and daughter as they are now adults. Dan is my rock, unflappable calm, quiet and wise and very loving. Jim and Mike are wise, witty, no bullshitters that can make me laugh in my darkest of days and deeply appreciate anything I do for them as thier mutual families of origin also really bite. They count me as thier sister. From this site, Sher, I think highly of for her sense of adventure and sunny outlook. She I believe is an unsinkable Mollie Brown type. Sassy for her wisdom and ability to be so open and honest and at ease with herself and others, as well as her very kind and caring nature. Terri, for her big heart, spirit, and depth. Paddy for her support. I have many casual friends also but feel really blessed by the aforementioned.



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TeachOnWheels
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Posted on Mon, Sep 03, 2007 09:17

I think friends become best friends from all of the above. Shared experiences, shared humor, shared interests, and shared emotions. My friends are so much more valuable to me than my family.


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redsunset
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Posted on Mon, Sep 03, 2007 07:16

nice comments from all of you......are your friends your friends because you have similar life experiences, similar values, you tickle each other's funnybone....what is it?


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HDCouple4U2NV
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Posted on Mon, Sep 03, 2007 07:10

I don't believe in best friends...I hold all my true friends (not the folks I meet on the beaten path that I ride with) my true friends at the same level no one is better than anyone! I have 8 friends and they live all over the country, and only 3 of them are female. But they are equal, because they are my friends.


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redsunset
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Posted on Mon, Sep 03, 2007 06:36

Guess it's my turn....my best friend is gone....had him for 34 years.....my rock, best friend, lover, confidante...my biggest supporter...my champion and biggest fan....his name was Jim and yesterday would have been his birthday. Next would be Teri....like my twin sister in so many ways....we understand and know instinctly how the other is feeling...many common experiences in life....I can always count on her for a kind word, a smile or laugh when I am down...non judgmental...the voice of reason. Jill....my other best bud....my daughter-in-law....my work out buudy....part of my heart.


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cruisineasy1
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Posted on Sun, Sep 02, 2007 22:26

My best friend of 30+ years is Patty. There through thick an thin, and I for her. Steadfast, loyal, supportive, nurturing and always can be talked into anouther adventure. Paula and Peggy I am also close too. They have been together as couple now for over17 years and still going strong. Paula is bright, witty, and artistic. Peggy deep, empathetic and insightful. They keep me balanced and I them through their rough times. I would also include Dan in my inner circle as well as my son and daughter as they are now adults. Dan is my rock, unflappable calm, quiet and wise and very loving. Jim and Mike are wise, witty, no bullshitters that can make me laugh in my darkest of days and deeply appreciate anything I do for them as thier mutual families of origin also really bite. They count me as thier sister. From this site, Sher, I think highly of for her sense of adventure and sunny outlook. She I believe is an unsinkable Mollie Brown type. Sassy for her wisdom and ability to be so open and honest and at ease with herself and others, as well as her very kind and caring nature. Terri, for her big heart, spirit, and depth. Paddy for her support. I have many casual friends also but feel really blessed by the aforementioned.


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Msprose
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Posted on Sun, Sep 02, 2007 18:26

I wish I were as good at expressing myself as many on this site, but I'm not. I can say this site as introduced me to many people some ok friends and some I feel are true friends. An some who embarrass the heck out of me with there words of kindness. Yes Manny is my friend A friend I hold dear, she knows my fears and wishes and together we can balance each other.I will and have been there when needed and she for me even when I didn't think I needed anyone she knew I did.(nuf said other wise the keyboard will get drenched) And then I have my buddy's Blait and what the hell is Sonya's BK name they know me well and have been a great support and I hope I will be there when needed for them, Thanks BWB and LL and Sonya your great people.


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suburbansweetheart
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Posted on Sun, Sep 02, 2007 11:04

Re: Teach you are one of the most caring women I have ever met...I hold you close to my heart and will always be there for you. You give your friendship unconditionally and with the positive energy you share so graciously How could anyone resist but to love you.. Have fun with the floor today and we'll chat tonight..All of my love TeachOnWheels write: I give them my heart, plain and simple. They get unconditional love and acceptance. They get a listening ear any time and someone who will drop anything to be there for them. They also get my crazy sense of humor that hopefully brings light to the dark times. I guess for the last gift I should apologize, but they put up with it so I guess it isn't too bad. lol


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fromthefarm
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Posted on Sun, Sep 02, 2007 10:36

Teach that sounds good for maybe Thanksgiving. Maybe we should plan something for this winter here in the North. Maybe Sioux Falls or Omaha somewhere along the interstate.


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TeachOnWheels
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Posted on Sun, Sep 02, 2007 06:28

FTF, I just got that full blast in the face. I am facing an issue with cancer. My friends have been wonderfully supportive and reassuring. My family said they hoped it wouldn't depress me enough to increase my drinking. I'm thinking the holidays with friends sounds so much better than the holidays with the judgemental assholes I am attached to genetically.


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fromthefarm
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Posted on Sun, Sep 02, 2007 05:38

You can pick your friends. You can't pick your family. Your friend will back you up all the time. Even though at times they may not understand why.


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redsunset
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Posted on Sun, Sep 02, 2007 04:23

Teach....I am not surprised....and you are a good friend to many people.


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TeachOnWheels
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Posted on Sat, Sep 01, 2007 07:27

I give them my heart, plain and simple. They get unconditional love and acceptance. They get a listening ear any time and someone who will drop anything to be there for them. They also get my crazy sense of humor that hopefully brings light to the dark times. I guess for the last gift I should apologize, but they put up with it so I guess it isn't too bad. lol


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