Biker Blogs > HDCouple4U2NV's blogs > Detached or attached?
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Posted on Apr 16, 2007 at 09:14 PM

Well to those of you that don't really know me this will make hardly any sence so let me explain. I work hosppice cases, I stay with patients their final weeks make them comfortable, ease their pain and help them make peace with people and things they need to make peace with, that's my job. Usually I have older patients, this last casae was a wonderful peaceful man 55 yrs young that had so lived his life and has a great circle of friends and I have become; for the first time in my career attached to this group of loving, caring folks. So for those of you that have wonder where I been, I have been decompressing and without my bike, hard to do, I have walked the beach, had a manicure and pedicure, tomorrow I get my hair cut. I need my bike to finish this process I always go for a long ride after I loose a patient I did'nt get attached to now I loose one I care about and my bikes in the shop. I need to ride. Can you relate to that?

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Posted on Apr 19, 2007 at 12:30 AM

hard to be attatched in a no win situation, but how much you would miss out on truly wonderful folk would be even harder.

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Posted on Apr 19, 2007 at 12:07 AM

harleygurl, you do something I could never do. It is something I do admire....If you lived closer, I would loan you a bike to ride

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Posted on Apr 18, 2007 at 09:28 PM

I can not express how much in mere words that I admire you and your choice of Nursing specialty, HarleyGurl.I worked Hospice for several years. For myself,it was very hard to be detached. I would become so closely intertwined with the patient and family,that I became one with them. Especially in private duty Hospice care. My last Hospice case was with an amazing man named Stanley. I adored him and his family. It was very difficult on me when he died. I could not decompose after his loss. So, I moved on to another specialty. God bless you HarleyGurl.

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Posted on Apr 18, 2007 at 08:35 PM

Hugs Girlfriend , It must be so hard to lose a new friend. He was a lucky man to have you even so briefly in his life you are quite a woman.. And you cute too..lol See ya again soon and this time were gonna play...lol

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Posted on Apr 18, 2007 at 08:29 PM

Special blessings for all you do ...your kindness will come back to you, in fact is already reflected thru your many friends...cowboy

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Posted on Apr 18, 2007 at 08:29 PM

Special blessings for all you do ...your kindness will come back to you, in fact is already reflected thru your many friends...cowboy

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Posted on Apr 18, 2007 at 08:00 PM

Ok today I got a call from the best friend of my patient that passed he said they all wanted me at the memorial, so if my bike is not back from the shop my roomie said I could take hers. I am just afraid if I take hers I will want a new bike LOL. So at least the heart felt connection to this group was not a one sided thing.

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Posted on Apr 17, 2007 at 10:23 AM

can I relate, more than I can put into words. Grieve the loss of this loved one.

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Posted on Apr 17, 2007 at 10:18 AM

What a wonderful thing you have done in touching a family. I am sure they have felt you heartfelt devotion to you job (life). You are truly an insperation to many that think they may have a tough job. I don't know how you do it but have a big hug from me, before you get your ride going to clear you mind.

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Posted on Apr 17, 2007 at 09:07 AM

It is something so simple yet beyond words that you give HG. You give respite, yes but you help the patient and the family keep the dignity that death can rob them of. Thank you for what you do. You are a woman with a great soul and a giving heart. T

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Posted on Apr 17, 2007 at 07:47 AM

harleygurl, takes an extrodinary person to do what you do, I know I could never do it. How do you care for these people and know your going to lose them, takes a strong caring person. Im sorry for your loss. But you know you made his last days here on earth the best they could be.

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Posted on Apr 17, 2007 at 07:30 AM

You are indeed a Very Special Human Being. You have my strong admiration and, like DD, I thank you for what you do. Doug

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Posted on Apr 17, 2007 at 07:24 AM

Nancy, you are a special woman, to care for these patients that are sick and to comfort them in their final days. We were lucky to had found a woman like you when we took my Dad out of the nursing home. He wanted to be at home when he passed and the care this woman gave him far exceeded the care he received in the nursing home. She became very attached to him just as we grew to love her as a part of our family. Not everyone has this gift and you are truly blessed. I thank you and do appreciate all of the women that do this for a living because you truly are angels to make family members as comfortable as possible during their final days before going *home. Hugssss

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Posted on Apr 17, 2007 at 07:01 AM

I do not think it is wrong to "love" your patients but be professional. Nothing worse than a nurse who has the personality of Nurse Scratchet as professionally as cold as a fridge. Or like the empathic ones who almost want to get into your life, creep under your skin and live it for you. (Back off sister!!) I have no problem with death just the dying part which is so painful and undignified sometimes. I have had near death experiences and even people near death and in pain suddenly know where they are going and a peace and joy come over them. When I am with someone whether it is short or long term death I keep passing my feelings and the concerns of my patient and their family up to God. As he bore our sins and iniquities, out pain and suffering I throw it on Him, or at least talk it through with Him as I walk along. That's all you can do. Cast your worries and anxieties upon Him as He has care of you and them. You'll see them now and you will see them again. When an Ulster protestant friend was losing his mother and it was long and drawn out. In the midst we heard through a window someone singing Handels "I Know That My Redeemer Liveth" yet we checked later and no one had been about I know that my Redeemer liveth, And that He shall stand at the latter day upon the earth; And though worms destroy this body, Yet in my flesh shall I see God. For now is Christ risen from the dead, The first-fruits of them that sleep. . All I can say is that it took our fear of death away. and my friend did not suffer grief when she went. Junie

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Posted on Apr 17, 2007 at 06:44 AM

Nancy as Manny said you are strong. I was blessed with having my Diane in my parents life at the end, she has become so much more then family to me and continue even after 5 years. To have such wonderful people in this world for those that need them is truly a blessing. I can only hope if needed I could have half your strength. Rest and relax, knowing just how much you have given. Looking forward to meeting in ES.

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Posted on Apr 17, 2007 at 06:44 AM

Manny, blow dryer come on it's not that hot here yet. lol If I don't get mine back soon I will ask room mate to borrow here's for a day.

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Posted on Apr 16, 2007 at 10:05 PM

What you do is a ~~ Beautiful ~~ thing ... It is almost "necessity" for yourself to have a outlet ... I hope you get your bike back ITW SOON! ... :^)

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Posted on Apr 16, 2007 at 09:28 PM

Yes I can...and I just want to Thank you for what you do and i Truly Admire you for what you Do...and I Thank you.

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