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chop821
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Posted on Sat, Feb 24, 2007 15:41

The Guys' Rules??????????????????? At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear "the rules " From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note . . . these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1 Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are . . . Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as SEX, CARS, the shotgun formation, or HOCKEY. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.


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TreasureTheHobo
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Posted on Sun, Feb 25, 2007 15:32

You know Hossy, I used to tell my ex husband, "if you were mute, we'd get along fine." Believe me, there are times women wish we had the same remote for men. LOL Chop..that was good, even though it was directed at my Miss Jersey. Shame on you.


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chop821
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Posted on Sun, Feb 25, 2007 15:21

Jersey, really. You don't have to buy me any thing to have sex.LOL


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windonheather
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Posted on Sun, Feb 25, 2007 10:24

...I have an itch I can't reach...HELP! I thought Sunday Sports was RIDING! I don't like Soap Opera men....there always cheating, fighting or lying. But I LOVE Victoria Secret BUT....women are strong and have LOTS of power and we usually WIN Very interesting....thanks for the post. Sorry Badman, didn't read yours first.


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JerseyAngel
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Posted on Sun, Feb 25, 2007 09:48

Hossy!!! you dirty little boy!!! slap, slap!!


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HDCouple4U2NV
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Posted on Sun, Feb 25, 2007 09:42

Badman I feel your pain it's kinda like not being in the click in school. I try to read everything and comment on them too. Sorry I did not see yours.


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Posted on Sun, Feb 25, 2007 09:35

Men have automatic earplugs that shut the noise out when your talking stuff we dont care about. We get that look on our faces that goes "wish I had a remote that turns her on mute". This only happens when women talk about boring stuff, and thats everything except the 3 key topics...sex with her, food and sex with her friends...LOL..DID I SAY THAT ! SLAP SLAP...Baby you missed a spot..SLAP SLAP SLAP...thats a form of sex right...getting beaten up by a woman before the make-up sex!!Then she says I hate you, I hate you...then she goes Oh God...etc


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suburbansweetheart
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Posted on Sat, Feb 24, 2007 21:23

Wow Chop, Thanks I needed a class in Men 101... I guess what I have been doing has been all wrong... I thought It was cool to have a partner that wanted to know my every thought,desire and shopping experience...lol


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JerseyAngel
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Posted on Sat, Feb 24, 2007 20:20

you forgot one Chop. 1. When we buy you something, we want sex. We are smarter than you think!! boo boo


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HDCouple4U2NV
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Posted on Sat, Feb 24, 2007 19:37

OMG well my room mate and I just read these and we don't have a problem with them, but we're not the average women either. We kinda agree with them but it does go both ways on a few of them. Coming through your way on Thursday the 1st. Heading to St. Augustine for a few days then to the keys for a few days then St. Pete for a few then Daytona for 3 days then back to Houston.


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Heretic
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Posted on Sat, Feb 24, 2007 19:36

I always thought my Grandpa was kind of slow, because every time my Grandma told him to do something, he got this blank stare, and acted like he had no idea what was going on Later I realized he was brilliant. My grandma always got mad and did everything herself, leaving him alone


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BranwenCarryl
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Posted on Sat, Feb 24, 2007 15:48

AWW those 'are' good and yeah they do fit you guys....LOL's.... Well said. Suz~ ;)


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TreasureTheHobo
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Posted on Sat, Feb 24, 2007 15:48

Yeah, but we are still always right. Na na.


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