Quoting chop821:

Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day




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My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire .

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it .

She moved in with me.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Looking back over the years

that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder ...

"What the hell was I thinking?"




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you ...

I've changed my mind.




-------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------




I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.




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As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am ...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.




####################################################




Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go ...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.




​********************************************************************************




Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee & West Virginia )




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost lifelike!




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.




​//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////




We have been friends for a very long time ...

let's say we stop?




+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++




I'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.




=====================================================




Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?




%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%




Your friends and I wanted to do

something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.




​))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))​


So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay

Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day




////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////


My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire .

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it .

She moved in with me.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Looking back over the years

that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder ...

"What the hell was I thinking?"




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you ...

I've changed my mind.




-------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------




I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.




//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////




As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am ...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.




####################################################




Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go ...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.




********************************************************************************




Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee & West Virginia )




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost lifelike!




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.




//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////




We have been friends for a very long time ...

let's say we stop?




+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++




I'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.




=====================================================




Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?




%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%




Your friends and I wanted to do

something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.




))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay

Quoting REALLYRED9:

Chop... sooo good! LOL

Chop... sooo good! LOL

Quoting netrider:

Ya forgot:

Love to keep in touch
My knuckles..your face

The moving pen
having writ moves on...

Friendship is based on a whole lot of things
How do you spell A$$hole?

You have taken me to new heights,
I could heap sh?t on you for ever

etc...

Ya forgot:

Love to keep in touch
My knuckles..your face

The moving pen
having writ moves on...

Friendship is based on a whole lot of things
How do you spell A$$hole?

You have taken me to new heights,
I could heap sh?t on you for ever

etc...

Quoting windonheather:

funny funny funny.....love it

funny funny funny.....love it