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Posted on Jan 23, 2007 at 11:12 AM

My lesson, for today, was my lack of arguments in the relationship. I was told that men enjoy a good fight, once in awhile. Seems, no matter how he provoked, I just wouldn't go there. he's right, I just wander away and wait until the person calms down. Then we talk. My mother was a screamer and ranter, my Dad was a peacemaker. So my question is: do people want/need to argue to keep a relationship balanced?

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Posted on Jan 27, 2007 at 06:14 PM

I don't no need in it. If you can't talk things out you don't belong together. Talk or walk thats my theroy. Nancy

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Posted on Jan 27, 2007 at 06:07 PM

I go out of my way not to Argue! And that use to make some people mad but it's not something i want or like to do ! I think it's in some peoples DNA to do so, can't understand why they enjoy it ?!

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Posted on Jan 27, 2007 at 06:04 PM

I try not to argue as argueing dose'nt solve problems where as a compremise does, if someone gets strong headed I just wait until they realise they were wrong

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Posted on Jan 27, 2007 at 05:51 PM

LMAO JAMES!!

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Posted on Jan 27, 2007 at 12:44 PM

I think there are different degrees of arguing. Some people do their processing or thinking internally. Others need to process and issue everything verbally. Things shouldn't be abusive. Understanding and getting to know one another's communication style is the key as well as when you are fighting make it fair and display mutual respect. Somtimes just walking away can be percieved as the person doing it to be ovely controlling and the person talking feeling not listened to or validated, thus escalating the anger and frustration of the person getting walked out on. Often better to reflect what is being said to show that person they are heard. Walking away is appropriate if things are so furious that both are out of control.But then to... saying,'lets talk about when we can be more solution focused and less angry.'

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Posted on Jan 24, 2007 at 03:52 PM

#1 rule to avoid arguments:put your brain in gear before your mouth.

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Posted on Jan 24, 2007 at 11:39 AM

i dont like to argue...just dicker!!! ;p

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Posted on Jan 24, 2007 at 10:31 AM

Arguing is a waste of time. Sometimes it leads to violence. It's ok to disagree! Have to meet in the middle and come to some agreement on things.. and it's not giving in or giving someone their way like some folks think.

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Posted on Jan 24, 2007 at 08:58 AM

This question is too hard. May I have a different one please?

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Posted on Jan 24, 2007 at 05:27 AM

I'd like to amend what I said a little bit - I am very much like Babe in that if I'm involved in a "discussion" and it starts escalating into a "fight" - meaning attacks, lashing out with intent to hurt, then I also wander off. Thing is, that shows me that I've gotten involved with someone I am incapable of being with. I'm very much a "talker" - with someone who will listen. I won't yell to get my points across. NOT ANY MORE. I wander right off the premises and out of that person's life. Which probably explains why most of my discussions these days are with Shih Tzu's!!!!

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Posted on Jan 23, 2007 at 09:58 PM

I think Paddy hit the nail on the head ...I agree compleatly...lol

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Posted on Jan 23, 2007 at 08:46 PM

can not and will not argue. Not after my first husband. It leads to very bad things.

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Posted on Jan 23, 2007 at 03:14 PM

I argued for most of my relationship, but then again that is what I grew up around with my parents, now I can't stand it. I don't mind a little argument, I like the make-up part, don't even need the argumant to enjoy that.

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Posted on Jan 23, 2007 at 03:02 PM

ALWAYS AGREE TO DIS AGREE THAT IS WHAT HELPS

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Posted on Jan 23, 2007 at 02:48 PM

It is one thing to disagree and compromise. If it comes down to I'm right your not, there's no respect in that. When I was going to a counselor before my divorce he said "don't argue over something you would punish your children for". When I stopped to think about it he was very right.

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