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Other Bike weeks ? Posted on Jan 18, 2007 at 05:13 AM
Irish Do they have a rally in Japan like bike week ? Back in 93 I sold an old FLH and most of the people looking at it where German or Japanese. They where the only ones with that kind of cash. HUMmmmm Is there a message there ? I have been to rallies in Germany and England. That where great. More of a camping thing. Like Woodstock on wheels. Anyway, just wondering how they do it elsewhere.
DEAR SENATOR Posted on Jan 15, 2007 at 07:08 AM
Got this in an e mail Dear Senator Sarbanes, > > > As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue > Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the > Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process > for > becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you. > > > My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to > illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the > Senate > and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions > is > accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for > five > years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and > income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when > I > see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone > figures > it out. > > > Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay > taxes > every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of > taxes > in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply > to be > illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and > my > family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005. > > > Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local > emergency > room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying > premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save > almost > $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that > my > daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law > school > applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges > throughout the United States for my son. > > > Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden > of > renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance > premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college > age > children driving my car. > > > If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become > illegal > (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would > be > most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance. > > > Your Loyal Constituent, > > > Pete McGlaughlin > > > Get your Forms (NOW)!! Call your Internal Revenue Service > Please pass this onto your friends so they can save on this great offer!!!!
PAINT Posted on Jan 13, 2007 at 04:11 AM
Getting ready to shoot Tankgirl. Maybe I should rephrase that. In the process of painting Tgirl. She was gloss black. I was getting ready to do the same gloss black thing, But I got to lookin at her in primmer and I really like it. So, flat black or Gloss ?
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BK family ADAMS or MUNSTER ? Posted on Jan 12, 2007 at 04:58 AM
Who in this family could be Gomez or Mortisha ? Pugsley, Windy, Cousin It.? How about Hermen and Lilith. I'll be Eddie.haha I have a Lurch in mind. Who do you think could be who.
CAN YOU READ THIS Posted on Jan 11, 2007 at 03:48 PM
>If you can read this, your brain is 50% faster than those who can't > > >fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid, too. Cna yuo raed tihs? >Olny 55 plepoe tuo fo 100 anc. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty >uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, >aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in >waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the >frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses >and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn >mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. >Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can >raed tihs forwrad it. >ONLY FORWARD IF YOU CAN READ THIS
SUMMARY of my year on the computer Posted on Jan 11, 2007 at 06:03 AM
SUMMARY OF MY YEAR ON THE COMPUTER I must send thanks to all my friends who have shaped my life over the past year with their emails. Thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. * Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. N I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. L I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail :8program. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish. V I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day R Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers V only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. S I no longer can buy gasoline without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans . I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise. I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army .. I no longer answer the phone ( because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan. I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike . I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their secret recipe. & Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt. Thank you too for all the endless advice Andy Rooney has given us. I can live a better life now because he's told us how to fix everything. And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 I dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg. If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 square miles will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician... Have a wonderful day.... J A South American scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's to late...
Controls Posted on Jan 10, 2007 at 07:44 PM
Looking at some new handlebars with everything inside. master cylinder wiring etc. Has anybody tried them ? Or at least a hydraulic clutch ? I mean, how dose it feel. Harder, easier. smooth?
Letter from a farm kid Posted on Jan 10, 2007 at 06:16 AM
> LETTER FROM A FARM KID, >>>> (NOW AT San Diego MARINE CORPS RECRUIT TRAINING.) >>>> >>>> Dear Ma and Pa, >>>> I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother >>>>Elmer the >>>>Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them >>>>to join >>>up >>>>quick before all of the places are filled. >>>> I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed >>>>till nearly >>>6 >>>>a.m. but I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and >>>>Elmer all you >>>>do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No >>>>hogs to >>>>slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. >>>>Practically >>>>nothing. >>>> Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm >>>>water. >>>Breakfast >>>>is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, >>>>etc., but >>>kind >>>>of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and >>>>other >>>>regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the >>>>two city >>>>boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you til >>>>noon when >>>you >>>>get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. >>>> We go on "route marches," which the platoon Sergeant says >>>>are long >>>>walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell >>>>him >>>>different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at >>>>home. Then >>>>the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. >>>> The country is nice but awful flat. The Sergeant is like >>>>a school >>>>teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. >>>>Majors and >>>>Colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none. >>>> This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep >>>>getting >>>>medals for shooting, I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as >>>>big as a >>>>chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like >>>>the >>>Higgett >>>>boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and >>>>hit it. >>>You >>>>don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes. >>>> Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. >>>>You get >>>to >>>>wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, >>>>they break >>>>real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm >>>>about >>>the >>>>best they got in this place except for that Tug Jordan from over >>>>in Silver >>>>Lake . I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, >>>>but I'm >>>only >>>>5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry. >>>> Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before >>>>other >>>fellers >>>>get onto this setup and come stampeding in. >>>> >>>> Your loving daughter, >>>> Lisa
Predictable behavior Posted on Jan 06, 2007 at 03:45 AM
I have noticed that some things are the same the world over. Like if 6 people are waiting for am elevator., and a 7Th shows up. He will still press the button in case the other 6 forgot. One of my favorites is the last piece of cake. I work on boats. Worked all over the world. And the general rule is that if you eat the last piece of cake, you wash the plate. You guessed it. That last piece will stay there for a month. Getting smaller and smaller.
Australian Court Posted on Dec 30, 2006 at 04:14 PM
CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659 ---CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The ma n replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are Comin' and I grinned." "Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, ' Logan 's Liniment will reduce the swelling', and I had to smile. "Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself." "BUT, your Honor, when She moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident'... I just Lost it." "CASE DISMISSED!!"
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO BOTH PARTIES Posted on Dec 24, 2006 at 02:15 PM
> For My Democratic Friends: > "Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religio! us faith or sexual preference of the wishes. By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher." > > > > For My Republican Friends: > Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
Connecticut Christmas Posted on Dec 24, 2006 at 02:57 AM
Looks like I am in New London CT. for Christmas. Think Santa can still find me? Just realized I have a whole barge full of coal here. Is that an omen?
JUST CHECKING IN Posted on Dec 24, 2006 at 01:51 AM
> > >> A minister passing through his church > > >>In the middle of the day, Decided to pause by the altar and see who had come to pray. > > >> > > >>Just then the back door opened, > > >>A man came down the aisle, > > >> > > >>The minister frowned as he saw > > >>The man hadn't shaved in a while. > > >> > > >>His shirt was kind'a shabby > > >>And his coat was worn and frayed, > > >> > > >>The man knelt, he bowed is head, > > >>Then rose and walked away. > > >> > > >>In the days that followed, > > >>Each noon time came this chap, > > >> > > >>Each time he knelt just for a moment, > > >>A lunch pail in his lap. > > >> > > >>Well, the minister's suspicions grew, > > >>With robbery a main fear, > > >> > > >>He decided to stop the man and ask him, > > >>"What are you doing here?" > > >> > > >>The old man said, > >he worked down the road. Lunch was half an hour. > > >> > > >>Lunchtime was his prayer time, > > >>For finding strength and power. > > >> > > >>"I stay only moments, see, > > >>Because the factory is so far away; > > >> > > >>As I kneel here talking to the Lord, > > >>This is kind'a what I say: > > >> > > >>"I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD, HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN, > > >>SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER'S FRIENDSHIP AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN. > > >> > > >>DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY, > > >> > > >>BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY. > > >> > > >>SO, JESUS, THIS IS JIM > > >> > > >>CHECKING IN TODAY." > > >> > > >>The minister feeling foolish, > > >>Told Jim, that was fine. > > >> > > >>He told the man he was welcome > > >>To come and pray just > >anytime. > > >> > > >>Time to go, Jim smiled, said "Thanks." > > >>He hurried to the door. > > >> > > >>The minister knelt at the altar, > > >>He'd never done it before. > > >> > > >>His cold heart melted, warmed with love, > > >>And met with Jesus there. > > >> > > >>As the tears flowed, in his heart, > > >>He repeated old Jim's prayer: > > >> > > >>"I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD, HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN, SINCE WE > > >>FOUND > > >>EACH OTHER'S FRIENDSHIP AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN. > > >> > > >>I DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY, BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY. > > >> > > >>SO, JESUS, THIS IS ME CHECKING IN TODAY." > > >> > > >>Past noon one day, the minister noticed > > >>That old Jim hadn't come. > > >> > > >>As more days passed without Jim, > > >>He began > >to worry some. > > >> > > >>At the factory, he asked about him, > > >>Learning he was ill. > > >> > > >>The hospital staff was worried, > > >>But he'd given them a thrill. > > >> > > >>The week that Jim was with them, > > >>Brought changes in the ward. > > >> > > >>His smiles, a joy contagious. > > >>Changed people, were his reward. > > >> > > >>The head nurse couldn't understand > > >>Why Jim was so glad, when no flowers, calls or cards came, Not a > > >>visitor he > > >>had. > > >> > > >>The minister stayed by his bed, > > >>He voiced the nurse's concern: > > >> > > >>No friends came to show they cared. > > >>He had nowhere to turn. > > >> > > >>Looking surprised, old Jim spoke > > >>Up and with a winsome smile; "the nurse is wrong, she couldn't > > > > >>know, that > > >>in here all the while everyday at noon He's here, a dear friend of > > >>mine, > > >>you see, He sits right down, takes my hand, Leans over and says to > > >>me: > > >> > > >>"I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, JIM, > > >> > > >>HOW HAPPY I HAVE BEEN, > > >> > > >>SINCE WE FOUND THIS FRIENDSHIP, > > >> > > >>AND I TOOK AWAY YOUR SIN. > > >> > > >>ALWAYS LOVE TO HEAR YOU PRAY, > > >>I THINK ABOUT YOU EACH DAY, > > >>AND SO JIM, THIS IS JESUS > > >> > > >>CHECKING IN TODAY." > > >> > > >>If this blesses you, pass it on > > >>Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true > > >>friends will > > >>leave > > >>Footprints in your heart. > > >> > > >>May God hold you in the palm of His hand > > >>And Angels watch over > >you. > > >> > > >>But for those of us who are already His, He not only holds us in > > >>the palm of > > >>His hand, but has engraved our names there, and we are continually > > >>in His > > >>sight (Isaiah 49:16) > > >> > > >>Please pass this page on to your friends & loved ones. If you > > >>aren't > > >>ashamed. > > >> > > >>Jesus said, " If you are ashamed of me," I will be ashamed of you > > >>before my > > >>Father." > > >> > > >>If you are not ashamed, pass this on. But only if you mean it. > > >> > > >>Yes, I do love God. He is my source of existence and Savior. > > >> > > >>He keeps me functioning each and everyday. Without Him, I will be > > >>nothing. > > >>Without him, I am nothing but with Him "I can do all things > > >>through Christ > > >>that > >strengthens me." Phil 4:13 > > >> > > >>This is too good not to share - > > >> > > >>So this is me ... Just Checking In > >
Letters to Santa Posted on Dec 14, 2006 at 05:07 PM
deer santa: I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Frend, BiLLy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom, who rides his ass const antly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with those? Santa Dear Santa, I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love, Francis Dear Francis, Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay. Santa Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan Dear Susan, Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam. Santa Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas Dear Thomas, All the toys are made by little kids like you in China Every year I give them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Santa, P.S. Tell your mom she got the part. Long Dong Claus, Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica Dear Jessica, Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house. Santa Dear Santa, I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one? Timmy Timmy, That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again. Santa Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home? Love, Marky Mark, First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why y ou're getting your ass kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent, apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams, Santa