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The Mistress Posted on Dec 15, 2007 at 07:04 PM
A husband and wife are having dinner at a fine restaurant when this absolutely, stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open-mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?" "Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress." "Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce." "I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Infiniti or Lexus in the garage, and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours." Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm. "Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife. "That's his mistress," says her husband. "Ours is prettier," she replies.
MERRY MERRY..AND A HAPPY HAPPY Posted on Dec 03, 2007 at 03:53 PM
hello.
what would you like to tell your squeeze...... Posted on Nov 27, 2007 at 07:14 PM
I Love You.....;p
Little Johnny Posted on Nov 14, 2007 at 09:53 PM
Fascinate A grade school teacher asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating." "That was good," said the teacher, "but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate' not 'fascinating'." Sally raised her hand and said, "My family wento to see rock City and I was fascinated." "Well, that was good, Sally," said the teacher, "but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate'." Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. Finally, she decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate", so she called on him. Johnny said: "My aut Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight." Editor: Score another one for Little Johnny, !
Lexington,Kentucky Posted on Nov 12, 2007 at 10:30 AM
sittin here at the truck stop...killin time....
Good MorningY'all Posted on Oct 12, 2007 at 04:49 AM
good morning BK people..... have a good day. safe ride.....
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grandpa and grandson bonding moment Posted on Oct 11, 2007 at 05:05 PM
A five-year-old boy and his grandfather are sitting on the front porch together, when grandpa pulled a beer out of the cooler. The little boy asked, 'Grandpa, can I have a beer?' Grandpa replied, 'Can your pecker touch your ass?' The little boy answered, 'No Grandpa, it's just a little pecker!' Grandpa said, 'Then you're not man enough to have a beer.' A little later Grandpa lit up a cigar. The little boy asked, 'Grandpa, can I have a cigar?' Once again, Grandpa asked, 'Can your pecker touch your ass?' The little boy answered 'no,' again. Grandpa said, 'Then you're not man enough to have a cigar.'! A little later, the boy came out of the house with some cookies and milk. Grandpa asked, 'Can I have a cookie?' The boy asked, 'Can your pecker touch your ass?' Grandpa replied, 'Hell yeah, my pecker can touch my ass!'The boy replied, 'Then go fuck your! self! Grandma made these for me.'
a reason not to drink... Posted on Oct 05, 2007 at 05:01 PM
...A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London . After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips." The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too. I didn't know we had a choice."
casper,wy Posted on Sep 28, 2007 at 04:43 PM
looks like i am stuck in casper..lol
3 Little Words Posted on Aug 26, 2007 at 06:16 PM
I Love You dont say it...you may never hear it dont hear it...you may never feel it say it everyday...you will know it
just sittin here in moncton,newbrunswick Posted on Aug 26, 2007 at 09:43 AM
hte weather is great...just sitting here....nothing to do...lol...;p..till morning....lol
BK Garage Sale Posted on Aug 08, 2007 at 06:37 PM
got something you want to sell or trade....post it here.
protection Posted on Jun 20, 2007 at 10:46 PM
My sister, a truck driver, had decided to get a dog for protection. As she inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, "He doesn't like men." Perfect, my sister thought, and took the dog. Then one day, two men in a parking lot approached her, and she watched to see how her canine bodyguard would react. Soon it became clear that the trainer wasn't kidding. As the men got closer, the dog ran under the nearest car.
lying about age Posted on Jun 20, 2007 at 10:43 PM
Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25 year-old blonde who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word. His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, "Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?" Bob replies, "Girlfriend? She's my wife!" They're knocked over, but continue to ask. "So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?" "I lied about my age", Bob replies. "What, did you tell her you were only 50?" Bob smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90."
church lady Posted on Jun 13, 2007 at 09:52 AM
Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a CUT -glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl. "Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter."
Discrimination Posted on May 10, 2007 at 12:26 PM
what are your thoughts?...lol...;p
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Priceless... Posted on May 09, 2007 at 03:42 PM
A man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, gently stopping his car at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman hit the roof--and the horn--screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed and placed in a holding cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects. He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Follow Me to Sunday School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car." Priceless
this is sooo true......... Posted on Apr 25, 2007 at 09:10 PM
A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?" Oh, I don't know", said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?" "OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?" The stranger thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea," To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"
ok.this is cool... Posted on Apr 25, 2007 at 09:04 AM
i just saw this on tv...its a solar charger for your ipod...phone...pda...etc. would be good to have on that long ride away from a power outlet... 3Wdot mysoldius dotcom check it out...see if it will work for you...
One of the simplest yet most brilliant ideas I?ve seen in a Posted on Apr 22, 2007 at 08:58 AM
Pee Test Like a lot of folks in this country, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as they see fit. In order to get that paycheck.. I am required to pass a random urine test, which I have no problem with. What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check, because I have to pass one to earn it for them? Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sit on their behind. Could you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check? Pass this on if you agree....just copy...paste...and send to your friends...enemys...and local..state..and federal representives......oh..better add this disclaimer....this was sent tome in an email....not my words....but words i like.....