<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<rss version="2.0">
<channel>
<title>Blogs for Junie2006.</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog?Junie2006</link>
<description>My blog</description>
<language>en-us</language>
<item>
<title>Recession Worse than Divorce!!</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=121941</link>
<pubDate>06-NOV-09</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Why is the recession worse than a divorce?

Coz you end up losing everything but still have the wife.

TeHe.

Junie
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Am I Dumb or Am I Dumb?</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=121961</link>
<pubDate>06-NOV-09</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Beloved Pet died. I Bought Plants to bury it in garden. Cleared ground, Weeded, dug hole, moved stones and dirt, put plant food in bottom, planted plants, replaced earth. patted down earth. Turned round. I'd forgot to bury the bloody pet who was still on the path in the paperbag.

OOPS!!

JunieXXX
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>UK NHS</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=120941</link>
<pubDate>13-AUG-09</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Just seeing all the HooHaa over there about a National Health System.  Just want to say that the UK NHS system was one of the best in the World with service to all irrespective of wealth, background or ability to pay. Had hight standards and dedicated nurses and doctors. Delivering basic healthcare and would not be cut off if run out of money and would not be turfing anyone out int he street or pulling the switch because you were too old or in the way.

It has been destroyed because of most good ideas it was taken over by idiots with degrees and polticians and &quot;consultants&quot; who have no idea.

At beginning a Dr could just ring up and refer a patient to a chiropractitioner, back specialist, physio etc etc and get an appointment. Then the bigwigs decided this was too easy and now put several levels inbetween where the doctor has to apply to x admin department, and financial management department, and logistics and a full team with several form inbetween. This makes the care more complicated and more expensive as each layer of admin has to be paid for 80% of NHS money goes to admin.

Also there are PC preferred areas of care and &quot;trendy&quot; areas. Therefore you will get 5-dozen projects for drugs and drink problems in one town all doubling up on what they are doing. Meanwhile the Baby care unit, Emergency Unit and Day Care for Elderly Dementia would be closed down.

Also as we are part of EU and taking in immigrants they are all entitled to NHS care and input even if they have not paid into it. I do not begrudge anyone care but we hae mass migration coming into Britain to take advantage of free care system. A lot are taking the piss out the system. Then the govt turns round and tells those who have paid for it all their lives and indigenous population that they are the ones who will have to lose out.

It was and is a wonderful idea of care and medical intervention for all at point of need. It had hight standards and was known as the best system in the world and British nurses the best and most professional.

The mess is because of managerial and political interference and an army of paid idiot consultants who forget what the NHS is there for - &quot;CARE OF THE PATIENT.&quot; 

It is not free as you pay for it the same as a private Insurance system. You are just guaranteed you and your families care even if the Insurance Company goes bust and losses all your premiums on the Stock Market.  It is not a gamble. It is a contract between Govt and people.

Proud of our NHS and so is everyone else. Just has its problems with idiots and politcians and policy makers. It would be good if it went back to &quot;Care at Point of Need.&quot; Don't think we should pay for stupid extras such as Reiki, Homeostasis merchants and color therapists when we need &quot;MORE BLOOD FOR CUBICLE 9&quot; and &quot;AN INTRAVENOUS DRIP FOR PATIENT IN ROOM 5&quot; 

Looking pretty ugly and angry over there.  Have worked in private and yes my severe Head Injury clients are &quot;cut off&quot; the minute their money runs out, and the private solicitors and professionals will take your house off you, evict your family and put you in a State Care Home without a blink of an eye.
Will also keep you a patient and even keep you ill if it keeps you on its books.

I have sat in a meeting with 6 professioals each on $100s per hour for them to discuss removing $100per week  from patients state benefits an it going to them. All these people are being paid their money out of the patient's award. Soon goes. Also plan to remove children from family. Not for concern for children but so they get the money as guardians.

Know which side I am on.

Just thought I'd let you know we are proud of our NHS. Lot of screaming and shouting over there about basic care for all. Wish everyone would be on the streets when it came to child abuse. Also the NHS etc was brought in after the war when the country was struggling. But it was there to stop people slipping back to the dreadful state of health and welbeing and poverty in the depression between the wars. My gramps where in that and many lost their children every year to things that are now nearly extinct.

JunieXXX
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<item>
<title>Hi morph535 from Junie</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=120681</link>
<pubDate>12-JUL-09</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Hi Morph535

Thanx for the wink. Am afraid this is the only way to meet and talk as both non members of BK's ripoff site.

Also their super new website does not say which part of UK we are in. Think of it as a small US state.

I am down in Hastings, Sussex with the soft southerners but originally from Bolton. (Don't meantion what they did to dear old Sam Aladyce. Shame and a disgrace that. Hope he succeeds at Blackburn) Don't know how to meet and greet you, but can at least meet and talk here.

So you Hairy Cornflake how's yourself and what's happening?

Southerners - Warmer climates. Colder hearts. We may be hardy but at least we are loving up north. But can't go back once you've left. Have changed and moved on.

When's the next peasants revolution? Shall we start one?

JunieXXX
]]></description>
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<title>PC for Men</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=120641</link>
<pubDate>10-JUL-09</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Be Politically Correct With Men 

He does not have a FAT BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY. 

He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN. 

He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS. 

He does not SLEEP AROUND - He is HORIZONTALLY OVER-GENEROUS. 

He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION. 

He is not a CRADLE SNATCHER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS. 

He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL. 

He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He is a SWINE EMPATHIZING BIGOT. 

He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED. 

He does not STINK - He has HYGIENE AVERSION SYNDROME. 

He is not a GROPING PERVERT - He suffers from COMPULSIVE HAND MOVEMENT DISORDER. 

He is not OBSESSED WITH TELEVISED SPORTS - He has AN ATHLETIC TELEVISUAL ADDICTION. 

He does not IGNORE YOU - He has ATTENTION SPAN DEFICIT DISORDER. 

He is not a LAZY, MESSY SLOB - He LACKS HAND-VACUUM COORDINATION. 

He does not tell ENDLESS, BORING, UNFUNNY JOKES - He is HUMORLY OVER-CONFIDENT. 

He does not act like a TOTAL JERK - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>linda0001</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=119761</link>
<pubDate>06-MAY-09</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Dear linda0001,

I think you have done the incredible (but not impossible) Of pissing off the BK censors with your first two blogs.

I cannot see anything except a reminder of not BK's blog rules not to post anything profame, vulgar or offensive.

WOW!!

What did you have? Pictures of the Pope? Must have been goog what ever it was.

Does not even let people respond. just the option fo reporting you for abuse.



RESPECT Girl. ;D

JunieXXX
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Strangest Case</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=119302</link>
<pubDate>21-APR-09</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
A judge in Stuttgart, Germany, is currently trying to decide on a lawsuit in which a man hired his neighbour to impregnate his wife. 

It gets weirder.

Demetrius Soupolos, 29, and his former beauty queen wife, Traute, were very keen to have a child together, but Demetrius was sterile so they began to seek out other possible options.

The option the couple eventually decided on was to hire their neighbour Frank Maus, 34, to impregnate Traute. 

Maus, who was already married with two children agreed to do the job for the fee of ?2,000. For three evenings a week for the next six months, a total of 72 different times, Maus tried to impregnate Traute.

When his own wife objected, Maus explained that he was &quot;only doing it for the money.&quot;

After the unsuccessful six-month period Soupolos insisted that Maus take a medical examination. The doctor concluded that Maus was also sterile, which forced his wife into admitting that their two children did not belong to him.

Soupolos is now suing Maus in an effort to get his money back. Maus' argument is that he did not guarantee conception, only that he would try his hardest.


JunieXXX
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<title>R.A.M & Stan Brock</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=118841</link>
<pubDate>11-APR-09</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Stan Brock is one of those little known heros who gives himself everyday for others with little in return.

Remote Area Medicine was set up to give free basic healthcare worldwide such as dental care, eyesite tests and free glasses and cervical semar tests. They also provide free medical services by a moveable care service through America. Helping many now during the recession for free with free services given by the professionals. He has now helped over 200,000 people during the recession.

Stan is &quot;The Man&quot; aged 72. Lives in RAM headquarters. Showers in cold water. sleeps in a sleeping bag and lives on porridge, rice and beans. A hero in his own lifetime. At aged 16 talked his way into being a cowboy in South America steering long horns. Later went to holliwood and became a bit actor and stunt man. Then starred in a wild series where he captured and tagged and looked after wild animals. Footage can be found of him wrestling with lions and ananacondas. Quite a man. Now gives his time raising resources for free medical care.

I think it is a great cause and a great man in this time of woosies and nonenity &quot;celebrities&quot; So find it online and give a little and if a professional think of giving a little of your time.

It is comforting to think such people still exist.

JunieXXX
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<item>
<title>MOST POPULAR</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=117861</link>
<pubDate>14-FEB-09</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Just for any newbies or oldies who have forgotten. Take a nostalgic trip down yesteryear and click the &quot;Most Popular&quot; button to see some great times and some great blogs.

What happened to these grat characters and bloggers. BK being restricive AH worthy of the prohibition era and ourselves through little spats and cat fights. Like all Dysfunctional Families have every kind of person.

Take a peep. Before they disappear. They were some good times. Where are they now? On other sites. Find them by googling them.

JunieXXX
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<item>
<title>SH*T Happens</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=117801</link>
<pubDate>11-FEB-09</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
? TAOISM: Shit happens
? ISLAM: Shit happens if it is the will of Allah
? COMMUNISM: Equal shit happens to all
people
? CATHOLISIM: Shit happens because you
are bad
? EXISTENTIALISM: Shit doesn?t happen,
shit is
? JUDAISM: Why does shit always happen to
us

JunieXXX
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Plucky Little Hero</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=117781</link>
<pubDate>11-FEB-09</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
A plucky foot-high Jack Russell terrier named George saved five New Zealand children from two marauding pitbulls, but was so severely mauled in the fight he had to be destroyed, according to his devastated owner.
George was playing with the group of children as they returned home from buying sweets at a neighborhood shop in the small North Island town of Manaia last Sunday when the two pitbulls appeared and lunged toward them, his owner Allan Gay said.
&quot;George was brave - he took them on and he's not even a foot high,&quot; Gay told The Associated Press. &quot;He jumped in on them, he tried to keep them off.
&quot;If it wasn't for George, those kids would have copped it.&quot;
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>BK Jumping the Gun</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=117641</link>
<pubDate>08-FEB-09</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
HaHa.

After my blog of adoration for this month's model &quot;Ecatman&quot; BK has sent me this e-mail. Wanting me to tell the story of our &quot;love.&quot; for free memebrship and points.

We could do an imaginary Blog Love Story and send it in at the end both winning free memebrship and extra points. and neither of us need leave our chairs. Me in England Ecat over 3000 miles away.

 According to BK Ecat has already fulfilled my dreams and I never felt a bit of it.

Are you up for it Ecat? 

BK like an itchy old aunt waiting for a wedding.

JunieXXX

Dear member,

We are very happy to hear your great news that you are in love with
&quot;Eacatman&quot; already . Would you like to share the story of your journey to
achieving success? Your story will provide motivation and inspiration for
other members who are struggling to make their dreams real.

We will offer at least one month free membership for your account at
BikerKiss.


Best wishes,

Customer service
SuccessfulMatch / BikerKiss.com
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Ecatman. This Month's Model</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=117621</link>
<pubDate>07-FEB-09</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Just zoomed in to look up our Model of the Month &quot;Eacatman.&quot;

Besides looking cute, great smile and bod. His profile is Sarcastic, irreverant, cynical, disingenuous and a wind up merchant who likes to take the piss.

I'm in love with him already. Wonder what made him put himself up for Model? = other than mischief.

HaHa You've brightened my day. :)
Would love to see you with long hair.

Junie
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Mr Bean Goes to America</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=117541</link>
<pubDate>03-FEB-09</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Is This Mr Bean?

Or Jim Carrey on a acid trips?
No. It is our Foreign Overseas Minister David Milliband. He is visiting you at the moment. He looks and acts like Mr Bean but twice as thick and with less social graces. 



He has just been to India and broken the Guiness Book of Record of insulted and offended the  most people in the least possible time.

This really is his image. Considers himself the next Prime Minister in waiting. He's visiting you at he moment. Could you keep him? please.

JunieXXX
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Cabin Fever Thinking</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=117561</link>
<pubDate>04-FEB-09</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
A hill farmer has a cunning plan to rid his fields of a plague of rabbits. Either that or he has cabin fever and has been sniffing the silage. 

Paul Coppen, 69, who owns a hill famr in Durham and supplies London's oldest restaurant with pedigree beef, was struggling to keep an army of rabbits from stripping his pastures bare.

So in an attempt to gain the upper hand, he camouflaged his vintage Massy Ferguson tractor as a cow - complete with a firing platform and a gunslit from which to blast the unwary bunnies.

He admitted the disguise - a black and white heifer painted on a wooden board fixed to the side of the vehicle - was not entirely foolproof.

He said: &quot;One of my neighbours, Stan Mitchell, came up with the idea and helped me out, and I just went with it. I hoped the rabbits would ignore the fake cow, thinking it was just another member of the herd, thereby presenting a stationary target for the rifleman as I drive about the farm.

&quot;A driver-cum-rifleman was cunningly camouflaged behind a picture of a tree above the cow. Maximum angle of fire was achieved by pointing the air-rifle through a horizontal slit above the cow, not unlike the firing positions in Second World War pillboxes.

&quot;It has to be said that not all rabbits are entirely fooled. Whereas cattle obviously do move around, trees usually don't and that may be a problem.&quot;

Mr Coppen has farmed at White Close Hill, near Bowes in County Durham, since 1975. Beef from his herd of pedigree Belted Galloways - an ancient breed probably derived from Celtic stock - is supplied to Rules, of Covent Garden, London's oldest restaurant.

&quot;I won't pretend this device is going to be the be all and end all of rabbit control - but it does seem to startle them somewhat and stops them from scampering away too quickly, which give us a chance to have a shot at them.

&quot;Luckily, no cows have been accidentally shot so far and Granite Brain, the stock bull, has not displayed any amorous or belligerent intentions towards the glamorous heifer depicted on the side of the tractor.&quot;
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>500,000</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=116301</link>
<pubDate>07-DEC-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Over 500,000 lost their jobs in the USA in November alone.

I know we are all suffering the credit crunch and that ther are more of you over there than here. But still, half a million in one month. YIKES!!!

I do have a Universal love and concern fro everyone. Polticians should be for people and the stability of their nation first.

No end in sight yet, despute the billions. Hope it turns around and hope you are all alright. Would like to know how you are all doing and who is getting caught up with it. Nows the time to reach out and network and work together. Find solutions as a community. Not feeling ashamed or embarrased and isolated in your troubles. Despite differences lest keep praying for each other and caring.

JunieXXX
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Yes Darling...</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=116281</link>
<pubDate>07-DEC-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
How Do You Like Your Eggs? 

Jill and John got married. John thought this would be a &quot;marriage of the 90's&quot; -- equal roles for equal partners. So, the first morning back from their honeymoon, he brought Jill breakfast in bed. Jill wasn't impressed with his culinary skills, however. 

She looked disdainfully at the tray, and snorted, &quot;Poached? I wanted scrambled!&quot; 

Undaunted, the next morning, John brought his true love a scrambled egg. Jill wasn't having any of it. 

&quot;Do you think I don't like variety? I wanted poached this morning!&quot; 

Determined to please Jill, the next morning he thought, &quot;third time's a charm&quot; and brought her two eggs -- one scrambled and one poached. &quot;Here, my love, enjoy!&quot; 

Jill looks at the plate and says, &quot;You scrambled the wrong egg.&quot; 


JunieXXX

I thought the usual answer to how do you like your eggs in the morning was Fertilized.
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<item>
<title>BEER HORMONES</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=116241</link>
<pubDate>06-DEC-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Beer Hormones

Recently scientists for Health suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a study showing the presence of female hormones in beer. 
The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the findings, 100 men were fed twelve pints of beer each. 

It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, could not drive, argued over nothing, refused to apologize when clearly in the wrong and could no longer stand up when taking a pee. Not meantion man boobs.


No further testing is planned. 


JunieXXX
Curtesy of Rick Wakeman Planet Rock radio Classic Rock.
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<item>
<title>Chat-Up Lines - lol :P</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=115961</link>
<pubDate>20-NOV-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Redneck Pickup Lines


1) Did you fart? 
 Cuz you just blew me away. 

2) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, 
 we kin sleep til afternoon. 

3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea . 
 I can't hold it in. 

4) Do you have a library card? 
 Cuz I'd like to sign you out. 

5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? 
 Cuz I can see myself in em. 

6) If you was a tree and I were a Squirrel, 
 I'd store my nuts in yer hole. 

7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, 
 but beauty's only a light switch away. 

8) Man - 'Fat Penguin!' 
 Woman - 'WHAT? ' 
 Man - 'I just wanted to say something that would 
 break the ice.' 

9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, 
 but I bet I can make yer bed-rock. 

10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him?  
I think he went inta this cheap motel room. 

11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner. 

              and...... the best for last! 


13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, 
 every time I think of it my nuts tighten up. 
 
 

JunieXXX
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<item>
<title>1894  Sex Tips for the Wife</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=115241</link>
<pubDate>22-OCT-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
1.THE wise bride will permit a maximum of two brief sexual experiences weekly ? and as time goes by she should make every effort to reduce this frequency. Feigned illness, sleepiness and headaches are among her best friends in this matter. 

2.MOST men are by nature rather perverted, and if given half a chance, would engage in quite a variety of the most revolting practices, including performing the normal act in abnormal positions, mouthing the female body and offering their own vile bodies to be mouthed in turn. 

3.A SELFISH and sensual husband can easily take advantage of his wife. One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: Give little, give seldom and above all give grudgingly. Otherwise what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust. 

4.JUST as she should be ever alert to keep the quantity of sex as low as possible, the wise bride will pay equal attention to limiting the kind and degree of sexual contacts. 

5. MANY men obtain a major portion of their sexual satisfaction from the peaceful exhaustion immediately after the act is over. Thus the wife must ensure that there is no peace in this period for him to enjoy. Otherwise he might be encouraged to soon try for more. 

6. A WISE wife will make it her goal never to allow her husband to see her unclothed body, and never allow him to display his unclothed body to her. 
MANY women have found it useful to have thick cotton nightgowns for themselves and pyjamas for their husbands ? they need not be removed during the sex act. Thus, a minimum of flesh is exposed. 

7.ONCE in bed, the wife should turn off all the lights and make no sound to guide her husband in her direction, lest he take this as a sign of encouragement. 

8.WHEN he finds her, she should lie as still as possible. Bodily motion could be interpreted as sexual excitement by the optimistic husband. Sex, when it cannot be prevented, should be practised only in total darkness. 

9. DO not encourage him ? nudity, talking about sex, reading stories about sex, viewing photographs and drawings depicting or suggesting sex are the obnoxious habits the male is likely to acquire if permitted. 

10.IF he attempts to kiss her on the lips she should turn her head slightly so that the kiss falls harmlessly on her cheek instead. If he lifts her gown and attempts to kiss her any place else she should quickly pull the gown back in place, spring from the bed, and announce that nature calls her to the toilet. 

11. IF the husband attempts to seduce her with lascivious talk, the wise wife will suddenly remember some trivial non-sexual question to ask him. 

12. SHE will be absolutely silent while he is huffing and puffing away ? she will lie perfectly still and never under any circumstances grunt or groan while the act is in progress. 

13. AS soon as the husband has completed the act, the wise wife will start nagging him about various minor tasks she wishes him to perform on the morrow. 

14. CLEVER wives are ever on the alert for new and better methods of denying and discouraging the amorous overtures of the husband. 

15.Arguments, nagging, scolding and bickering prove very effective if used in the late evening about an hour before the husband would normally commence his seduction. 

15. BY their tenth anniversary many wives have managed to complete their child-bearing and have achieved the ultimate goal of terminating all sexual contacts with the husband. By this time she can depend upon his love for the children and social pressures to hold the husband in the home. 

Juniexxxx

OK who said it wasn't much different today? Did I hear a gruntle in the bikeshed? lol
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<item>
<title>America 1st for Brains</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=114321</link>
<pubDate>20-SEP-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Congratulaions America for the govt to take on the home owner loans and business loans to secure the common people and let the banks, investment companies and insurance companies to  burn their own boats if they sink or swim.

Afterall it is only what the companies have been doing. selling off their loans to others then selling other loans. Bit like a pyramid system. And it is not losing govt money as they have bought the loans so the loans are paid to them. Unlike pouring trillions into the investment business just for them to gamble it wrong again and hope for a turn around which may not happen ina  depressed market.

Also it was admitted the other day that no one in the city understood the Hedge Fund system. Just left it to the golden boys to sell it and get on with it.

I am mildy reminded of the pea and three cups scam and dexterity and blather of the scam merchant.

Bang Bang. isn't it wonderful that such high up intelligent professional people get taken in by the lowest trick. I said the Endowment Mortgages wouldn't pay back when they were introduced in the 80s and lose their value. and all were investing in each other. insurance firms into insurance firms into futures into investment banks etc etc. It is a big pyramid of nothing which always eventually collapses.

But the gov't should secure the well being of the common citzen and common business as they are the ones who vote for them and who pay their wages. No wages for the common man, no wages for Mr President and the rest of the staff and egg heads.Gamble what you want amd play tricks on each other. Just As long as the normal man and the normal economy is not affected.

But well done America govt in rescuing its own people and small businesses.

been suggesting it for weeks. Come on Gordon, stop pouring trillions into a well and gamblers and tricksters. Secure everday businesses, homes and jobs. You know it makes sense.

good luck all of you.

JunieXXX
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Where's NightNurse/Debbie?</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=114721</link>
<pubDate>07-OCT-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Where is Night Nurse. did I miss something. You still out there you anarchist? How are you

JunieXXX
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Text for Mr President</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=114001</link>
<pubDate>09-SEP-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Osama Bin Laden sent Mr Bush a coded message to let him know he was still alive
--370HSSV
--0773H

Bush is baffled even the FBI, CIA and NASA cannot decipher it. They turn to Britain and ask MI-6 for help. MI-6 reply &quot;Tell the President he's holding it upside down.&quot;

JunieXX
Don't blame me blame the bf, he sent this last night.
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>SShh!!!!!</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=113241</link>
<pubDate>11-AUG-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
SSSSSHHhhhhhh!!!!

He's back. and asleep.
Doesn't he look cute?
My Lover is back and I love him and adore him. He kept the sim card with all my messages from the few years back in his wallet. Kept putting it in his phone and kept reading them. Aw!! got a BIG LOVE for him. and he for me. he missed me. Love him to bits.

Now go. Sneak out quietly. Gonna love him some more.Took some time to get him back a few feet can be too deep and wide to cross because of pride. Crossing the street has been hard and too many times we talked about the price of bread before moving on.I'm not going to let him go this time.

Nina Simone is playing in my head.

JunieXXX
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Paul Newman - A Dignified Quiet Guy</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=113162</link>
<pubDate>08-AUG-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
A Tribute to Paul Newman

The news of Paul Newman's illness has come across the pond. What stands out for me and what gives me a lot of respect for him is his quiet dignified approach to this and his choice of privacy  not making a publicity out of it (modern &quot;celebrities take note)and being with his family first.
Very Sad for those who grew up watching him. One of the old greats.

God Bless You Paul and your family at this time.

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof must be one of my favourites. What's your tribute memory?

JunieXXX
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Scooterbum69 (Aug Model)</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=113041</link>
<pubDate>06-AUG-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Is quite cute
Too far away for me. But anyone else agree

JunieXXX
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>CONGRATULATIONS MANNY & STEVE</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=112781</link>
<pubDate>26-JUL-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
CONGRATULAIONS MANNY AND STEVE ON GETTING WED TODAY 26/07/2008

HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD DAY AND WISH YOU ALL THE HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD.  HOPE THE BRIDE LOOKED BEAUTIFUL AND THE GROOM LOOKED SUFFICIENTLY NERVOUS

YOU'RE SIMPLY THE BEST

XXX
Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Battle Won  -  I Think</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=112061</link>
<pubDate>08-JUL-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
I have just won some full extended compensation - back dated for an incident which caused me to lose my position and work a few years ago.

I feel I have won the money - but no the point.

I am/was a professional and raised bad practice and lack of management addressing bad practice. I suffered persecution and threats yadda yadda. But because if the practice I suffered a serius incident which put me off work. because the input and professionalism was too late and bad my condition worsened. Which meant i had to go into &quot;survival&quot; mode (Sell my grandmother to white slave traders. Send my pets to work down the mine etc) I also got further harassment and persecution for raising the point that the input was lousey and conterproductive.

it has now taken over 7 years to get to the point that &quot;Yes&quot; it was bad practice, Yes they did screw up and Yes the input was all lousy.  I've got compensation and back dated. But the situation and bad practice remains the same with the consequences that others also lose.

My advocate said &quot;Smile. You've got the Money&quot; Does anyone get the fact that that's not the point?&quot; 

Bit Numbed and Stunned. I don't Wanna be an Anarchist - It just comes naturally to me.

Meeting is in two weeks, bring your own flag and rattle and soap box. We are going to start a revolution. The 2nd Peasant's Revolt Is Long Overdue.

JunieXXX
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>BooHoo!! Gremlins exist</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=111401</link>
<pubDate>28-JUN-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Ok. I have been writing my romantic comedy for some time now. Everyone positive and loving what I have written. The disk has opened everytime and yes I have versions backed up. But the perfect proof read one is one one disk. It has been opened and changed and checked and verified right up to half an hour before it was going to be printed. It has opened on every machine. Until I opened it to be printed and NaNa. It wont open anywhere. Every other disk will open except the one ready for printing which has been proof read.  Friend has organised me meeting with a Head of BBC drama and the ***** thing wont open.

Life is Comedy or if Life Tragedy? I think mine is a Tragic Comedy. BooHoo!!!

JunieXXX
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>SCUMBAG SPAM SCAM</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=107620</link>
<pubDate>12-MAY-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
SCAM USING SYMPATHY AND LOYALTY TO TROOPS.

Have received a scam in email asking for me to use my bank details to launder some money. Ok bAd anough when from some Herbert in Upper Niger or some Mutt in Mongolia. But this says he is a genuine member of the USA troops in Iraq tring to get money out.

Bullshit as usual but just incase there is a Country Bumpkin among us or the resident town fool may be taken in.

Just thought I'd raise it up. Of course there are problably lots of rich money launderers among us who have given their bank details over. Let me know who you are so I can send you a wink. (lol :)_

Junie

See following as the post:

Hello Dear J,

How is everything going, I hope great? Though I have not considered
 this medium to be the best manner to have approached you on this issue
 being that the internet has been greatly abused over the recent years and
 is very unsecured for informations of vital importance.

I have decided to take the chance seeing that no other means could have
 been faster and more efficient than the E-mail. I write to you
 irrespective of the fact you do not know me, but please do consider this
 letter as a request from a brother in need of assistance.

My name is Philip Adams (Sgt) an American soldier, I am serving in the
 military of the 1st Armored Division here in Iraq. As you know we are
 being attacked by insurgents everyday and car bombs, it will come worst
 now Saddam Hussein was executed. During one of our rescue Mission we
 came across a safe that contains the total sum of $26,100,000:00 (Twenty
 six Million,one 
hundred thousand Us Dollars) that belongs to the revolutionaries, which
 I believe they use in buying weapons and ammunitions, and it was
 agreed by all party present that the money will be shared amongst us. You
 can go to this web link to read about events that took place here:
 http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/2988455.stm

Out of the total fund my share was $8,700,000:00 (Eight Million,Seven
 Hundred Thousand US Dollars). I am seeking your assistance to evacuate
 my share of the money, which is $8,700,000:00 out of here to you, in as
 much as you can assure me that my own share will be safe in your care
 until I complete my service here.

This is not stolen money,and there are no dangers involved, as I have
 made arrangements with an UN representative based in Asia who promised
 to deliver the fund to any of my choosing destination. I shall be
 compensating you with 25% while the rest shall be for me for my investment
 purposes.One passionate appeal I will make to you is not to discuss this
 matter with a third party, should you have reasons to reject this
 offer, please destroy this e-mail as any leakage of this information will be
 too bad for me. I do not know for how long we will remain here, and I
 have survived two suicide bomb attacks, which prompted me to reach out
 for help because I will be migrating to you to invest and start a new
 life not as a soldier anymore.

Please if this proposal is acceptable by you, kindly send me an e-mail
 via philipadams222@myway.com signifying your interest including your
 most confidential telephone numbers for quick communication also your
 home address where the fund would be delivered.

As soon as I receive your email with the information, I will furnish
 you with full details on when and how the fund shall be delivered to you
 by the diplomat and he will make a contact with you before anything
 move.

Waiting for our urgent reply.
Best regards,
Sgt. Philip Adams.
___________________
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Pick up Lines by the Stars</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=107061</link>
<pubDate>07-MAY-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Aries I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?

Taurus I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.

Gemini Do you have any overdue library books? 'Cause you've got the wordfine written all over.

Cancer Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom and tell her I justmet the person I'm going to marry.

Leo Is it hot in here, or is it just me?

Virgo Baby, you must be a broom, 'cause you just swept me off my feet.

Libra If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I'd be walkingthrough my garden forever.

Scorpio Your place or mine?

Sagittarius Hi, I'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life. Can Iinterview you?

Capricorn Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?

Aquarius You're hot. You must be the reason for global warming.

Pisces Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?

Is your sign you?



I am definitely Aquarius. Bit like receiving a flying full back rugby tackle by Halley's Comet. Is it a bird? is it a plane? Is it a crashing planet on fire. NO!! Junie has seen her man and is homing in. Can the Earth survive?

Junie XXX Coming In Hard. I'm Gonna &quot;Get Ya&quot;
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Members/Non members ?</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=104200</link>
<pubDate>09-APR-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Just checking BK#s latest devise to get the non commitants to buy into membership.

Logged in this morning. Any posts I add do not show up at all unless I check my &quot;posts&quot;

Also I cannot open any of the longer comments or jokes. It just stops at the letter and doesn't give me an option to opne any more.

Also my log in swtiches off after reading any post and I have to log in again.

Is it me? Is it the Aliens? or is it BK?

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>WISHING TEACH....</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=103840</link>
<pubDate>07-APR-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
ALL MY BEST WISHES TEACH, AND I SINCERELY HOPE ALL HAS GONE WELL AFTER YOUR OPERATION AND THAT ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE FOR THE FUTURE.

Teach has been a very positive and consistent stable conTributor to BK blogs and yet often keeps her own private life and concerns and worries quiet. So I wish everyone can add their own tribute and respect to a wonderful woman.

I don't think we give enough respect and good wishes to one another round here. Let start baking some blog cakes and putting some good ingredients in.

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>DREAM BABY?</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=102000</link>
<pubDate>20-MAR-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
OK.  What does it mean when you dream of having a baby?

I have dreamt a few times in my life of having a baby - or two (twins one time) The dreams are so normal that when I wake in the morning I am convinced I have had a baby and am waiting to hear its cry.

Last night I had  a baby while surrounded with a lot of criticism and negative who wanted me to ditch the baby or even tried to kill it. yet in the dream I hid it and felt very proud of looking after it successfully breastfeeding it where it latched on first time.

Probably just broody.  I am praying at the moment for various things so maybe it is a hope of things to come 

oR TIME IS RUNNING OUT MY WOMB IS DRYING UP AND MY PAPS ARE WITHERING
Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>COMBAT STRESS USA</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=97920</link>
<pubDate>15-FEB-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
I have set up a business and like to donate part of my profits to a cause oR charity. As I am an ex mental nurse, have many customers in the USA and am passionate about mental health I would like to donate a % of my takings to a US charity dedicated to Combat Stress in Service Men and Women.

i have done a search but cannot instantly find a USA Combat Stress Charity.

Could someone help me and direct me to a site so i can arrange a regular covenant. I can only find the UK one so far - which of course I will contribute to - but as customers are also US I think it only fair that the % their part should go to their own.

Looking forward to your response

THANX

JunieXXX
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>MY TTS...</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=96500</link>
<pubDate>05-FEB-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
ARE SO  COLD AND PAINFUL IT FELS LIKE THEY ARE IN A PAIR OF VICE CLAMPS Can someone come and warm 'em up and rub 'em get them warm and get the circulation going?

Oi!!! Warm your bloody hands up first.

I know we are late in England and spring flowers are already out but Feb wind is icey cold and bitter and is tweaking at my paps. Feel like I'm being pulled along with a pair of pincers.

 

junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>SIBLINGS  Hello and Goodbye</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=94700</link>
<pubDate>24-JAN-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
What do you do when your brother is your only family and he is everything that that you hate?How does anyone else handle it.

After years having disappeared he has shown up. But after a xmas card and coming birthday card. Two telephone calls shows he hasn't changed and si everything i hate.

When we were kids I would &quot;BOP!!&quot; him even though he was bigger then me? Do you think that would be an answer. I know it would give me instant satisfaction.


Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>THE POWER OF THE GREAT......</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=92880</link>
<pubDate>11-JAN-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Button which ensurers Only this user's circle of friends may view their blog entries! 

Ideal for finding out you haven't got any and the only one who has viewed your blog is you when you first put it up.

See even I have got 2 within 2 seconds and they are both me. One putting it up and another one checking it.

junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Internet Dating</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=92280</link>
<pubDate>07-JAN-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
.....By Magritte.

Or maybe the truth behind any kind of dating.

junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>PUA POWER</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=91220</link>
<pubDate>31-DEC-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Do you have PUA Power?  

That is the Pulling Power and the art and skill of the PICK UP ARTIST.

In this modern world where old fashioned ettiquette and courting manners and rituals are lost and men confused new Secret Society has emerged called PUA. These are men who are dedicated to the skills and charms of the pick up and &quot;The Game&quot;

There are websites and societies were men can learn once again the art of charming the bird off its lofty perch and into your nest. Before throwing it out again. Reminds me of the Boro Bird in Australia.

There are websites for it.  Has anyone else heard of it or are any gentlemen paid up members.

I think a little charm , wit, intrigue and tactics are always more attractive to the packaging. Makes Groucho Marx look like Errol Flynn.

But reading some of the books the tactics area  bit cheesy and only a blonde dimwit would fall for them. And it givs no recognition to having good repsectful relationss or respect to women. But Hey. Lets be honest girls and boys it works And the bstds pull them in while the nice guy sits on the side.

I like a little charm and wit and imagination, but I still expect some solid cake under the icing. But at least it makes it more fun. Any charmers and skilled players among us? or any Pulling Power PUA techniques you would like to share ro avoid

Once again it will be said &quot;In LIke Flynn.&quot;

junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Iris Potts -</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=91200</link>
<pubDate>31-DEC-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Gained 4 inches. 

Well I am really glad you felt like sharing that in a spam e-mail.

But as Iris is a girl's name and its says you gained a bigger ck. Its even more amazing. 

Just shows that these things are written by illiterate peasants in a mud hut in Africa. Either that or Canadian Pharmacists offering cheap drugs. (If Only!!) Which is the second biggest spammer.

Or how many times have I got hundreds of thousands of funds in some off shore bank in Whallah Whallah land. 

What Spam gets your goat? or pulls your todger to distraction?

junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>I want to see your picture, Can you please post one?</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=90680</link>
<pubDate>28-DEC-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
To all you married men. Go home to your wives. Beauty is not only skin deep I am pretty ugly inside as well. Just call me BlueBeard (I'll let you guess where the beard is) Bluebeard collected hands and heads. I have a Castration Collection Box.

Come closer. Let me show you. I have not had a new addition for  a while. I need a nice new pink one where the blood is still pumping and you can see it still twitching.

Or better still invite your wife to the blogs where she can see you are looking for a beautiful woman. And you say you are Christian. I never do but I do believe that all relationships are sacred.

junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>From the Beginning</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=91020</link>
<pubDate>30-DEC-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Jack was marrying Jill so the night before the wedding Jack's father decided to sit his son down and have a word with him. Give him some good advice.

&quot;Jack&quot; said his father. &quot;Let me give you soem advice.&quot;  Years ago when I married your mother on our wedding night when I took off my trousers I handed them to your mother and asked them to put them on and try wearing them  She did but then she said &quot;I can't wear these they are much too big&quot;

&quot;Exactly. I said to your mother. There's only one persoan who wears the trousers in this marriage and that is me. One Boss. No one else&quot; His father proudly told Jack. 

&quot;Ok&quot; said Jack &quot;I'll try that&quot;

On the wedding night Jack did what his father suggested and asked his wife to try wearing his trousers. She did and like his mother Jill said &quot;I can't possible wear these. They are far too big&quot;

&quot;Exactly&quot; said Jack smugly &quot;There's only one person who wears the trousers in this family and that is me&quot;

&quot;Ok&quot; said Jill, Then Jill took her knickers off. &quot;How about you try getting into these?&quot;

Jack tried his wife's knickers but eventually said &quot;Its impossible. I can't get into them&quot;

&quot;Yes!&quot; said Jill &quot;And you never will either unless you change your attitude.&quot;

Aren't women wonderful??

junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Blonde on Blonde</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=91000</link>
<pubDate>30-DEC-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Two blonde babes were taking a walk in the woods one day when they came across some tracks. The first blonde said. &quot;Look those are Deer tracks&quot; 
The second Blonde disagreed saying &quot;Don't be stupid. They are badger tracks&quot;
&quot;Nonsense&quot; said the first Blonde. &quot;They are Deer&quot;

And so the arguement continued and got so heated that they didn't hear the train coming.

lol

junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>MANNY!!   DID YOU KNOW???....</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=90440</link>
<pubDate>26-DEC-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Its just 363 days to Christmas. 
Are you ready???

lol junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Mounted Doughnut</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=89900</link>
<pubDate>20-DEC-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
A policeman on a horse was riding by when cam across a little girl playing near erh drive peddling along in a new toy car.

Policeman asks &quot;Hey little girl Did Santa Claus get you that for Christmas?&quot;

&quot;Yes&quot; said the little girl quite proudly &quot;He did.&quot;

&quot;Well&quot; said the policeman &quot;You should tell him you need to have reflectors on the rear of your car&quot; and promptly fined her  5 dollars.

The little girl was cross but didn't show it. Instead she looked up at the policeman and asked &quot;Mr Policeman. Did Santa bring you that horse for Christmas?&quot;

&quot;Why yes he did little girl&quot; he answered.

&quot;Well&quot; said the little girl&quot; Next time tell him the prick goes under the horse not on top&quot;

junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Arthur Davidson Goes To Heaven</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=88860</link>
<pubDate>16-DEC-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Arthur Davidson in Heaven 
Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation died and went to Heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, &quot;Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is you can hang out with anyone you want in heaven&quot;. 
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, &quot;I want to hang out with God.&quot; St. Peter took Arthur to the throne room, and introduced him to God. 

Arthur then asked God, &quot;Hey, aren't you the inventor of woman?&quot; God said, &quot;Oh, yes.&quot; &quot;Well,&quot; said Arthur, &quot;professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention: 

1.There is too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion. 
2.It chatters constantly at high speeds. 
3.Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much. 
4.The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust, and finally, 
5.The maintenance costs are outrageous.&quot; 
&quot;Hmmm, you may have some good points there,&quot; replied God, &quot;hold on.&quot; God went to his celestial Super Computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it. 
&quot;Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,&quot; God said to Arthur, &quot;but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention then yours&quot;. 

junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>DESIDERATA</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=87960</link>
<pubDate>13-DEC-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence. 
As far as possible, without surrender, 
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others,
even to the dull and ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be
greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career
however humble;
it is a real possession in the 
changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you
to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit
to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham,
drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>NAUGHTY SANTA (DT)</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=87980</link>
<pubDate>13-DEC-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
.
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>WE LOVE YOU DEB/SYM/NN</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=87280</link>
<pubDate>10-DEC-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
WE LOVE YOU DEB.
WE REALLY DO.
WE WANT YOU TO STAY
WE DON'T WANT YOU TO GO
WE LOVE YOU.

WE love your energy, your drive, your creativity. Your red headed hotness. Your hard work. Your way of never letting anyone or anything knock you down or anyone else. We love that you stand up for women's rights and needs and that when you have noticed someone who may have a problem such as self-harm or bi-polar. You have been there coming alongside and giving your professional and personal help and having the guts to admit you have a vulnerable side as well. That takes guts because not everyone would lay themselves out so RAW in front of others. 

We do not want you to go or lynch you or hang you high and dry. We don't want you to be hurt or hurting in anyway. I do love you and I am not American I do not do platitudes or positive thinking or positive affirmation statements. We do insult each other and jump on each other and say quite rudely and firmly if we are concerned. I have on occassion had to have friends kindly enquire if I want me &quot;'head kicking in&quot; to sort me out.  It is not love as you know it, but it is still love.

I think the only way out of this is to have an Irish wake. where we ladle strong liquor down everyone's throat until they are completelt drunk and get all their heebie jeebies out. All their frustrations, all their anger, all their tears. Have plenty of booze, plenty of food, plenty of tears, a fight and a good old fashioned Crack burst into tears cry on everyone's shoulder and go to sleep where we sit or lie til the morning. Then in the morning there would be a  big old Irish fry up twu'd all be over and we would be back again with the problems and demons exocised.

PS: I am not a drunk as I cannot drink. But I can be lairy without.
and sing wih the rest at the drop of a hat.

WE LOVE YOU DEB. WE WANT YOU TO STAY. WE DON'T KNOW WHAT HAS GONE WRONG. A LOT OF THINGS HAVE BEEN SAID. WE WANT THINGS AND YOU TO BE BACK TO BEING POSTIVE. WE WANT DEB BACK. AND TO KNOW SHE IS LOVED.

I am sorry for the way things have gone and I am sure many will join this blog just to say so too.

junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Why Did....?</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=87100</link>
<pubDate>09-DEC-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Why did God choose Bethlehem instead of Bikerkiss for the birthplace of Jesus.

He couldn't find three wise men and a virgin..

(this can be adapted for any town you want to say it about)

junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Technical Question</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=87561</link>
<pubDate>11-DEC-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
I just don't GET IT!!

What's the difference between TIGHTS and PANTYHOSE?

If they cover the bum they are just called tights in England. I can't see the difference.

Please explain.

junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>DON'T TELL PADDY.........</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=87700</link>
<pubDate>12-DEC-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Or she'll want one. I know she is into piggiewiggies and she's till looking for a replacement for Leroy. Where did that fine piece of bacon rind go? But news today from England 

A litter of seven piglets has been born with curly coats in Lincolnshire.


The little piggies have been bred from pigs in Hungary.

Some of them have become so hairy that they have had to to be sheared like sheep.

In the past their coats have also been used to make clothes.

The Lincolnshire Curly Coat is thought to have died out in the UK in the early 1970s.

But in parts of Eastern europe pigs continue to sport similar coats

junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>NINA SIMONE - Sings It Like It Is</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=87680</link>
<pubDate>12-DEC-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
I'm Just A Soul Who's Intentions Are Good (lyrics)

Baby, do you understand me now 
Sometimes I feel a little mad 
Well don't you know that no-one alive 
Can always be an angel 
When things go wrong I seem to be so bad 

I'm just a soul who's intentions are good 
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood 

Baby, sometimes I'm so carefree 
With a joy that's hard to hide 
And sometimes it seems that 
All I have to do is worry 
And then you're bound to see my other side 

I'm just a soul who's intentions are good 
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood 

If I seem edgy, I want you to know 
That I never mean to take it out on you 
Life has it's problems and I get my share 
And that's one thing I never mean to do 

'cause I love you 
Oh, oh, oh, baby, don't you know I'm human 
Have thoughts like any other one 
Sometimes I find myself alone and regretting 
Some foolish thing, some little simple thing I've done 

I'm just a soul who's intentions are good 
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood 

Yes, I'm just a soul who's intentions are good 
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood 

Yes, I'm just a soul who's intentions are good 
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood 

Yes, I'm just a soul who's intentions are good 
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood

junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>THE ISLAND  - John Donne</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=87660</link>
<pubDate>12-DEC-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
THE ISLAND: (John Donne) Isolation vs. Interconnectedness of Mankind

No man is an island, 
Entire of itself; 
Every man is a piece of the continent, 
A part of the main; 
If a clod be washed away by the sea, 
The World is the less
Any man's death diminishes me,  
Because I am involved in mankind myself

And of ourselves...

&quot;All mankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language; and every chapter must be so translated...

junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Put Christ Back Into Christmas</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=87322</link>
<pubDate>10-DEC-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
The head of Britain's equality watchdog has urged the country to ignore &quot;politically correct&quot; critics and put Christ at the centre of Christmas festivities.

ADVERTISEMENT
 
Trevor Phillips, chairman of the Equality and Human Rights Commission, has joined non-Christian community leaders to head off what his organisation says is the growing sense that to celebrate the birth of Jesus is taboo.

In recent years a number of school nativity plays have been banned or altered to change their Christian meaning so as not to offend some minorities.

Mr Phillips, who is to give a speech at a conference on diversity in London, will say: &quot;A lot of these stories about Christmas are the usual silly season stuff.

&quot;But I can't help feeling there's sometimes an underlying agenda to use this great holiday to fuel community tension.

&quot;That's why I asked leaders in different religious communities to join me in saying: It's time to stop being daft about Christmas. It's fine to celebrate and it's fine for Christ to be the star of the show.&quot;

Speaking about Muslim, Hindu and Jewish festivals, he will go on to say: &quot;The logic is baffling: to welcome Eid and Diwali and Hanukkah in celebration of our glorious diversity, whilst brushing Christmas under the carpet as an embarrassing episode in our mono-cultural past.&quot;

Anil Bhanot, the Hindu Council UK's general secretary who has joined forces with Mr Phillips, said: &quot;Hindus celebrate Christmas too. It's a great holiday for everyone living in Britain. We would like Christians to continue to carry Jesus' message of love. Barring the faiths of others does not fit in with the Hindu religion.&quot;

While Dr Indarjit Singh, director of the Network of Sikh Organisations UK said: &quot;Every year I am asked, 'do I object to the celebration of Christmas?' It's an absurd question.

&quot;As ever, my family and I will send out our Christmas cards to our Christian friends and others. In the spirit of Christmas, we in the Singh family will, as usual, force ourselves to have extra turkey, Christmas pudding and mince pies, the lot - all in the cause of inter-faith harmony. No one can say Sikhs don't go the extra mile.&quot;

And ALL THE PEOPLE SAID &quot;AMEN!!&quot;

junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>My Name is Bond - James Bond</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=87101</link>
<pubDate>09-DEC-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
James (77075) Bond went into a bar. In the bar there was a beautiful brunette called Blait and Bond chose to sit down near her.

As he sat at the side of her Bond started to look at his watch and fiddle with it.

The brunette turned to Bond and said &quot;Is your date running late?&quot;

&quot;No No&quot; said Bond &quot;I have a state of the art advanced systems watch and it has special inbuilt powers&quot;

&quot;Like what&quot; said the brunette

&quot;Well it has ESP and it can read things I cannot see and tell me things about people I wouldn't normally know&quot;

&quot;Like what?&quot;

&quot;Like you are wearing no underwear&quot;

Brunette laughing &quot;Well its wrong because I am wearing underwear&quot;

Bond tapping the watch &quot;Damm!! my watch is an hour fast&quot;

junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>From LEAHJUNO</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=86840</link>
<pubDate>07-DEC-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
coz she might not post this although she sent it to me.

Just Stay

 

A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside. 

'Your son is here,' she said to the old man.

 She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's eyes opened.

Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man's limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement. 

The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed. All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man's hand and offering him words of love and strength.

Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile. 

He refused. Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital - the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients. 

Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night. 

Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse . While she did what she had to do, he waited. 

Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her.

'Who was that man?' he asked. 

 

The nurse was startled, 'He was your father,' she answered. 

 

'No, he wasn't,' the Marine replied. 'I never saw him before in my life.' 

'Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?'

'I knew right away there had been a mistake,
but I also knew he needed his son, and his 
son just wasn't here. 

When I realized that he was too sick to tell
whether or not I was his son,
knowing how much he needed me, I stayed.' 

The next time someone needs you ... just be there.  Stay. 

 

**************

  WE ARE NOT HUMAN BEINGS GOING THROUGH A 
TEMPORARY SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE.

WE ARE SPIRITUAL BEINGS GOING THROUGH A TEMPORARY 
HUMAN EXPERIENCE. 
(love this line.) 
 

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Toddler's Property Laws</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=87080</link>
<pubDate>09-DEC-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Toddler Property Laws 
1. If I like it, it's mine. 
2. If it's in my hands, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a week ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks just like mine, it's mine.
8. If I think it's mine, it's mine.
9. If it it's near me, it's mine.
10.If it's broccoli, it's yours. 


junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>CHRISTMAS CRACKERS</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=87040</link>
<pubDate>08-DEC-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Give me a Christmas Cracker Joke. The silly, the childish, the sweet and the groaners

Q: What is the greatest invention of mankind?

Ans: Venitian Blinds

Q: Venitian Blinds? Why's that?

Ans: Well if it wasn't for venitian blinds it would be curtains for the lot of us. lol

junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Three Wise Women</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=87003</link>
<pubDate>08-DEC-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
What would have happened if it had been the three Wise Women instead of three Wise Men?
* they would have asked directions
* arrived on time
* helped deliver the baby
* cleaned the stable
* brought practical gifts
* and made a casserole.

But what would they have said as they left?

As they left, they would have said:
* Did you see the sandals Mary was wearing with that gown?
* That baby doesn't look anything like Joseph!
* Can you believe that they let all of those disgusting animals in there?
* And that donkey they are riding has seen better days, too!
* Want to bet on how long it will take before you get your casserole dish back?
* I heard that Joseph isn't even working right now.
* Virgin, my a$$, I knew her in school!
        
junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>PANTOMINE TIME</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=86160</link>
<pubDate>04-DEC-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
If you were putting on a Pantomine which one would it be? Who woudl you cast in the starring roles (BKrs or others) Who would you be?
Who would be Cinderella?
Who would be the Ugly Sisters?
Who would be Prince Charming?
Who would be the wicked witch? Bad Fairy? this could be anyone, could be you if you don't like Sweet Little things. Think what fun you have being the baddie.

What is you fav pantomine? Who would be in it?

junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>NAUGHTY CAROLS</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=85960</link>
<pubDate>03-DEC-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
What alternative lyrics to carols do you know. Here is 

Walking Around In Women's Underwear to the tune &quot;Winter Wonderland&quot;

Lacy things -- the wife is missin',
Didn't ask for her permission,
I'm wearin' her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.

In the store -- there's a teddy,
With little straps -- like spaghetti,
It holds me so tight,
Like handcuffs at night,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.

In the office there's a guy named Melvin,
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.
He'll say, &quot;Are you ready?&quot; I'll say,&quot;Whoa, Man!&quot;
&quot;Let's wait until the wife is out of town!&quot;

Later on, if you wanna,
We can dress -- like Madonna,
Put on some eyeshade,
And join the parade,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!

Lacy things... missin',
Didn't ask... permission,
Wearin' her clothes,
Silk pantyhose,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!

junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Most Richly Blessed</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=85820</link>
<pubDate>02-DEC-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
A Poem from Rick Wakeman keyboard player of YES. I've got into him on Planet Rock radio. Saturday morning.

I asked for strength that I might achieve;
I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey. 

I asked for health that I might do greater things;
I was given infirmity that I might do better things. 

I asked for riches that I might be happy;
I was given poverty that I might be wise. 

I asked for power that I might have the praise of men;
I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God. 

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life;
I was given life that I might enjoy all things. 

I got nothing that I had asked for;
But everything I had hoped for. 

Almost despite myself my unspoken prayers were answered;
I am, among all men, most richly blessed.

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Filthy Elvis</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=84000</link>
<pubDate>21-NOV-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Just found this site filthyelvis a dirty parody of Elvis's songs.
Filthy Elvis 1 &amp; 2

Blow Me Brenda to the tune of Love Me Tender and All Fucked Up to All shuck up.

Samples of songs at bottom of webpage. Something for your stocking.

Pure Filth lovely. TeHe

junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>WEDDING CONGRATULATIONS</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=80700</link>
<pubDate>31-OCT-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
To CRINK and LAURA married 07/07/07

My belated but fond good wishes to you both and all the happiness in the future.

To the rest of BKers. Crink is a bker who reads the blogs but doesn't participate. Just a regular guy looking for love, afterall his efforts like the fairy tale he found it in the girl next door Laura. Who took it in her heart one night last year to cross the great divide of lawn, fence, steps ,porch, doorbell,  and possible REJECTION to ask him over for a coffee. (Thank God for assertive women) He said &quot;YES.&quot; It seems they are still very happy and working hard together for their future. So hope that gives hope to you all.

ALL THE BEST

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Who Am I?</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=79540</link>
<pubDate>24-OCT-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Who is this beautiful young lady?
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>BK's Irish Limmerick Competition</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=72300</link>
<pubDate>19-SEP-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
For fun make up limmericks about bk and each other.

ie:
Treasure was a young girl whose attire,
Soon set all the clergy a-fire,
She displayed her knickers,
To various vicars,
And all of the boys in the choir.

A starting line could be -
There once was a biker called ....


have fun

junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>The Fisher King</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=75880</link>
<pubDate>07-OCT-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
The Fisher King - an Arthurian legend

It began when the king was a boy. He had, as a test of courage, to spend a night alone in the forest in order to become king. While he spends the night alone there he is struck by a holy vision. Out of his campfire the holy grail appeared, the symbol of the grace of God, our Lord. 
And a voice said to the boy: &quot;You will be the keeper of the grail, and it heals the hearts of mankind.&quot; 

But the boy was blinded by bigger visions of a life full of power and glory and splendor. In a state of complete ecstacy for one moment he feels not like a boy but invincible, like God. He reached out with his hands into the fire to seize the grail, but it disappeared and left him behind with his hands in the fire, and he sustained serious burnings. 

And while the boy grew older his wound grew deeper. Until one day life lost its sense for him. He could not have faith in anybody, not even in himself. He could neither love nor feel love. After he got that clear in his mind he became ill. He began to die. 

One day a fool entered the castle and found the king alone. And with his simple mind the fool did not recognize the king. He just saw a man who was alone and took pains. 

And he asked the king: &quot;What's wrong with you, friend?&quot; 

And the king answered: &quot;I'm thirsty. I need some water to moisten my throat.&quot; 

So the fool grasped a mug that stood next to the bed, filled it with water and passed it to the king. As the king began to drink he realized that his wound was healed. He looked in his hands; and there was the holy grail he aimed for all his lifetime. 

In astonishment he asked the fool: &quot;How could you find what my Noblest and Bravest failed to find?&quot; 

And the fool replied: &quot;I don't know! I just knew that you were thirsty.&quot; 

junie

God dwells in small acts of human kindness. As Mother Teresa said. Its not what you do but the amount of love that you do it with. That...
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Don't Want An Insecure Woman.  THINK AGAIN!!!!</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=75780</link>
<pubDate>07-OCT-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
DON'T WANT AN INSECURE WOMAN - THINK AGAIN!!!
(a parody)

Speaking on behalf of the many wondeful women in the world and many on BK and on this Blogland.  Let me assure you.....

We women are 100% Confident and give full backing to the Power and Persuasion of our Neuroticism, our Indecision, our Paranoia, our Sexual Hang Ups, our Obsessions (put that toilet seat down) and the tempest of our tortured menstrual cycles to have full control over any man and the ability to confuse and crush his soul to ruin.

Added to that we have read every Mills and Boon and romantic novel going so we know how LOVE should go and can take you apart if it doesn't. We have also read every psycho-anakytical theory going so again we can take you apart on any of your objections and make you feel guilty even for daring to suggest them. We have the exclusive use and abuse and full copyright to use of the term &quot;You're PATRONISING ME!!!&quot; on any occasion without warning or deigning to give any explanation. We just expect you to be Holy terrified and convicted and fully repentent (wih chocolates and jewellry) of YOUR WRONG.

In other words. We Rule the World. You are Stuffed. So Bow Down. Submit.....hand over your wallet and &quot;Get Over it.&quot;

junie (do I really have to add a smilie and lol to show this is a joke? OK. Just in case) ; )lol
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>You Will Be Punished</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=74440</link>
<pubDate>29-SEP-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they stumbled into
 a 
harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting 
friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheik came in. 

&quot;I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except 
me. You three men must pay for what you have done today. You will be 
punished in a way corresponding to your profession.&quot; 

The sheik turns to the first man and asks him what he does for a
 living. 
&quot;I'm a cop&quot;, says the first man. &quot;Then we will shoot your penis off!&quot;, 
said the sheik. 

He then turned to the second man and asked him what he did for a
 living. 
&quot;I'm a firemen&quot;, said the second man. &quot;Then we will burn your penis 
off!&quot;, said the sheik. 

Finally, he asked the last man,&quot;And you, what do you do for a living?&quot; 
And the third man answered, with a sly grin, &quot;I'm a lollipop salesman!&quot;
 
Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>NEW MODEL</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=74100</link>
<pubDate>27-SEP-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
What a girl!!! Great profile. Reads real well. Can wrestle a crocodile too. (lol)

What do you think? She sounds great but not for the faint hearted or woolley minded.. Definitely knows who she is and what she wants.

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>The Beauty of a Woman</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=73620</link>
<pubDate>25-SEP-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Did you know that if shop mannequins were real women they'd be too thin to have babies? 

There are 3 billion women who don't look like supermodels and only eight who do.

Marilyn Monroe wore a size 14.

If Barbie was a real woman, she'd have to walk on all fours due to her proportions. 

The average woman weighs 144 lbs and wears between a 12-14.

One out of every four college aged women has an eating disorder.

The models in the magazines are airbrushed - not perfect!

A psychological study in 1995 found that three minutes spent looking at a fashion magazine caused 70% of women to feel depressed, guilty, and shameful.

Models twenty years ago weighed 8% less than the average woman.Today they weigh 23% less.

Today women are lovers, mothers, and career women. Who else is able to balance such a load, and do it with a smile?

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, The place where love resides. The beauty of a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the care that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows. The beauty of a woman, with passing years - only grows. 

Junie
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Ten Things Only Women Understand</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=73560</link>
<pubDate>25-SEP-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND 
10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6 Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3.. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made. 

AND, the Number One thing only women understand : 

1. OTHER WOMEN

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Annual General Meeting</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=73021</link>
<pubDate>22-SEP-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
.
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Aussie Burgular</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=72340</link>
<pubDate>19-SEP-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
SYDNEY (Reuters) - It was a stick up of a different kind for one Australian burglar, who broke into a neighbour's house and played sex games in the bathroom with a bottle of toilet detergent and a vacuum cleaner.

A court in the northern city of Brisbane heard how 27 year old Jamie Lacey, high on drugs, broke into the house in September 2004, scattering pornographic magazines around the bathroom and making a sex toy from a bottle of detergent, a piece of wood and a rubber glove, the Brisbane Times reported.

Lacey was arrested in December 2006 after police matched his DNA to that on the rubber glove, according to the Australian Associated Press.

A vacuum cleaner was also found in the bathroom, but the judge dismissed a defence submission that there was no proof the vacuum has been used for sexual purposes.

&quot;I'm sure that your client didn't hoover the carpets,&quot; the newspaper and AAP quoted judge Tony Rafter as saying.

Lacey was sentenced to 12 months community service, with judge declining to send him to jail since he had held a steady job for two years and was now a father

Bat I await your comment and any puns from anyone else.
junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>God Sued for Disasters</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=72322</link>
<pubDate>19-SEP-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
WASHINGTON (AFP) - A court in Nebraska is being asked to cast judgement on the ultimate judge -- God.


State lawmaker Ernie Chambers filed a lawsuit Friday against the Almighty -- acknowledging he/she goes by numerous aliases -- for causing &quot;fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes, pestilential plagues&quot; and other alliterative catastrophes.

The suit, Chambers vs God, asks the court for a &quot;permanent injunction ordering defendant (God) to cease certain harmful activities and the making of terrorist threats&quot; which affect innumerable persons, including Chambers's constituents.

It asserts that God is &quot;the admitted perpetrator&quot; of such acts and said that God's omnipresence gives the local Douglas County District Court jurisdiction in the suit, adding that God's omniscience eliminates the need to issue a formal notice of the lawsuit.

Chambers told local media he filed the suit to make a point about frivolous lawsuits frequently seen in US courts, citing a recent one against a judge.

He asked the court to award him an unspecified summary judgment against God, or, in the alternative, issue a permanent injunction against God engaging in the damaging acts cited in the filing.

Neither God nor his/her spokespersons could be contacted for comment.

I suppose its right. If God is cited in legal and insurance documents as causing disasters the n by all reason he is recognised and can have a chage brought against him. If he dosn't turn up then judgement and costs will be awarded against him or the legal system shown to be a ass by citing him in their documents in the first place.Wherefore, you can sue the legal system for negligence in their system.

junie
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<item>
<title>Hot and Steamy ...........Selling On Ebay</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=71760</link>
<pubDate>16-SEP-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Does this boil your cuppa?
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<item>
<title>Ha Ha Ha</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=71900</link>
<pubDate>17-SEP-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
A woman follows her husband 
A woman followed her husband to the public house. &quot;How can you come here,&quot; she said, taking a sip of his pint of Guinness, &quot;and drink that awful stuff?&quot; 

&quot;Now!&quot; he cried, &quot;And you always said I was out enjoying meself.&quot; 

Classic - lol
Junie
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Ebay</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=71800</link>
<pubDate>16-SEP-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
What was the last few items you got off Ebay. Any wierd or interesting things?

Mine
Book - Battle For the Mind by William Sargent. Excellent book on brain washing techniques and how the basic psychological principles help understand all mental breakdown. 1950s but still a classic.

Cordless Telephone - as mine had broke. Seller over charged me on postage. I opted for the Insured parcel rate and he did not use it. it got lost in the post and took two weeks to find. He now has a negative message and he ahs e-mailed me to remove it. i said it is on condition of reimbursement of the xtra postage and insurance. No response so teh comment remains.

DVD Arthur of the Britons. Pure indulgence. Children's drama 1971 with Oliver Tobias and Michael Gothard as Michael Gothard gave me my first hormone rush. Didn't know it was on dvd somewhere. just shows you can find all things on Ebay. Haha 1970s British hairstyles on Ancient Britons. Arthur speaking in a very posh English Public school accent. almost expected him to break out the tea and crumpets.

Junie
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<item>
<title>Father Ted</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=71780</link>
<pubDate>16-SEP-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Do you get this comedy in America. The irreverent comedy about the catholic Priests Ted Dougal and father Jack on Craggy Island?

Its being repeated again on channel4 over here. Can't get enough of the wicked sense of humour. The church doesn't like it. But any Irish Catholic can tell you the characters are soo true.
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Growing Older</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=71761</link>
<pubDate>16-SEP-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
- Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. 

- There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory. I forget the other two. 

- You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. 

- Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work. 

- Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn't that a bad time for a guy to get those odds? 

- You know you're getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you. 

- Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired. 

- By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. 

- Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle. 

- A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police. 

- You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise. 


Junie
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Scare Mongerers  - I FKNG HATE THESE PEOPLE!!!</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=71480</link>
<pubDate>14-SEP-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
I am sure all BKrs being bikers have more brains and cynicsm in their pants. But I got this in my e-mail post. A christian  &quot;prophet&quot; declaring the end times and America's destruction and billions dead will be in 2008. Gee do we still have time to read a book. I am sure many will be selling their shares and houses and moving out to the desert. Of course you have to buy the rest of the book to find out. Can't be that urgent a prophesy from God if the priority is to make money from the book sales first.  Read the rest. Its just makes me angry and a lot of people will be drawn in and affected by this crap and will still be here the day after. Like teh JWs and 7 Day Adventists keep predicting the end time. Never mind one day they will be right. He's probably written the sequel which will be released in 2009.

Looked up End Time prophesies there have been hundreds through history nearly one for every year.

Junie

2008 - God's Final Witness
From now to the latter part of 2008 the seven thunders in teh book of revelation will be fulfilled. (YAWN!!!!Sorry that's me Attention everyone. Sit up.)

Some of these prophecies concern the demise of the United States over the next two years, which will be followed by man's final world war. This last war will be the result of clashing religions and the governments they sway. Billions will die! This time will far exceed even the very worst times in all human history.

As these events unfold, the world will increasingly become aware of the authenticity of the words in this book and realize that Ronald Weinland has been sent by God as His end-time prophet.

This book is primarily directed to the people of the three major religions of the world (Islam, Judaism and Christianity), whose roots are in the God of Abraham. Ronald Weinland has been sent to all three.

Get me a gun and ler me shoot this person. He is going to do more destruction to some vulnerable people than any bloody war.

Ju
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Women ARE EVIL!!!!</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=71220</link>
<pubDate>12-SEP-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Ok gentlemen this is your chance to say how evil the women have been in your life.

Here in England we have the football/soccer season including the European rounds. Everytime England and Germany matches are a re-run of WWI and WWII on the pitch. A must with every telly on and every true blooded Englishman glued to his set at home or in the pub.

Except for one guy on my rounds who came to the door. &quot;I hear Germany is 2 up.&quot; I said. &quot;What should I know?&quot; He said with a resigned look on his face. &quot;The wife's got us watching Big Brother&quot; (rolling his eyes) He went back in full of sadness a broken Englishman. You may fight them on the beaches you may fight them on the streets and an Englishman will never never be defeated until the wife says so.

How evil have the women been in your lives? Past ones of course. the one's you are with are complete Angels.

Have met men whose women have made them give up fishing, football, their job, their bike (yikes!!) and even their own family to be exclusive. OK you have to adapt but surely somethings are sacred.
Junie
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>BK Success Stories???</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=71100</link>
<pubDate>11-SEP-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Have you checked out the &quot;Success Stories&quot; that appear when you first log in? Are they a set up? They don't make sense. Or are too good to be real. &quot;Schenectady&quot; (can't find in personal search) USA has a few. One has found a &quot;Hunka Chunka Pink Scooter man&quot; and another Schenectady is looking for a long nailed blonde. The stories just don't read &quot;for real&quot; Either someone is having some fun or BK is messing about.

What's your opinion?

Junie
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>THINK...........On All Things Lovely</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=70520</link>
<pubDate>09-SEP-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
You are today where your thoughts have brought you   

You will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you 

Phil 4:8-9   Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-- think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received which is good put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. 

Perhaps it is because of our nature, but it is easy to think of bad things, and much harder to think of good things.

Our worlds are filled with ugliness and sin, just like the rest of the world. We must choose to be our own &quot;Net Watchers&quot; or we will be sucked into the cesspool as well. You can't play in a sewer and come out smelling good. Choose carefully what you think about. 

Junie

Choice. Your body, soul and mind goes where your head goes. Two men looked out of a prison cell. One looked down and saw mud. The other looked up and saw the sky. Each was immediately affected by what he saw.  Look Up or Look Down. Your choice.
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<item>
<title>Whataboutbob99</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=68160</link>
<pubDate>29-AUG-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
What a Cutie. I like this one. Only 5'6&quot; could fit in my pocket and carry him around all day. Would fit under the stairs. Looks like he  could be cheeky and could be fun. I wonder if he comes with batteries supplied?

What's your opinion?

Junie
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Are You.......Turning Into Your Mother</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=67480</link>
<pubDate>26-AUG-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Despite your greatest efforts, Are you turning into your mother?

Norman need not apply

Junie
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<item>
<title>HAZARD WARNING</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=67340</link>
<pubDate>26-AUG-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
.
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<item>
<title>I May Be Away For Sometime</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=66561</link>
<pubDate>22-AUG-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
I may be away for sometime. i have just indulged myself into buying the 3 box set of a English Romantic Comedy Series from the 90s called &quot;Love Hurts&quot; with Zoe Wannamaker and Adam Faith. There are 3 series each with ten full one hour episodes. This adds up to over 30 hrs of pure indulgent pleasure. Charming, real characters, enjoyable tender but conflicts and tension. and no one has killed each other with a machette or machine gun or fckd each other horribly or used foul language in the first few minutes. Infact nowhere in the whole series.

Don't know about you, but i need this. When's the last time you saw something worth watching without gratuitous violences, sx and swearing to carry the action along and keep up interest?

Junie
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>DANKILLERJOKER'S BLOG</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=66780</link>
<pubDate>23-AUG-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Dear DKB,

When things go tits up and there is obvious discord between certain mEmberS we create a blog where the differences can be argued and fought out so as to  keep off ruining everyone else blogs and also means others can avoid it adn any negativity or animosity if they don't want to read.

It may have come slow to your comprehension but in a short space of time, you have annoyed and alienated everyone including the most patient, undertanding and supportive members of BK and if anyone gets on the wrong side of Redsunset and Demo and Teach and Windinheather (Are you going for some Guiness Book of Record Acheivement) As you have created such animosity and reaction in such a short space of time then surely the problem cannot be with everyone else. ITS WITH YOU!!

This blog has bee created so everyone can say what they want but keep it off the other blogs. 
Please keep your comments and responses to this blog until you get to know people and know blog etiquette. We don't want every other blog going tits up because of you.

Here's your chance to SORT IT 

Junie
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>GOOD WIFE  2007</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=66540</link>
<pubDate>22-AUG-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
1. HAVE DINNER READY: Make reservations ahead of time. If your day becomes too hectic just leave him a voice mail message regarding where you'd like to eat and at what time. This lets him know that your day has been bad and gives him an opportunity to change your mood.

2.  PREPARE YOURSELF: Make sure to change out of your work clothes into something comfortable.  Who cares if he likes it or not, after all, it's most likely his T-shirt and boxers.

3.  CLEAR AWAY CLUTTER: Yeah right!  Tell the kids and your husband if they want maid service, they better call one!

4.  PREPARE THE CHILDREN: Send the children to their rooms to watch television or play with their Play Stations.

5.  MINIMIZE THE NOISE: Yell to him over the loud music your kids are playing, that this is what you had to put up with while he was gone. And mention that it was his decision to buy the kids a new CD player in the first place.

6.  SOME DON'TS: Don't greet him with problems and complaints. Let him speak first, and then your complaints will get more attention and remain fresh in his mind throughout dinner. Don't complain if he's late for dinner, simply
remind him that the leftovers are in the fridge and you left the dishes for him to do.

7.  MAKE HIM COMFORTABLE: Tell him where he can find a blanket if he's cold. This will really show you care.

8.  LISTEN TO HIM: But don't ever let him get the last word.

9.  MAKE THE EVENING HIS: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or other places of entertainment; go with a friend or go shopping (use his credit card).  Familiarize him with the phrase &quot;Girls' Night Out!&quot;

10.  THE GOAL: Try to keep things amicable without reminding him that he only thinks the world revolves around him.  Obviously he's wrong, it revolves around you. 


Junie

Zoe Trains Her husband
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>GOOD WIFE GUIDE 1955</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=66541</link>
<pubDate>22-AUG-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Actual Instructions from Household Weekly Mag 1955
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</item>
<item>
<title>Take A Hike</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=65620</link>
<pubDate>18-AUG-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
I liked walking and could regularly hike for 20 miles a day. Up hill and down dale in all weathers. But I have had these kind of people as companions.

Hiker's Comments 
A wilderness area asked hikers to fill out comment cards. These are actual comments left by hikers: 

- Trail needs to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill. 

- Too many bugs and leaches and spiders and spider webs. 
Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests. 

- Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow during the winter. 

- Chairlifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them. 

- The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals. 

- A small deer came into my camp and stole my jar of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? 

- Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike at night with flashlights. 

- Escalators would help on steep uphill sections. 

- Need more signs to keep area pristine. 

- A McDonalds would be nice at the trailhead. 

- The places where trails do not exist are not well marked. 

- I brought lots of sandwich makings, but forgot bread. If you have extra bread, leave it in the yellow tent at V Lake. 

- Too many rocks in the mountains. 


Junie

Loch Lomond, Scotland I've seen this view from the top.
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Why Are People Stupid?</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=63120</link>
<pubDate>08-AUG-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
In England we have just got a new scare of foot and mouth disease in Surrey. May be caused by carelessnes at a local laboratory.

But farms and footpaths around the area have been blocked off. No transporting of Animals and all footpaths closed and the beginning of culling of animals.  Big Tapes blocking the area and footpaths and BIG Signs over them. It is literaly passed on through the air and by getting the mud on your wellies and clothes. Very infectious. Trying to contain it to the intiial area. Police said they had put the signs and tape up when a wealthy middle class family on bikes with young children came cycling through to the contaminated area. Just raised the tapes and carried on regardless. Looked like the wealthy intelligent eco type cycling family. STUPID!!!

2nd out break. Last in 2001. Horrible. millions of cattle and sheep and pigs killed and burnd in huge bonfires.Which blackened the sky across the whole of Britain. Quite a few farmers killed themselves. They got compensation but money doesn't replace the hard work and watching all the animals being killed. 

God Bless the Farmers. Not apreciated. Think they should stop and let us and the city types starve. Might appreciate them then.

Job is 24/7 365 days a year. No holidays and no sick pay. and no time off in leu.

Junie
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Who's the Laziest?</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=62900</link>
<pubDate>07-AUG-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Who's the laziest person you know.

My Uncle Vic was waited on hand and foot at home. We just didn't realise just how bad.

He came to stay and we left him to go to work in the morning. Showed him where the kitchen and all the facilites were and left him to it. 6pm we got back. &quot;Thank God your here. I'm starving and not had a drink all day.&quot; We asked why he didn't just go in the kitchen and help himself to a drink or even water and what was in teh fridge and mocrowave meals.

He said he didn't believe in doing any of that. It was someone elses job to look after him. Not even make himself a cup of tea.

(Inpsired by Demo note &quot;Put the beer on the floor where i can reach it&quot; &quot;Where would you like your beer dear? Over your head or shoved up your a$$ followed with the bottle opener.&quot;)

Junie
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>God I Look Good!!!</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=62120</link>
<pubDate>03-AUG-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
See the diet is working. My profile picture already looks better and ten times sexier. Think I'll keep the new look. Why spoil it by putting a picture up. Also got rid of the headache lol

Junie
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<item>
<title>Problem Solving</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=60600</link>
<pubDate>29-JUL-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
How do you get things which have fallen down radiators which have closed sides and are too naroow to really be able to look down and see what you are doing. That is if you can find something which will get hold of the thing.

I was tidying (always a bad idea) and put the  floppy disk with the musical &quot;Hastings Rock&quot; or The Big Bad Biker's Better Bigger Ball on the radiator.

I hoovered enthusiastically then saw the floppy flip down the back of the radiator. I have tried hoops of wire and tying cellotape and blue tack onto sticks. Both have fallen off.

Any ideas? This has got to be a common problem that someone has already found a solution to.

Junie
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Goodness</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=60560</link>
<pubDate>29-JUL-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Saw this and thought it so true

Junie
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Bloody Mechanics</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=60080</link>
<pubDate>27-JUL-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Just to remind you to check the real &quot;cost&quot; of parts has saved me hundreds at a time.

Well the car wont start and diagnosed as needs a new distributor. Not a cheap thing. Mechanics quoted me 400+ pounds just for the part. I just say OK. Then ring round the car part people myself and got one for 200 pounds. Then phoned the mechanic back to tell him the good news. He sounded SOOO pleased when I told him :((Stunned and caught on the hop more like)

Bloody mechanics. I also do the same with builders. Get the quote then ring round finding out the true cost of things. Cut the cost of a small wall down by 600 pounds. Building suppliers asked if I was building Buckingham Palace the amount of stuff he said he needed. Building supplies just cost 80 pounds.

Also, I don't know about you. But within minutes of turning up and opening the bonnet he is asking me all kinds of personal qustions. Then giving me unsolicited advice about my private life whether i want it or not.

How on earth can you just say &quot;Shut up and just concentrate on what's going on under the bonnet&quot; without losing the mechanic (who is the only one you could find on a late Friday afternoon) or him getting shirty and hiking the price up. 

Surprised he didn't ask what size knickers I wore &quot;Bloody Big Ones!!&quot;

Don't know about you but I really don't ask any personal questions until I actually know someone and certainly wouldn't pass unsolicited comment on someone's private life. How many women have been made to feel it is a crime to be single by some workman they hardly even know. Why am I single? I don't know. Can't put my finger on it......

Junie
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Hardest Part of Being a Seeing eye Dog</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=59722</link>
<pubDate>26-JUL-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
.
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<item>
<title>Towel Dry</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=59721</link>
<pubDate>26-JUL-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Boudreaux married an attractive woman, Lola, who was half his age. After several months, Lola complained that she had never climaxed during sex; and, according to her Grandma, all Cajun women are entitled to a climax once in a while. So, to resolve the problem, they went to see the large-animal Vet, Thibodeaux, since there was no trustworthy doctor anywhere in Carencro.



Thibodeaux didn't have a clue, but he did recall how, during the hot summer, his Mother and Dad would fan a cow that was having any difficulty birthing a calf to cool her down and make her struggles easier. So, Thibodeaux told them to hire a strong, virile, young man to wave a towel over them while they were having sex. This, Thibodeaux said, would cause the young wife to climax.

Thus, the couple hired a young man from the big city of Baton Rouge to wave a towel over them as Thibodeaux suggested. After many efforts, still no climax.





They went back to Thibodeaux. This time Thibodeaux said for Lola to change partners and let the young man have sex with her while Boudreaux waved the towel.

They tried it that night, and Lola went into wild, screaming, ear-splitting climaxes, one after the other. 

When it was over, Boudreaux smugly looked down at the young man and said, &quot;Ya see, city slicker, now THAT's how ya wave da towel!&quot;

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>What Do You Want Out Of Life?</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=59720</link>
<pubDate>26-JUL-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
A teacher asked her class, &quot;What do you want out of life?&quot;

A little girl in the back row raised her hand and said, 
&quot;All I want out of life is four little animals.&quot;

The teacher asked,
&quot;Really and what four little animals would that be sugar?&quot;

The little girl said, &quot;A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, 
a tiger in the bed and a jackass to pay for all of it.&quot; 

Junie
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Any Tree Huggers Out There?</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=59680</link>
<pubDate>26-JUL-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
.
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Redneck 911</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=59640</link>
<pubDate>26-JUL-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
couple of redneck hunters are out in
the woods when one of them falls to the ground. 
He doesn't seem to be breathing
and his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other redneck starts to panic, then
whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

He frantically blurts out to the operator,
&quot;O my gawd! Help! My friend just died.
He's Dead! What can I do?&quot;

The operator, trying to calm him says, 
&quot;Take it easy. I can help. 
Just listen to me and follow my instructions. 
First, lets make sure he's dead.&quot;
There's a short pause, and then the operator hears a loud gun shot!!!

The redneck comes back on the line and says, &quot;OK, now what?&quot;

Junie
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Old Not Slow</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=58720</link>
<pubDate>23-JUL-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
The old farmer had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely with picnic tables, a barbecue pit, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.  The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. 

One evening, the old guy decided to go down to the pond and look it over. He hadn't been there for a while.  He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. 

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.  As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. As he approached, he made the women aware of his presence. 

At once, they all went to the deep end. 

One of the women shouted to him, &quot;We're not coming out until you leave.&quot; 

The old man frowned, &quot;I did not come down here to watch you young ladies swim 
naked, or to make you get out of the pond naked.&quot; 

Holding up the bucket, he said, &quot;I'm here to feed the alligator.&quot; 

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>YOU'LL LIKE THIS!!!</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=57040</link>
<pubDate>17-JUL-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
A vandal in England has added this Chalk figure to the famous Pagan naked Giant Cerne Abbas.  Some don't see it as funny. But I think it is all good hilarious fun....
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Stating the Obvious</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=58100</link>
<pubDate>21-JUL-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Well. I have been serious about detoxing and getting me back in shape again and in just two weeks I have lost ten pounds, my a$$ is firm and round and at the top of my legs where it should be. I feelbright and springy and lots of energy. And it is true the more I eat proper food with good nutrition the less I want to eat junk. Finished late last night near midnight. Usually i would feel right to reward myself with some kind of take away or junk. Although busy day and had not eaten since 4pm (Orange juice and panini with goats cheese and olives) I just didn't fancy anything. I was still feeling OK and not hungry and still awake not tired at all.

Looking good. Feeling fit. Right Where's that Man?

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>OI!!! BIGMOUTH!!!</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=57840</link>
<pubDate>20-JUL-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Knew ya name. didn't ya!!!lol

Now look at the cute little piccies.

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>PRICK!!</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=57401</link>
<pubDate>18-JUL-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
True Story:

Man needed surgery after sex with hedgehog 

A Serbian man needed emergency surgery after he had sex with a hedgehog on a witchdoctor's advice.

Zoran Nikolovic, 35, from Belgrade, says the witchdoctor told him it would cure his premature ejaculation.

But he ended up in an operating theatre after the hedgehog's needles left his penis severely lacerated.

A hospital spokesman said: &quot;The animal was apparently unhurt and the patient came off much worse from the encounter. We have managed to repair the damage to his penis.&quot;

Well Done. Leave little old Mrs Tiggywinkles alone you pervert.

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Hi IQ</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=56440</link>
<pubDate>14-JUL-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Loan Arithmitic 
Little Johnny was being questioned by the teacher during an arithmetic lesson. 'If you had ten dollars,' said the teacher, 'and I asked you for a loan of eight dollars, how much would you have left?' 

'Ten,' said Little Johnny firmly. 

'Ten?' the teacher said 'How do you make it ten?' 

'Well,' replied Little Johnny 'You may ask for a loan of eight dollars, but that doesn't mean you'll get it!'

&quot;That's My Boy!!&quot;

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Translate PLEASE!!!</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=56140</link>
<pubDate>12-JUL-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
I seem to have got an upsurge in crap mail recently. But I defy anyone to translate the following which come with a pharmaceutical ad.

&quot;No, I faithfully don't think spoil that. I know stomach you become don't love me.&quot; &quot;Who, increase in the name of what shade Law, soap would think of disputing my full personal right broken over the fortnight of &quot;And enough written of this. By the time I have got so between glove far in the reading replace of my document the sun will be up
 
&quot;Oh, porter if you basket helpless verse could know all!&quot; &quot;I DID suspect him. When scorch soft copy I woke up at half-past seven and tore my hair in despair for drink my loss and ca fed &quot;Oh! it's not a side great matter to guess who told envious her. A thief! A thief beg in our family, and the head of tame act &quot;No, no--prince, not now! Now is a dream! And it time is front too, too important! It is to be the hour of Fate
&quot;Well, damaged in a couple of days interest I warm was known all over the palace and careful the Kremlin as 'le petit boyard.' I o &quot;I-I,&quot; town the general continued to knee whisper, clinging more and more suspect tightly to cut the boy's shoulder. &quot;I--w milk &quot;I do not wish to quarrel with them about this; in some things eventually they broadcast hilly won't be reasonable. I always di In point card of fact pray it is quite pump possible that destroy the matter would have ended in a very commonplace and nat They walked silently, and said scarcely a word water all chess the way. He only noticed that she jam warmly seemed to know Evgenie called upon the prince the day curved after page that on which the plastic Epanchins left whistle Pavlofsk. He knew of a
cheerfully cake A couple of days later, however, Hippolyte's mother came save with tears in her eyes, and suggest begged the prin blot WHEN the widow hurried away to addition Pavlofsk, she went moon straight to Daria Alexeyevna's fork house, and telling ...
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>BK Detox and Diet</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=55520</link>
<pubDate>10-JUL-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
OK. Anyone want to join me in  a detox and getting back to a healthier diet and regime.

I have been inconsistent with diet and excercise again and the weight has crept up.

Today
Weight 13Stone 
Bust 38E. 
waist 32, 
hips/bum 42 (Too much sitting down)
Hair eyes and skin dull and lifeless (need doggy drops)

AM Lemon + Hot Water Veg smoothie
Cup of tea to avoid headaches when detoxing
Lunch prawn sandwich with salad and dill and lime dressing.
4pm Spinach watercress and celery home made soup.

I do like this stuff just get lazy because of the prep needed.

No gym went and bought 2 pairs of shoes instead (OK OK!!One pair was some new trainers. That counts doesn't it??)

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Easy Rider</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=55501</link>
<pubDate>10-JUL-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Research carried out by AA Insurance reveals a growing trend for grey haired bikers. More than a fifth of female motorcylcists are over 60. Having a hobby or a purposeful activity is vital for our health as we get older. It also combats depression, enhances self-esteem and keeps you feeling young and invigorated.

So what are you waiting for? Pull on your elathers and ride off into your golden years.

(From &quot;Healthy Magazine&quot; July 2007)

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Bekching Cows Destroying the Ozone Layer</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=55441</link>
<pubDate>10-JUL-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
STOP THE WORLD SUMMIT. BREAKING :? NEWS - LITERALLY

Cows could be doing more damage to the environment than four-wheel-drive cars, scientists have warned.

Methane emissions from cattle account for a quarter of the gas in our air and researchers are trying to find a new way to feed cattle which leads to less belching.

He told a briefing on farming and climate change at London's Science Media Centre that this could open up plant-based solutions as alternatives to reducing stock as farmers look for ways to cut methane emissions amid warming climates.

Mr Abberton said the average dairy cow belches out about 100 to 200 litres of methane each day, making diet changes a key potential factor in reducing this greenhouse gas.

&quot;There is a common misperception about how methane gets into the atmosphere,&quot; he said. &quot;It is actually through belching rather than the other end,&quot; he said.

So nothing to do with the 20 pints and a bloody hot curry on  a Saturday Night in towns across the world and millions of fellas bottoms burping under the cover as they hold the wife's head down

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>ORDER!! ORDER!!!</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=55440</link>
<pubDate>10-JUL-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
LONDON (AFP) - A female Muslim juror has been arrested in Britain after allegedly listening to an MP3 player under her hijab headscarf during a murder trial, police said Monday.

(Advertisement)
The woman in her early 20s was spotted by a fellow juror listening to music as she was meant to be helping try the case of a pensioner accused of bludgeoning his wife to death after 50 years of marriage.

She could now be charged with contempt of court and, if convicted, may be punished with an indefinite jail sentence and an unlimited fine.

BLOODY CHEEk!!!

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Allergies</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=55300</link>
<pubDate>09-JUL-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
ANY ALLERGY SUFFERERS OUT THERE??

After breaking out in lumpy spots and blotches and looking like a dot to dot picture - just use biro. I have to come to the conlusion again (Which i keep forgetting) that I must be allergic to bananas.A few thin slices on the bran and that's it. So much for healthy eating. i'll go back to the toasted sausage sandwiche. Never have the same problem with a healthy dollop of congelled saturated fat.

Any more allergy sufferers out there?
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>LOVE or INTELLIGENCE</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=55280</link>
<pubDate>09-JUL-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
What do you build your life and relationships and choices on? LOVE or INTELLIGENCE.

I have had this conversation with fellow girlfriends. With the Cry and Call that I am a Cold Hearted Bitch with No Heart and No Passion. But I always base my claim that LOVE should be based on INTELLIGENCE.

We all have an intial DESIRE and we should as we need to be atracted to what we are attracted to. But do you then throw yourself on the winds and whims of love and desire. Or do you also stand back and have a good look at what you have got with a cool brain?

What goes around keeps going arouns and nothing new is under the Sun. If you have a liar, or alcoholic or drug taker or manipulator that is what you have got. In a crisis. Is he/she the type to blame and attack everyone else, accuse you, self blame and go into a self pitying spiral or is he the type to look at the problem , can discuss anything, work to find  a solution, has self awareness and understanding of feelings? (They do exist)

What are his relationship type with other people. because I tell you this. If he is awkward or nasty to others he/she does not get on with. That is how he/she is going to be with you when things go wrong. Its not how he/she acts when things are right and cosy. Its how do they act when things are not right and go wrong?

Do you have a talked out plan about what you do when things go wrong or not talking? Be allowed to ask for time out. Give time out. Promise to phone or text next day. Agree to met when your mind is calmer and you have thought things through. 

I have been called a Cold Hearted Bitch. But I have not had the problems that other gfs have had because I had my tick list at the beginning as to what I would not let in my life and I also sit down and talk about what tO do when things go wrong before they go wrong.Meanwhile the gfs are undertanding, empathising, excusing, and choosing to live with behaviours I would never have in my house.

LOVE OR INTELLIGENC
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Level of Decency</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=54000</link>
<pubDate>03-JUL-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Now I am not one to be fazed or amazed or even mildly shocked by the antics and need to lie of men.

But I do wonder whether there actually is any level of sense of decency in any.

Just had several weeks of a weedy looking bloke I am working with me telling me how not all men are the same blah blah blah. He looked so insignificant I did not think anything of it. usual bs.

Then I found out from his son that his tales of woe never happened. That he had cheated on their mother several times. But the cream - or the crap - is that there mother died this year. Which of course was upsetting (kids are young teen and all work to contribute) but that he had moved his mistress into the family home within days of their mother dying. When they said how they felt he upt and left the kids totally on their own to grive and manage alone. The kids are now talking to me about things and stuff and life etc. 

He looks such a little insignificant smuck who said how he had sacrificed all for family and kids etc etc.

If I hear on more &quot;I'm not the same as other men&quot; I'll down the next guy who says it.

Not as fazed or suprised as some but still despair at times.  I think of all the times that i see women care and sacrifice and &quot;understand&quot; and the guy is just not worth it. Not an ounce.

Staying on my own and only sending out for the odd delivery now and again but there is no room for any feet under my table
this century.

Don't know how many kids I have brought up and counselled and taught who are not mine.

PS Godchild has turned out a treasure. very proud. She is smart but no fool even at 19

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Miss July Where Are You</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=54940</link>
<pubDate>07-JUL-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Where is our new model of the month? Its nearly a week into July and no fresh new talent.Is that it for the throng of volunteers eager to ply their wares and voluptous smiles to the minnions?

TTT its time to step up to the plate.

Nominate your own July Model of the Month. Could be your mother, your sister, the local fireman, someone famous or your golden labreador retriever.  Nominations and suggestions wanted.

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Tell Me...</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=55020</link>
<pubDate>07-JUL-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Would you be a saggarmaker's bottom knocker?

Answer please before the buzzer. no confering and no google searching.

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>DISGUSTING!!!</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=54020</link>
<pubDate>03-JUL-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
You may have heard, or it may now be so common it is only local news.

But the toddle below Casey Leigh Mullens aged just two years old,was raped and murdered by her own 21 year old Uncle while the rest of the family was down stairs. he then left the house to leave the mum to go upstairs and find her daughter dead with blood comming out of her ears nose and mouth. He ahd been watching web child porn and murder just before.

He has been sentenced to 35 yrs. Too long. Saddam got less.

I like many find it abhorrent that what was once a unthinkable crime on a toddler by anyone, never mind her own uncle is now commonly seen and understood and  entertainment on the internet. Within a decad the values of our nations have been completely overturned. Lets not Dare call ourselves Christian.

The govt argues that it cannot police the internet where these ideas come from. But that is bollocks. Every website has an address and account details. So these people can be tracked down. Also i find that many countries all over the world actively stop certain web content from entering the country. Why can't we do that? They are argue that website paedo stuff will just go under ground. and it is anti freedom. But now when everyone can access such sick stuff many men who would not think otherwise now see such behaviour as normal - or as someone said to me the other day &quot;Its OK as long as it is not smoeone you know&quot;  Can all who care please STAND UP!!! actively oppose and get their rep and govt to oppose the wide spread acceptance and potrayal of abuse of women and chidlren and little babies as normal. 

Please help turn back the tide before it is too late and this is what is normal.I don't care if anyone dislikes and argues with me. This will always be more important. So get off your bikes. Put your beer and bong down and e-mail or write to your rep, newspapers n govt to actively turn back the tide and stop these images.

Casey - A Beautiful Baby
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>In The Post Office</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=52820</link>
<pubDate>29-JUN-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing Love stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. 

His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. 

The man says, I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, Guess who? 

But why? asks the man. 

I'm a divorce lawyer, the man replies. 


Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Crabbit Old Woman</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=51101</link>
<pubDate>23-JUN-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Inspired by BattyBird's Blog. This well-known poem. No one feels old inside but the way we look outside affects how other's see us. I dread that time. Inside i am a KICKA$$ Female. But I get called &quot;Dear&quot; and have my arm patted and my food cut up.  I'm sure even then I'll think how to get my own back.

&quot;Crabbit Old Woman&quot; 

What do you see, what do you see? 
Are you thinking, when you look at me- 
A crabbit old woman, not very wise, 
Uncertain of habit, with far-away eyes, 
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply 
When you say in a loud voice, 
I do wish you'd try. 
Who seems not to notice the things that you do 
And forever is loosing a stocking or shoe. 
Who, unresisting or not; lets you do as you will 
With bathing and feeding the long day is fill. 
Is that what you're thinking, 
Is that what you see? 
Then open your eyes, 
nurse, you're looking at me. 
I'll tell you who I am as I sit here so still! 
As I rise at your bidding, as I eat at your will. 
I'm a small child of 10 with a father and mother, 
Brothers and sisters, who loved one another- 
A young girl of 16 with wings on her feet, 
Dreaming that soon now a lover she'll meet, 
A bride soon at 20- my heart gives a leap, 
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep. 
At 25 now I have young of my own 
Who need me to build a secure happy home; 
A woman of 30, my young now grow fast, 
Bound to each other with ties that should last; 
At 40, my young sons have grown and are gone, 
But my man's beside me to see I don't mourn; 
At 50 once more babies play around my knee, 
Again we know children, my loved one and me. 
Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead, 
I look at the future, I shudder with dread, 
For my young are all rearing young of their own. 
And I think of the years and the love that I've known; 
I'm an old woman now and nature is cruel- 
Tis her jest to make old age look like a fool. 
The body is crumbled, grace and vigor depart, 
There is now a stone where I once had a heart, 
But inside this old carcass, a young girl still dwells, 
And now and again my battered heart swells, 
I remember the joy, I remember the pain, 
And I'm loving and living life over again. 
I think of the years all too few- gone too fast. 
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last- 
So open your eyes, nurse, open and see, 
Not a crabbit old woman, look closer- 
See Me. 

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Men on Men Violence</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=51300</link>
<pubDate>24-JUN-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Ok.

Putting together a site to promote safety. Also has lots of information and safety tips.  I can find lots on women and women's safety and adressing the ideas behind abuse towards women.

Can't find anything about male on male violence. The fact is the greatest number of attacks and murder is between males with male on male attacks and violence. But this has been left out of research unless it is by academics who ponder and write from afar.  As the world is getting rough and tge average decent man still wants to go out at night and be safe Can you guys give me some idea as to what goes on in guys and what is actually happening from the inside.

I know you all have extra aggressive and sexual hormones and watching I have seen guys act like a pack or square up and next its all in.

I would like you guys to give me some way of understanding and also how the normal guy can predict it, avoid it or challenge the idea in his own community.

Would be very grateful for any inside understanding. I also swear there is a Rutting season for male humans where it is fight night on every corner and an incident every second.

At one time man used to think of himself as being made in the image of God and try pursing coming that image. Now he is happy to develop becoming an animal. Looking to develop a rewind.

I WANT IT FROM THE STREET AND THE MEN WHO KNOW NOT FROM THE MEN WHO WRITE BOOKS and have a hissy fit if someone farts at the table.

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Blue Collar Men Despised</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=51020</link>
<pubDate>23-JUN-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
I have just come out of a meeting hopping MAD and I nearly blew getting what I had gone there for.  I am raising awareness for safety in taxis both for drivers and passengers. Have collected a short local survey and even in a  small town the incidents of abuse is incredible. Lots of interest and support of my idea. Raising the profile of the taxi driver and challenging the assumptions about them and tackling inappropriate taxi drivers by having an on-line feedback form so if several passengers idenify an inappropriate taxi driver it is easier to remove him than on a one by one basis.
 
But I find a lot of people even in &quot;caring&quot; and PC roles dismiss and disregard the need for safety for the common working man and see him as a subspecies.  Just been in a meeting to get free leaflets and publicity and the middle class intellectual twit said lots and lots of things about the common working man (MY MEN YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT THERE!! GRRRRrrrr!!!) referred to my men as &quot;These People&quot; or &quot;These kind of people can never understand&quot; &quot;These people need to be TAUGHT&quot; and about tackling men on men violence &quot;Well these people are nothing but Primates&quot;  I pointed out ever so politely the discrimination he just said &quot;Well I don't HAVE TO help you these people afterall are NOTHING to me.&quot; and demanded an apology for offending him. He didn't get one but took several sentences to get him back on track and getting some free cards and leaflets and publicity.

I just felt so ENRAGED that the common working man who is afterall to me my brother, father uncles and friends are still nothing but a lower kind of species to some who's safety rights and wellbeing can be disregarded and dismissed so easily.  I may argue with my men and take striped off them but still feel very loving and loyal to them. and very protective.

Fcking Stuck-up Toffey Nosed Twit

I hope he never has a crisis and needs someone. If someone thumps him in the street I think I'll walk past.  Just gets me upset.

OK Moaning Mission Over. but is there anyone else out there who thinks the common working man and woman who is the backbone of every country is due RESPECT. 

I am an intellectual and professional now and can talk the crap when needed but my heart is still in my grassroots. Working men are more sexy anyway. They have more &quot;push&quot; in their buttocks than those who sit in chairs all day.

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Hug A Tree</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=50700</link>
<pubDate>22-JUN-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
.
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>The &quot;Truth&quot; At Last......</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=50060</link>
<pubDate>20-JUN-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
.
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Time for another Blonde Joke</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=50500</link>
<pubDate>21-JUN-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
A blonde who suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her goes out and 
buys 
a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly, opens the door, and, 
sure 
enough, finds him naked in the arms of a redhead. Well, now she?s 
angry. 
She opens her purse and takes out the gun. But as she does so, she is 
overcome with grief and points the gun at her own head. 

The boyfriend yells, &quot;No, honey, don?t do it.&quot; 

&quot;Shut up,&quot; she says. &quot;You?re next.&quot;

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>20 Dollars</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=49140</link>
<pubDate>18-JUN-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
20 Dollars 

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, 

to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door. 

&quot;Daddy, may I ask you a question?&quot; 

&quot;Yeah sure, what is it?&quot; replied the man. 

&quot;Daddy, how much do you make an hour?&quot; 

&quot;That's none of your business. 

Why do you ask such a thing?&quot; the man said angrily. 

&quot;I just want to know. 

Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?&quot; pleaded the little boy. 

&quot;If you must know, I make $20 an hour.&quot; 

&quot;Oh,&quot; the little boy replied, with his head down. 

Looking up, he said, &quot;Daddy, may I please borrow $10?&quot; 

The father was furious, &quot;If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, 

then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. 

Think about why you are being so selfish. 

I work long hard hours everyday and don't have time for such this childish behaviour.&quot; 

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. 

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. 

How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, 

and started to think: He may have been a little hard on his son. 

Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $10 and he really didn't ask for money very often. 

The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door. 

&quot;Are you asleep, son?&quot; He asked. 

&quot;No daddy, I'm awake,&quot; replied the boy. 

&quot;I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier,&quot; said the man, 

&quot;It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $10 you asked for.&quot; 

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 

&quot;Oh, thank you daddy!&quot; He yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. 

The man, seeing that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. 

The little boy slowly counted out his money, then looked up at his father. 

&quot;Why do you want more money if you already have some?&quot; the father grumbled. 

&quot;Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,&quot; the little boy replied. 

&quot;Daddy, I have $20 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? 

XXXXXXXXXX

I know when I was growing up Dad went out before we got up and often got back after we had gone to bed. He slept in on Saturdays and then went to the pub. Sundays we were sent off to Sunday School so he and mum could have some grown up time. When we got back he had gone on to do his &quot;hobbies&quot; bike, practicing in  a band and pub again. Only saw him at Sunday meal when we all had to sit quiet at the table.

Do you wonder why generations had problems with dads not knowing what to do for their families or how to have a relationship. But that was his relationship with his parents. When we were together he didn't have a clue. How many men have lived and worked their butt and health off providing and supprting home but never got a family out of it for themselves?

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>ANSWERS TO BLUEEYEDINJUN</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=48304</link>
<pubDate>14-JUN-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
As Blueeyed injun blocks any responses here's thechance to answer her blogs

Blog1 - PLAYED BY HORSE 
Dear BEJ you got dummped, You are more cuckoo than a cuckoo clock factory in Switzerland. Get over it. No one cares. You went out your way to fight for him even though nobody else was intersted. He didn't give a fuck about you. Sht happens. Surprised you didn't see it coming. Cuckoo Cuckoo Cuckoo.

Blog2 - Looking for an honorable, trustworthy man to keep me company.

Dear BEJ,
A honorable, trustworthy man would not come with in a fleas farting distance from you. You are a self-obsessed nutter. 

Blog 3 THE HORSE

Dear BEJ How much more horse mileage are you going to get out of this. Starting to smell like the other end of the horse. In fact I think the horse has bolted and you are just left with a big dump of Horseshit only you haven't realised and keep digging int he horse poo hoping to still find  the horse. The biggest and smelliest DUMP of it home made by yourself and you vast imagination and oversized ego.

Blog4 THE HORSE -N- I     Wouldn't you like to know?

Dear BEJ - NO!!! I'd rather read the New York telephone directory and watch the WALTONS  end to end and that is talking torture.

Blog5 IF YOU ARE READING THIS........ 

Deat BEJ, the only reason anyone is reading any of these is incase any make more sense or wondering what is keeping the nutter going. Talk about obsession. Go phone your local radio station and ask them to &quot;Play Misty&quot; for me.

Blog6  Dark Stranger... MR. (B_R_S_R_M 

Dear Stranger, stay right away from this one. Unless you are a psycho maniac who hates his mother and takes it out on other women. In that case we are right behind you. First her photos look good but don't match up and she is as obsessed and nutty as a fruit cake. She may look good but just try thinking Cathy Bates inside. Don't get sick in her house you might never leave.

Blog 7 GOING ON A TRIP! 

Dear BEJ, You have been on a trip without ever leaving the house or the sphere of your own psychotic wirlyverse for several months now. We are all following the Yellow Brick Rd with you but we have not even reached the outside of the consetric circles yet. Let us know when you get kidnapped by flying monkeys then we'll send instructions as to what to do with you.

If you have any problems with men or relationships or sexual infidelity. Please do us all a favour. Don't tell us. Just go home and FUCK YOURSELF.It will be a relief for you and a complete fucking holiday for the rest of us.

Oh Yes. Ride Safe Be Free and Keep your face in the wind of everyone else's a$$....or  somthing like that.

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Love to Dad</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=48820</link>
<pubDate>16-JUN-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Some time ago, a man punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he was furious when the child tried to decorate a box. 

Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, &quot;This is for you, Daddy.&quot; He was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again when he found the box was empty. 

He yelled at her,&quot;Don't you know when you give someone a present, there's supposed to be something inside it? The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, &quot;Oh, Daddy, it's not empty, I blew kisses into the box. All for you, Daddy.&quot;

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged for her forgiveness. 

An accident took the life of the child only a short time later and it is told that the man kept that gold box by his bed for many years and whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.

In a very real sense, each of us as humans have been given a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses from our children, friends, family or God. Even our pets!

There is no more precious possession anyone could hold than love.

How many times do we reject LOVE. Because it doesn't come in a package we approve of or in a way we would recognise. Just coming home and being there and not rising to our anger and tempers and disapointments is enough to show a person loves you. Yet you always throw that love away for something wrapped in a better packaging. There are many many invisible kisses thrown to you each day that you don't see.

Love the person you are with today. They may not be there tomorrow.

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Don't Eat At My House.</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=46900</link>
<pubDate>09-JUN-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
I am very busy and working on reports and setting up a website and various promotion ideas. So I set my dinner cooking in the kitchen thinking I will keep an idea on the time.

Well a couple of explosions later and my pan is burnt (remove by boiling porridge in it) and bits of boiled egg splattered everywhere. hard enough to knock a lines man out. I have had burnt broccoli, burnt casarol and burnt pasta this week. Even bought an egg timer and set it when  I work. Just ignore it and carry on working. Just one more sentence. just one more picture to touch. What's that burning?hy have they evacuated the building? Why is the |Fire service standing outside my flat?

I think they are going to pick me up and carry me over the shoulder just to stop me cooking.

I don't need a male I  need a manservant. Will post an ad in a &quot;Special&quot; mag tomorrow. Not a friend with benefits. Just a Slave with Benefits.

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Women's Bumper Stickers</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=46381</link>
<pubDate>03-JUN-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Here's Some Thoughts (Bat No19 makes me think of you (lol)

1. SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME. 

2. GOD MADE US SISTERS, PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS. 

3. IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING. 

4. MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS. 

5. PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES,SEEKS FROG. 

6. COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN. SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH. 

7. DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN 

8. IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN. 

9. DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF. 

10. I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN - AND I HAVE A GUN. 

11. GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO. BUT LIKE... WHO CARES? 

12. NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES 

13. AND YOUR POINT IS? 

14. WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT. 

15. OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.

16. DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN. 

17. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP. 

18. ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE. 

19. I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE. 

20. HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY? 
 
Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Rabble Rousing Agitator</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=45730</link>
<pubDate>29-MAY-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Well after over a year trying to raise the issue of safety in taxis and abusive taxis drivers and getting assaulted and persecuted over it it is at last taking off.  Now it has gone national.

I was raising local feedback. now women's groups. rape crisis lines and disabled groups and gay rights groups and lots of groups who suffered inappropriate behavior from taxi drivers are descending their e-mails on me. YIKES!! What have I started?. 

I designed a simple on line feedback form now I will never collate it if it is national. but it looks like that's where it is going. Loads of people sick of a govt regulated service treating the public badly.

Too much not sure I can handle this.

Junie

PS: Druggies gone from basement. Bye Bye.
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>School Reports</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=45400</link>
<pubDate>26-MAY-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
What the teacher says and (what the teacher means) 

1. Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering needed information from his classmates. 
(He was caught cheating on a test). 

2. Karen is an endless fund of energy and viability.
(The hyperactive monster can't stay seated for five minutes). 

3. Fantastic imagination! Unmatched in his capacity for blending fact with fiction.
(He's definitely one of the biggest liars I have ever met). 

4. Margie exhibits a casual, relaxed attitude to school, indicating that high expectations don't intimidate her.
(The lazy thing hasn't done one assignment all term). 

5. Her athletic ability is marvelous. Superior hand-eye coordination.
(The little creep stung me with a rubber band from 15 feet away). 

6. Nick thrives on interaction with his peers.
(Your son needs to stop socializing and start working). 

7. Your daughter's greatest asset is her demonstrative public discussions.
(Classroom lawyer! Why is it that every time I explain an assignment she creates a class argument). 

8. John enjoys the thrill of engaging challenges with his peers.
(He's a bully). 

9. An adventurous nature lover who rarely misses opportunities to explore new territory.
(Your daughter was caught skipping school at the fishing pond). 

10. I am amazed at her tenacity in retaining her youthful personality.
(She's so immature that we've run out of diapers). 

11. Unlike some students who hide their emotion, Charles is very expressive and open.
(He must have written the Whiner's Guide). 

12. I firmly believe that her intellectual and emotional progress would be enhanced through a year's repetition of her learning environment.
(Regretfully, we believe that she is not ready for high school and must repeat the 8th grade). 

13. Her exuberant verbosity is awesome! (A mouth that never stops yacking). 

I always got the Merit Award every year and Deputy Head Girl an 2nd Podium. Like being the Bridesmaid and never the Bride. 
Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Big PuddyTats</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=45125</link>
<pubDate>23-MAY-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Cute news.

Four white lion cubs have been born in a French Zoo. Only 60 in the world.

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Lucky Bstd</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=45134</link>
<pubDate>24-MAY-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
LONDON (AFP) - A homeless pensioner who has slept rough in one of London's most treasured beauty spots since 1986 was celebrating Thursday after the Land Registry granted him the deeds to his million-pound plot of land.

Harry Hallowes, 71, secured ownership to a 800 square-metre plot in Hampstead Heath, after a two-year legal battle with developers who tried to evict the pensioner from the grounds of Athalone House.

Dwyer Asset Management had tried unsuccessfully to evict Hallowes from his makeshift shack since March 2005 as it sought to redevelop the former nursing home into luxury flats.

The fiesty pensioner dug his heels in and consulted lawyers who provided evidence which showed that he had been living unchallenged on the plot for 21 years, and this became the basis for his claim to the land.

&quot;Someone mentioned a million and someone else said two million, but I'm not impressed with figures. I just wanted a place to live,&quot; a very composed Hallowes said after hearing the news.

Hallowes, who counts Monty Python star Terry Gilliam among his friends, laughed that he might now build himself a bigger residence.

&quot;Maybe I'll build myself a house -- everyone else around here seems to love building houses,&quot; he said.

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Inspired By Yellow Peril..Er...Penguin</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=44361</link>
<pubDate>17-MAY-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
CONFUCIOUS SAY: 

                                  Passionate kiss, like spider web, lead to undoing of fly.

Man who stand on toilet, high on pot.

He who walk through airport door sideways going to Bangkok.

Boy who go to sleep with stiff problem wake up with solution in hand.

It not sanitary when woman cook carrots and peas [pees] in same pot.

He who goes to sleep with a scratchy ass wakes up with stinky fingers.

Man who stand on street corner with hands in pockets, not feeling crazy, feeling nuts.

Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

Man who live in glass house should dress in basement.

Confucius say: Learn to Masturbate, Come in handy.

Men who put cream in tart not always bakers.

Man who walk in middle of road get hit by bus.

He who let woman on top is fucking up.

People who make Confuscious joke speak bad English.

Man who lose key to girlfriend's apartment get no new key (nookie).

Woman who fly upside-down have nasty crack-up.

Woman who go to man's apartment for snack gets tit-bit.

Man who lay woman on ground gets piece on earth.

Man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding bag.

Man who kisses girl's behind gets crack in face.

Woman who spend much time on bedspring may get offspring.

Man who sucks nipples makes clean breast of things.

Man with holes in pockets feel cocky all day.

Man who snatch kisses when young kisses snatches when old.

Man who fights with wife all day gets no piece at night.

He who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.

He who plays with self pulls boner.

Virgin is like balloon: one prick, all gone.

Girl who douches with vinegar walks around with sour puss.

Girls should not marry basketball players--they dribble before they shoot.

Man with athletic finger make broad jump.

Man who marry girl with no bust has right to feel low down.

Girl who rides bicycle peddles ass all over town.

Baby conceived in backseat of car with automatic transmission grow up to be shiftless bastard.

Wife not part of furniture until screwed on bed!!

Sex on beach is like American beer--fuckin' near water!!!

Man walking through swing doors is going to Bangkok.

Crowded elevator always smell different to midget.

Man who cut fart in church have to sit in own pew.

Baseball all wrong--Man with four balls CANNOT walk.

Woman who slides down banister makes monkey shine.

Woman who springs on springs this spring get off spring next spring.

Dumb man climb tree to get cherry; smart man spread limb.

Woman who cooks carrots and peas in same pot very unsanitary.

Girl who marries Richard must kiss Dick.

Woman with blonde hair may have black hair by cracky.

Man put in shithouse by wife end up in cathouse.

Man who go to sleep with itchy butt wake up with smelly fingers.


Now all Mystery of World Known To All Makind
Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>HUGS!!!! HAVE AN AWSOME DAY !!! : )</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=44166</link>
<pubDate>15-MAY-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Private Life
x Grace Jones

J'ai les glands with your theatrics,
Your acting's a drag,
It's ok on tv, but you can turn it off,

Your marriage is a tragedy,
But it's not my concern,
I'm very superficial i hate everything official,
Your private life drama, baby, leave me out,(x2)

Your sentimental gestures only bore me to death,
You've made a deaperate appeal, now save your breath,
Attachment to obligation, through guilt and regret, shit thats so wet




And your sex life complications are not my facinations,
Your private life drama, baby, leave me out,(x2) oh!

You asked my advice i say use the door,
But your still clinging to somebody you deplore,
And now you wanna use me for emotional blackmail,
I just feel pity when you lie, contempt when you cry,

Your private life drama, baby, leave me out,(x2) oh!
Your private life drama, baby, leave me out,(x8)

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>STRESS & CONFUSION</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=44169</link>
<pubDate>16-MAY-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
.
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Blonde Gone Fishing</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=43960</link>
<pubDate>14-MAY-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
This blonde really wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice.

Suddenly---from the sky---a voice boomed, &quot;THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!&quot;  Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed, &quot;THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!&quot;

The blonde, now quite worried, moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole. The voice came once more, even louder: &quot;THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!&quot;

She stopped, looked skyward, and said, &quot;Is that you, Lord?&quot;

The voice replied, &quot;NO, THIS IS THE RINK MANAGER!&quot;

 

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>The RedHead</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=43645</link>
<pubDate>12-MAY-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
A young Redhead goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. 

&quot;Impossible&quot;, says the doctor. &quot;Show me.&quot; 

She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams. 

The doctor says, &quot;You're not really a redhead, are you?&quot; 

&quot;No, &quot; she says, &quot; I'm actually a Blonde.&quot; 

&quot;I thought so, the doctor says. &quot;Your finger is broken.&quot; 
Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Who Would You Not Kick Out Of |Your Bed  ; P</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=42862</link>
<pubDate>06-MAY-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Who would you not kick out of your Bed?

Just watch film &quot;Ballad of Sad Cafe&quot; with Vannessa Redgrave and Keith Caradine.  Set in 1930s Vannessa as a backwards backwoods woman kicks her husband Keith Carradine out of the bed on her wedding night. Bit sad. They never sorted it out and ended up slugging each other.  

Not just backwards and backwood but completley nutty Vannessa. Keith Carradine would never be kicked out of my bed. Think he's gorgeous and sxy and a feeling taht he is a little bit &quot;dirty&quot;

Man most likey to sleep in the barn and have the iron griddle over his head - Jack Nickolson

So who would you not kick out of your bed, and who would be kicked out and sleeping in the barn?

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>You May Wish To Try This....jke</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=42861</link>
<pubDate>06-MAY-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
A young woman was in the hospital, recovering from major surgery. She 
hated being stuck in the tiny little room all day and to make matters 
worse, the daily routine was starting to get to her. 

Every morning, for example, the nurse would bring her breakfast (which 
always consisted of an egg, piece of toast, and glass of apple juice). 
She would then return a little bit later to empty the urine bottle. And 
so it continued... 

Finally, one morning, she decided to have a little fun. She ate the 
eggs 
and the toast, but went to the bathroom where she cleaned the urine 
bottle out, then poured the apple juice into it. 

When the nurse returned later that morning, he took a look at the 
bottle 
and a frown came over his face. &quot;Obviously, you enjoyed your breakfast, 
but something must be wrong because this looks a little cloudy,&quot; he 
said, pointing to the urine bottle. 

&quot;Oh, really?&quot; she replied, picking up the bottle in question and 
putting 
it to her lips. &quot;In that case, we'd better run it through again...&quot;

I will definitely do this one on someone.
Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>BADMAN - GET YOUR A$$ BACK HERE NOW!!!</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=39840</link>
<pubDate>15-APR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
If there's any fcking off to do it wont be done without my permission on on my SHIFT (Nurse talk here)

Looks like things have gone tits up for most at one time or another on these blogs and we take it out on ourselves and others. You are one of the biggest characters on this site and you cut yourself your own theme tune.

Of course I got mad at you over your blog on Special Needs. But understandably after nearly 20 years watching and  helping my mate and my godchildren taken through sht from the beginning. Don't expect me to give it to you easy.

He only walked and talked and got his skills going becasue I took it on myself to sit down with him every night for an hour and concentrate on each skill as the Professional sat in meetings and talked about all their theories. I also have rust in my shoulder from the amount of times my mate broke down in tears.

Anyway all that is OVER.

Don't you FUCK OFF. You stand at your post till you're givin permission to leave. Which is not on my shift. You are a Human Being same as everyone else. You fucked up same as everyone else, and now you are forgiven - same as everyone else. I don't expect you to be GOOD. I expect you to be BAD -same as everyone else.

OK. You have Permission to be AT EASE soldier. and Permission to be DISMISSED.

But you do not have permission to Fck Off until the Sarge tells you to Fck OFF. Right!!

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Viagra In Coffee</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=42542</link>
<pubDate>03-MAY-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Granny Puts Viagra in the Coffee


This elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up. Everything checked out fine. 
The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, &quot;Doctor, I haven't had sex for years now and I was wondering how I can increase my husband's sex drive.&quot; 

The doctor smiled and said, &quot;Have you tried to give him Viagra?&quot; 

The lady frowned. &quot;Doctor, I can't even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache,&quot; she claimed. 

&quot;Well,&quot; the doctor continued, &quot;Let me suggest something. Crush the Viagra into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. He won't notice a thing.&quot; 

The old lady was delighted. She left the doctor's office quickly. 

Weeks later the old lady returned. She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong. She shook her head. 

&quot;How did it go?&quot; the doctor asked. 

&quot;Terrible, doctor, terrible.&quot; 

&quot;Did it not work?&quot; 

&quot;Yes,&quot; the old lady said, &quot;It worked. I did as you said and he got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love on the table. It was the best sex that I'd had in 25 years.&quot; 

&quot;Then what is the problem, ma'am?&quot; 

&quot;Well,&quot; she said. &quot;I can't ever show my face in McDonald's again.&quot;


Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Doctor Doctor - - jke</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=42520</link>
<pubDate>03-MAY-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Doctor Doctor 
    
&quot;I think I have a problem, Doc,&quot; says a patient. &quot;One of my balls has 
turned blue.&quot; 

The doctor examines the man briefly and concludes that the patient will 
die if he doesn't have his testicle removed. 

&quot;Are you crazy?!&quot; bursts the patient. &quot;How could I let you do such a 
thing to me!&quot; 

&quot;You want to die?&quot; asks the doctor rhetorically, at which point the 
patient has to agree to have his testicle removed. 

Two weeks after the operation, the patient comes back. &quot;Doc, I don't 
know how to say this, but the other ball has turned blue, too.&quot; 

Again, the doctor tells him that if he wants to live, his other 
testicle 
must be cut off, too. Again, the man is very reluctant to the idea. 

&quot;Hey, you want to die?&quot; asks the doctor, and the patient has to agree 
with the operation. After two weeks of being testicle-less, the patient 
returns to the doctor and says, &quot;I think something is very wrong with 
me. My penis is now completely blue.&quot; 

After briefly examining the patient, the doctor gives him the bad news: 
If he wants to live, his penis has to go. Of course, the patient does 
not want to hear about it. 

&quot;You want to die?&quot; asks the doctor. 

&quot;But...how do I pee?&quot; 

&quot;We'll install a plastic pipe, and there will be no problem.&quot; So the 
patient has his penis removed, and, a while after the operation, the 
unfortunate man enters the doctor's office again. He is very angry. 

&quot;Doctor, the plastic pipe turned blue!&quot; 

&quot;What?&quot; 

&quot;Can you tell me what the hell is happening??&quot; 

The doctor examines the patient more carefully and says, &quot;Hmmm, I don't know. Could it be the jeans?&quot;

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Duh!!! (again)</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=42102</link>
<pubDate>30-APR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Lost Gas Cap 

David filled his car with gas at a self-service gas station. 

After he had paid and driven away, he realized that he had left the gas cap on top of his car. He stopped and looked and, sure enough, it was lost. 

Well, he thought for a second and realized that other people must have done the same thing, and that it was worth going back to look by the side of the road since even if he couldn't find his own gas cap, he might be able to find one that fit. 

Sure enough, he hadn't been searching long when he found a gas cap. He tried it on, and it went into place with a satisfying click. 

&quot;Great,&quot; David thought, &quot;I lost my gas cap, but I found another one that fits. 

&quot;And this one's even better because it locks.&quot; 


Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Extra Meaty Pizza Topping</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=41765</link>
<pubDate>28-APR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
LONDON (AFP) - A man stormed into a London restaurant and hacked off his own penis in front of horrifed diners, the Italian eaterie said Tuesday.

The man charged into a branch of a pizza and pasta chain Zizzi in a touristic area of central London on Sunday.

&quot;This guy came running in then charged into the kitchen, got a massive knife and started waving it about,&quot; diner Stuart McMahon told The Sun newspaper.

&quot;Everyone was screaming and running out as he jumped on a table, dropped his trousers and popped his penis out.

&quot;Then he cut it off. I couldn't believe it.&quot;

Police said a man aged 30-40 was injured through self-inflicted wounds. He was taken to a south London hospital.

Zizzi said the knife-wielder was thought to have no connection to the restaurant


Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>You Can't Tell Them</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=41764</link>
<pubDate>28-APR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
It is sad, but a true thing that you cannot tell people they just have to learn by themselves.

My nail technician Kate is very young. She was going out with a guy since sixteen. We were all shocked by the behaviour she said he was doing without being married to her. Threatened her, tried to strangle her, smashed up the home, tried to kill the kitten (Just slightly big signs)

But as young was understanding and forgiving and was very positive and hopeful. Then she got engaged.  We all told her it would get worse, not better and also be proud of herself and put her lines down. But that bloody ring and wedding dress shouted loudest.

Anyway, had my nails done the other day and she is getting divorced after just five months. I don't know what behaviour tipped the balance but he got even worse and now she has come to her senses and is getting out.

She was a sweet innocent kind of thing almost still a child at 17. But now there is grit in her eye and steel in her veins and determination in her heart. She is tougher and a lot more clearer about what she wants.

She is at last a WOMAN. 

But what a way to learn. But we all know. YOU CAN'T TELL THEM. They have to learn for themselves.

Seen this sooo many times.

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>The British Bulldog Says</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=41082</link>
<pubDate>23-APR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
A few more quotes from Winston Churchill. Some are very apt for todays problems

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject. 

 Never, never, never believe any war will be smooth and easy, or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter. The statesman who yields to war fever must realize that once the signal is given, he is no longer the master of policy but the slave of unforeseeable and uncontrollable events. 

One ought never to turn one's back on a threatened danger and try to run away from it. If you do that, you will double the danger. But if you meet it promptly and without flinching, you will reduce the danger by half. 


A love for tradition has never weakened a nation, indeed it has strengthened nations in their hour of peril. 

 An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last

All great things are simple, and many can be expressed in single words: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope. 

Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed. 
 
. 
 
Broadly speaking, the short words are the best, and the old words best of all. 

Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb. 


He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. 
Sir Winston Churchill

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it. 

I cannot pretend to feel impartial about colours. I rejoice with the brilliant ones and am genuinely sorry for the poor browns. 
 
I have always felt that a politician is to be judged by the animosities he excites among his opponents. 

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. 

It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried. 
 
It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time. 

It's not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required. 

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened. 

Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room. 

Personally I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught. 

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm. 

The price of greatness is responsibility. 

The reserve of modern assertions is sometimes pushed to extremes, in which the fear of being contradicted leads the writer to strip himself of almost all sense and meaning. 

There are a terrible lot of lies going around the world, and the worst of it is half of them are true. 

To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years. To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day. 

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give. 

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my own country. I make up for lost time when I come home. 

When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber. 

Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash. 

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>OI!!!</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=40927</link>
<pubDate>22-APR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
May this make you smile over your morning cuppa.

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Only In America</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=40761</link>
<pubDate>20-APR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Interesting Legal Case.

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>What I Want In A Man</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=40781</link>
<pubDate>21-APR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
What I Want In A Man!
 

What I Want in a Man, Original List 

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover 

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32) 

1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week 

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42) 

1. Not too ugly (bald head OK)
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends 

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52) 

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't retell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends 

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62) 

1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend 

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72) 

1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet 
 
Junie

GiveUaKiss Phrmmmmmph!!!
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Daughter.  I suggest You Don't Come Home This Lifetime...</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=39760</link>
<pubDate>14-APR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
What would you do if this was your daughter???

&quot;COME TO MY PARTY AND WRECK MY PARENT'S HOUSE&quot; 

When Elaine and Alan Bell left for a short Easter break their home was as always in an &quot;immaculate&quot; condition. 
Unfortunately they trusted 17-year-old daughter Rachael to keep it that way. 

The next day the houseproud parents returned to a scene of utter devastation. 


And that's exactly what happened. 

The 200+ partygoers caused around ?20,000 damage, ($39,000) stole cash and jewellery, wrecked clothes (including the mother's wedding dress) and even ripped light fittings out of the Clearly devastated, Mrs Bell was in tears as she spoke about every parent's nightmare. 

&quot;My wedding dress that has been hanging up for 20 years with a cover on it to keep it clean has been destroyed. Someone has urinated on it and I think someone has even been wearing it. 


No room has been left untouched. 

A sign on Rachael's bedroom states &quot;bog off boys&quot;, yet condoms were found strewn on the floor. 

The bathroom sink was filled with plates, cups and vomit and the shower was full of empty bottles. 

The living room floor littered with cigarette ends, ash and empty cans. 

There were black marks running up the stairway walls. 

In the youngest daughter's room a mirror was smashed, clothes thrown out of the cupboard and Rachel's younger brother had his sports clothes covered in dye because &quot;they didn't like chavs&quot;. 

Another room contained dozens of discarded BB gun pellets. 
 
According to Mrs Bell, a primary school teacher, her ?230,000 home has been left uninhabitable. Hardly surprisingly the parents are not on speaking terms with their teenage daughter, who has fled what is left of the family nest to stay with friends. 


Mrs Bell would even like to see her arrested over the damage.

&quot;Rachael knew that no-one is allowed in the house when we are away and definitely no parties are allowed. It makes me physically sick when I go in the house. 

&quot;Rachael has broken my trust and I don't think I want her back in the house. My other children have been crying and in pieces because of this. All their stuff is ruined.&quot; 

&quot;It beggars belief, I don't know why the police couldn't stop this.&quot; 

Neighbours said seven police cars - including a dog unit - were despatched to the usually quiet street and officers stayed outside until the party ended around 3 am. 
 
A Durham Police spokesman defended the actions of officers and said it would have been &quot;completely unrealistic&quot; to &quot;forcibly&quot; break up the party. 


Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Please Pray</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=39861</link>
<pubDate>15-APR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
OK

I have always been a &quot;Pain-In-The-A$$&quot; and never accepted anything and tried to change things. And looking back i have succeeded it was just Damned Difficult at the time.

But i have taken on Saftey in taxis for women and children after getting fedup with the number of taxi drivers who use the isolation of the situation to be sexually inappropriate. I have searched out feedback. WOW!!! Women suffering rapes and childen going to school being molested including pre-schooler and smal boys. 

Wrote to Councils and licencing Officers. Tried to involve police.

HA!!! Have I been intimidated or WHAT!!! Thrown up against a wall. Had a gun to my head. Threatened with the local est European/Iraqi mafia. Had malicious false accusations. Pet killed. Property damaged. Car broken into and wrecked. Nearly lost my job etc etc.

One thing about coming from a rough childhood I don't get intimidated and am not afraid of violence and threats. Feels like home.

Anyway. I am near the end and am seeing the Chief Executive over East Sussex in two weeks time. I have  been bullshttd the whole time and he has at last found out so wants to see me.

Wish me Well and PRAY LIKE HELL.

i have set up a website for public feedback of abuse in taxis. Its pssing the establishment off. and newspapers and television news is interested.

But I don't underestimate anything. So God Get My Back.

Junie 
This has gone on for over a year
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>The Aliens Are COMING!!!</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=39723</link>
<pubDate>14-APR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Who is your favourite ALIEN? / Alien Film?

Which Alien would you be? Most powers, most nastiness, most acid blood?

Or cutest? or Wierdest?

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Blog Fight 2 - I am blocked as U Jolly Well Know K6</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=38041</link>
<pubDate>02-APR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Bloody hell. K6 is fighting with his imaginary English Female Demons again.

Don't be amazed I have not turned up. As he knows he has blocked me from all his blogs.

This is not a Dogfight. Just a dog chasing its own tail trying to lick his own balls in public.

If I'm blocked and I don't block him that means he feels I am more of a threat. So I win.

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Scarey Stuff</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=39421</link>
<pubDate>11-APR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Just watched a documentary about the World's Worst Sex Change Surgeon. John Raymond Brown. Was not qualified as a surgeon but performed lots of Male - Female surgery. Lot of willy removal. Very arrogant did a lot of harm. Practicing for years.

Also included people who are obsessed with having a limb amputated even though there is not thing wrong. Mr Brown agreed, Surgery went wrong. The world is getting weirder and there are lots of people out there willing to make money out of it.

Channel4 online on demand. can download programmes.

You fellas will be crossing your legs.


I suppose you all know that plastic surgeons and breast enhancement surgeons do not have to have any kind of medical training. Just thought I'd let you know.

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>First Date Warnings</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=36241</link>
<pubDate>21-MAR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
What First date Warning Signs Have You Had In The Past that This Perosn Was Not Meant For You?

1) Told me all his domestice arrangements. How to keep the fridge stocked up, which side of the bed he likes to sleep on and how he likes his breakfast.

Ever felt you were being interviewed for the position of a domestic insteas of a date?

2) Only aged 30. Gentleman said I was not getting any younger and would be left ont he self. he might be my last chance/hope.

Not a Hope.

3) relaxed night in with video and home cooked meal.  Except after only 3 hours the huge bottle of vodka he bought was empty and I was still on my first glass.

4) I drink little and slow. But 10 pints int he time I take two is a little much for a first date.

5) Guy explained how he wants a relationship like the last one who had just kicked him out.  Only comes round at weekends. brings his washing and ironing, expects to stay in and have nice home cooked meals etc. Said he fell out wuth the last one when she wanted to changew the arranement to take her 7 year old son out for hisa birthday. guy thought him and his arrangment should always come first.

Also said he did not like people who smile at him, makes him nervous and edgey. (Psycho music)

6) Guy compalined all evening about young people liking going out and loud music and riotous living. said it was good thing we &quot;older&quot; people did not like that stuff. he was past going out. Hoped I did not want taking out like this all the time 

for goodness sake he had only bought me one drink in a pub.

7) I don't like women who beat me at pool. Sorry can't help it.

8) I don't like sex (Pass)

9) I like bjs but I don't go down myself (Eject Eject)

What signs have you had on a first date which said a second date would not be happening?

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>HELP!!!! I'M BEING HARASSED BY BK MEMBERS</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=38360</link>
<pubDate>05-APR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
SENDING ME BAD JOKES AND RUDE!!!FUNNY PICTURES.

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. YOU HAVE MADE ME SPILL MY COFFEE. SPLIT A STICTH IN MY SIDE. PEBBLEDASH THE PC SCREEN WITH THE CONTENTS OF MY MOUTH WHEN EATING AND MADE ME LATE FOR WORK OR IN TROUBLE WITH MY BOSS FOR NOT GETTING WORK IN TIME.

STOP IT. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. YOU ARE JUST EVIL PREDATORS ON THE INTERNET  DEDICATED TO DISRUPTING MY DAY  AND THE FABRIC OF SOCIETY AS WE KNOW IT.

STOP IT OR I WILL BLOCK YOU AND WRITE A LETTER TO YOUR MOTHERS...I MEAN IT.

XXX JUNIE
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Independent Women Still Need Men</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=37680</link>
<pubDate>31-MAR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Ok. Discussion Board Here.

There is a problem that women have to be capable and independent in order to be good mature women and mothers. We can take a lot of sht but still go on. House and Home and Family and Community would collapse if we didn't.

But just because we are strong and have to think about how to hold and support our families and communities together and have a career and fight in the workplace same as everyone else. Don't mean we don't need you big strong men to come home to.

I do feel and have found that as I am competent and pro-active and pssaionate in what i wish to achieve, many men see that as &quot;dominant&quot; and &quot;independent&quot; and not needing them. They feel redundant.

I need you just as any woman needs you. I can be strong in the workplace and politically and socially active. But I can still kick off my shoes and cuddle up and be soft as a marsmallow when I come home. Happily cook a meal. Play house and be dependent and passive and receptive in bed. Home is my haven and so should be my man. Not someone who feels in competition with me or feels he has nothing to offer.

Studies of 7 year old children show that girls are naturally affectionate and caring. But that boys at that age will declare that they are rady to fight and will do anything to protect Mummy and sisters and home.

I do think that this is in the natural heart of most men. And let me asure you. We still need what God has naturally given you as part of His own image in you.

Men are supposed to be the Protectors, Providers and Defenders of their Family, Home, Nation and Community. May God support men in fulfilling theri natural born given purpose and nature. We should be working together for what is important, not against each other for what is not.


OK
Discussion board open. Men please step up ans say how you feel in this modern world. Do you think you are wanted? Do you think you still have a place? Do you think you are redundant and women don't want you any more except as sperm banks and wallets?

Let Me Assure You. You Are Still Wanted.

Junie
Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>FASHION - What's Yours?</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=36761</link>
<pubDate>25-MAR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
What is your style? What or Who do you think is fashionable or always stylish?

I tend to go for classics or unique pieces. Do a lot of searching at Antique and Second Hand. Have clasics and pieces which I can bring out and use every year. never go out of style.

Some can pull sexy off. But some style leaders look like tramps or streetwalkers. Catwalk gets really weird.

Fellas. Has your g/f ever worn stuff that you just &quot;Don't Get!!&quot; or hated, but you didn't say anything just to keep the peace?

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>HaHa. Round Two Not Happening</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=37463</link>
<pubDate>30-MAR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Just to let you know that Round 2 of K6 and Junie's fight cannot continue as Cowardly Big Knickers K6 has blocked me from that blog as well.

Jumbo Dumbo AsUsual

But I am sure all are tired and want to move on.

Just thought. (ping) As K6 has blocked me from all his blogs that means it is an admittance of who is the Superior and who is htreatened the most. Big A$$ Biker with Bugs In Teeth or Little Old 5'2&quot; me.

Ah well I can live with it.
Drinks fro all in the VIP Winner's Lounge.

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Cross Dressing</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=37000</link>
<pubDate>27-MAR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Ok. All through my life people have tended to tell me things. That is why I became a nurse. Might as well get paid for it.

Recently a male friend felt the need to unburden himself and tell me he is a cross dresser. OK. Didn't really need this information but fine. OK.

Just seen him in the street. Sorry but it was soo bad I could spot him despite the disguise.

He is the worse cross dresser ever. Looks like a bag lady with facial hair problems and the worst clothing sense ever. Ugly as sin. Ash Blond wig which looks like ite last employment was in a mop bucket. No posture and falls over every ten yards in flat shoes never mind heels.

Do I take my make-up kit and waxing strips out or do I say &quot;Forget it brother. You're crap&quot;

He will get seriously beaten up if he continues to go out like that. 

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Weddings - Wilt Thou!!!</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=36767</link>
<pubDate>25-MAR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Weddings.

Like them? Loath Them?
For Them? Against Them?

What's your thoughts? May be you have had wonderful wedding. Would you do it again?

Do you like the full blown Pomp and Cermony?
Do you like a quiet affair?

I ws engaged once (everyone gasps!!) at 19. I came to my senses. But it seemed that everyone else took over and our lives and the realtionship and arrangements taken off us. It was like a giant monster roller coaster we could not get off. Have been to big weddings were the people seemed to have got lost in all the big arrangments.It semed the dress was getting married and we could not see our mate for the giant merangue she was wearing.

Best weddings were simple cheap informal affairs. Everyoen mucking in to do the buffet. Band made up of mates and just enough money to buy a dress (which complemented the bride) and a decent suit for the groom. Only take a few weeks to sort out.

Brother's second weeding a dream. Didn't tell anyone (No mire of family arguements and politics to get through) Sent invites two weeks before. Either turn up or don't. Small village registry office. back to his for the buffet. Wrapped up and watching telly and back to normal by 6pm. Perfect!!!

What do you like?
What was your expereince?
Have you any photos of you looking beautiful on your day?
How would you plan your next one?

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>To RED  - Special Delivery</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=36906</link>
<pubDate>27-MAR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
..
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>To All The &quot;Real&quot; Biker Macho Macho Men</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=36700</link>
<pubDate>25-MAR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
I love this song. Heard it for the first time a year ago. Makes me laugh.

OH LORD ITS HARD TO BE HUMBLE (song :D 

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
when you're perfect in every way.
I can't wait to look in the mirror
cause I get better lookin? each day.
To know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man.
Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
but I'm doing the best that I can.


I used to have a girlfriend
but she just couldn't compete
with all of these love starved women
who keep clamoring at my feet.
Well I prob'ly could find me another
but I guess they're all in awe of me.
Who cares, I never get lonesome
cause I treasure my own company.


Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
when you're perfect in every way,
I can't wait to look in the mirror
cause I get better looking each day
To know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man.
Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
but I'm doing the best that I can.


I guess you could say I'm a loner,
a big biker outlaw tough and proud.
I could have lots of friends if I want to
but then I wouldn't stand out from the crowd.
Some folks say that I'm egotistical.
Hell, I don't even know what that means.
I guess it has something to do with the way that I
fill out my skin tight blue jeans.


Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
when you're perfect in every way,
I can't wait to look in the mirror
cause I get better looking each day
To know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man.
Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
but I'm doing the best that I can.
We're doing the best that we can

Junie :)

I wouldn't like to have to judge this contest.
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Psycho Monthly Syndrome</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=36580</link>
<pubDate>24-MAR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
OK Girls

What is your Psycho Monthly Syndrome like? Do you suffer? Do you make everyone else suffer? How many arrests have you had? How many doors have you had to rehang? How many pints of milk have you turned sour?

I am pretty OK up until 2 days before. I am like clockwork. perfect monthly timing. 3 days on. No heavy. No pain. No headaches etc. i need to patent my hormones to every woman who suffers.

But 2 days before is when I get psychotic. I am psychotically weepy, I am psychotivally aggressive and i am psychoticaly SEXY!!!

For most of the month I am REASONABLE but for Two days of the month I'M RIGHT!!!

So sex would be very exciting. very dangerous and done in a bath of tears with a mop and bucket at hand.

&quot;FUCK ME YOU BASTD. WAWWWHHHHHH!!!! WAWWWWHHHH!!! 
SOB SOB&quot;

So what are you like. Should taxis and buses avoid you and change their route? Fellas what differences have you noticed and how do you manage it? Do you get more sx or less sx. Have you any injuries or scares?

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>I Like Your Thinking</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=36606</link>
<pubDate>24-MAR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
A teacher asks her class, ''If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'' She calls on little Johnny. 

''None, they all fly away with the first gunshot.'' 

The teacher replies, ''The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.'' Then Little Johnny says, ''I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?'' 

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, ''Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.'' 

''The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on...but I like your thinking


Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Junie & K6 In Bed</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=35000</link>
<pubDate>12-MAR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
This is difficult. Keeps disappearing. try again.

Hands Off BK. She's still got her knickers on.

And don't worry Nothing is happening. He's probably DEAD&gt;
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<item>
<title>What Have I In My Basement???</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=35583</link>
<pubDate>16-MAR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Ok. Need Confirmation and Advice.

I deal with &quot;stuff&quot; everyday at work and know diferent lifestyles and how drug culture works.

But I am a little slow when it moves in on my doorstep. I have seen the signs. had my strong suspicions and now my Red Sign is Bleeping.

New Nieghbour in basement.

1) Keeps thick curtains and blinds shut all day.
2) Lots of comings and goings of young people and groups hanging around. Who only go in for a few minutes then come out
3) People always wear hoodies and turn away when you try and look them in the face.
4) People weird and front and back yard now look like junk yard.
5) Recently moved several matresses (no basis) inot flat which is only small one bedroom flat.
6) Old rickety outside loo now used for new use and lots of goings in and out.
7) Groups of men turning up late at night
8) Loud continuous &quot;banging&quot; late at night for around half an hour.
9) tenant sleazy guy has very young boys going in and out (Don't even go there!!!)
10) Some of these bstds nicked my bike, scratched my car, broke the lock and tried to steal my Bunny (Who now is not allowed in the garden unsupervised.
11) The people have the personality and the brains and speech pattern of a lobotomised guerilla
12) People come out as high as a kite and as jittery as jumping beans. (Need a fly swat)

I may be going out on a limb here  But I think I have a Crack House in our Basement.

Anyone know enough to also suspect this is true.

Thing is I deal with this all the time. I've even visited these place as part of what I do. but when it is on your own turf there is a kind of &quot;Disbelief&quot;


I live in a beautiful Georgian House converted into flats with really nice neightbours including a little old lady right above these people. it has really changed the &quot;house&quot; and it really terrifies her. I have stood toe to toe with them. But because i know how these things can go I don't want raise the conflict or they could do something when I am not there and it is Barbara my elderly neighbour who could cop it. I have known people to set fire to flats and I would not want Barbara to be trapped.


Junie
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<item>
<title>PC Gone MAD!!!</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=36180</link>
<pubDate>20-MAR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
OK.

I am getting old and I am getting confused and all my dreams of 60s 70s 80s 90s better world, freedom, right s and care are trashed int he dustbin but...

Animal rights activists are lobbying for an abandoned polar bear cub born at Berlin Zoo to be put down.

YES. ANIMAL RIGHTS ACTIVISTS ARE CAMPAIGNING FOR A HEALTHY BABY POLAR BEAR TO BE PUT DOWN!!! BECAUSE LOVING IT IS CRUEL.

The bundle of fur called Knut became something of a superstar at the zoo when he was ignored by his mother.

He has been bottle fed and comforted by zoo staff ever since 

Now three-months-old, little Knut is at the centre of a row over whether he should be allowed to continue living or be put down.

Animal rights activists say domesticating the bear is cruel, unnatural and will prevent him forming relationships with other bears in the future. Ruediger Schmeidel from the Foundation for Bears is adamant &quot;they cannot domesticate a wild animal&quot;, as he continues to clash with the zoo over Knut's welfare.

Zoo says that is rubbish as most bears are loners but will naturally mate and bond when need to.

Ok so love and care and feeding and comforting and nurishing an animal is &quot;Evil&quot; and Cruel. and we must all be put down from it.

Best tell  the children, boyfriends and my pet bunny they are due a final visit to the vets next week as I have been cruel to them long enough.

Scuse me my lopeared Rabbit is begging for some cuddles and scrateches behind the ears. Should I be cruel or not???

Is it better to be dead or alive and loved and have your ears and belly scratched regularly??

World's Gone Bloody Loopy

Junie
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Cheap labour</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=35381</link>
<pubDate>15-MAR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Never Can Find Cheap Labour.
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Salesman</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=35726</link>
<pubDate>17-MAR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Salesman
A keen country lad started his new job as a salesman at a city department store. The first day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o'clock came around and his boss was eager to know how he had done. 

&quot;I made one sale&quot;, he said proudly. 

&quot;Only one?&quot; blurted his boss. &quot;Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was this one sale worth?&quot;

&quot;Thirty-eight thousand, three hundred and thirty-four pounds&quot;, came the reply. When asked to explain, the young man continued:

&quot;A man came in and I managed to sell him first a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one and a huge one. I asked him where he would be going fishing and he said down the coast. I said he would probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that 20ft schooner with the twin engines. Then I persuaded him that his hatchback wouldn't be able to pull it, so I sold him a new SUV.&quot;

His boss asked in astonishment: 

&quot;You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?&quot; 

&quot;Not exactly, replied the salesman. He actually came in to buy a box of Tampons for his wife and I said to him, Your weekend shot, you may as well go fishing.&quot;

Junie Lol
]]></description>
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<item>
<title>Choose Beer</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=35382</link>
<pubDate>15-MAR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
.
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<item>
<title>Poor Pussy</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=34681</link>
<pubDate>10-MAR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
.
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Embarassing Erectile Problems</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=35380</link>
<pubDate>15-MAR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
.
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<item>
<title>After A While</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=34502</link>
<pubDate>08-MAR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't mean security.

And you begin to learn
thta kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
With the Grace of a Woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tommorow's ground is too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way of falling down in midflight.

After a while you leatn
that even sunshine burns if you get to much
So you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone 
to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure
you grow strong
You really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn

JUnie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Idiot Proof Instructions (maybe)</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=33782</link>
<pubDate>03-MAR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
In this time when liability makes manufacturers cover their a$$ with instructions on the box. Personally I like the Korean knife and the Japanese Food Processor. (Lol)

Instructions for life
from the back of the box

* On Sears hairdryer: 
Do not use while sleeping. 

* On a bag of Fritos: 
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. 

* On a bar of Dial soap: 
Directions: Use like regular soap. 

* Some Swann frozen dinners: 
Serving suggestion: Defrost. 

* On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box: 
Fits one head. 

* On Tesco's Tiramisu desert: 
Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.) 

* On Marks &amp; Spencer Bread Pudding: 
Product will be hot after heating 

* On packaging for a Rowenta Iron: 
Do not iron clothes on body 

* On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine 
Do not drive car or operate machinery 

* On Nytol (a sleep aid): 
Warning: may cause drowsiness 

* On a Korean kitchen knife: 
Warning keep out of children 

* On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: 
For indoor or outdoor use only. 

* On a Japanese food processor: 
Not to be used for the other use 

* On Sainsbury's Peanuts 
Warning: contains nuts 

* On an American Airlines packet of nuts: 
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. 

* On a Swedish chainsaw: 
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Anna RIP</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=33482</link>
<pubDate>28-FEB-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Can't get anything to post on maneater's blog to Anna Nicole. Just thought Eartha Kitt might have something appropriate to say.

An Old Fashioned Millionaire

I'm just an old fashioned girl with an old fashioned mind
Not sophisticated, I'm the sweet and simple kind.
I want an old fashioned house, with an old fashioned fence
And an old fashioned millionaire.

I want an old fashioned car, a cerise Cadillac,
Long enhough to put a bowling alley in the back.
I want an old fashioned house, with an old fashioned fence
And an old fashioned millionaire.

I'll stay weaving at my loom,
Be no trouble to my groom,
If he'll keep the piles of money mounting.
In our cottage there will be
A soundproof nursery
Not to wake the baby while I'm counting.
I like the old fashioned flowers, violets are for me -
Have them made in diamonds by the man at Tiffany.
I want an old fashioned house, with an old fashioned fence
And an old fashioned millionaire.

I'm just a pilgrim at heart, oh so pure and genteel.
Watch me in Las Vegas while I'm at the spinning wheel!
I want an old fashioned house, with an old fashioned fence
And an old fashioned millionaire.

I'll ask for such simple things when my birthday occurs:
Two appartment buildings that are labelled 'Hers' and 'Hers'.
I want an old fashioned house, with an old fashioned fence
And an old fashioned millionaire.

I like Chopin and Bizet
And the songs of yesterday,
String quartets and Polonesian carols.
But the music that excels
Is the sound of oil wells
As they slurp, slurp, slurp into the barrels.
Our little home will be quaint as an old parasol,
And instead of carpet I'll have money wall to wall.
I want an old fashioned house, with an old fashioned fence
And an old fashioned millionaire.

God Bless and RIP Another &quot;Babe&quot; hits the motel carpet one last time. Hope Britney pulls herself out of that tailspin.

From a girl who never made the babe grade

Junie
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>The Indispensable Man - a poem</title>
<link>http://www.BikerKiss.com/blog_messages?blog_id=32581</link>
<pubDate>22-FEB-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Found this the other day in a Brethren Hall. Some of you may know it.

The Indispensable Man

Sometime when you're feeling important;
Sometime when your ego 's in bloom;
Sometime when you take it for granted,
You're the best qualified in the room:
Sometime when you feel that your going,
Would leave an unfillable hole,
Just follow these simple instructions,
And see how they humble your soul.   

Take a bucket and fill it with water,
Put your hand in it up to the wrist,
Pull it out and the hole that's remaining,
Is a measure of how much you'll be missed.
You can splash all you wish when you enter,
You may stir up the water galore,
But stop, and you'll find that in no time,
It looks quite the same as before.  

The moral of this quaint example,
Is to do just the best that you can,
Be proud of yourself but remember,
There's no indispensable man.


Dust to Dust. Ashes to Ashes. but...

God so loved the World that He gave us his Son so that anyone who may believe on Him may have salvation and ever lasting life

Otherwise. we are dust. even as we live.
]]></description>
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