Biker Blogs > XENA18's blogs > LADIES! DO MEN REALLY WANT AN IDEPENDENT WOMAN?? NOOOT!!
LADIES! DO MEN REALLY WANT AN IDEPENDENT WOMAN?? NOOOT!! Sort by:
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XENA18
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Posted on Sun, Feb 04, 2007 11:46

MEN SEEM 2 ALWAYS LOVE THE INDEPENDENT FEMALE, BUT WHEN THEY GET THEM AND 'WE' CONTINUE 2 B WHO WE R, THEN SUDDENLY THAT 'FOXY INDEPENDENCE' BECOMES AN IRRITANT!!? WELL, 4 THOSE OF U OTHER FABULOUS INDEPENDENT WOMEN EVERYWHERE......ROCK ON WIT'CHO BAD SELF...'CUZ I BELIEVE THERE R SOME!!! MEN OUT THERE THAT WILL NOT BECOME INTIMIDATED, IRRITATED, WHINY, WEIRD, CONTROLLING, CONDESCENDING OR ANYTHING ELSE HATEFUL WHEN THEIR STRONG, YET STILL FEMININE COUNTERPARTS TELL THEM "NO" EVERY NOW AND AGAIN.....AND IF U FIND 1....SHARE HIM, WILL YA?? HA!!


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XENA18
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Posted on Thu, Apr 19, 2007 12:09

U R RIGHT...OPINIONS R LIKE A-HOLES....IF U READ WHAT I SAID U WOULD KNOW THAT NO MAN HAS EVER DEFINED ME OR WHO I AM...AND NEVER WILL...AND THE STATEMENT ABOUT MY EX WAS IN RESPONSE 2 OTHERS COMMENTS AND 2 EXPLAIN FURTHER THE INITIAL BLOG ?....AND B4 U ASSUME!!! ....AND WHEN U ASSUME....... HOW I WOULD B IN A RELATIONSHIP I THINK IT WOULD MAKE SENSE 2 KNOW WHO I AM 1ST B4 HAVING THE BALLS 2 SAY HOW I WOULD B IN ANY RELATIONSHIP....I THINK I AM A BETTER JUDGE OF MY CHARACTER THAN U OR ANY1 ELSE.....BUT THANK U 4 UR THOUGHTS JUST THE SAME..........


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justyforya
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Posted on Sun, Apr 15, 2007 05:10

NICE TEETH AND GOOD HYGIENE ....hahha OKIE, now to answer your question with a question: what is independent? Doing the walk-about for days, weeks, or months on end? Screwing around? Using the person? Only think of one's own needs? I would say no, most men don't want that; most people don't want that. Any lasting relationship is a give-n-take thing. You can not always have you own way [at least not for very long]. Respect and trust are the keys to a health relationship. When one or the others is missing or disappears, the relationship is over. Now what I have noticed in your replies to others, is that you are carring a lot of hurt feels about your ex. My advise (and opinions are like a-holes) is that it would be best for you to be on your own and not commit to anything for quite along time to come. You will be bring lots of extra baggage into any serious relationship you start, and that will push envelop concerning the issues trust and respect. Be single and learn to be happy [alone]. Learn that you don't need anyone else to be a complete person. A funny thing about women is a lot of them place their own value or worth based upon the man or men they are with or can obtain. But, that is just my viewpoint and like I stated, opinions are like...


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bluebiatch
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Posted on Sat, Apr 14, 2007 09:33

You are so right when you say we do not need them. I came up with a bumper sticker that says You may want, You may desire. But you Do Not Need a man. I had one in New Orleans made from metal That says Men are neanderthals Women have evolved. Don't get me wrong there are some men that have evolved, Just hard to find.


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Heretic
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Posted on Fri, Apr 13, 2007 22:17

I see things from the opposite side that you women do. I seem to attract the needy, clingy women who want me to take care of them and all their kids. I have had my share of the ones who have to call me every 20 minutes, even when I am at work. I have also found a lot of them who heard wedding bells after the first date. Where do I sign up for an independent woman?


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cowboyglk
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Posted on Fri, Apr 13, 2007 17:40

wow...you're so righton...it is a partnership...talk n listen..support n help..walk the broken(?) path together...I good ,but not very good when doing everything alone

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XENA18
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Posted on Sat, Mar 17, 2007 08:20

HEY BATS, U KNOW, U R SO RIGHT...ME AND MY GIRLFRIEND WERE TALKING ABOUT THIS LAST NITE....WE BOTH OWN OUR HOMES, FT EMPLOYMENT, DRIVE NICE VEHICLES, FOXY LOOKING ;) AND CAN TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES...BUT WE DO WANT A GOOD MAN 2 SHARE ALL THAT WE R AS WOMEN AND OUR TIME...BUT MEN RUN FROM US BECAUSE WE DON'T NEEEEEEEEED THEM!! WE WANT THEM....IT IS A CHOICE 4 US, YA KNOW? IT IS BLOODY RIDICULOUS!!!! UGH....WE DO NOT NEED THEM 2 PAY OUR BILLS, WE DON'T NEED THEM 2 FIX OUR LIVES, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH....WE WANT 2 SHARE OUR LIVES WITH THEM AND THEY JUST DON'T GET IT!!!


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XENA18
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Posted on Sat, Mar 17, 2007 08:02

HEY CHOP, CRUISIN AND ALL! HEY CHOP...U GOT A TWIN? HA!! AND MY EX WAS A LEO 2....THINGS THAT MAKE U GO HMMMMMMMM ;) GLAD U R HAVING A GOOD RELATIONSHIP AND U R MAN ENUFF 2 REFLECT ON UR OWN INSECURITIES...GOOD 4 U! CRUISIN, YEA I HOPED 4 A LONG TIME THAT HE WOULD GROW A PAIR, BUT ALAS.....NOW? IF I RUN IN2 HIM, I WILL KNOCK HIM UPSIDE HIS DUMB ARCE HEAD!! HA!! :)


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Junie2006
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Posted on Fri, Mar 16, 2007 13:43

Chop That is what i am tryign to say. We get so many messages bombarded to us evryday about what a relationship or a woman or a man should be like we never stop to question these ideals. And they make us put heavy burdens on each other's backs. It is good to have good values and seek good standards, but we can miss what we have and miss that we have a hardworking person infront of us doing all kind of things to improve their life and ours and "Giving Their All" because we have these fcked up fantasies saying we should expect something different. i would rather live in house of poor and eat vegetables where there is always love and care and where I can relax. Than live in a palace with riches where there is always strife and no love. Junie


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rodman52
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Posted on Fri, Mar 16, 2007 05:19

Angel4iron seems to have the right idea,If your blend what both people have you come out with a pretty good team.Both supporting each other.Just remembering we all need our space. Rodman


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chop821
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Posted on Fri, Mar 16, 2007 05:12

I had to learn not to be self centered. And did not even know that I was. Years ago I read this thing about expectations. The higher your expectations the lower your serenity. Made sense to me. Not long after reading this, I got in to a relationship with a very independent hard working women. If I did not hear from her or see her. I would get a case of the poor Me's I am such a low priority in her life. The breakthrough in my life is that instead of whining to her about it. I looked to myself. Why did it bother me. It bothered me because I had expectations. When I learned to drop these. And be grateful for what was instead of focusing on what I wanted it to be. We were much happier. ( she had learned this lesson before I did) Also I would like to say that I am very glad I did not bitch about it when I was feeling neglected. As it turned out. there was always a good reason for it. She was in the hospital with one of her boys or the cops were there arresting one of them. etc. etc. When I learned that life wasn't all about me. I got much happier, and I suspect much easier to be around.


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cruisineasy1
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Posted on Fri, Mar 16, 2007 02:38

HHmm you nailed it. HE sounds pretty narcistic and immature, then afterward,passive aggressive and punishing you for not obeying his wishes. HEY! Too darn bad... We all don't get what we want all the time. Hope you had a great time with your family.If he has a shred of maturity , he'll call you and apologize for being a jerk...ok, here's to hoping that will happen.


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Junie2006
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Posted on Fri, Mar 16, 2007 02:30

I think it is important to come to one another and see each other as Independent Intelligent Adults and give respect to eahc other's lives and responsibilities. It is nice to have your legs lifted off the ground sometime and be carried for a while - and vice versa. But the things I deem improtant in my life are IMPORTANT. I don't want them disregarded or ignores and I don't need rescuing . I need respecting and coming alongside to help me achieve the things I want to achieve. I meet many men who have a "Rescue, Knight in Shinning Armour" fantasy. They think they can help but two minutes into the work I do and what I do and they can't cope and run away. Want an easy life. Also have friends who I have been second parent to their children. Worked with them, struggled raising kids on nothing, liasied with professional and services. Been with them throught the hurt and the heart break and feeding and providing them on nothing. One child is special needs. Mum has been doing it for 10 years. No help. Mr Wonderful comes in, believe he knows it all naturally as he is a man. He could not cope. Fell back on the alcohol began to beat her and the disabled kid up. She then became carer for him as well. and eventually he commited suicide in front of her and the kid. He was so full of his own confidence and belief that he did not give her respect or recognition for the 10 years she had been doing it on her own and had a lot more knowledge about it than him. and for ten years despite everything neither of us took to drink or drugs or bad relationships or was abusive to the kid. His wonderful input cost ehr her kids who ahd to be takedn into care because of his violent suicide and Mum's breakdown after. My last guy wanted to "rescue" me. I gave him one day in my life of a Case Manager for Head Injuries and Crisi Response Nurse (suicide squade) what I ahd to do and the litigation process. he said he couldn't cope. he could not cope so suggested that I should get an easier job. That always the way out for you fellas isn't it. Just Leave. Gee. the problem is you fellas want it soo easy. Shouldn't come into a life without giving respect to that life first. And respect to that person as a real human being. Not a person from some fantasy which never existed. Everyone wants "Babes" no one wants Real Women.


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Posted on Thu, Mar 15, 2007 21:25

Sorry you didn't catch the humor of my rambling about being stuck on the couch. I am blessed with more true friends than most folks have buddies, pals and aquaintances. Am I an independence "freak" hardly. But, since I am one of the only retired, single people in my large, extended family, I spend a lot of time alone. Their time with spouse and children and family are more important to me than asking them to come help me cut down a couple of small trees or get my big, fat arse off the couch. Do I let my "freak flag fly"? You betcha I do, but not for the reason you think.


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Posted on Thu, Mar 15, 2007 18:06

Angel...you said it perfectly!


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fromthefarm
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Posted on Thu, Mar 15, 2007 16:45

Seem like I find one extreme or the other. They want you to provide everything for them or I can do it all so get out of my way. Doesn't seem to be many choices that I have found.


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XENA18
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Posted on Thu, Mar 15, 2007 16:35

HEY ALL, YES IT IS A PARTNERSHIP, BUT MY FRUSTRATION LIES WITH SITUATIONS SUCH AS THIS: MY EX AND I WERE, I THOUGHT, AWESOME! 2GETHER...WE, I THOUGHT, COMMUNICATED MATURELY, I WAS ALWAYS A LADY WITH HIM.... PLAYED THE MALE / FEMALE ROLES ACCORDING 2 HOW SOCIETY SEES IT... ETC....BUT THE 1ST TIME I SAID NO 2 HIM...WHOOOOAA NELLY!.... CUZ I HAD FAMILY IN TOWN AND I DID NOT DROP EVERYTHING...LIKE A LOT OF WOMEN WOULD....AND RUN, RUN, RUN RIGHT OVER 2 HIS PLACE AND CATER 2 HIS BLOODY WHIMS............HE FLIPPIN' FLAKED!!!!!! IT WAS "BABY I MISS U CRAZY!" CRAP!! 1 DAY AND 3 DAYS LATER....NOT A WORD........NOTHING, ZIP, NADA, ZERO, NYE!!!! I WAS LIKE, GROW THE "F" UP, GROW A PAIR.....THAT R BIGGER THAN MINE, THANK U!! GEEZ!.... AND B MAN ENUFF 2 BREAK UP WITH ME....LIKE A REAL MAN....OR LEARN 2 COMMUNICATE WITH ME...LIKE A REAL MAN!!!!!! WTF???? AAAARRRRRGGGGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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angel4iron
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Posted on Fri, Feb 16, 2007 09:10

You know--- I'm thunkn' it's about partnership. Not that we women are like MS. independent freaks about getting our ways, or nutn'... I'm sort-a thinking, "hey! I can manage somethings on my own, thank you very much" and other things.. I'm just not that strong, or have the hands to get it done myself and I yell, "HELP"! What about just doing the partnership thing?? and he does some things better than I, and I do some things better than him! We work it out together. Sharing, and give & take. Equalness (is that a word??) You know?? ;o)


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cruisineasy1
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Posted on Fri, Feb 16, 2007 09:06

MS Hendersom, Men friends in general aren't as sensitve to a woman's needs as are good girlfriends...Sorry to hear you still are having such a hard time of it. If you lived closer, I'd be offering you a hand. Wondering if the hospital social worker of the recovery floor you were on post surgery , could not offer you some options on getting help in to your home...don't let pride stand in your way call.... We all need a helping hand, once in awhile, we are human.


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cruisineasy1
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Posted on Fri, Feb 16, 2007 09:01

Hey, you are welcome, Xena!! Took getting through a painful course in my life to get to that truth. I can say coming out of that fire, I was better now for suffering through it. Some of us are more knot headed than others..so we need to suffer more, i think to get what we need to learn...my case, anywho...Hope you blog more, Xena..good topic.


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