Blog description:The One Flaw In Women By the time the Lord made woman, He was into his sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending so much time on this one?" And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to b e completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a sc...
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The One Flaw In Women By the time the Lord made woman, He was into his sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending so much time on this one?" And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to b e completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart -and she will do everything with only two hands."
The angel was astounded at the requirements. "Only two hands? No way! And that's just on the standard model? That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."
"But I won't," the Lord protested. "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days."
The angel moved closer and touched the woman. "But you have made her so soft, Lord."
"She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accompli sh."
"Will she be able to thin k?", asked the angel.
The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate."
The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."
"That's not a leak," the Lord corrected, "that's a tear!" "What's the tear for?" the angel asked.
The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride." The angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing."
And she is! Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. Th ey cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideal s. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give .
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE TINY FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH. BLONDE TEST Body: [x] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking. [x] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking. [x] You have ran into a glass/screen door many times. (does a colum count?) [x] You have jumped out of a moving vehicle. [X] You have thought of something funny while walking by yourself, laughed, then watched people give you weird looks.
so far: 5
[X) You have ran into a tree/bus. (several trees) [X] You know that it Is possible to lick your elbow. [x] You have tried to lick your elbow. [X]You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same rhythm. [X]You just tried to sing them. So far: 10
[ ] You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen. [X] You have choked on your own spit . [x] You have seen the Matrix and still don't get it. [ ] You've never seen the Matrix. [x] You type only with two fingers. So far:13
[x] You have accidentally caught something on fire [x] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes. [x] You have caught yourself drooling. [x] You have fallen asleep in class and fell outta your chair (done that at home does that count) [x] If someone says "fart" you laugh. So far: 18 [x] Sometimes you just stop thinking [X] You are telling a story and forget what you were talking about [x] People often shake their heads and walk away from you [ ] You are often told to use your "inside voice". [ ] You use your fingers to do simple math So far: 21
[ ]You have eaten a bug [X] You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important [x] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it [X] You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand [x]You have ran around naked in your house. So far: 25
[ ] You repost bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don't. [ ] You break a lot of things. [ ] Your friends know not to use big words around you. [X] You tilt your head when you're confused [x]You have fallen out of your chair before So far: 27
[ )When you're laying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling [X] The word "ummmmm" is used many times a day. TOTAL: 28
Now count them up and put "I've done __ blonde things out of 37 (With none of that Sissy Crap!!!!) Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card- just the stone cold truth of our friendship. 1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way. 2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you. 3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid. 4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get. 5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining. 6. When you are confused -- I will use little words. 7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again! I don't want to catch whatever you have! 8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass!! 9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why? You may ask....because you are my friend!"
Friendship is like peeing your pants--everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth. Send this to "all 10" of your friends, then get depressed because you can only think of four!!! (don't send it back to me....I don't want to hear it!!!) And remember....when life hands you Lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over