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Thought I would Try another joke! Posted on Oct 09, 2006 at 12:22 PM
As a teacher and former Marine, this one is very dear to my heart. No offense to any of you good Former or Present Gunny's out there. You all bailed me out of enough jams to know I have the ultimate respect for you. Johnny, the son of a Marine Gunny, was just turning 16 and was in his third attempt at passing the 6th grade. His teacher had come to the conclusion that the only way Johnny was going to pass this year was to not ask him any questions and to quietly let him slide into Junior High School. The last day of school was soon upon them, and the teacher's conscience just wouldn't let her pass the boy without his answering at least one question. With due trepidation, she finally broke down and asked Johnny one question, 'Johnny, do you know who signed the Declaration of Independence?'. Johnny looked straight at the teacher and replied, 'S**t no!'. The teacher jumped up, rapped him sharply on the knuckles with a ruler and took him down to the Principal's office where she proceeded to tell the Principal about Johnny's improper answer. The Principal assured the teacher he would handle it, turned to Johnny and asked him, 'Johnny, now who signed the Declaration of Independence?'. Johnny looked at the Principal and in a beligerent tone told him, 'D**n, I just told that b***h, I don't don't f*****ng know!'. The Principal proceed to smack Johnny on the head and announced that they would have to call his father. About 15 minutes later, everyone heard the front doors of the school blast open, and in walked the Gunny. The Principal told the Gunny about Johnny's answers, and the Gunny informed him that he would get to the bottom of this. He walked over to Johnny and asked him, 'Johnny, who signed the Declaration of Independence?'. Johnny looked at his father, and then spoke, 'I just told that B*****d and B***h, I don't f*****g, know!'. The Gunny grabbed Johnny and jacked him on the wall while shouting, 'If you signed that paper you d*****ned well better tell them'.
Guys, Lesson Number One! Posted on Oct 05, 2006 at 12:20 PM
I am really not sure how to start this, so I am just going to dive in. First, I love reading the blogs. Most of you guys have great senses of humor. Second, I've learned more about how women think on this site than I did married for 21 years. Third, there is something my parents taught me when I was just a tadpole that sticks with me still today, and I thought it was a lesson most men from my generation learned unequivocably. You never, and I repeat NEVER, threaten a woman to the point where she feels physically endangered. I was always taught that women, as aggravating and exasperating as they can be, were the greatest gift that God gave mankind. Nothing sets my hair on end faster than to hear a man bully, cajole, or denigrate a woman. If you find a woman to be so intolerable that you can't handle the situation any longer, then walk away. You don't use snide innuendoes or threats to get what you want. Ladies, be yourselves. Have your catfights, belittle us (we probably deserve it, ), but please keep talking. Your voices are like little precious sparrows that light up our lives. Semper Fi
Another Joke Posted on Sep 15, 2006 at 04:10 PM
In the Appalachian region of NC a tragedy struck a mountain family. It seems that their outhouse got pushed down the mountain during the night. The father gathered his six sons together, and before attempting to coerce a confession, he told them a story about the father of our country. As he gathered his sons together, he told them the story of George and the cherry tree. He explained how George's father asked him who had chopped down the tree, and that George had replied 'Father, I cannot tell a lie, I did it'. The father ended the story by informing the boys that because George had told the truth, his father did not punish him. Shortly after finishing the story, one of the younger boys tentatively raised his hand and informed his father that he was guilty of pushing the outhouse down the mountain. The father put his hand on the boy's shoulder and told him to come around back with him. As the other boys waited they heard their father give the young lad the whipping of his life. When they returned, one of the older boys finally spoke up and asked the father why he had beaten their younger brother? Afterall, when George Washington told the truth, his father had forgiven him and not punished him. The father carefully lit his pipe as he sat down, looked at the older boy and answered, 'That's true, but George's father wasn't sitting in the cherry tree, either'.
Enough is Enough Posted on Sep 13, 2006 at 12:33 PM
I have tried to post some light hearted and some serious blogs on this site, but lately I have been noticing a trend toward the vindictive. I have been fortunate enough to have chatted with quite a few people, both male and female, on this site; and I have not really met anyone that I haven't enjoyed talking to. I know that some of us have some animosity towards certain groups, but some of these blogs are bordering on the insane. Let's get back to the light hearted banter, the patriotic posts, the questions we have for the opposite sex, and the talk about bikes. Let's give everyone their say and respect their right to say it. It's hard to listen to some of you bash people that I've talked to and really like. Maybe if you just chat with them awhile, you might find you have more in common than you think. Ride safe and ride free people. Let's respect the right of each of us to disagree with one another.
This Dating Really S@#**s Posted on Sep 06, 2006 at 04:30 PM
After now being single for 2 years and trying a multitude of channels in the attempt to meet the "ONE", I have now learned a few things. The first is that the Carolinas really don't have a lot of eligible females. Second, long distance relationships really are all but impossible. Third, it seems like NJ and California have the best looking women on this site. Fourth, I need to buy a shirt. Fifth, there is a definate prejudice towards Harley's among the women. Sixth, it seems like everybody cheats. Seventh, the blogs are great fun. Eighth, I sure wish I could figure out what women really wanted. Ninth, how old is to old and how young is to young? Tenth and last, Why do so many women have profiles with no pictures?
Let's Remember Posted on Aug 29, 2006 at 04:08 PM
This blog is of a serious note. On sunday my son contacted me to let me know he was returning home from Iraq on Labor Day. He is a young Marine who is serving his second tour, and is scheduled for a third in February. On the same day a dear friend called me and asked me to come over. When I arrived there were two Marines at her house, and in tears she told me that they had come to tell her that her son, David, had been killed in Iraq by an IED. She cried on my shoulder for an hour, and I really didn't know what to say. As a Marine Officer I had written letters home, but at this time and this place, I found myself bereft of words. Let's remember those young men who are risking their lives on a daily basis. Whether or not we agree with the war, we can agree that the young men serving there are being asked to pay the ultimate price for us. Semper Fi, Marines. There's now another Marine guarding the gates of heaven. May you find peace, David.
I Don't Understand Women Posted on Jun 14, 2006 at 07:36 PM
I've only been on Bikerkiss for about 3 weeks, but I have noticed something about women that kind of concerns me. They all complain about the jerks they've met, but they never ask why they met them in the first place. I have just finished telling a friend I have met on here to look for certain red flags, and run like hell if any one of them shows up. I thought I would share them with anyone interested. If the guy doesn't have his own address, there's a major problem. If the guy drives a moped, find out why. If the guy has been through detox and is still drinking, run for the hills. If the guy uses illegal drugs, drop him like a hot potato. If the guy has a rap sheet, you should know what you're getting. If the guy has taken anger management courses, it's a pretty even bet you'll be his next victim. This isn't brain surgery. It's called common sense. You look for decency, you can find it. Don't settle for less, or don't complain about what a bum he is. You already knew that. You're not going to be the next Mother Theresa and perform a miracle. Good luck, ladies.