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So you're single and dating a married man Posted on Jul 15, 2010 at 06:05 PM

If you are single and thinking you are in love with a married man, let me assure you, you are not with a great man.

Don't fool yourself.

And, let's be clear... he is not with you because his wife is a horrible, uncaring person who doesn't understand him.

He is with you because he is not a great man!

If he were, he would invest the time he is spending with you on his family, get some counseling, do what he could to save the relationship, and after every possible hope disappeared, and he is still unable to have a healthy marriage, he would get a divorce BEFORE he started his affair with you!

And one more thing, you are not more interesting, attractive, or fabulous than his wife. While it may give you a little thrill to think you are so much better than his wife, and he is so much more in love with you than the women to whom he is married, he is not with you because you are so great. He is with you because he doesn't want to invest in his marriage, he likes the sexual variety, or just wants some diversion.

You are just a distraction, something different, someone to boost his ego and placate his wandering lust.

I know, I know... he tells you he loves you, that his wife is frumpy, dowdy, or not what she once was or tired of her bitching. Well, she probably has been taking of things he's failed to do. Working long hours to crawl out from underneath the financial debt he's created from spending the joint account on motels, excursions, dinners and bar tabs, and to create a home while he is out with you having some extra sex on the side.

I know he says that he wants to be with you but he can't hurt his wife or children, or it is not the right time, or he is just waiting until the divorce is final, or whatever.

The excuses are many and are routine, rote, and common. Nothing new, nothing original, and nothing true.

How many women had affairs with married men and ended up happily married to them? Hard to say. I've never met one. Maybe it has happened a few times over the expanse of human history but changes are virtually nil that it will happen to you.

Why not step back, be honest with yourself, reflect on what you are doing to a family, to children, and to another woman. And, why not take an honest look at yourself and see why it is you are letting yourself be used by a man who promised to love and cherish his wife.

Are you so desperate that you don't think you could find a good man? Do you really think this guy is going to all of a sudden become great once he leaves his wife and family? Do you feel good about yourself when you think about what you are doing to his innocent children? Can you release selfishness and find it in your heart to live in the highest good? Can you stop fooling yourself enough to realize that this is not the way to find a great man or start a healthy and happy relationship?

Does it feel good to be deceptive? To lie? To damage a family? Do you think this man who would betray his wife and children is really even remotely decent or has any sense of integrity or morality? Do you not care that he is not trustworthy, honest, respectful, or caring?

If you are single and with a married man, open your eyes, move on, and find a truly great man.

And then it takes a wise woman to realize the low life scum she is married to,is best kicked to the curb and enjoy life in peace without him and let the two have each other and a life of turmoil.